Innocent
by blacknails512
Summary: Alexander Lightwood is sentenced to Idris Boot Camp for Juvenile Delinquents for a crime he didn't commit. He planned on staying there for the year he was sentenced to, but when he meets Magnus Bane, his own little world is flipped upside down. AU/AH.
1. Welcome to Idris

_I didn't do it_, I thought again. _It wasn't me._

I looked toward the guard at my right and saw my reflection in his dark sunglasses. I didn't understand why he had his sunglasses on, though. We were on a bus with tinted windows. Besides, it was raining outside. I tilted my head and the miniature Alec in those black frames tilted his head back at me. I was about to reach up and smooth down my hair when I remembered that both of the guards were holding onto the chain of my handcuffs, completely immobilizing me. I was the only kid on the bus, so why did I need two guards?

The dim vehicle screeched to a stop and the guards yanked me into a standing position by my cuffs. There were already small scabs on my wrists from the rough metal, and having them rub against my skin made it sear with pain. I didn't give the guards the satisfaction of hearing me cry out in pain, so I bit my tongue and only grunted in their general direction.

I was pulled off the bus and into the pouring rain outside of a huge, gray institute with walls topped with barbed wire on all four sides. There were more guards at the door of one of the walls and they pulled it open when we reached it. Inside of the walls was a big, grassless yard filled with boys wearing the same black shirt, pants, and gray button down. Their ages varied from about 14 to 19. Some of them were rolling around in mud or talking in groups, but most of them were shouting at me. Shouting things along the lines of 'You ain't gonna last long in here!' and 'Look at the newbie!' I think I even heard a whistle or two.

There was one certain boy, no older than eighteen, that was standing under a set of bleachers, smoking a cigarette, who caught my attention. It was his eyes, really, that made me falter. They were green mixed with gold, and very condescending. Like a cat.

The guard with the sunglasses pulled forcefully on my handcuffs and I stumbled forward, trying to look away from the cold stare of the cat-like boy. I was pushed inside of a huge, gray building with few windows. The guards led me down a dark hallway to a room filled with bunk beds and small tables and chairs. There was hardly any other furniture, except maybe a dresser here or there, and it was all the same bleak shade of gray.

"Here," said one of the guards, shoving a stack of folded clothes at me. "This is your uniform. Every three days you will wash it and wear a clean one. Breakfast is at six, lunch at one, and dinner at six-thirty. You will wake up at five, shower, and report to the dining hall for breakfast. Afterwards there are obstacle courses you must complete among other things involving manual labor. If you step out of line you will be punished, understood?"

I nodded, looking down at the stack of clothes in my arms. Mr. I'm Too Cool to Show My Eyes Indoors directed me to one of the bunks and told me to change. He took my handcuffs off and I did just that, thinking about where exactly his eyes were underneath those glasses. Once I was finished, he took my old clothes and his buddy handcuffed me again.

When they were almost at the door, I spoke up. "Why do I still need to be cuffed?" I asked.

He and the other guard laughed at me, like I had asked the most ridiculous question on the fucking planet.

"Go out to the yard, kid," one of them said gruffly. "Welcome to Idris." Then they were gone, leaving me alone to think about what the hell was going on. I walked to the yard, which I assumed was where I had walked in. I noticed that there were buff guards _everywhere_.

Once I was outside in the pouring rain again, I wasn't really sure where to go. My feet steered me over to where that nice looking boy had been standing. And by nice looking, I mean he was pleasing to the eye. Not that he looked like a nice person to be around. So why was I walking toward him? Because there was something about him that I couldn't quite place my finger on, something about him that made me want to run over there and just stand next to him. He was magnetic.

As I walked closer to him, I realized that he had altered his uniform a bit. His black undershirt was cut so it showed his bellybutton, which was pierced, and the sleeves of his unbuttoned over shirt were rolled up to his elbows. Everyone else was wearing the same clothing and somehow he made it look good. He was all pierced up, too. Besides his bellybutton, his nose had a stud in it and there were quite a number of rings in his ears. His hair was not only 100% black, but also silky looking. I had the urge to touch it. Everything about him screamed _gay_.

I was suddenly reminded of my life back home, when I had come out to my parents. Neither one of them thought it was okay or normal or anything. They thought they had done something wrong, like it was impossible for them to produce a gay child. They took me to a number of psychologists, but gayness isn't something you can get rid of. I guess no one understood that. Not only did my parents practically disown me, but I was bullied at school and shoved into lockers countless times. My life had been hell and I thought that maybe it couldn't get any worse until that one awful day and that stupid building that erupted into flames.

_It wasn't me_.

Before I got a chance to talk to the green-eyed boy, the guards barked at us to go to our bunks. One of them yelled at the boy to put out his cigarette but I noticed a different guard slip him a pack.

I followed all of the other prisoners (though it didn't seem like the right word because they were all just boys) into the big building. I remembered my bunk was the third row down and I got into the bottom one. Like robots, everyone else did the same and slugged into their beds. The guards left us and turned out every single light with a huge click, like a giant light switch. Almost as soon as the door swung shut behind them, the room burst into movement and light. Boys were climbing out of bed and talking and flicking on lamps all over the place. I could've sworn those lamps hadn't been there a minute ago.

Someone hopped down from the bunk above me and I saw that it was the boy from the yard. I struggled to sit up with my cuffed hands and walked over to where he had sat down. He was playing cards, poker I think, with a dark haired boy about the same age that I had seen him talking to earlier.

I eventually got the courage to go over there and sit next to him, maybe try to start up a conversation or something.

When I sat in the chair next to him, both he and the kid he was playing cards with hardly acknowledged me until I said something admittedly stupid, "What are you in for?" They both started laughing and the dark haired kid handed him a pack of cigarettes.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the pierced up boy said. "Are we in an old western movie now?" He grabbed a cigarette and held it up to his eyes, putting on a fake country accent. "I reckon this here cigarette is the best darn invention since the dang waterin' hole!" He and the other boy cracked up and he rocked back onto two legs of his chair.

I just sat there and blushed like the idiot I am, rubbing my red wrists. When that kid lit his cigarette with a liter he seemed to conjure out of thin air, I was reminded of the burning house again and I narrowed my eyes at the liter like it had called me a bad name.

He took a puff of his cigarette and blew out the smoke. "Don't worry too much about that," he said, nodding towards my wrists. "They always keep you cuffed through your first night, just to see how dangerous you are. I've been here two years and they always slap the cuffs back on when you do something they don't approve of. Now the marks won't go away."

"So are you like the Billy Badass of this place?" I asked.

He blew more smoke and looked at me with his eyebrow raised. "Try Bane," he said.

"You're name is _Bane_?" I asked.

"That's what I said," he replied. "It's my last name, kid. First name's Magnus."

I noticed that he had a bit of an accent, a slight lit to some of his vowels. He seemed like he had some Asian in him, maybe Korean, but it didn't fit his accent. "Alec," I said. When I moved my wrists just barely, the cuffs scratched against them and I made a noise of discomfort.

Magnus heard this and said, "I think I can help you." He called over to a tall boy not too far away to the table we were sitting at. "Ragnor!" he almost shouted. "We've got a newb over here that is in need of your special talents!"

Ragnor walked over to us and nodded to me. "This is Alec," Magnus said a little too cheerfully. "He's kind of a pussy so get those cuffs off of him, would you?"

Ragnor got a bobby pin from Magnus and went to work on the cuff's lock. They snapped off in a second and I rubbed my sore wrists. "Thanks," I muttered, looking at him.

His face got stony and he growled at me to 'Never look him in the eyes unless I wanted a fist in my face.' I swallowed and nodded, averting my gaze.

The boy who was playing cards with Magnus laughed and hit Ragnor on the back. "Knock it off," he said. "The poor kid is gonna shit his pants if you keep messing with him."

Ragnor's voice changed drastically, going up a view pitches and letting a small British accent leak through. "Oh shut up, William," he said, grinning. "I'm just having a little fun with the new kid." He ruffled my hair and slapped me on the back. He sat next to William and offered me a cigarette. I turned it down, though. Ragnor laughed and took it for himself.

"Uh," I started awkwardly, my mind filled with questions. "Do the guards know about this? I mean, can't they hear you?"

"Nope," Magnus said, throwing down his cards in victory. "The entire room is soundproof. I don't know why but I don't care. Why question a good thing?"

"Amen to that," Ragnor muttered blowing smoke in my direction. "Some of the guards know what's going on but they just look the other way. No matter what they do, we aren't going to stop so it doesn't really matter."

"Oh," I said, eyeing the door anyways. "What _did_ you do to get in here?"

Ragnor raised his eyebrow and shrugged. "Ah, the lawyer screwed me over," he said. "Well, first I screwed his daughter, and _then_ he screwed me over. Got a year and a half in this bloody hellhole."

William wrinkled his nose. "I got two years and we had the same court case going on," he said. "You think the lawyer screwed _you_ over."

"It was your fault," Ragnor insisted. "You broke the damn window and the alarm went off. Then when the owner came in you beat him up. I just wanted an Xbox and you beat up an old guy."

"He threatened me," William muttered.

"Yes," Ragnor stated. "Because we were _robbing his store_."

"Shut up, both of you," Magnus said even though he was grinning. "I've been here two years and now I've got another year ahead of me. Don't you start complaining."

"Why have you been here so long?" I asked quietly. I saw that Ragnor and William had looked down at the cards on the table when I asked Magnus.

Magnus turned to me with his cold stare up and running. "You sure do ask a lot of questions," he said icily. "Why are you here, hm? What'd _you_ do?"

"Nothing," I muttered. "I'm innocent."

Ragnor snorted and William laughed in a barking way. "Everyone's innocent in here, kid," he said through laughter.

"My name is Alec," I said angrily.

"I think you're in over your head, _Alec_," Magnus said. The way he practically purred my name sent chills down my spine and I tried to hide the fact that I was blatantly turned on by scooting closer under the table. "Maybe you should try to go to sleep before you have a mental breakdown and start crying for your mommy," he said.

I felt my heart contract and my face get stony at the mention of my mother. I thought that going to Idris would be an excuse to never speak or think about my parents again.

"She'd be the last person I'd cry for," I said thickly. My arms were crossed on the table and I put my chin on them. "She wouldn't care anyways."

"You got mummy problems?" Ragnor asked softly.

"Don't we all?" William asked. Ragnor shushed him, saying that he wanted to hear this.

"I have mummy problems, yes," I said quietly. "She doesn't exactly think that being gay is alright. When I was thrown in here she almost threw a fucking party."

None of them said anything and I looked up at them. Both Ragnor and William were staring at me, moving their eyes to Magnus and then back to me.

Magnus stamped out his cigarette into an ash tray and rolled his eyed toward the ceiling. Shaking the hair out of his face, he said, "It could be worse, k-Alec."

"How so?"

"You could have dead parents."

It took a moment for that to strike me. "Oh," I said. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"No, it's fine," he said nonchalantly. "This place is better than a foster home so I guess everything is fine." He slammed down his pack of cigarettes and stood up. "Everything is fucking perfect." The slam of the door he closed melted in with a resounding boom of thunder.

"I think he likes you," William said happily. "Some guy a while back said almost the exact same thing and Magnus punched him in the face. Poor kid lost two teeth and damn near broke his jaw. Instead he's just going to hoard the bathroom and more than likely break a mirror."

"I don't… what did I say?" I asked.

Ragnor shook his head and leaned in closer to me. "Magnus' parents died when he was fifteen and he broke out of every single one of his foster homes," he whispered. "He had to rob a shit ton of places just to survive on his own. The fuzz picked him up and brought him here."

"He broke out after the first two years," William muttered to me. "First one in a long time. He was supposed to stay here until he was nineteen so they caught him and threw him in here for one more."

"Oh," I breathed. "How much longer does he have to stay?"

"Well, he broke out right before his eighteenth," Ragnor said. "So he still has a full year. They're going to let him out a month or two after his birthday."

"Oh," I said again.

William's eyes filled with realization and his mouth dropped open. "You _like_ him, don't you?" he asked. Before I could answer he nodded. "You do. I can tell."

"I just met him," I stated.

"Listen," William said. "Magnus is a drifter. He goes along with whatever is keeping him alive at the moment. He's been with everyone, done everything, you don't have a chance with him."

"Go to sleep, Alec," Ragnor said. "It's the only thing you can do at this point."

I climbed into my stiff bunk and pulled the sheets over me. It was hard to sleep with all the light and sound around me, but things eventually died down and my mind slowed, lulling me into a fitful sleep.

**A/N- That was better in my head, but isn't everything? I know I'm writing this in the middle of Changes but I just had to get this idea down. I know the opening and the ending, now the only thing I need is the middle. :D I'll get it done, don't worry. Changes should be updated later :)  
>Until later! and PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE REVIEWWWWW! (I'm a review whore and i'm proud of it.)<br>-Ella**


	2. First Day

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews! And I forgot this before, so let me say right now that I do not own the Mortal Instruments series or any of its characters. The all belong to the mighty Cassandra Clare. And as for everything else, I still don't own it. Just the plot.**

My night was filled with half-awake dreams of a cat-like boy, the hard doors of many different lockers, and sore wrists. By the time the guards rudely awakened us at five in the morning, I was already up and sticky in cold sweat. Sleep didn't visit me that night, only rang my doorbell and then ran away. I figured that being sleep deprived would come back to bite me in the ass when I had to run those obstacle courses.

Being gay in a boot camp full of boys where you are all in the same room, naked and wet, to take a shower is _very_ distracting. It was an advantage and a disadvantage all at the same time. I was quite happy with the fact that there weren't any morbidly obese guys there, but I couldn't keep my eyes to my own bar of soap. There were half-walls around the room and I stepped into one immediately. I wasn't one hundred percent happy with my body and I had always been a shy person. But I chose the one makeshift stall that lined my eyes up perfectly with none other than Magnus Bane. Of the obscene amount of people in that room, Magnus Bane was the one who had to stand in front of my area.

His body was godlike in terms of his golden skin. Magnus was very tall and had lean, almost indecipherable muscles throughout his entire body that just barely rippled when he moved to grab his bar of soap. If he had stopped to strike a pose, he would have looked like an ancient Greek statue; minus the Asian features of course.

I was ridiculously thankful that the water coming from the grimy showerhead was _cold_. It was so cold in fact, that I jumped and made a noise that was almost a squeal… a manly squeal. The guy next to me chuckled and muttered 'newb' under his breath. I showered quickly enough to earn a world record and hauled ass out of there like my life depended on it, all the while trying my damnedest _not_ to stare at Magnus' butt.

Guards told me to wait in the bunk room until six for breakfast, so I sat on my bed and rubbed my sore wrists. One of them noticed and called me over.

"Weren't you supposed to get those off at breakfast?" he asked. "You take them off yourself?"

"Uh," I stuttered. "I-I… uh, no?"

"_Did you?"_

And then, like the person controlling my life from up above decided to stop fucking with me for a brief second, Magnus emerged from the shower room, wet hair and everything, and threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Calm down, Monty," he said smoothly. "Dave already took care of it. Alec here-" he squeezed my shoulder "- is a crybaby and Dave took the cuffs off of him so he didn't have a complex."

The guard supposedly called Monty nodded coolly and told Magnus to stay out of trouble before going back to his position by the door to the yard.

I turned to Magnus and let out the breath I had been holding. "Thanks," I said.

"Yeah," he said, removing his arm from my shoulder. My skin felt warm and tingly where he had touched me but I chose to ignore it. "Anytime you need someone to save your ass just holler at me."

I wasn't completely sure if he was joking or not so I just smiled and nodded, watching him walk over to William and say something to him that must've been pretty damn hilarious because William almost fell to his knees with laughter.

About a half hour later, it was time for breakfast. It was a pretty simple process to get your food- get a tray, stand in line, move down the line whilst receiving various food or food-ish items, sit with your bunk mate, and eat. It was almost like school only you didn't have to pay and you were in juvey.

I sat next to Magnus, William, and Ragnor and looked down at my 'food' in dismay. My tray consisted of two globs of _something_, a piece of bread, and a dirty glass of tap water. I decided immediately not to eat one of the globs and eat the bread instead. It was the only thing on my tray that even faintly resembled food.

Breakfast was boring and gross. I wasn't sure what anything else on my tray was by sight or smell and there was no way I was putting it in my mouth. Everyone else was perfectly okay with eating the maybe-somewhat-edible items but my stomach could hardly handle the water. That might've been because it was a little soapy.

Then there was the manual labor/obstacle course running part of the day. The obstacle course involved running three miles, (_running_, mind you. No walking was allowed)crawling through mud with a barbed wire mesh tent-like thing above you so you couldn't even crouch, hurdles to jump over, and a rock wall to climb. All the while I was sleep deprived and malnourished. On top of all of that shit, it was raining.

Magnus, although he didn't talk to me otherwise, helped me through some of it. The crawling in mud part was the hardest. I was struggling to get passed it, no doubt about that, and I would know later that I was doing it wrong.

"Use your elbows, knees, and toes," he told me firmly. "It's an army crawl, not a baby crawl." I vaguely wondered how he got through the thing with all of his peircings…

Besides the stupid obstacle course, the guards made us go down into the flooded basement and get the water into buckets then pour it out the window. That was in no way affective… just painful.

Lunch was as gross as breakfast and I was too sore to eat anything. I nearly fell asleep in the cafeteria but the sound of Magnus' voice kept me awake because I was desperately trying to figure out what the hell his accent was and it was seriously bugging me. I almost thought it was British but then I thought it might've been Korean when I realized that I had never in my life heard a Korean accent before. It was a bit odd obsessing over someone's _voice_ but everything else about Magnus was so straightforward. I knew his general life story but I couldn't figure out what his damn accent was.

After lunch was more basement work and I couldn't help but wonder what they would make us do once the basement wasn't flooded anymore. I had to stay there for a year, so what happened in summer? What about winter, when it was snowing out? Hopefully, they wouldn't make us do the obstacle courses in snow. That would be like a frozen hell.

We all had 'dinner' and the guards would've sent us back out to the yard to meander around but, surprise surprise, it was _flooded_. I was so thankful for the rain and collapsed onto a chair next to Magnus, Ragnor, and William. I didn't groan or whimper or cry, but sat there like a puppet with no master, limp and tired, occasionally rubbing at my wrists.

"So how was your first day?" Ragnor asked offhandedly. "You seem kind of dead to the world."

My glazed eyes lifted and moved their gaze to Ragnor. "This place sucks," was my answer.

"Hm, maybe that's because you haven't eaten all day like a dumbass," William commented.

"Shut the fuck up William," I snapped. "No one asked for your two cents."

"Listen, you little punk," William started.

"Hey, hey, hey," Magnus interjected. "Lay off him, Will, alright? You remember _your_ first day. He's exhausted and hungry, so just leave him alone." He turned to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face, okay? It'll help a little."

No matter how nice Magnus was to me, there was no way I was going to move. "I don't know where the bathroom is," I said dumbly.

He stood up and gestured for me to follow him. "I'll show you," he said.

I stood up as well, multiple things in my body cracking and popping. I trailed behind Magnus to the door I had seen him slam shut the day before. He opened it and we stepped inside of a medium sized, actually pretty clean bathroom, complete with an air freshener.

"Huh," I said, glancing around. "I never would've thought the bathroom looked like this. Expected more of a dirty, run down, half-room with no windows and one toilet that doesn't even work."

Magnus laughed, mostly to himself, and nodded towards the sinks. I rinsed off my face while he took off all of his many piercing, cleaned them in the tap water, and put them back on. I was surprised at how many pieces of metal were in his face/bellybutton. He must have had a high tolerance for pain.

I checked my reflection in the mirror, not sure what I was looking for and not really looking for anything at all, when Magnus' voice rang out in the quiet, empty room.

"Your wrist is bleeding," he said dully. I held up my wrist and it was indeed bleeding. I remembered catching it on the barbed wire mesh and how it hurt like a son of a bitch. "Let me see it."

"It's alright," I insisted.

"Not if you cut it on metal," Magnus countered. "It could get infected you know. And the last thing you want to have at this place is an infection." Giving up, I help my wrist out to him and he gently took it in between his fingertips. He used his free hand to get a paper towel and wet it a bit. The cool, damp towel on my wrist made me wince a bit and I think Magnus noticed, but decided not to say anything.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked quietly.

He looked up at me, flipping his hair back out of his face. "That's a good question," he muttered, bending down over my wrist again and letting his hair cover his face so I couldn't see his expression. Magnus had really nice hair. "I guess it's because everyone needs a friend when you're in this place. And I kind of like you. You're different from everyone else here."

"How?"

Magnus stood straight up, his hair only revealing one eye and his hand still on my wrist. "Well," he started. "For one, you ask more questions than all of the boys here _combined_." I blushed a little when he said that. It wasn't my fault I was curious. "And I have a weird feeling that we would be friends in a different universe or something. You're not half bad, Alec."

"Um, thanks," I said a bit awkwardly, though I'm sure I was smiling. "For everything."

And then Magnus smiled for the first time. It wasn't a grin or a smirk, no, it was an actual smile. His hand was tight around my wrist and there was a little twinkle in his eyes and-

"What are you two doing?" William asked, pushing open the door with a weird look on his face.

"We're just cleaning up, William. Calm down," Magnus said, letting go of my wrist and handing me the damp paper towel. "Keep cleaning it, I'll go find you a Band-Aid or something." He left, leaving me with an angry William.

As soon as Magnus was out the door, William grabbed the collar of my shirt and shoved me against the bathroom wall. "What were you doing with him?" he asked harshly. "I saw the way you looked at each other, _what were you doing_?"

"N-Nothing," I stuttered. "He was helping me with my wrist."

"You better not being lying to me," he growled. "Stay _away_ from Magnus; don't talk to him, don't look at him, don't sit next to him, nothing."

"Why?" I whispered condescendingly. _Keep your mouth shut, Alec,_ I thought. _Don't say it_. "It's not like he's your boyfriend." Damnit.

William was outraged and he reeled back then punched me in the mouth. I fell to the floor, making a small noise of pain. I would not give him the satisfaction of hearing me cry out. He towered over me and was about to hit me again when the door opened and he sprang backwards with a creepy smile on his face.

Magnus was standing there, holding a Band-Aid and a pack of gummy bears, looking confused as he saw me on the floor and William chuckling. "What happened?" he asked.

"Alec slipped and fell on his face," William said through minimal amounts of laughter. That sneaky bastard.

"Yeah," I muttered, holding my jaw. "Clumsy me."

Magnus put down the gummy bears and the Band-Aid then bent down to help me up. "Jeez Alec," he said. "I turn around for one minute and you fall down. I might have to stay around you 24/7 so you don't accidentally kill yourself." I just gave a nervous laugh and looked at William whose eyes were hateful towards me.

Magnus led me out of the bathroom and we sat next to Ragnor again. I had a faint vision of William growling at me on our way out, but he stayed in the bathroom, probably to shine his knuckles so they'd hurt more.

"Here," Magnus said, handing me the gummy bears. "Thought you might be hungry."

I took them and smiled, my stomach rumbling with hunger. "Thanks," I muttered, eating one slowly.

_Welcome to Idris, _I thought. _More like welcome to Hell._

**A/N- Oh William, you jealous asshole. You all should totally review, because I need to know if this is any good. I saw that a bunch of people alerted and favorited this story, but you didn't review. That made me sad. As you know, I am a review whore and the more you review, the faster I update and the better the chapters are. Just saying…  
>-Ella :D<strong>


	3. That Was My Routine

**A/N- Sorry this took so long. Enjoy. And to StarryOwlEyes, no I do not have a tumblr but I kind of want one now… Hmmm… Thanks for reviewing everyone!  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing.<strong>

I tried not to speak or look at Magnus for the rest of the night but that is easier said than done. He kept trying to engage me into a conversation and I had to give him one word answers just so William would tone down his glare a bit. I don't know why he was so against me and Magnus being friends, but whatever the reason was it must've been pretty bad for him to punch me in the face. My mouth still hurt and I think it started to bruise.

Ragnor wouldn't stop bugging me about why I was even in Idris in the first place. Every single time we all got quiet he would ask 'Hey, Alec, why are you here? What did you do? Was it bad?' and so on. I had to control myself and strangle a few gummy bears just so Ragnor didn't die a horribly painful death. I think William got fed up with it all so he went to talk to a hard faced, almost bleach-blonde guy who was leaning against the wall with a black haired kid. They both looked menacingly evil and when William started talking to them their eyes flicked over to me and my stomach plummeted down into my toes.

"You okay there, lad?" Ragnor asked, looking at my widened eyes. He always called me lad, kid, or Kalec. That seemed to be my new nickname because everyone would start off calling me kid and then switched to Alec, ending up with Kalec. It didn't make sense for him to call me lad because we were practically the same age but I didn't say anything about it.

"Who are they?" I asked quietly, pointing to the two boys once they turned their attention back to William.

Magnus furrowed his brows. "The dark haired one is Sebastian," he said. "And the blond asshole is Jonathan. They might as well be the same person for all I care.* Don't talk to them; they're not the nicest of people. I don't know why William hangs out with them."

"William and Jonathan were friends in highschool," Ragnor said. "I think he tainted him."

"Oh," I said. "Do they ever smile?"

"Not that I've seen," Magnus muttered, reaching for one of my gummy bears. I slapped his hand away, giving him a 'No You Ain't' kind of face. He frowned and said "Those are technically mine. I deserve at least one." I groaned, no way for me to argue with his logic, and I handed him one. He smiled and ate it happily, throwing a wink at me. Yes, a wink. I'm just as confused as you are.

Ragnor was looking at us oddly. "Uh," he said, moving his eyes between the two of us. "You know, I'm not even going to ask."

Fuckface –I mean William didn't join our table for the rest of the night so Magnus and Ragnor taught me how to play poker. I'm not one to smoke cigarettes so once I got the hang of it we played for gummy bears instead. For the record, I am a horrible poker player. I ended up having to give the rest of the gummy bears to Magnus, though I'm still convinced that he cheated. He let me have a few for not being a sore loser.

By ten o'clock my back was killing me and it kept popping whenever I moved the wrong way. I didn't say anything but I'm sure everyone could hear it. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I stretched as I stood up and said my goodnights to everyone. By everyone, I mean Magnus and Ragnor. Magnus seemed a little disappointed that I was going to sleep so soon but it might've just been my imagination.

My back cracked again as I spread myself out on my bed and yawned. Idris had kicked my ass that first day and I was exhausted. Before, it had only been my body that hurt. Then William punched me and my mouth started to hurt. I telepathically told him to fuck off and I hoped he had gotten the message.

I closed my eyes but didn't immediately go to sleep, though my body was thankful for the somewhat comfortable mattress. My thoughts began to drift to my old life, back at my house with all my family. Up until I was seventeen, almost eighteen, everything had been fine. But _nooooo_, my parents just _had_ to be the way they were and not be able to wrap their minds around the idea of having a gay son. My adopted brother Jace and my sister Isabelle didn't give a damn, but my parents freaked out. Maybe it's because Izzy and Jace are more new-age, whereas my parents are stuck in the 20th century. And my other brother, Max, well he was just a little kid…

Suddenly, I felt tears prick at my eyes, threatening to escape out of the corner of my eyelids. I closed my eyes tighter and made my mind turn off for a split second before moving over to the topic of _Magnus_. He was happier to think about even though I had only known him for like twenty-four hours. Magnus kind of reminded me of Jace, but only a little. They were both jokesters and a bit mischievous. I doubt they would like each other, though. Their egos would get in the way.

Magnus was very… into himself. Conceited isn't the right word, it's just that he knows he's attractive and he uses that to his advantage. The guards, given a few exceptions, treated him differently than everyone else. He wasn't a juvenile delinquent to them, more like a younger version of themselves that made some bad choices. In his defense, Magnus did do all of those things to stay alive, or so I'm told. My point is, he's different, but in a good way. He had gotten me out of trouble with that guard Monty and then didn't bring it back up again. I guess he had been in Idris for so long that they were all used to him.

* * *

><p>The next morning, my back felt a little better but I hadn't slept through the night that well. I think I just wasn't used to that hard bed yet. Sore back or not, I had to get up anyways or the guards would get pissed at me and put the cuffs back on, so I slowly made my way to the showers. I chose the one in the very back so I wouldn't have any awkward moments with anyone, but lo and behold Jonathan ended up right next to me.<p>

"Hey newbie," he said as the cold water turned on.

"Uh," I said, confused. Wasn't one of the rules here not to talk to a guy when both of you are wet and naked? Or was I more gullible than I thought on my second day? "Hello…"

"I hear you're trying to get with Magnus Bane," he said coolly.

"No," I said quietly. "I'm not trying to get with any-"

"_Don't_ interrupt me when I'm talking!" he suddenly exclaimed in a weirdly mean voice. "William told me what happened so don't even _try_ anything with Magnus. You'll just get your ass beat!"

"Got it," I muttered, confused and scared. He went to a different showerhead without another word and I think I would've pissed my pants if I had been wearing any. I got the fuck out of there and sat on my bunk, dressed and probably pale.

Magnus strolled out of the shower room, snapping his fingers in a way that reminded me of someone strolling through the park like they didn't have a care in the world. He seemed like he had it all figured out.

"Hey, Alec," he said, sitting next to me with his knee propped up and his other foot on the floor. "You look sick. Did Ragnor make you eat something odd that he found in his bureau?"

"N-no," I muttered. "It's nothing like that." I glanced around and vaguely acknowledged that we weren't within hearing range of the few other people in the room.

"Are you homesick?" he asked quietly.

"Not at all," I said quickly. "I do miss my little brother though…"

He blinked and shook the hair out of his face asking, "What happened to your brother?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," I muttered, feeling a knot begin to form in my throat.

"Are you sure that's it?" he asked kindly. He seemed genuinely concerned about my well-being and it made me feel a little better about the whole ordeal.

"And you say I ask a lot of questions," I teased with a small smile on my face.

He held up his hands in defense. "Hey," he said. "I'm just trying to be friendly but if you want me to be an asshole then I can do that, too."

"No," I said, chuckling a little. "Friendly is good."

He smiled at me but his face quickly changed. "Seriously, though," he said. "Is there something wrong? Besides the fact that you're in this place?"

"It's nothing…"

"Is there some way that I can help?"

"No," I said, drifting off as I met Jonathan's eyes from across the room. "I don't think you can really _help_ with it."

"Alright, whatever you say," he said, raising his eyebrow.

A few minutes later, we were in the dining hall, ready to eat whatever gruel they were serving that day. Again, I sat next to Magnus and Ragnor, but William was off with his evil minions. Magnus pointed to the globs of whatever it was and told me that one was oatmeal and the other was scrambled eggs.

"_Scrambled_ eggs?" I repeated incredulously. "More like pureed." And he laughed at that. He laughed like it was the funniest goddamn thing in the world. Sufficed to say, I was confused as hell and Ragnor was grinning like he knew something I didn't so I only smiled at them and ate the pureed eggs. Instantly regretting that decision, I spit them out onto my tray and made a disgusted noise. Magnus _really_ started laughing then and I hit him on the arm. "That's not funny," I muttered at him.

"You should've seen your face," he said through laughter. "It was like this." He scrunched up his nose and eyes but left his mouth hanging open. I had to admit, it was pretty damn funny and we both started laughing again. I don't think anyone out of our little group could hear us because the cafeteria was so loud, but we were cracking up.

My eyes suddenly locked with someone else's and my laughter died. William was glaring at me like I had just killed his favorite pet or some shit like that, and his little cronies were sitting next to him with matching glares. Magnus noticed my lack of happiness and his smile faded as well when he saw them.

"Just ignore them," he said to me, taking his eyes off of them. "They'll get bored with you eventually."

"And if they don't?" I countered.

"I'll protect you," he said half-jokingly. "And Ragnor will make sure they don't beat you to a complete pulp."

"Gee," I said lamely. "I feel reassured."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day was pretty okay- It was still raining and they made is run in the rain and do obstacle courses and all that. The basement was still flooded and we had to keep on draining it out with waterlogged buckets. They were wooden buckets and I thought to myself, <em>How are these not soiled yet?<em> Maybe I'm just an idiot but it seemed weird to me.

Did I say that the day was alright? Oh, well I was wrong. When we were un-flooding the basement, the guards shouted for two of us to go get more buckets from the closet on the next floor up. I think Karma was trying to make me cry that day, and it ended up being Jonathan and I that had to go up there by _ourselves_. He seemed to be in cahoots with all of the freaking guards and they trusted him.

I followed him up the stairs, thankful that I couldn't see his face. We reached the supply closet and I searched the small room for a few extra buckets when I heard the door click shut behind us. I turned around slowly, my heart beating against my chest, and saw him smile evilly at me.

"Listen," I said calmly. "I'm not trying to cause any trouble…"

"Really?" he said while walking closer and closer to me. "That's not what William told me."

"William probably misunderstood," I muttered, trailing off when his fist closed around my shirt. I definitely wished I was stronger when he punched me in the exact same place that William had. The worst part was that he kicked me while I was down and almost caused my breakfast to come back up.

"Get up," he snarled at me, yanking me into a standing position by my collar. "Hurry up and get the buckets."

I did hurry up and found four so he snatched two from me and made his way back downstairs. I had no idea how he expected me to go back down there and lift heavy pails full of water when he had just punched me in the face and kicked me in the ribs, but I went down there anyways and worked like I usually would.

Magnus had said earlier that day that everyone there had a routine. And, well, that was my routine for a while. I would hang out with Magnus and Ragnor, get beaten up by the three most feared people in Idris, and carry on with my day. Sometimes though, my thoughts would drift over to my family and I almost broke down. I didn't let it get to me like I knew it eventually would. Magnus and Ragnor tried to keep me safe, but they could only do so much. I decided I would have to tough it out for the time being.

* * *

><p>A few weeks after that, William still didn't sit with Magnus, Ragnor, and I when we were in the bunk room. Instead, he was on the opposite side of the room with Sebastian and Jonathan.<p>

"Why won't he come over here?" Magnus asked. "It's been weeks since you got here and it's like you've got a disease or something that only he can catch." He turned to me. "Do you have a disease?"

"No," I said. "Not that I know of." I still hadn't told Magnus or Ragnor that William and his evil friends only hated me because I was supposedly 'trying to get with Magnus.' No matter how much I tried to explain to them that he and I were just friends, I still got beaten up…

"Huh," he said, looking away from William. "How are your bruises?" His eyes had gone softer and I think he forgot that Ragnor was there.

"They're the same as yesterday, Magnus," I said calmly.

"Ah, you're lip is busted again," he muttered. "C'mon." He took my wrist and led me to the bathrooms, leaving Ragnor to play cards by himself.

We had become closer over those past few weeks but we were seriously just friends. Though, I do think we had flirted on more than one occasion, but it never went farther than playful teasing.

Magnus helped with all the cuts and bruises I had. With all of the things going on it really warmed my heart to have someone there that cleans me up after I got beaten by someone. He got the blood off of my lips and sighed.

"Thanks, Magnus," I said, probably blushing from how close our faces were.

"It's no problem," he said, concentrating on the cut above my eyebrow.

"I mean it," I said with more conviction. "You've been really nice to me and I appreciate it."

He smiled kindly at me. "You're welcome, then," he said, throwing away the paper towel he had been using. His face was still very close to mine and there was something in his eyes that I had only seen a small sliver of when he smiled at me. He reached up and pushed the hair away from my forehead, his hand ghosting over the cut on my brow. I closed my eyes and met him halfway, our lips touching and igniting a spark between our mouths.

**A/N- Rushed ending, sorry. You should review. Like right now because I desperately need to hear about this chapter. Please?  
>-Ella :D<strong>


	4. A Private Moment

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews! Changes is giving me a hard time so I decided to update this instead.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot…and the awesomeness. :D<strong>

All of my thoughts went straight out the window once our lips touched. The feeling was electric and it intensified when his long fingers threaded in my hair. There were different sensations all over my body, my heart was beating faster and I'm sure Magnus could feel it; we were pressed against each other so tightly that it left nothing to the imagination.

Magnus grabbed the hem of my black undershirt and used it to pull me harder against him. He began to walk forward, his lips never leaving mine, and my back hit the bathroom wall. Not exactly expecting that, I gasped and inadvertently parted my lips. Magnus took that time to sneak his tongue into my mouth. When I gasped again- and this may have just been me overthinking things- but I believe he smirked. I was the most inexperienced kisser in the world, so I simply followed his lead and snaked my hands up his chest and around his neck, moving my tongue just a little. It was weird… he smoked so many cigarettes and yet his breath was a mixture of vanilla and peppermint which was an oddly satisfying combination.

I made the immense mistake of thinking about it all and I almost pulled away. If William found out, god if _Jonathan_ found out, I would be dead. They would show no mercy and there was no way I could stop that. But the pressure of Magnus' tongue, lips, _everything _against mine made me stop thinking for once in my life. It felt so good and right that I just went with it and lived in the moment.

A noise emitted from the back of my throat when Magnus moved his thumb across the skin on my lower back. He laughed but it came out as a hum and the vibrations it caused nearly made my knees give out. I pulled away so I could take a breath, and I looked up at Magnus with glossy eyes.

He was smiling and his lips were shining, but his eyes were the best part- they were glowing, and lit up his entire face, his entire being. They weren't as condescending as usual, but they still reminded me of a cat. The big gold-green orbs had a certain playful glint to them and he… he was _amused_.

"What?" I asked him quietly, my face a little flushed.

"You're so cute," he said simply. His hands were still on my waist and it was really hard to concentrate on his words when my skin was tingling all over.

I felt my face heat up even more but Magnus' hands left me and he went over to the door. It was then that I remembered we were in the bathroom and my heart was still fluttering around in my chest. He locked the door and turned back to me, a smile toying at his lips.

His arms slinked back around my waist and I visibly tensed up. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"N-nothing," I stuttered. I had begun thinking about the consequences of this. William's words came back to me- _Magnus is a drifter. He's been with everyone, done everything; you don't have a chance with him. _

"Alexander," he said, using my full name. Ever since I told him that, he called me Alexander a lot. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. "I've known you for almost a month; I can tell when something is bothering you." Soft lips found my neck and he sucked gently on the skin there, making my brain turn to mush and my knees almost give out. There was sure to be a mark left over from that.

"I'm just thinking about getting beat up again," I sighed.

Magnus moved his lips off my neck and stared at me. "Why are you thinking about that?" he asked softly.

"I don't know," I said cautiously. "It's always on my mind."

His hands ghosted off my skin and I almost sighed at the loss. "I don't understand why they won't lay off you already," he muttered, mostly to himself. "Usually they get bored with the new kids after a few days but they won't leave you alone. And William keeps hanging out with them… Did something happen with you two or something?"

"No," I lied smoothly. "Sebastian and Jonathan won't give it a rest is all."

"Well maybe Ragnor and I could _talk_ to them for you," he said with a smirk on his face. "I bet they'd leave you alone then."

I chuckled a little but my mind was buzzing all over the place. At first, I hadn't told Magnus and Ragnor about why they beat me up mostly because I didn't know anyone all that well. But after a while, I didn't tell them because it was kind of embarrassing. I had never tried to fight back at all, ever, because I wasn't as strong as Jonathan or Sebastian or even Will. So as of that moment, Magnus and Ragnor only knew that Jonathan and Sebastian beat me up because they were bored. According to Magnus and Ragnor, William hadn't laid a hand on me.

"That's okay," I said. "Why don't you go on back to Ragnor? He's probably lonely."

Magnus grinned a grin that reigned supreme over the Cheshire cat's and nodded. "You going to be okay in here?" he asked.

"Mhm," I said. "I'll be out in a second."

"Alright," he said skeptically. He kissed me gently before he left, our lips barely pressing against each other. My heart was jumping around against my chest, but my mind wasn't in it. He smiled a little at me and then he was out the door, leaving me to my thoughts.

I stared in the mirror for a long while, staring into the infinite nothingness of my reflection. I actually saw myself for a minute or two, but then the image blurred and I started finding every single bruise or cut on my skin. There were more than I remembered… and they looked a lot worse up close.

Magnus kissed me. I kissed Magnus. Me and Magnus kissed. _Magnus and I had just kissed each other_, I thought rapidly. What did that mean? Were we an item, then? Were we together?

A headache threatened to take me over and I squeezed my eyes shut, sighing to myself. I made my way back to the poker table and sat next to Magnus who was handing Ragnor gummy worms that were coated in sugar.

"Hey lad," Ragnor said, gather together his gummy worms. "Nice hickey you got there."

I slapped my hand over my neck as Magnus started laughing. He pulled my chair closer to him and I felt my face get hot. Magnus got right to it and took my hand.

"What is this?" Ragnor asked, suspiciously pointed a gummy worm at us. "Are you two…? What did you guys _do_ in that bathroom?"

"Oh, nothing," Magnus said, glancing at me. "Alexander, you're giving us away with your intense blushing."

"Sorry," I muttered. "I can't help it."

"Well," Magnus started. "It's a good thing you're cute." His lips grazed my red cheek and Ragnor groaned.

"He isn't going to be another William is he?" he asked.

"No, not at all."

Even though it was probably a good idea to keep my mouth shut, I asked what happened between him and William. As it turns out, Magnus' second year was William's first, and they had a fling, too. When Magnus broke out, he didn't tell William or Ragnor and they weren't really happy with that. By the time he got back, they were still bitter about it but eventually became friends again. Magnus didn't want to be with Will anymore and that had caused some tension between the two.

"Oh," I said.

"Don't worry," Magnus assured me. "I'm staying here for the next eleven months even though I'd really rather not."

"Do you know when you're getting out?" I asked him quietly.

"July something or other," he said. "Ragnor here is leaving six months earlier than me, the lucky bastard."

Magnus and Ragnor started talking about something that didn't involve me, but Magnus kept our hands locked together. I had only known him for a month but I felt like I really knew him… and even if I didn't _really_ know him, I sure did like him. A lot. I could feel William's hard gaze on the back of my neck from across the room but I ignored it and tried to enjoy Magnus while I could.

The next day, everything went normally. With the basement un-flooded and every roof of the place newly waxed, the guards had nothing for us to do so they sent us into the yard until after dinner and we all got a nice break in the bunk room.

The entire day, I didn't get beaten up once. The way the rotation worked, I wasn't in the same room with Jonathan, Sebastian, _or _William for more than a few minutes. And Magnus was always there with me so it didn't really matter. He could get pretty protective at times but it's not like I was complaining.

It was just getting dark when one of the guards ordered me over to him. He handed me a slightly crumpled letter. "Mail," he said simply.

I went back to my bunk to read it privately. It was a letter from my sister Izzy.

_Hey Alec. It's Isabelle. I don't know if you can get mail or if you can send any back because Mom won't tell me. But, if you do get this, I want you to know how much we miss you. Jace is being… catatonic. He won't talk to anyone and I know how he feels. I think he really misses you but is too proud to say so. He's trying to be strong about it all. First Max and then you…_

_Alec, I know you didn't do it. I know you didn't mean to hurt Max and I _know_ how unfair all this is. I miss you so much and the next year is going to suck for both of us. Sorry for being such a downer, but I really want you back here. _

_I hope things aren't too bad in Idris. Maybe it's better for you to get away from Mom and Dad. I hate telling you this, but right now they're pretending you don't exist. Whenever someone asks about you they play dumb and act like the other person is crazy. You have no idea how tense the house is._

_If you can, will you write back to me? Maybe we can work out a system or something so at least one member of your family knows how you're doing. You know I still love you, right? Even though he won't say it, Jace still loves you, too. This is hard for him, he needs his brother… So do I. _

_I wish there was some way for me to make this letter sound happier, but there really isn't. There's nothing either one of us can do. I tried talking to a lawyer about giving you another trial, but he said there was no chance. You're already in Idris, so why don't we both try to get through it?_

…_I love you, Alec. I'll see you in eleven months, okay?_

_Please write back-  
>Izzy<em>

I sighed as the letter ended and my eyes filled with tears. There was no way I could be alone with all the guys in the room and I was about to go to the bathroom when Magnus appeared beside me.

"What did the guard want?" he asked quietly, sitting beside me. His eyes went softer when he saw that I was close to tears, so I handed him the letter and he read it quickly. "Alec, what happened to Max?" he asked softly.

"If I tell you now, I'll start to cry," I muttered. A single tear slipped down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. "Shit, I'm already crying."

Another tear fell and Magnus moved his thumb across my cheek, sweeping it off. He affectionately stroked my cheek and I think he was really worried for a second. He sat closer to me and I put my head on his shoulder, willing away the many tears that had built up behind my eyelids.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," I muttered. "I just need a second." He nodded and let me go, walking back to Ragnor. I silently walked into the bathroom which was literally the only place in Idris where you could have a private moment.

I bet if Magnus or Ragnor had been paying attention, they would've noticed the three boys who had it out for me walk into the bathroom with angry looks on their faces.

**A/N- Not particularly happy with this chapter. It was necessary and yet… I feel like it's mediocre. But, what the hell, I'm thirteen, what do I know? It just feels like I've lost all of my creative juices. Adam Lambert is taking over my mind…!  
>REVIEW OR NO CHAPTER 5! MWUAHAHAHAHA!<br>-Ella :D**


	5. The Worst Beating

**A/N- Thank you all for the glorious pieces of amazingness that I like to call reviews! :D I'm so happy right now. And, surprisingly, a lot of ya'll were like 'You're thirteen? Whaaaa?' but then you said I was a good writer and I smiled like this C: So thanks!  
>P.S. - The one thing I'm not good at writing is a long fights scene. Sorry if this isn't up to par.<br>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot.**

William was the first one to hit me. I didn't have a chance to say anything to him, I barely turned around, and he struck me down immediately. I tried to use the wall as leverage and stand up like a man but I never got to. Sebastian was there in a split second and grabbed me around my neck while William got right in my face.

"You lying little bastard," he spit out. "Magnus Bane doesn't belong to you, _he's mine._"

It was hard to speak with Sebastian's arms around my neck but I had just enough breath to get out a small sentence. "Magnus doesn't belong to anyone," I choked. "He's a human being not a play toy."

"_Shut up_!" William growled. He kneed me in the stomach, making breathing all sorts of difficult, and nodded to Sebastian and Jonathan who slowly closed in on me.

Sebastian gave me one hard punch to the face and let me go. I only had time to stumble to the ground and attempt to pick myself up before Jonathan kicked me in the ribs. They wouldn't stop; it was just a big plethora of punches and kicks. The fact that they were both wearing combat boots didn't at all help my case.

At one point, I blocked a kick from Sebastian and almost stood up. I think that only made him angrier, like a bulldog you took food from, and he backed me into a wall. I don't know where William was during all of this, he may have left the bathroom after he got to hit me once and let his minions take over.

Sebastian kicked me again, harder that time, and Jonathan kicked me in the exact same place. There was a loud crack and a searing, mind-boggling pain took over my body. I curled into a ball on the floor and let them do their damage. All I wanted to do was pass out so the pain didn't completely override my senses.

All of a sudden, the door burst open and Magnus and Ragnor ran inside. Neither Sebastian, nor Jonathan noticed until Ragnor grabbed the back of the latter's shirt and yanked him off of me with a force I didn't no he had. The bleach-blond teen was thrown onto the floor and Sebastian looked behind him to see what the hell was going on. While Ragnor continued to toss Jonathan around like he was a ragdoll, Magnus punched Sebastian so hard that he was unconscious in a second. I guess he wasn't as strong as he looked.

Magnus bent over me with a genuinely concerned look on his face and called over to Ragnor to leave Jonathan alone and go find the nurse from the infirmary. I vaguely thought about how I had no idea that Idris had a freaking infirmary, let alone and actual nurse that worked there. It also surprised me that no one else had come running in wondering what the fuck was going on. Magnus had said that the walls were soundproof. I wondered if that meant no one could hear what was going on in the bathrooms…

"Alec," Magnus sighed, sitting on the floor and putting my head in his lap. "What am I going to do with you?"

My chest rattled every time I took a breath, which was very painful. I assumed I had broken something important when the piercing pain came back as I shifted next to him. Even though I tried to hold it in, a cry of pain escaped my lips and Magnus' eyes widened.

"What is it?" Magnus asked.

"My… side," I breathed. He tentatively reached out and touched my left side, right on my ribs, and I instantly grabbed his hand, sucking in a breath. "Don't."

He cursed under his breath, muttering that Ragnor was taking way too long. Jonathan and Sebastian were still very much unconscious when Magnus picked me up bridal style. He made sure that I was comfortable by sitting me in his arms so that my left side was facing outwards. A commotion erupted when he carried me through the bunk room and the guards almost stopped him until they saw me.

Ragnor and a confused looking woman nearly ran into us. I think they started arguing about what was taking so long and what was happening and who I was but my eyes were drifting closed. Before I really knew what was going on, I felt the relief of a surprisingly soft mattress underneath my body.

The nurse, whom I heard Ragnor call Ms. Herondale, ordered him to go get Jonathan and Sebastian. He started arguing with her that it was their fault in the first place and they should be left there but she stared at him with very cold eyes until he gave up and went back to the bunkroom.

Ms. Herondale flitted over to me and started poking and prodding me everywhere, touching my ribs as much as she could. On the fifth time I almost started crying and grabbed her wrist.

"Stop… touching me…" I hissed, my fingers tightening around her wrist. "Just make the pain go away."

"Alexander," she said strictly. "Two of your ribs are broken-"

Magnus interrupted her. "He _broke his ribs?_" he asked incredulously.

"Magnus, you can't be in here right now…" she started.

The last thing I remember hearing is Magnus saying that he was my boyfriend and he had a right to be there. I think I smiled before the nurse stabbed a needle in my arm and I went into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>My dreams were hazy and hardly dreams at all. They were more like contorted memories that all melted into a blur of feelings. My eyes were still closed, but after a while my mind awoke.<p>

There was noise all around me and a certain pressure on my hand that didn't go away. The sounds slowly diminished away but the pressure was still there. I let my eyes flutter open and saw only stark white. For a split second, I thought I had gone blind, but then my vision cleared and I was seeing the white of the infirmary ceiling. My glazed eyes moved over to my hand and saw it connected to someone with black sparkly finger nails- Magnus.

He was seated in a wooden chair next to my bed that looked very uncomfortable to me. His elbow was resting on the side of my bed and he was leaning his head on it. I realized that he was asleep.

"Magnus," I said quietly, tugging at his hand. When his eyes opened I tried to sit up but my side still hurt a lot. It wasn't as bad, but pain is pain.

"Hey," he said with a small smile on his face, pushing me back down onto the bed with his free hand. "Take it easy, okay? Those fucking bastards broke two of your ribs. The nurse said you were lucky that it didn't puncture your lung because you would've started coughing up blood and they would've had to take you to a hospital for emergency surgery and-"

I stopped his rambling by grabbing his collar and pulling him down to kiss me. My side was throbbing in pain but I chose to ignore it while Magnus' lips were in contact with mine. When I kissed him, everything seemed to melt away and it was just us. I loved that feeling.

He pulled away and smiled at me. "Okay then," he muttered, sitting back in his chair.

"What time is it?" I asked cautiously.

"Only about nine, why?"

"At night?"

"Yes, Alec," he said. "She knocked you out, reset your fucked up ribs, wrapped up your waist, gave you a shit ton of meds, and here we are."

"Oh," I muttered. "That's good, I guess. Did the nurse tell you how long I would be in here?"

"She said like… three weeks." I groaned and he stroked my hair saying that it could be worse. At least I didn't have to run the obstacle courses anymore.

"It still sucks," I said. "This entire place sucks… My life sucks… And sometimes I don't want to live anymore. Maybe they should've just killed me..." I covered my face with my hand when I felt the tears starting again. There was no way I was about to have an episode with Magnus right next to me.

He took the hand covering my face and moved it to lay by our other joined hands. "Don't say stuff like that," he said quietly. "You should never wish to die, Alexander. You only get one life…"

"Magnus," I said, openly letting the tears fall. "My parents are pretending I don't exist, I was teased and bullied at my school all the time, I'm in a fucking boot camp for something I didn't do, and everyone in my home town thinks I tried to kill my baby brother!" I let go of his hands and wiped away the dampness on my cheeks. It was in vain; I started crying harder until I made my side hurt even worse than before.

Magnus crawled up into the bed and lay so he could face me, wrapping his arms around my chest so he didn't disturb the bandages on my ribs. "Shhh," he murmured rubbing soothing circles on my back.

I was so glad that Ms. Herondale wasn't in the room at the moment because I was outwardly sobbing by that point. The tears wouldn't stop and my throat was burning, not to mention the fact that my whole torso hurt… But it felt good to let it all out. I don't think I would've felt any better if Magnus hadn't been there.

**A/N- Short, sorry. Review review review! I wanna hear/read your thoughts about what you think happened to Max! :D  
>-Ella<strong>


	6. And Then It Was Official

**A/N- Goodness, you all have given me the best reviews ever! Some of you were kind of close on what you thought happened to Max. I'm not saying anything else because it'll give away the entire story. Oh, before I forget, I want to say hey and thanks to my two new websties (web besties) Jess and Nat. You two are awesome-sauce! :D We are co-writing a story call Lost & Found, it' Malec so keep a look out for that. Also to Bee, Hi!  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot. The Mortal Instruments series belongs to Cassandra Clare.<strong>

After I had calmed down a bit, Magnus remained in the bed with me after helping me sit up and told me what happened with Jonathan and Sebastian. Apparently, they played unconscious for a little while, then got patched up, took some painkillers, and were on their merrily evil way. They didn't even get a punishment. None. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch.

When I angrily questioned this, Magnus explained that Jonathan's dad was the warden. _The fucking warden was my mortal enemy's dad_. I think I almost blew a fuse when Magnus told me. It didn't make sense, though. If his dad ran it, then why was Jonathan wasting away in Idris in the first place?

"Jonathan has done worse shit than I have and that's saying something," Magnus said. "I think his dad let him get away with it or didn't know until the stupid white-haired kid decided to steal his rich daddy's car and _accidentally _drive it into a ravine."

"What the fuck?" I exclaimed. "So, just because they share the same fucking blood, he can get away with whatever the fuck he wants? That's fucking ridiculous!"

"Alexander," he said, squeezing my hand. "Calm down, okay? They'll get what they deserve. Her name is Karma and she's a total bitch."

"Sorry," I sighed. "Today just really sucked."

"I know," he muttered, pressing his soft lips to my forehead. "But it _will_ get better; I'll make sure of it." Warm arms wrapped themselves around my broken body and pulled me closer. Magnus must have accidentally touched my ribs because I inhaled sharply at the sudden pain that came from his touch. He immediately pulled back, an intense look of worry on his face. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Its fine," I breathed, resisting the urge to cry again.

He resorted to gently stroking my cheek instead and I leaned into his hand. Something in his eyes sparkled as I did so and he leaned forward, barely letting his lips touch mine. It was less than satisfying; I wanted more of him, so I slid my arms around his neck and pressed my mouth to his. He pulled back almost immediately and I sighed.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"I…I'm really craving a cigarette right now," he pretty much whispered, not looking me in the eye.

"Then go get one," I suggested.

"I can't smoke in here," he muttered. "And I'm afraid that if I go get one they won't let me back in."

"Oh," I said. "Well how about you go on back to the bunk room? I'll be fine here."

"But I don't want to leave if I don't have to."

No matter the amazing amount of sweetness that was in that sentence and the warmth in my heart, he was obviously tired and needed to sleep. "Magnus," I said firmly. "I'm just going to sleep, okay? You should, too."

He sighed but nodded anyways, standing up. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Magnus was almost out the door when I called his name. "Wait a second," I said. "I never got a proper kiss from you." A lovely smile graced his lips and he strolled back to my bed, taking his sweet time. As soon as he was within my arm range, I grabbed his collar and saw him smirk as I made him kiss me. It was a bit different from our usual kisses, maybe because I was the one who enforced it, but it was a good kind of different… a really good kind of different.

My fingers found his soft hair and when he moved his tongue into my mouth I tugged on it a little. A moan came from deep in his throat and I grinned a little. Of course Magnus would be the guy to like having his hair pulled.

He pulled away and we both sucked in a breath. He was still smiling, a bit red in the cheeks, and he softly kissed me again. "Goodnight," he breathed in my ear.

Shivers coursed down my spine and my brain felt mushy. "Goodnight." If anyone asked me, I would've denied it, but I stared at his butt quite intently until he was out of the room.

I lay back on the bed and tried to fall asleep but something was bugging me, flitting around in the back of my mind like an annoying bug that you can never catch. It took me a minute, but I finally remembered. I had meant to write back to Isabelle before I went to sleep, so I rummaged around in the table near my bed until I found some form a paper and a tiny, dull pencil. I had to lean over my bed at an uncomfortable angle to use the table as a platform to write.

_Hey Izzy… It was really nice to hear from you even though things seem to be getting worse and worse at home. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this; if I could reverse time I would. I'm glad someone believes me when I say that I didn't do it. No one else seems to understand things from my point of view._

I hesitated for a moment, weighing my options, before continuing to the next paragraph.

_If it's not too much to ask, would you do me a small favor? Can you tell Max I said sorry? Just… let him know how much I love and miss him. I really want him to know that. _

_I don't have a lot of time to write this, and I don't know how long it will take to get to you, but I love you and Jace and Max all the same. As for Mom and Dad… do I really need to go there? You're my sister; you probably know how I feel about them now. Oh, and thank you for trying to get me another trial. The extent of my gratefulness can't be explained with words right now. _

_Things aren't so great here. I've become these three boys' punching bag. They won't stop beating me up. I've got two broken ribs and I have to stay in the infirmary for three weeks. But not everything is horribly morbid right now… There's this boy named Magnus and I really like him. We're not exactly dating because we can't go anywhere but I guess you could say that we're an item._

_There's not much else for me to say right now. Things have kind of calmed down now and I'm getting ready to go to sleep. Write back as soon as you can…_

_I miss you._

_Alec_

I folded the messily-written letter and stuffed it underneath my pillow, trying to stop my mind from drifting off into a cluttered oblivion.

* * *

><p>Magnus came in to visit me for breakfast the next morning. I wasn't aware that he was allowed to do that, and Ms. Herondale had just helped me get on my feet so I could use the bathroom. Do you know how hard it is to stand up and go to the bathroom when you have two broken ribs? Well it's very, very difficult, I'll tell you that much.<p>

By the time I got back to my bed, in more pain than I would've liked to be in, Magnus was sitting on that wooden chair again with two trays of breakfast. My stomach had gotten used to the mush they fed us every day, but with the painkillers they had me on I wasn't sure I could eat anything at the moment.

There was something else in Magnus' hands, other than the trays. It was my letter to Isabelle. I had planned to send it to her that morning but he beat me to it.

Setting the trays on the small table, he looked up at me with shining eyes. "You really like me?" he asked quietly.

I nodded hesitantly and slowly made my way under the safe covers of my bed. "Were you purposely trying to rifle through my things?" I asked. "Or did you just happen upon that and decide to read it?"

"A little bit of both," he answered truthfully, handing me a tray of mush and pecking me cheek. "So we're officially a couple?"

I felt the prickly, hot feeling of my neck and face turning red as I blushed but I nodded nonetheless. "Yeah," I muttered. "But only if you want to."

"Oh, I want to," he whispered in my ear. Knowing Magnus, there was probably a double meaning there or some type of innuendo, but before I could think about it any further amazingly soft lips were on mine and my breath was stolen from my chest.

**A/N- Short chapter, I know, I'm **_**sooooooorrrrryyyyy!**_** I've got two other stories going on right now, one is called Lost & Found (MALEC!) that I'm co-writing with TheFeatherQuill and mrs. jessica mellark (check out her oneshot 'Will you?' it's Malec) Lost & Found should be out soon and the other one I'm not telling about…. Only my websties know what i mean... *evil laugh*  
>Pleeeeeease review so I don't cry! This was a filler, sorry! Next one will be better! :P<br>-Ella **


	7. That Certain Sparkle

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews everyone! I just posted Lost & Found which is a story I've co-written with Jess (mrs. jesssica mellark) and Nat (TheFeatherQuill). It's pretty good, or so I'm told. They both have stories up so look at those, too!  
>Disclaimer- I only own the plot. Cassandra Clare owns the characters and all their amazingness.<strong>

Apparently, nurses don't like it much when their patient keeps making out with his boyfriend. Especially nurse Herondale. She almost threw a fit when she caught us kissing each other; you could see how red her face turned. Then again, maybe her face turned red because she was interrupting a private moment. Maybe she was unaware of Magnus' presence and felt cheated. _Maybe_ she was a homophobe. There was a multitude of possibilities, but it all came down to her being mad. And boy was she mad.

"Lightwood!" she exclaimed. "I believe you are here to recover and _not_ to begin snogging with your boyfriend! This is not a place for snogging; it is for healing. Magnus is only allowed to visit because you two are… are… _close_," –yeah, she was a total homophobe- "but if I see this again he will be out of here faster than you can say-"

And then I just stopped listening, my fogged up brain trying it's best to remember what 'snogging' meant. I used context clues to figure out that it meant kissing… well, making out, actually. Magnus was obviously amused by the whole ordeal and I could see him giggle every time she said 'snogging.' His face took on a serious expression when she mentioned him not being able to see me again if he kept kissing me like that and he nodded quickly, apologizing at once. She made me take more painkillers and fixed my bandages, then left without a word.

Magnus turned to me, grinning. "I had no idea we were _snogging_," he said. "That sounds painful." He leaned forward to kiss me again but I stopped him by touching his chin and holding it in place.

"Don't," I said firmly. "I would feel horrible if you got kicked out."

His eyes softened and he gave me a small smile. "It's not your fault you're delicious," he whispered suggestively. "I just can't seem to control myself when I'm around you."

Since his eyes were closed and his lips were puckered, I gave him the kiss he wanted but only a small one. He pouted when I pulled away. "Sorry, but that's all you get," I said. "I'm not about to get you kicked out of here."

"Fiiiiiine," he groaned, sitting back on his chair and picking at his bread. "You're lucky you're cute."

My face felt hot but I smiled to myself. I hadn't ever really thought that I was cute or attractive but Magnus told me I was every time it came up which was a lot. I wasn't sure what exactly he saw in me but apparently it's something really cute.

My stomach tumbled around inside and I offered my tray to Magnus. He took it but looked concerned.

"You okay?" he asked softly, putting my tray on the small table. "You seem sick."

"Those painkillers are upsetting my stomach is all," I muttered, clutching at my abdomen. "I don't think I'll be able to keep anything down right now."

He frowned and silently ate his breakfast, staring at me intently like I was a riddle he couldn't quite figure out. The silence was… weird for lack of a better adjective. It wasn't tense or uncomfortable, just different. Magnus was one of those people who were always talking. I guessed he liked the sound of his own voice, but hey, doesn't everyone?

"What?" I asked after and minute or two of complete silence.

"That letter you wrote to your sister," he started. "You meant everything you said?"

"Of course," I said with a nod. "I wouldn't have written it if I didn't mean it." I paused as he met my eyes. "Why do you ask?"

His shoulders lifted and fell in an oddly graceful shrug. "I don't know," he said quietly. "Just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, y'know."

That mischievous grin he always wore showed up again. "No, actually, it was stupidity," he said. "Curiosity was framed."

We both chuckled a little but the happiness was short lived. One of the guards had shown up to whisk Magnus away and make him do physical labor. Bummer, right? Whoever the guard was, he was very impatient, and was irritated that he had to 'babysit' Magnus in the first place. While he wasn't looking, Magnus pecked me on the lips and smiled before having to leave with the idiot guard. He grabbed my letter to Izzy on his way out and said he'd mail it for me.

When you really like someone and you're used to them being around you for the majority of the day, once you're alone you're _really alone._ You feel weird because they're not with you at that very moment and you can't stand it. Now multiply that feeling by twelve and you've got me.

Needless to say, the rest of the day was horribly lonely and boring. Ms. Herondale was still ticked about catching Magnus and I kissing so she was pretty bitter for the rest of the day. I missed Magnus enough that it made me feel like a teenage girl… a desperate teenage girl.

We had only been dating for like, what, maybe two days? I knew a bunch about him, like his parents and his life story. But I didn't know any _personal _things about him- His favorite color, food, type of music, hobby, whatever. I had a hunch that his favorite color would be anything that sparkled. He really liked sparkles…

Point is, we knew nothing about each other but we were all kissy-kissy when we were together. I wanted to get to know him, figure out what made him tick and all that jazz. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you have a significant other? Know all about them and like them anyways?

But if Magnus knew what happened to Max, would he still like me? I'd tell him it wasn't me, of course, but I doubted he would believe me. No one really believed me except Isabelle and maybe Jace.

I sighed and looked at the clock… it was only nine.

Time really does slug by when you miss someone.

I was still kind of giddy about Magnus. He wasn't my first boyfriend, no, but he was the first one I really liked. Wait, scratch that. For a long time I had a ridiculous crush on my brother. Okay, that just sounds creepy. It was Jace, but he's my _adoptive_ brother. Jace was the first guy I had ever liked and I stuck with liking him because I knew I could never have him. That was when I figured out that I was gay.

After figuring out such a thing, one tries to deny it as much as possible. If I even thought about the word _gay_ I would automatically deny it, repeating to myself over and over that I couldn't ever be such a thing. It was an internal battle that no one could ever help me with… because no one knew how I felt.

I tried experimenting with girls for a little while, just to keep suspicions down. Some girl whose name i still can't remember had being trying to get with me for years so I finally asked her out. Kissing her felt wrong to my heart but completely right to my brain. People say to listen to your heart, so that's what I did and dumped her.

Then I met Jared. Jared was a lot like Jace- blonde hair, golden eyes, huge ego. That was really the only reason why we started going out, because he was practically a gay Jace. A gay Jace with a really bad temper. We weren't really dating though; he was bisexual and I was his make-out buddy when he couldn't get any girls.

When he found out I was still very far in the closet, he got so mad at me that I think he was about to slap me in the face. Then I tried to prove myself to him by coming out to my parents. That didn't work out at all. Obviously, they freaked out and the bullying at school began. It kind of irritated me (pssh, kind of?) that Jared wasn't being bullied at all. Actually, sometimes _he _would bully _me. _The only reason why he wasn't being pushed around was because he was popular.

And here we are.

I was sitting in my bed, gritting my teeth in pain, beginning to feel depressed. I was mad at myself for being myself and angry tears sprung to my eyes. Blinking them away, I leaned back into the mildly comfortable mattress of my bed and slipped my eyes closed, hoping to get some sleep.

Magnus wasn't allowed to visit during lunch because he had to go back to work as soon as he was done, so Ms. Herondale woke me up to give me a cheese sandwich. No, not a grilled cheese sandwich, it was bread, then cheese, then bread. The point of such a thing didn't make sense. They wanted us to do physical labor, and yet they fed us barely-edible food that probably didn't have any nutrients in it.

When I mentioned this to Ms. Crotchety Bitch, she just glared at me so I ate the cold cheese sandwich without another word.

After what I guess you could call lunch, I continued to mope around in my bed like I was being paid to do it.

So much teenage angst was in the room, and by the time Magnus came in with our 'dinner' you could practically _feel_ the angst.

"Someone's not very happy," he muttered when he saw my face.

I took the tray of food he offered to me and shrugged. "Just thinking," I said quietly.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked kindly.

That made me stop short for a second. Again, I didn't know him like I should've known him so I shook my head and said that I'd tell him later.

We ate in silence again and I realized that Magnus' face and skin was covered in dirt. He seemed worn out and I think he was about to fall asleep in his food.

"Rough day?" I asked, causing his head to snap up.

"Yeah it was pretty shitty," he said, rubbing his eyes and smiling at his accidental rhyme. "They made us dig."

"Dig?" I repeated. "Just for the sake of digging?"

"Said it built character."

"What is this? A Luis Sachar novel?" I exclaimed. "Did you have to dig all day?"

He nodded slowly, closing his eyes and sighing. "Along with the normal running and shit like that."

"I feel so bad," I muttered. "You've been doing work all day and I've just been sitting around on my ass."

"Well, you can't help that," he said, picking at his food. "That mother fucking bastard broke two of your ribs. It's not like you can just get up and go run a marathon."

I nodded but didn't say anything for a second. I let him eat a little before asking him a question that had been bugging me for the entire day, "What's your favorite color?"

He blinked and looked at me before saying that it was yellow. Apparently, his bed back had bright canary yellow comforter. For some reason, that didn't surprise me.

"Yellow would look really good against the color of your skin," I said somewhat to myself.

His face broke into a grin and a sparkle appeared in his eyes. I could get used to that certain sparkle.

**A/N- Yeah, yeah, abrupt ending, shut up. It's the best I could do. It's almost midnight where I am and I wanted to get this up while I still could. So… you wanna maybe review? Pretty please? The more you review the faster I update. I'm a review whore, I've got a problem, I know. I can't help it.**

**-Ella **


	8. All Healed Up

**A/N- I loved all of your reviews. I currently have 88 fantastic reviews which are just as much as I had for my first fanfic that had 18 chapters. I've come a long way since then, huh? So thank you so very much :) Just so you're not confused- right now it's August for them. Alec got there in the middle of July.  
>Disclaimer- I only own the plot.<strong>

Magnus was allowed to stay for an hour or two after dinner so he crawled into bed with me and we lay side by side, holding hands and asking each other all kinds of questions. He had really soft hands and I kept rubbing the pad of my thumb over his smooth skin.

I had found out a lot about him in the hour we had talked- his favorite color was canary yellow, his favorite food was lasagna, his favorite singer was Adam Lambert, he loved to draw and so did I. His birthday was June 18th and he was getting out on July 28th, the same day as me. It felt like a sign or something… He had his own flat in Brooklyn, too.

"You used to live in Brooklyn?" I asked incredulously. "I lived near Manhattan; I can't believe we never saw each other."

"I was probably too busy getting in trouble," he said almost sheepishly, grinning down at our joined hands. "Can I ask you a personal question?" he asked seriously, looking into my eyes.

Turning my head so I could see him better, I squeezed his hand and smiled. "Sure."

"Are you a virgin?" he asked so quietly that I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly.

Truth was, I was not a virgin but I _was_ a virgin at the same time. It all depends on how you looked at it. I had had sex with that girl whose name I don't remember (wow that sounds horrible) but that's different than what Magnus was talking about. I had always been the giver not the taker.

So, I simply said no.

"Me either," he muttered. "Sorry, that was kind of a rude thing to ask."

"It's okay," I reassured him, stroking back a piece of his hair and resting my hand on his cheek. "At least you had the guts to ask." He smiled a little and he looked so perfect at that very moment- so beautiful and sweet. I suddenly understood what Magnus meant when he said he couldn't control himself around me as I pressed my lips to his. It was a soft kiss, softer than most of the ones we'd shared, and I felt him smile against my mouth. Magnus was one of the best kissers I had ever met, hands down.

I scooted closer to him and our legs tangled together, making me inwardly sigh at the feeling. His skin against mine made me buzz with a tingling excitement. The fact that we weren't supposed to be kissing made it better- like a forbidden fruit sort of thing. I loved it.

Remembering something I had done before, I grasped a fistful of his hair and gently tugged on it. A moan that could be described as nothing but sexy came from deep in his throat, making his lips vibrate against mine and my heart flutter around.

There was a sudden sharp intake of breath that was too far away to be either me or Magnus but we were too busy 'snogging' to really breathe. Both of our heads shot up and our legs untangled so we could see who was watching us.

It was none other than Ms. Herondale who was fuming beyond belief. She was even angrier than she had been earlier. I didn't think that was humanly possible, but I guess I was oh so wrong. Her face had skipped right over red and went straight to a purple-magenta color that couldn't have been all that healthy.

"Get out," she growled. "I told you once; I'm not going to tell you again. _Out_."

"Ms. Herondale," I started. "It's not his fault-"

"Don't argue with me Alexander!" she almost shouted. "Bane, you have one minute to get out of here or I will make _sure_ you get punished!"

Magnus stood up and rebelliously tipped our empty trays onto the floor before beginning to walk to the door. He stopped short though and made his way back to me with a classic, mischievous grin on his face. I wasn't sure what he was doing until he straddled my hips through the rough bed sheets and grabbed the sides of my face. His lips were suddenly on mine in a fiery kiss with extra amounts of tongue, probably for Ms. Herondale's benefit. He winked at me and walked past an astounded Ms. Herondale.

She called over a guard and made sure he put handcuffs back on Magnus for the rest of the week. She used her words to make it sound like he had done something so terribly horrible that he should be locked in solitary confinement for a month or something. All he did was kiss his boyfriend when he was told not to. Then again, it was a pretty R-rated kiss. And I wasn't going to get another one for two and a half weeks.

* * *

><p>It was pure torture. I had to sit by myself all day, eat cold cheese sandwiches, and be boyfriendless for nearly three weeks. Ms. Herondale was being meaner than usual and stopped giving me painkillers the day Magnus got kicked out so my side was throbbing every time I moved. Instead of making me wear handcuffs, I wasn't getting any medication which seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. It was quite obvious that I was miserable.<p>

The only thing keeping me mildly sane was Isabelle's letters to me. Mail was sent pretty fast in Idris, believe it or not. Almost every other day I had a new letter from her but things weren't getting any better back at home. Jace had gone catatonic and only spoke to his girlfriend Clary, while the woman who claimed that I was her son and said she would love me no matter what was still denying my existence and my 'father' was off on some business trip. I had no idea what the news was with Max but I knew Isabelle was feeling just as bad as I was.

So imagine my surprise when Ms. Herondale decided to let me go three days early because my ribs had healed up faster than she'd thought. I almost squealed like a little girl when she handed me a stack of clean clothes and said a guard was waiting to escort me back to the bunk room. It was past dinner and all of the boys were supposedly getting ready to sleep but I knew better than that.

There wasn't any more pain in my side except for a very dull throbbing that wasn't really painful unless I had a particularly violent sneeze attack, so I dressed as quickly as possible and quietly followed the guard to the bunkroom. I tried my best not to laugh as I realized it was the dude with the sunglasses and he was _still_ wearing them even though it was nighttime and he was inside.

"Try not to get yourself killed while you're in here," he muttered to me as he let me in the large room. I nodded so he knew I understood and he closed the door behind me.

I walked slowly and with my head down, in case Jonathan, Sebastian, or William was lurking around somewhere, just waiting to beat me over the head with a blunt object. A suddenly comical image of William attempting to hit me with a crowbar but getting a piano dropped on him like in Tom and Jerry came to my mind. I don't know why I thought of that, but it was hilarious.

My head snapped up as my name was called and I saw Magnus barreling towards me at full speed with a look of complete surprise and happiness on his face. He swept me into a huge hug and almost lifted me off the ground. So much for not making a scene…

"Easy there," I said, breaking out of his grasp and smiling up at him. "Don't break me; I just healed up."

His smile lit up his entire face, making him seem even more exotic and beautiful. "Sorry," he breathed, grabbing my wrist and walking me to our regular table with Ragnor. "Look who's back."

"Hey, lad," Ragnor said with a grin. "You're all fixed."

"Yeah," I answered, sitting down next to Magnus and feeling his hand slip into mine. I unconsciously blushed but didn't move my hand.

"Magnus tells me that you two got busted for snogging," Ragnor said rather cheekily. I nodded and he cocked his eyebrow exactly like Magnus did.

"Bane!" I guard called from right behind the door, not even caring that everyone was making a bunch of noise. "Mail for you!"

Magnus held up his hands like a football player and hollered, "Toss it over Monty!" Monty did just that and Magnus caught it easily, throwing him a toothy grin. It was a tiny envelope with a messily scribbled address on it and I was awed that the little thing had caught enough air to make it to Magnus. He took out a slightly crinkled photograph and his grin turned into a sad yet adoring smile.

"What is it?" I asked him, leaning to see the picture.

"My kitty," he said softly, tilting the photo so I could see it. The white ball of fluff on the shiny surface rather looked like a furry mouse than a small cat. There was a voluptuous blonde woman holding the small feline and making puppy eyes at the camera as well.

Ragnor came around the back of my chair and leaned over our shoulders to catch a glimpse of the photo. He wolf whistled and nodded appreciatively. "Camille," he whispered. "She's quite the eye catcher."

Magnus scoffed and craned his neck to see his friend. "You only like her for her tits," he pointed out.

"And…?" Ragnor asked, heading back to his seat. "At least I can appreciate the quality of nice tits."

"They're not real."

"They're still nice."

"So," I interjected. "What's your cat's name?"

"Chairman Meow," Magnus answered happily. It sounded totally adorable when he said it with that light accent of his.

"I had a cat back at home," I said. "His name was Church."

"That's original," Ragnor scoffed.

"Shut up," Magnus told him. "I think it's a cute name."

"You think everything Alexander does is cute," he countered.

I turned to Magnus with a small smile. "Do you really?" I asked.

"Yup," Ragnor said before he could answer. "He just about drove me crazy with all of his talk about you. Alec did this, and Alec said that, and Alec is such a great kisser, blah, blah, blah. It gets rather old after a while."

"But he _is_ a good kisser," Magnus said. He faced me. "You _are_ a good kisser."

"I believe you," I assured him, though I still doubted my kissing skills.

"How come you two get to snog all the time and I don't?" Ragnor whined.

"I thought you were bisexual?" I asked.

"Well, I am," he said bluntly. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna try to screw every guy I see. If it did then I would've hopped on both of you already."

Magnus threw an empty pack of cigarettes at him and he caught it easily while I sat there and blushed like a tomato. Ragnor tossed it back at him and grumbled about the lack of cute boys in Idris.

"Excuse me," Magnus said, appalled. "But I see three perfectly attractive boys right here at this table."

"And who might those boys be?" Ragnor asked.

"Alec," he said, pointing to me. "Myself." He pointed to him then back at me. "And Alec again." I kissed his lips in a short, chaste but still amazing kiss.

**A/N- Aw, I kind of like this chapter. Sorry about the weird endings lately, I just lack the ability to end a chapter right. Whatevs… Ya'll should review because I really want to get to one hundred reviews! That would make my day and my one hundredth reviewer gets a special shout-out from me and all of you get a longer chapter! I promise, but I have to get to one hundred reviews first!  
>-Ella :D<strong>


	9. Things Are Looking Up, Oh Finally

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews. Sorry if this is not such a good chapter. My dog just died. :( But I promised you all a super long, amazing chapter, so here it is. Originally it was chapter nine and ten, so I just smashed them together. Oh, by the way, do you guys remember my story Changes? Well, I just posted a sequel for it :D Oh yes, a sequel. It's called Somewhere Only We Know. Read it. Read it now. And review. Review now.  
>P.S. – Thank you to SushiSasha244 for being my 100<strong>**th**** reviewer. I can't answer your question because it would ruin the entire story, sorry :(  
>Disclaimer- the usual.<strong>

Ragnor pouted about being left out of the 'cute boy circle' while Magnus cooed about his favorite little feline, Chairman Meow. I learned a lot about Chairman Meow that day, more than I would've liked to know about a cat. His favorite color was the same as Magnus' because when they first moved in Meow actually caught a Canary and brought it to Magnus.

After that, I didn't have the heart to tell Magnus that I didn't care, so I just nodded my head and smiled for a while until the same guard that gave Magnus his mail called me over to hand me an envelope from Izzy. Monty seemed pretty irritated because he was practically a delivery boy for the delinquents so I said thank you twice.

"Who's that from?" Ragnor asked, eyeing my letter.

"It's my sister, Isabelle."

"Oh really?" he asked, his eyebrows going up. "Well, if she looks anything like you I might have to ask for a picture." I gave him my brotherly death glare that I gave any guy who said something about my sister. "Never mind," he muttered.

I ripped open the envelope and unfolded her neatly written letter. Surprisingly, it was happy.

_Alec!_

_Guess what? Simon fricking Lewis fricking asked me to fricking Homecoming the fricking day _of_ Homecoming! Can you believe it? He was so nervous and so adorable and sorry for being overly girly, but I'm just so happy! Things are finally looking up! Jace is talking to me again, but neither one of us will talk to mom or dad. That's not much of a change though, because we hardly talked to them anyways. _

_Homecoming was great and I got this really sexy, I mean pretty black dress and Simon gave me a corsage that totally brought out my eyes. This cute little band played and Jace actually smiled. I know dances aren't exactly your thing because you're super anti-social (no offense) but I wanted to tell you so you knew that it's not all bad back at home. _

_I tell Max you love and miss him every day. Jace replaced the flowers. _

_Magnus sounds like the best friend I always wanted. I mean, Clary is nice and all but she doesn't know jack shit about fashion. Really, she doesn't. Make sure Magnus is good to you because I got a letter in the mail the other day about meeting sessions with the so-called 'delinquents' of Idris and I want to meet this kid. _

_Did you know about the meeting sessions? Because I sure as hell didn't. It's in a week or something and I'm excited to see you again. I miss you so much! Maybe Jace will come with me! You've gotta be eighteen to visit, can I pass as eighteen?_

_Love you bro!  
>-Izzy<em>

_P.S. – I put a picture of when we went to Homecoming so you can see how happy Jace is. Hope you like it._

I was smiling by the end of reading her letter and I pulled out the picture she attached. It was Simon with his arm around her, standing next to Jace and Clary, all of them wearing genuinely happy smiles. Izzy's 'pretty' black dress was very revealing compared to Clary's, but she was happy so I didn't let it bother me. I knew Simon Lewis, he was a good kid.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy that my siblings were happy, but it kind of hurt to know that their lives were still going on while I was trapped inside of Idris, wasting away as a juvenile delinquent. It was hard enough just being there; knowing that the world was still turning without me made it worse.

"What's that?" Magnus asked, putting his chin on my shoulder to see the Homecoming picture I was holding. He gasped right in my ear and the feeling of his warm breath against my skin made me shiver. "_Where_ did that girl get those designer boots?"

"What girl?" Ragnor asked, yanking the picture from my hand. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped open a little. "Holy fuck, this girl is smoking hot! Tell me the ginger is your sis and not the raven-haired one."

I almost had to pry the photo from his hands and I shook my head at him. "Sorry, the hot one's my sister," I said. "And she's got a boyfriend along with two very protective older brothers."

"Oh. Gotcha," Ragnor muttered.

"You'll probably meet her anyways. She said there's going to be a meeting session in a few days or something like that," I said. "How often do those happen?"

Magnus drooled over the boots in the picture again while telling me that they only happen a few times a year, depending on how well the boys act. Whoever wants to see the boys of Idris have to fill out the form that comes with the letter and when the meeting day comes, guards file all of the boys who had people meeting them in the cafeteria for about an hour after dinner. It's extremely precise and careful, so if any of the boys step out of line the next meeting session is pushed farther away.

"We only have an hour?" I asked when he was finished, taking my photo back and putting it back in the envelope with the letter.

"It used to only be thirty minutes," Magnus said. "But we've been acting better for a while so they gave us more time. Tell her to put my name and Ragnor's name on the form, too. I want to meet this chick. Oh, and make sure you ask her where she got those boots!"

"I will," I said, getting up and carrying the letter back to my bunk. Underneath my mattress were all of her letters and I added the new one to the growing pile, grabbing a new sheet of paper and my usual pencil as I left.

The letter I wrote back to her was short and simple. It was mostly me saying that I was glad things were getting better. I told her that if Simon hurt her, I would kill him once I got back and then I gave her very clear directions on filling out the form so she could see Ragnor, Magnus, and I.

"Ask her where she got her boots!" Magnus exclaimed.

"Simmer down," I soothed. "You'll get a chance to ask her when you meet her next week."

"Oh yeah."

I finished my letter and folded it up, stuffing it in my empty pants pocket until I could mail it the next day. I would've asked Monty to mail it right then, but he was already pissed off and I figured he'd just throw it away. Of all of my letters to Izzy, the one in my pocket was probably the most important.

"Which one was your sister's boyfriend again?" Ragnor asked quietly, referring to the picture.

"The one with the glasses," I answered.

He grinned. "Oh."

On any other occasion, I would've said he wasn't her type but he was exactly her type. Isabelle liked bad boys and how worse got Ragnor get? He was in a juvenile prison. That fact made him the most perfect guy for her and the most unavailable guy for her. Life was so unfair.

"I'm going to sleep," I announced, standing up from the table.

"Why?" Magnus asked sadly. "It's early."

"I'm tired." Before I got a chance to walk over to the comforts of my bunk, Magnus grabbed my wrist and pulled me down for a very passionate kiss that made my eyes widen and my heart try to jump out of my chest.

"Goodnight," he whispered in my ear.

"Goodnight," I somewhat squeaked, but in a sexy way. It was a sexy squeak. Yeah, let's go with that.

Halfway through the night, after all of the boys had actually gone to sleep, I felt a tugging at my blankets and cracked open an eye to see Magnus standing next to my bed with an innocent little smile on his face.

"Hi," he whispered.

"No offense, Mag," I started with a yawn. "But what do you want?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

Both of my eyes shot open and I took a long look at him. "What?"

"It's cold all alone up there, in my little bed," he whined.

I lifted up the covers and he happily slipped into bed with me. The bunk beds were made for two people, yes, but the actual mattresses themselves probably couldn't fit one fat guy. Magnus damn near pushed me off the bed with his butt.

"Magnus, these beds can't fit two grown teenagers," I muttered into his ear.

He flipped around to face me and his innocent smile turned into a devious one. "That's because we're not close enough." His arms went around my waist and pulled me closer to him so our legs tangled together. My heart sped up so fast that I'm sure he could feel it against his chest.

"Won't we get in trouble?" I asked quietly. I could hardly hear myself over the sounds of the snoring of a prison filled with boys.

"Nope," he whispered, nuzzling his nose into my neck. I had to clear my throat to stop the moan trying to escape from it, but it kind of came out as a strangled breath rather than a throat clear. "I'm pretty tight with the guards," Magnus continued. "They won't care."

"Oh," I muttered. When he kissed the tender skin in the crook of my neck I audibly gasped and clutched at the fabric around his torso. "_Oh._"

"One day, I'm gonna make you say that over, and over, and over again," he said provocatively, kissing me with each 'over.' "Until you're _screaming_ it."

His lips were much too far away from mine so I grabbed his chin and kissed him fiercely, twining my fingers into his long hair. God, I loved his hair. And that sound he made when I tugged on it.

Magnus suddenly rolled so he was on top of me and grinned. His hair slid across his shoulders and casted shadows on his face, accentuating the gleam in his eyes and making him look almost… demonic. It was unbelievably sexy.

I fisted the fabric of his shirt collar in my hands and pulled him down to me, slamming out lips together. His tongue snaked into my mouth and he tasted like something citrusy mixed with a faint taste of cigarettes. Usually, cigarette breath would be a turn off, but with Magnus everything was hot.

His kissing skills were extraordinarily fantastic. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it and when to do it. I was putty in his hands, whimpering, writhing putty. If this was what it was like just _kissing _him then I couldn't imagine what it would be like to do more.

Of course, I didn't know when or if we would ever be able to do something more. We were stuck in a juvenile hall where the only private place to go to would be the bathroom. Well, it _was_ a soundproof bathroom, so that was definitely a possibility. But what would happen to us after we got out?

My thoughts were interrupted by Magnus nipping at the sensitive skin behind my ear. That certain spot always made me all hot and bothered. I wondered how he found it so fast.

"Oh, is this your button?" he asked, licking the spot again.

"Y-yes," I muttered, pushing his mouth against my skin again. "Where's yours?"

"You're gonna have to find it," he whispered in my ear. Something randomly thumped against Magnus' back and he fell onto the floor. It was a shoe.

"For Christ's sake," Ragnor called from his top bunk next to us. "Stop trying to screw each other and go the fuck to sleep!"

Magnus laughed as he got off the floor and tossed the shoe back at Ragnor. He crawled back into my bed with me and snuggled into my arms.

"Whoa, hey, is that a pencil in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" he whispered, probably grinning from ear to ear though I couldn't see his face.

"Shut up," I said, slapping his arm.

He turned around to face me and got serious all of a sudden. We were so close to each other, I could feel that he was just as hard as I was.

"You drive me _crazy_," he muttered. The last thing he did was peck my lips before flipping back around and leaving me there to wonder what he meant.

* * *

><p>After three weeks of sitting around on your ass with broken ribs, being thrown back into the routine of running seventy thousand million miles, completing obstacle courses, and doing backbreaking labor can really take a toll on you.<p>

It was the beginning of September so it was starting to cool off a little, but that didn't help my calloused hands and fingers heal any faster from gripping a wooden shovel all day. The fucking guards made us _dig holes all day long_. They weren't going to bury anything in these holes, they just made us dig for the sole purpose of saying that they could.

By the end of the day, I was sitting on the bleachers in the yard with Magnus, nearly sniffling at the pain in my body. It was nothing compared to the pain of my broken ribs (which were still a little sore, by the way) but it was still painful.

When the guards called us back in, Magnus began to walk down the last few bleachers and looked at me when I didn't get up.

"Come on, Alexander," Magnus cooed. "Time to go."

I lifted my arms up and stuck out my bottom lip. "Carry me," I whined. He stood me up and turned around so I could climb onto his back like a three year old. "You're the best boyfriend ever," I muttered.

"I know," he said. "I know."

* * *

><p>When the meeting session day came, all of the guards filed us into the cafeteria, leaving the boys who didn't have a meeting scheduled in the bunk room which was also surrounded by guards.<p>

Isabelle was easy to spot in the crowd. She was tall and had midnight black hair that fell to her waist, sweeping down her back in a long black curtain. The blonde haired boy next to her was Jace, looking around with an irritated expression.

The boys who were meeting people were seated at the lunch tables, a few seats apart for each group. Izzy immediately ran over to me and gave me a huge bear hug while Jace stood there and sneered.

We all sat back down and I introduced Izzy and Jace to Magnus and Ragnor. Izzy and Magnus hit it off at once, starting with him asking her about her designer boots. Ragnor sat there ogling her until he decided to speak up.

"So, I'm getting out of here in January," he started, placing his chin on his hands. "Maybe we can hang out sometime."

"I've got a boyfriend," she stated simply.

"I'm bisexual."

"Keep talking."

"Izzy!" Jace and I exclaimed.

"Sorry, sorry," she muttered.

Jace eyed me eyeing Magnus as Isabelle and my boyfriend continued to talk about fashion.

"Alec," he said quietly, getting my attention. "Max is out of the hospital."

"What? How is he doing?" I said quickly.

"Fine, but his burns are still hurting him."

"I miss him," I muttered. "Does he know that it wasn't me?"

"I've told him," Jace answered. "But I hardly believe it myself so it's hard to tell if he does."

"Why don't you believe me?" I asked incredulously. "I would never purposely try to hurt my little brother!"

"There was no one else in that store, Alec," he growled. "Who else could have done it?"

"I don't know! But it wasn't me!"

"It's not important now," he said, not meeting my eye. "I want to talk to you about something else."

"What?"

"When you get out of here," he started. "Where are you going to go?"

The question stopped me short and I became very interested in my combat boots. One of my laces was untied but I didn't have the energy to bend down and tie them.

"I don't know, Jace," I almost whispered. "I might get my own apartment or something, find a job, but I'm not going back to Mom and Dad; not after what they did."

"I understand," he muttered. "They still won't talk about you."

"Don't remind me." I felt a hand slip into mine and saw Magnus give me a small smile. He playfully hit my shoulder with his and I hit it back.

"This is so weird," Jace said, louder this time. "My adoptive older brother is in a juvenile delinquent center, holding hands with another juvenile delinquent and being perfectly okay with it."

The mood of the conversation lightened a bit as Magnus smirked at Jace and both of their eyes were twinkling. "You secretly like it, too," he said.

"Yeah, sure," Jace answered, grinning like his old self.

The last half hour of the meeting session was happier, if you could call it that. Izzy and Magnus were talking nonstop about this fashion designer, and that reality show, and this brand of makeup. Ragnor was staring at her, and I swear a little drool fell down his chin at some point. Hell, most of the guys there were staring at Izzy. It was always like that with her… she was definitely one of a kind.

Jace and I had moved on to another topic completely- me and Magnus. Well, mostly just Magnus. Jace was convinced that his accent was Japanese but I told him that if you compared it to Ragnor's it sounded British. I promised that as soon as I found out I would tell him.

"It's nice to hear you gush about someone for a change," Jace mused. "You never talked this way about Sharon."

_Sharon!_ _That_ was her name! I felt awful for not remembering her name, 'her' being the girl I had lost my virginity to, but it didn't make much of a difference to me. We were doomed from the start. A (closeted) gay guy and a bitch would never make it as a couple. Did I forget to mention that before? Yeah, she was a _total_ bitch. Ugh.

Much too soon, the burly guards made us say goodbye and me, Izzy, and Magnus all just started crying. Izzy was flat-out sobbing with Magnus and I was trying to keep it in for Jace's sake but it didn't exactly work.

By the time all of the visitors had gone and the boys were filed back into the bunk room to get ready for bed, I wasn't feeling very positive after my siblings left and my two fellow delinquents tried to cheer me up by letting me win in poker. I got one and a half packs of cigarettes along with five pieces of bubble gum. Being a non-smoker, I offered one of the cigarettes to Magnus but he politely declined.

"No thanks," he said with a teeny smile. "I'm trying to quit." He took a piece of gum instead and I handed the cigarette to Ragnor, who took it happily.

"Why are you trying to quit?" I asked Magnus as Rag lit up.

He answered with one simple word that made me blush and do a mental happy dance at the same time, "You."

**A/N- I love Magnus. Really, I do. Please please please please please review! I tried to make this longer than usual (I failed) but at least I gave you some Malecy scenes! And now you know more about what happened to Max! If you're still confused, it will be revealed sooner rather than later, so give me your thoughts on that! Again, read mine and Bee's new sequel to Changes 'Somewhere Only We Know.' And XxHushXxHushXx (I don't think I did that right…) gave me the little idea to do the meet and greet thingy. So thank you!  
>REVIEW!<br>-Ella**


	10. By The Way, I Love You

**A/N- Aw, your reviews were the best ever! :) I'm so happy. Thank you so very, very, very much! Here's chapter ten!  
>Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments series, Cassandra Clare does. *bows down*<strong>

After Magnus made his comment about quitting smoking, Ragnor went around the bunk room in search of a cute boy to get with. He said he was in desperate need of a piece of ass but I thought he was just trying to get Isabelle out of his head by drowning in a sea of boys. There was a very attractive boy standing by himself in the corner and Ragnor immediately drifted towards him, moving with a confident aura surrounding him. I couldn't blame him for choosing that boy; he was definitely hot… but he was nothing compared to Magnus.

Me and my boyfriend (I _love_ using that word) were lying in my bed together, holding hands and staring at the bottom of his mattress above us. I imagined we were in my room back home, looking at my ceiling instead.

We were completely still and quiet, except with a peck or two every once in a while. I had no idea how long we had been there; whenever I was with Magnus time just seemed to fly by. From the two windows in the room, I could see that the sun had just set so I figured it was about half past seven.

Magnus stared at me for a minute or two before saying my name to get my attention away from the top bunk.

"Hm?" I muttered, lazily turning my head towards him.

"Can I tell you something personal?" he asked, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. I nodded and he bit his lip, sighing softly. "I have uhm… been with a lot of people in my life -boys and girls- but with you it feels different, good different."

Call me crazy, but from the angle my head was at I could see Magnus' cheek perfectly, and it was pink. Magnus freaking Bane was _blushing_. It wasn't nearly as deep as I blushed, probably because his skin was tanner than mine, but he was definitely blushing.

"Different how?" I asked, not commenting on his blushing until I found out the reason behind it.

"You're not like any of the people I've met before. You're so much better than all of them," he said. There was a lot of spacing in between his words and I could tell he was struggling to get his sentence out right. "I find it hard to believe," he continued. "That you even like me. You actually care about a delinquent like me and I think that's a first. After my parents… d-died, I didn't think anyone would ever care about me like they did and you do now. It's a good feeling, knowing that I have someone to care about me."

His little speech had me blushing, too. It was kind of like a contradiction, being deep and heartfelt in the middle of Idris. Speeches like that belonged back in my bedroom or his apartment or a quiet park, not a place designed to punish bad kids.

"I know exactly what you mean," I said, smiling up at his blushing form. "But it's more than just me caring about you… I really, really like you, Magnus."

"I really, really like you, too," he answered honestly, blushing deeper.

"Why are you so embarrassed?" I asked softly. It couldn't have been because people were watching; everyone else was doing their own things and we were being very quiet.

"I feel like such a teenage girl," he said, gripping my hand harder. "I can't get you out of my head. Even when we're asleep and I know you're either right next to me or in the bed below me, I want to be closer to you. We've only known each other for three months and I…" He paused, leaving me hanging there in anticipation.

"You…?"

"I have fallen completely head over designer heels for you," he finished.

His eyes were carefully watching me as his words sunk in. I thought he had just told me he was in love with me and I was actually thrilled by the idea. I wasn't sure how to respond with words, though, so I used my body instead. Our hands were already intertwined so I brought them up to my chest and smiled at him.

"You have no idea how happy you just made me," I whispered, leaning into him. The kiss we shared said more than anything Magnus or I could've expressed with words. It said 'I'm glad I met you,' it said 'You're the only good thing in this place,' it said 'I love you.' The only thing left to do was say it all out loud, but I had no idea if I would be able to do that.

"Alexander," Magnus said against my lips, pulling back ever so slightly. "I've never told anyone this," he started, looking right into my eyes. "But I think I love you." His own green and gold eyes sparkled when he said this and their feline qualities melted away to reveal something much softer.

My heart stopped and filled with immense joy at the same time. "I love you, too."

And just like that the moment was over. No crying, no drama, no nothing. It was short, sweet, and to the point. That's how I always went through life, simple and easy…. at least, I tried to do that. Sometimes that didn't happen.

"It's weird," Magnus said after a moment. "I'm still in Idris and yet I feel like today's Christmas or something."

"Me, too," I muttered, scooting closer to him so our hips were touching. My cheeks were starting to physically hurt from smiling so much but I didn't care. "Hey Magnus?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

After that, things just seemed to get better and better. William, Sebastian, and Jonathan hadn't bothered me in months which sort of scared me but I decided to disregard it and get on with my life at Idris. Magnus and I were closer than ever, completely inseparable. Every moment of the day we were holding hands or sitting next to each other or looking at each other. We were always connected somehow and I couldn't have been happier.

Izzy's letters to me were getting more positive with Max back at home, though my parents were still denying my existence. And on Christmas day, Izzy said she had gotten me the new My Chemical Romance album and wrapped it up and put my name on it and everything, but my parents _threw it away_. I didn't let it get to me; it's not like I was ever going to see them again. After I got out of Idris I was going to get my own place away from them. Jace was also talking more and acting like himself. The whole situation had died down almost completely by January.

That was when it was time for Ragnor to go home. A big group of boys were going home on the same day, Jonathan being one of them. It was quite obvious that Magnus and I were very happy about that. The threesome of evil guys was down one person and that made them weaker so I hoped with everything I had that they wouldn't touch me again.

Magnus, Ragnor, and I were sitting at our usual table the day before he had to go, joking around about all of the good times we'd had in the six months he was there.

"Lad, you never told me why you were in here," Ragnor mused, his lips around a newly lit cigarette. "All you said was 'I'm innocent, I'm innocent!'"

"That's because I _am_ innocent," I stated.

"Well something had to happen for you to get here," Magnus said, tightening his hold around my waist. I was currently sitting on his lap and he wasn't letting me go anytime soon.

"Why do I need to tell you if I didn't do it?" I questioned.

"Because it's something I need to know before I get out of here," Ragnor said seriously. "I'm a very curious person, Alec."

I sighed. "Alright, fine."

"Yes," Ragnor whispered, high-fiving with Magnus. They both leaned in like anxious children waiting to hear their parents tell a story.

"It was on a Saturday night in June and I was driving my brother home from a friend's home," I started, not really wanting to relive the memory. "He kept complaining about being hungry so I stopped at one of the convenience store nearby so I could get him a snack. We went inside and the storeowner was really nice and I bought Max a candy bar. Then out of nowhere this fire starts near the back room and takes over nearly the entire store. The owner was yelling at me to get out but I couldn't find Max anywhere. I thought he had gone back to the car so I followed the owner outside but he wasn't there. He was still in the store and I could hear him calling my name but the stupid owner wouldn't let me go back in so he called the fire department. They got him out and thank goodness he was alive but uhm… he was burned really badly and the owner thought I had done it…" My throat felt tight and my downcast eyes were burning. The mood had gone sour and Magnus rubbed my back affectionately.

"Did they ever find the guy who did it?" Ragnor asked softly.

"No," I muttered. "They're all convinced it was me."

"My poor baby," Magnus cooed, though he seemed shaky after hearing my story. "At least Max is okay now, right?"

"Yeah… and if that hadn't happened then I would've never met you," I said. I bent down to kiss him and heard Ragnor groan.

"I love you both like brothers," Ragnor said. "But I'm not going to miss seeing you two kiss each other every goddamn second of the day."

"And we're not going to miss hearing you complain all the time," Magnus answered.

He was kind of wrong. The day after Ragnor left, Magnus and I were both pretty sad, Magnus especially. He had been acting weird ever since I told him what happened to Max, but I waited to ask him about it until after we took a shower.

We always took the shower stalls right across from each other so we could talk. Like I said before, there were half-walls all over the place so we were covered up enough to not make it awkward. Magnus wasn't talking to me though; he was just standing there not looking me in the eye.

I was about to ask what was wrong with him when something hard hit me on the side of the head, nearly making me fall over. Grasping the side of the half-wall I was in, I turned to see Sebastian and William grinning evilly at me. The thing that they threw at me was a bar of soap and it was lying on the floor next to my feet. I sighed and picked it up, tossing it aimlessly into the empty stall next to me.

"And so the tormenting begins again," I muttered to Magnus.

He gave me a small, sad smile and shut his water off. "Meet me in the bunk room," he said. "I need to talk to you." Before I had a chance to ask him what he meant, he was out the bathroom door.

I showered quickly and got dressed in my usual clothes that were in desperate need of a wash. The damn guards had us shoveling snow with the same shovels we used to dig holes back in September. The mixture of leftover dirt and snow made for quite a messy job.

On my way out, Sebastian stopped right in front of the door, blocking my way to the bunk room. Thankfully he was fully clothed, but my heart still plummeted down into my stomach when I saw his face. If I looked close enough, I could see that there was something slightly off in his expression, especially his eyes. There was a crazy glint to them, not unlike the one I had seen in Jonathan's eyes when he was beating me up, but Sebastian's were scarier.

"Hey there, Lightwood," he said weirdly. "Did you like my little present to you?"

"Yeah that bar of soap was real special," I muttered, trying to push past him. He caught my wrist and gripped it hard enough to leave his handprint there.

"That's not what I meant," he whispered.

"Let go of me," I growled, trying not to cry or make a seen. He was freaking me out. The crazy bastard flung my wrist back at me and walked to his bunk bed.

I took a deep breath before walking up to the table Magnus was sitting at. It seemed oddly lonely without Ragnor there.

"Hullo, love," he said softly, his accent (which I had yet to figure out, by the way) sounding thicker than usual.

"Hey," I answered, taking the seat next to him.

"Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head slightly. "What did you want to talk about?"

He took my hands and sighed, still not really looking at me. "It's about what happened to Max," he said quietly.

"You _know_ I didn't do it," I said quickly.

"I know, I know." His cat-like eyes met mine and the sadness in them made me scared for what he was going to say next. "Because I'm the one who set that fire."

**A/N- Review ;)  
>-Ella<strong>


	11. I Can't Believe This

**A/N- Your reviews make my life worthwhile, which is weird because I have no life... I'm secretly a vampire, right Jess? Speaking of Jess, for those of you who have read Lost & Found and really want an update, Jess is extremely sorry for not getting chapter three up. She doesn't have any computer access right now. And let me clear some things up, Magnus escaped at 17, did a bunch of bad stuff for like a few weeks, set the fire, got caught right before he was eighteen, and has to stay in Idris until July which is a month after his 19****th**** birthday, got it?  
>Wait, quick WARNING: May I remind you that this fic is rated M for a REASON.<br>Disclaimer- I only own the plot and the drama. **

"_What_?" I exclaimed, dropping his hands like they were on fire. Ha, on fire. I bet I would've giggled at that had I not been so mad at him. "You tried to kill me?"

"No, no," Magnus said, grabbing for my hands again. I kept them out of his reach. "Let me explain," he pleaded.

"Explain? What is there to _explain_? You tried to kill me and a nine year old boy!" I almost shouted.

"I never tried to-"

Magnus was interrupted by Monty calling all of the boys into the cafeteria. We angrily got into line, not having a chance to bicker unless we wanted to get into major trouble. I was so furious with him for not telling me about it sooner. He probably knew that there were people in the store and he set it on fire anyways. Why, of all of the people on this stupid planet, did _Magnus Bane_ have to be the one to do it? Why the love of my life? How was that fair?

Breakfast was super awkward and I sat at the opposite end of the table from Magnus, all by myself, trying not to cry like a baby. Sebastian had scared the shit out of me that morning and then Magnus tells me he damn near killed my brother! I didn't even have Ragnor to talk to. I was completely and utterly alone.

The rest of the day was extra painful. There was a lot more snow on the ground and they made us shovel all of it out of the yard. On top of that, it was _freezing_ outside. My hands were numb and weak and the break for lunch was a lot shorter than usual for some reason. After lunch, more shoveling ensued and I began to get blisters all over my fingers. My first thought was to talk to Magnus and see if there was something he could do about it, but I remembered what he did to me and the thought hit me harder than when I first found out. I nearly broke down right then in there, in the middle of the yard, covered in snow and sadness, but I managed to keep myself generally together until after dinner.

Magnus tried to talk to me numerous times throughout the day, but I avoided him at all costs. He was the one who got me into Idris in the first place, he was the one who tried to kill me and my brother, and _he _was the one who broke my heart… Well, in retrospect, I didn't give him a chance to explain at all, I just blew up and then didn't talk to him. My unfairness was the last thing on my mind though. I was too busy being angry and depressed to really think straight. Hell, I couldn't do anything straight.

After dinner, I hogged the bathroom in order to avoid Magnus and (although I would never admit this if someone asked me) I cried my eyes out like the teenage girl I know I can be. Out of every single person on planet Earth, the very _last _person I would've ever suspected as being the one to pretty much ruin my life would be Magnus.

I wondered if he knew that I had even been in the store at all. Maybe he didn't know anyone was in there and he just really needed to set something on fire. Maybe the fire itself was an accident. Maybe something else happened and he really didn't mean to do it. All of the possibilities in my head were overwhelming and I stood up a little too fast, making myself kind of dizzy, but I wiped away my tears and practically ran to the bathroom door. Someone was already opening it from the other side and when I saw his hair I thought it was Magnus for a split second, but I had come face to face with none other than Sebastian.

"There you are," he said over-cheerily. There were definitely some screws missing in his head. "I was looking for you." He shut and locked the door behind him, causing me to almost throw up out of fear.

"What do you want from me?" I stuttered, backing up until I hit the opposite wall.

Sebastian grinned maniacally and strolled toward me like he was taking a walk through the park. "Oh, I don't want anything _from _you," he said. "I simply want _you_."

"What?" I half whispered half yelled. He was standing so close to me that I could feel his breath on my neck. Cold fingers touched the revealed skin above my belt and I shuddered at his touch. It wasn't in the way I shuddered when Magnus touched me, no it was much different. I was so scared that I was shivering and the room seemed to have dropped ten degrees since he got there.

When his cold hands moved to my belt, it took me a minute to actually move, I was so scared, but I did somehow move my joints and barely pushed his hands away from me. I was too late; he had already undone my belt and the button on my pants. The creep just smiled at me and I couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

A weak and measly "Stop" came from my lips but my voice cracked halfway through the one syllable word and my breathing had almost ceased, except for a few random bursts of air every couple of seconds. "Stop it," I said louder.

He stepped back a fraction of an inch and his demented grin grew wider as he saw my face and my undone belt. "Are you going to play hard to get now?" he asked quietly. "Because I can do so much worse." Before I knew what was happening, he put his lips to mine and practically shoved his tongue down my throat. I pushed him away from me and he stumbled backwards but quickly regained his balance.

"Stop!" I shouted, trying to get to the door. My wrist was grabbed and I was roughly thrown against the wall, getting the air knocked out of me. His lips were back on mine and I used my fists to try and pound him away from me.

"Your hands are going to be a problem," he whispered in my ear, his breath just as cold as his fingers. Then from out of nowhere he's holding a pair of handcuffs. "Good thing I got these off a new kid."

"What-" My question hung in the air when he slapped me across the face and I fell onto the floor, hitting my head on the wall. Sebastian handcuffed my wrists through the leg of a bathroom stall so I couldn't even move them. I tried in vain to get them free but every time I tugged on them, the metal scraped against my wrists and I was reminded of my first day in Idris… The first time I met Magnus.

"That's better," he breathed, standing over me to admire his work. His head tilted curiously to the side and he suddenly yanked down my pants and boxers, leaving me cold and exposed. I felt like I was suffocating when he pulled his down as well and straddled my hips. I knew what was coming next but refused to believe it. My eyes kept drifting towards the door, hoping, praying, someone would come in and see what was happening and stop it, but the door was locked and it wasn't like anyone could hear. What really shocked me was that Magnus hadn't come looking for me yet. He probably knew I was hiding in the bathroom but was trying to give me some space, some time to think, like the good boyfriend he was. I wished he was there.

I cried out in pain as Sebastian pushed himself inside me, no gentleness in his urgency. It was the worst pain I ever had to endure in my life. It was worse than the brutal everyday routine of Idris, it was worse than having broken ribs, it was the worst pain I had ever felt because it would affect my life for years after and I could do nothing about it.

Tears were streaming down my face in a never ending waterfall but I refused to let any more sound escape my lips. I was biting my bottom lip so hard I started to taste blood and my wrists were burning. Sebastian would only like it more if he heard me cry out again, he was already making noises of pleasure as he went harder and faster, like I was his play toy. In a way, I guess I was; he was doing what he wanted to me while I just lied there in agony, not having enough strength to get him off of me. He just kept pounding into me, over, and over, and over again, causing the top of my head to crash into the leg of the stall I was handcuffed to.

I kept wondering what I did wrong, why something like that would happen to me. My first thought was that it was a punishment for being gay, that being gay was horrible. But Magnus always told me there was nothing wrong with being gay at all, that I was a beautiful person no matter what, and that I should always love myself. But I couldn't figure out why my body was being invaded like it was.

My eyes slid over to the door again right as Sebastian finished, forcefully shooting off inside me. He stood up and put his clothes back on as I saw that the doorknob was turning side to side and then the door itself slid open, revealing Magnus. The light of the bunkroom behind him made him look like an angel, coming to save me, holding a bobby pin that I assumed he had used to unlock the door. His expression turned to one of immense disgust and horror when he saw the scene before him.

The heavy bathroom door swung shut behind Magnus and he ran over to Sebastian, slamming his cheek against the wall and holding his hands behind his back.

"What did you do to him?" Magnus yelled in his face. "You rape him?"

The word made me cringe from my position on the floor, though I was highly aware of what had just happened.

Sebastian just smiled like a maniac and eyed Magnus. "The little faggot liked it," he slurred. He didn't have a chance to say anything else, Magnus whipped him around and punched him right in the jaw, picking him up by his hair when he almost fell to the ground.

"Get out of here," he growled, shoving Sebastian out the door. "I'll deal with you later." He slammed the door and stumbled over to me, sliding to his knees when he got there. Magnus saved the last ounce of my dignity by pulling my pants up for me. "Can you sit up?" he asked gently, his voice taking on a completely different tone.

"My hands," I said hoarsely.

"Oh." He picked up his discarded bobby pin from near the wall and used it to undo the cuffs. Sitting up proved to be a harder task and I was still in so much pain. My tears had yet to cease as well.

After I sat up, Magnus cradled my abused body against his and stroked my hair back. I cried harder and clutched his shirt.

"It's okay now, baby," he soothed, kissing my forehead and rocking me back and forth. "It's over now." His voice was just as hoarse as mine and I could tell he was crying, too.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed into his shirt, barely getting words out of my mouth. "I should've… let you explain. Then none of this… would've happened."

"No, love, don't say that," he answered. "Don't blame this on yourself. There's nothing you could've done."

"But I-"

"Shhh," he said. "Stop it. I feel horrible about all of this. I pretty much got you into Idris, I should have never messed with that stupid surveillance camera and then the wires and you just got…"

"Please don't say it," I pleaded, though I wasn't sure what he had been babbling about before that.

"Sorry baby," he muttered into my hair. "Do you want me to take you to Nurse Herondale?"

"What will she be able to do?" I murmured.

"She can give you a private place to sleep," he said, kneeling in front of me so I could see his face. "And I bet she could give you some painkillers."

"I don't think anything can help the pain…" I started. "But I'll go if you come with me."

"Alright, come on," he said, holding out his hands. I took them and he hauled me up, causing the pain in between my legs to sear. Making a noise of more than just discomfort, I felt my legs turn to jelly and Magnus quickly caught me in his arms when I stumbled.

"Can you walk?" he asked softly.

"I think so," I muttered, making sure his hand didn't leave mine. He carefully guided me to the door and opened it, walking with me swiftly through the bunk room, but going slow enough that I could keep up.

What happened next is sort of a blur. I remember us being almost to the door the guards were behind when Magnus' hand slid out of mine and he stormed off to a corner somewhere. Sebastian was standing there, looking particularly satisfied with himself, when Magnus tossed him into a table like a ragdoll. Sebastian still had that crazed look in his eyes when he tried to get up.

"Magnus, what the fuck?" William yelled, helping Sebastian up. Magnus didn't answer, only grabbed my hand and walked through the door to the hallway.

"Where do you think you're going?" Monty asked, stopping Magnus and I from continuing down the hallway.

"Can I take Alec to the nurse?" he asked sweetly, making his eyes extra big. "He's horribly ill."

"He doesn't look like it," Monty said skeptically. "But I guess you can take him. I'll need to escort you." He lead the way down the hall, a bit too fast for my body, brought us to Nurse Herondale and then left.

"Hello," she said, walking towards us. "What is it that you need? I'm busy." From what I saw, she had been watching soap operas on a mini TV that sat on her desk.

"Alexander is sick," Magnus said, gesturing to me.

"Have him lay down, I'll be right there," she said. Magnus did just that while Ms. Herondale went and turned off her mini TV, coming back to us with a thermometer in her hand. She stuck it in my mouth before I could say otherwise and took it out when it beeped. "His temperature is normal," she said, glancing at Magnus. "Is there anything wrong with him at all? Because if you're wasting my time, young man, I will-"

"Ms. Herondale," Magnus interrupted, taking her elbow and guiding her away from me. The room was quiet enough that I could still hear them, though, and she was peeved that he had grabbed her elbow like that.

"Listen," he said softly, catching her eye. "Alexander isn't sick, he-"

"Well them why did you bring him here?" she asked. "What are you trying to pull, Bane?"

"Please just listen to me," Magnus started again. "He isn't sick but he uhm…"

"Spit it out."

"Alexander was just raped."

"That is a very serious accusation, Bane," Ms. Herondale said.

"_I saw it happen_!" he growled, making her jump a little. "Can you please just give him medicine for the pain and something to help him sleep?"

"Of course," she said, regaining her composure. "But who was the one who did it? This is very, very serious. The young man who did it could be sent to federal prison, did you know that?" From where I was, her face reminded me of my mother's when she got protective of me. It seemed like her maternal instincts were coming out.

"Can we discuss this tomorrow?" he asked. "He really needs to sleep right now."

"Yes, I think I have something for him," she said, flitting away to one of the many medicine cabinets in the room.

Magnus sighed and walked back over to me, pulling a chair up to my bed and leaning over to kiss my cheek. "I'm so sorry this happened to you," he muttered. "I wish I could've gotten there sooner, I just didn't realize where you were until it was over."

"It's alright," I said weakly, reaching for his hand. "If it weren't for you, I'd probably still be in there. My knight in shining armor."

"More like combat boots," Magnus said. He gave me a tiny, sad smile and squeezed my hand, his eyes beginning to water.

"Don't cry for me," I said. "He could've done something worse."

"Like what?"

"He could've killed me."

Nurse Herondale cut off Magnus' teary reply by handing me what could've been either painkillers or sleeping pills. I took them regardless of what they were supposed to do and laid back on the bed, tugging the blankets around me.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" I asked, trying to forget everything that had happened that day. It was too much to handle for one person…

"Of course," he said.

**A/N- Please, please, please, for the love of God do not throw things at/flame me. Y'know how Mrs. Clare needed to kill Max off because it was important to the plot? Well, my plot needed Alec to be raped. And I figured if Sebastian (though I guess it was really Jonathan) killed a child in the Shadowhunter universe, then he would rape someone in the human universe. The idea originally started when Jess recommended it to me, but then my plot started forming around the idea so I had to put it in. Review please, but again, no flames.  
>-Ella, who really hopes she won't get flamed. <strong>


	12. What Happens Now?

**A/N- Thank you all for understanding my reasons behind the previous chapter. I have the best readers ever in the history of the universe. Really.  
>Disclaimer-Me? Owning the Mortal Instruments series? Pssh, not even in my dreams, dude.<strong>

The feeling of someone's hand gliding through my hair woke me up from my drug-induced slumber. Being groggy and confused, I thought for a split second that it was my mom. She always used to do that when I was younger. The realization that it wasn't her and all of the memories of the day before came flooding back to me and I almost whimpered at the pain I remembered.

I opened my eyes wider and saw that the person stroking my hair was Magnus. His hand was very gently sliding across my scalp, lighter than a feather's touch, but his eyes were off in the corner of the room. The beautiful green eyes had lost their cat-like appearance and looked worried and sad, even in the morning light that was seeping through the window. There were bags under his eyes and I wondered if he had slept at all. He didn't even notice I was awake until I softly said his name.

"Hey baby," he said, smiling down at me though his eyes still gave away the fact that he was sad. "You're up."

"Did you sleep at all?" I asked him immediately.

"Yeah, Ms. Herondale let me crash here for a few hours," he said with a nonchalant hand wave.

"We need to talk," I said.

"About the fire or about… that other thing?" he asked slowly.

Thankful that he hadn't said the word, I told him that I wanted to talk about what happened with the whole fire ordeal.

His smile turned sheepish and he grimaced. "I guess I should explain what happened, huh?" I nodded. "I'm sure Ragnor told you this a while ago," he began. "But I broke out of this place when I was seventeen and had to rob a lot of stores just to survive on my own. The convenience store you and your brother were at seemed like a perfect place, so I broke into the back room. The only problem was that it was chockfull of security cameras and shit like that. Knowing nothing about electronics should've made me turn around and try somewhere else, but I only needed fifty more bucks to pay my rent for that month, so I tried to disable them. I cut a bunch of different wires but my cigarette fell onto the table so of course one of the sparks from the wires caught it and it was like, _boom, fire_. I had no idea there was anyone else in the store, certainly not a young child. Had I known you were in there, I wouldn't have tried at all."

"Wow," I said. "I feel really dumb for accusing you of trying to kill me."

"Really, darling, it's okay," he insisted. "I would have done the same thing if I just found out that my boyfriend ruined my life."

"Magnus, you didn't ruin my life," I said. "It was pretty much ruined before that."

"But I… I hurt a child with my recklessness."

"Magnus, he didn't get hurt because of you," I explained, rubbing his arm. "He got hurt because the stupid owner wouldn't let me get him, okay?"

"Alright," he said, taking my hand in his. "Can we talk about the other elephant in the room, now?"

I swallowed and shook my head, looking away from his face and down to our joined hands. My own hand was shaking and I had to grip his harder to stop it from doing so.

My name barely made it out of his mouth before my eyes blurred with tears. "I really want you to be able to talk about this before it takes you over," Magnus said. "You'll feel better if you talk."

One of the tears I was holding back slipped out, sliding down my cheek. I hated crying in front of Magnus; it made me feel awful to have him see me like that. It probably didn't make him feel any less guilty. "There's nothing to talk about," I said tightly. More of the tears spilled out from my eyes, making rivulet after rivulet fall down to my chin.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Magnus said quickly, wiping at my damp cheeks. He crawled into bed with me and put my head on his chest. "Maybe crying will make you feel better."

Crying actually did help at that particular moment. Bottling it in would only make it worse and if I wasn't going to talk, at least I could cry. I sobbed harder than I ever remembered sobbing, letting out all of my frustrations of the past six months- my parents disowning me, my brother getting hurt, me getting thrown into Idris, being beaten up, finding out what Magnus accidentally did, and being… raped. I let all of it out, every last thing that had been bothering me. Words couldn't describe how I felt, but afterwards I _did_ feel better.

Wiping my nose with my sleeve, I let Magnus help me sit up. The pain in my body had dulled but it was definitely still there, though I could sit up straight.

"My intention was not to make you cry," Magnus said honestly. "I was just trying to make you feel better."

"I _do_ feel better," I said. "Crying helps a little." Curling into his body, I inhaled the sweet scent that was Magnus- vanilla and mint, no more cigarette smoke. It didn't take him long to quit when I was there to uh… distract his mouth every time he was craving one. He once told me that I was more addicting than cigarettes and for some odd reason that was a huge turn on; he earned major boyfriend points with that one.

"You don't deserve this," he muttered. "You're such a great person." When I didn't reply he added, "I love you."

"I love you, too." And I did still love Magnus with all my heart, there was no doubt about that. Even though he had done some bad things that affected my life didn't mean I hated him. No, I was far from hating him.

We sat there in a comfortable yet still strained silence, engulfed in each other's presence, momentarily forgetting where we were. My mind had shut down for the first time in months and I let myself relax into Magnus' gentle embrace. He was being very gentle, like he was afraid he would break me. I guess I was sort of glad he was hardly touching me; I was still in a lot of pain. Magnus was the only person I trusted to touch me at all, though we had never gone further than kissing each other. After what happened, I wasn't sure if I would ever be mentally able to make love to Magnus like I knew we both wanted to. The thought didn't even process in my mind and I shoved it to the back of my brain for the time being.

"Magnus," I said after a few minutes of just holding each other.

"Yes love?" he answered quietly.

"I'm glad I met you," I said into the fabric of his shirt. "Even though I had to go through hell to do it."

"The hell that I ensued," he muttered bitterly.

"If you keep blaming yourself for this I'm going to hit you," I said firmly.

"I just feel so bad," he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. "What happened to you should never be forced upon anyone, you particularly. You are the single most amazing person I have ever had the luck to meet, and it doesn't make sense that you got… hurt like this."

"I don't know what to say to that," I answered honestly.

"You don't have to say anything," he said. "But I want you to know that if you ever need to talk about it, I'm always here to listen."

"Alright."

He gave me a look like he really wanted to say something else, but shook his head and leaned into me again. I did the same but accidentally moved my legs the wrong way and hissed in pain.

I think Magnus almost had a heart attack. "What is it? What happened?" he asked quickly. "Was it me? Did I hurt you?"

"No, no," I said softly. "Calm down, you didn't do anything, it just hurts if I move." All of the random bursts of walking the night before had come back to bite me in the ass.

"Do you want me to go get Ms. Herondale?" he asked.

"Uhm, it's not that bad," I said quietly. "I'll be fine."

"But I don't want you to be any pain," he said.

"Okay, go get her if you feel obligated to."

Magnus kissed the top of my head before running off in search of Ms. Herondale. He was acting overly protective and lovey that day, and I had a hunch why. No doubt he was feeling guilty about the fire and everything else that happened. I didn't blame him at all; sometimes you have to get through all of the shit in life to find the happiness. And I found him so I was happy. What he did in the past didn't matter to me, that's why it's called the _past_.

"Take these," Ms. Herondale said to me when she came into the room with Magnus. Two little white pills were pushed into my palm along with a paper cup of water. I swallowed the pills and opened my arms to Magnus who sat right next to me.

Surprisingly, Ms. Herondale pulled up the wooden chair and sat next to us. "Alexander," she said quietly, looking at me with a maternal look in her eyes. "I am so sorry that this happened to you. The safety of the boys here has never really been the number one priority in Idris. If you tell me who did it I can have a court date set and-"

"No," I interrupted. "No, that's not necessary."

"What?" she and Magnus exclaimed simultaneously.

"Don't bother with a court date," I said with a head shake. "If he finds out I told then he'll just come after me."

Magnus gave me a 'wtf' look and I heard the shaking in his voice. "Alec you have to realize that-"

"That I was just raped?" I exclaimed over his diminishing sentence. The word made me throat burn and my chest clench, but I kept speaking anyway. "Yes, I am painfully aware of that, but there's nothing you can do about it. I don't want to go to court and I don't want to talk about it anymore!"

Both Magnus and Ms. Herondale looked at me for a minute with incredulous expressions. They probably didn't understand that I was still in shock and disbelief as to what happened and all I wanted to do was forget about everything that went down the day before. They wanted to make me feel better, but I wasn't ready to talk about it just yet.

"I respect your decision but I hardly think it's the right one," Ms. Herondale said stuffily; as soon as I disagreed with her, her motherly advice side jumped off a cliff and was replaced with her usual self. Schizophrenic much? "Magnus you can stay here until tomorrow. I'll tell the guards you're both sick." She utterly confused me. One minute she was bitchy, then she turned into a grandma type personality, then she gets bitchy again but then does something nice. It didn't really matter because she had left to tell the guards, but still…

"Why are you acting like this?" Magnus asked me. His gorgeous green eyes would've made me melt but I felt too depressed to notice the love in them. I did see the usual sparkle they held snuff out, like a forgotten fire… I really need to stop with the fire analogies.

"I just want to forget this ever happened," I explained. "But I can't do that if I'm stuck here for six months."

"All the more reason to take him to court," he countered. Why did he always have such good arguments?

"If I take him to court, it'll only cause more problems and complications," I said. "I don't want to deal with anything else until I can get my head on straight!"

"I guess I understand what you mean," he muttered, defeated.

I slumped against his shoulders and sighed deeply, suddenly very tired. "I wish you did," I whispered.

**A/N- Gah, why did this turn out so short and sucky? *giggles* That's what she said :3 Sorry, sorry, I'm perverted, I know. Please review even though I hate this filler chapter. Damn fillers ruin lives and murder writers' inspiration! Review anyways. I love you all in a totally non pedophilic way :P  
>-Ella, the girl who is emo and doesn't give a fuck what you think about it. (Yes, that <strong>_**was **_**random, thank you for noticing.)**


	13. Princesses and Incest

**A/N- Whenever I get new reviews from people who are all 'I just found this and read all of it in one day!' I get very happy. So thanks.  
>Hey, because of the FOUR reviews I got, I decided to give you all some motherfucking fluff. Not just fluff, but motherfucking fluff. Wooow… that sounds super awkward. *pulls mind out of gutter* bad brain, bad.<br>WARNING: this is kind of crack-ish.  
>Disclaimer- I only own the plot, thank you very much.<strong>

Ms. Herondale was kind enough to leave us be for the rest of the day, though she said Magnus had to leave the next morning. I wasn't exactly happy about that, he was the last thing I had left, but I got over it and made sure he didn't leave my side that day. We hadn't said much to each other since that morning but I liked the comfortable silence we had going on. A sudden thought made me break it.

"Hey Magnus," I said quietly, turning my head so I could see his face.

"Hmm?" he hummed lazily.

"You have an accent," I started.

"Yes. And you have blue eyes," Magnus said. "It's fun to point out the obvious."

I playfully smacked his arm and gave him a small smile. "I was just wondering what _kind_ of accent it is."

"Oh," he said. "Well, it's English mixed with something else… I'm really not sure."

"You're not sure?" I repeated. "How do you not know?"

"My parents and I lived in London for a while when I was a lot younger but I don't know where we lived before that," he explained. "I _think_ it was Indonesia but I'm not positive."

"Huh," I said. "So… you're Indonesian and English?"

"No, my mom had some Korean in her, too," he added. "And I believe my grandmother was Japanese."

"Whatever you are, it's very attractive," I said quietly, feeling my face heat up as I did so. Compliments weren't my forte.

"Thank you, darling," was his smooth response. I could tell he was grinning at my blush even though I wasn't looking at him. "Let's just call me very Asian with a hint of European."

"It doesn't matter," I muttered, taking his hand. "I was just curious."

"And now you know… kind of." His giggle bubbled out of his mouth and I couldn't help but smile at it. Magnus seemed like a bad-ass, hard-ass, smartass when you first met him, but he definitely had a soft side, a soft side that included a quite feminine giggle. Of the many things I loved about him, his giggle was near the top of that very long list, right next to his amazing looks and great sense of humor.

A caramel colored hand waving in front of my face snapped me out of my thoughts. "Earth to Alec," Magnus called. "Daydreaming about me again?"

Yes.

"No," I lied, curling into his side and burying my face in his grey shirt.

"What were you thinking about then?" Magnus asked. His strong arms went around my shoulders and hugged me tighter.

"Not you," I lied again.

He scoffed at me, sounding way too much like Izzy. "I'm offended."

His tone made me give in. "Okay, maybe I _was_ thinking about you."

"Do I get details of these thoughts?"

"You have a girly giggle," I said simply.

"Now I'm really offended."

I laughed a little and smiled up at him. "Let me finish," I insisted. "I _love_ your giggle- it is adorable no matter how girly it is. And then I started thinking about all the other things I love about you but you interrupted me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "Please, continue that train of thought. What else do you love about me?"

"I'm not gonna tell you," I said.

He stuck out his bottom lip and his voice raised and octave or two as he asked why.

"Because if I tell you then I'll have to leave the room," I said. When his face questioned me, I continued. "You, me, and your huge ego won't fit in here if I tell you."

A beautiful laugh from an equally beautiful person resonated through the otherwise empty room and I felt Magnus' chest vibrate against mine. "It's okay to be a little egotistical," he said.

"_Little_ being the key word there," I said with a grin.

"No comment."

Silence fell over us again, like a blanket of silk, quiet and smooth. I hadn't thought about Sebastian or what he did since that morning, and talking to Magnus really helped. Magnus knew how to get my mind off of certain topics; he would usually crack a joke or kiss me and I immediately forgot about it. The silence was making my mind drift over to that topic though.

"Tell me a story," I said randomly.

"What kind of story?" he asked. The fact that he didn't even question my utter randomness made me smile. I mentally added that to the list of things I loved about him- he didn't care about randomness.

"A happy story," I answered. "Like a really nice memory you have."

"Shit, now I can't think of one," he said. "I can't think straight under pressure."

I held back my comment on him rarely thinking _straight_, but that would've been an awesome joke. "Make something up, I don't care," I said instead.

"Okay, ah," he paused, and tapped his chin with his index finger. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Alec."

"No, no, no," I interrupted. "If anyone, _you'd _be the one who's the princess."

"No, darling, I would be the _queen_," he corrected.

I laughed and looked at him strangely. "Does that mean we're lesbians now?" I asked.

"I think so."

"But isn't that technically incestuous if you're the queen and I'm the princess?" I wondered aloud.

"Not if we're from a different kingdom, duh," he explained. "Besides, what's wrong with incest?"

"I'm almost positive it's illegal," I stated.

Magnus' reply was cut off by Ms. Herondale walking up to our shared bed with a stern look on her face. "Go to sleep," she said firmly. "Magnus, you need to be up and out of here by the time breakfast is over, understood?"

"Sir, yes sir," Magnus said with a salute.

Her lips became a thin, straight line, as she obviously did not think that was funny. "Separate beds," she said. "Now." With a melodramatic sigh, Magnus slinked out of my bed and plopped down on the one next to it.

As soon as Ms. Herondale was out of the room, Magnus crawled back into my bed and grinned at me. "You didn't really think I would leave you all alone here, did you?" he whispered.

"Nope," I answered just as quietly. "I know you too well."

* * *

><p>Magnus woke me up again the next morning to say goodbye for the day. He was upset that Ms. Herondale was making him leave but I reassured him that I would be back that night.<p>

"Are you sure you're ready to come back?" he asked skeptically.

I shrugged in reply. "I'll be fine," I said. "You'll protect me right?"

A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes and I was suddenly worried about what he was thinking. "Of course," he said. He kissed my cheek before walking to the door. "See you in twelve hours."

I fell back asleep after he left, thankful to let my mind shut up for a few hours. I loved Magnus but I needed some time by myself for a little while, just to process what was going on. When I woke up it wasn't time for lunch yet, so I sat up and found that there was hardly any pain in my body.

Thankfully, the infirmary had its own private bathroom complete with a shower stall. I used it back when my ribs were broken and it was a lot cleaner than the ones we used every day. I stripped down and moved under the warm jets of water. Yes, it was actually warm water.

No matter how much soap I used and how hard I scrubbed I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that he was still on me. I could _feel_ him on me, or the ghost of him or something, but I didn't feel clean at all. It was horrible; I just wanted him off of me.

For the rest of the day, I sat in my bed doodling random things on the extra paper I had found in the drawer next to my bed. I think Ms. Herondale caught on that I liked to use the paper for one thing or another because there was always paper in that drawer.

When the time came for me to leave, Monty (who kind of seemed like he was always walking me to places) was leading the way out of the infirmary and to the bunk room when another guard walked in with someone else.

At first, I didn't recognize whoever the person was; I just knew he looked like hell. One of his eyes was nearly swollen shut and an ugly shade of purple, there were cuts and bruises all over his face, blood splattered the right side of his neck, and he was limping. When I saw that it was Sebastian my heart ceased all beating and I almost had a panic attack right there; there were chills going down my spine, yet I felt sweaty and dizzy. I thanked every different type of god or almighty being that I could name when Sebastian didn't even notice me, and I proceeded to practically run down the hallway with my burly guard.

Back in the bunk room, Magnus sat at our usual table by himself, chewing on a piece of gum. Gum had been his replacement for cigarettes and he chewed more gum in a week than I had in my entire life. The guy who brought him more every week was getting flabbergasted at how fast it went. Really, I bet Magnus' jaw would never be the same again.

I sat next to him very sneakily and quietly, like a ninja, and saw that his eyes lit up when he noticed me. "I was waiting for you," he said happily. A lovely kiss was placed on my lips and I smiled at him, but it quickly faded.

"What's wrong?" Magnus asked me.

"On my way out," I started. "Sebastian walked in with a ton of bruises and stuff."

"Did he say anything to you?" he asked, his tone taking on an angry edge.

"No, but it scared me," I said. "Do you know what happened?"

"Yeah, I know exactly what happened," Magnus started. He removed his hands from where they rested on his lap underneath the table and held them up to me. He was wearing handcuffs. "I beat the shit out of him."

All I could say was "Oh."

"He won't be bothering you for a long time, not after what I did to him," he said quietly. "Little pussy didn't even fight back; he knew he deserved it."

"Thank you," I said. There weren't any extravagant adjectives or anything like that in my thank you but there didn't need to be; the tone of my voice told Magnus how grateful I was and I bet my eyes did, too. Magnus was really good at reading my emotions in my eyes.

"No problem, love," he said with a small smile. "Now can you help me out of these cuffs?"

I took the bobby pin he offered to me and returned the smile. "No problem, love."

**A/N- I think this is the shortest chapter yet. When I don't get that many reviews, my chapters aren't very long. That's just how it works. Sorry to be bitchy =[ and sorry for the shortness. You wanna review pretty please with Malec and a beaten up Sebastian on top?  
>-Ella<strong>


	14. Another Newbie

**A/N- Would you look at that? I got a ton of reviews. Thank you all, my lovely little monkeys you. Wait, monkeys? Ah, it doesn't matter. ONWARD! *sprouts wings and flies over to the next chapter*  
>Disclaimer- I feel like shit. Last night I went to a My Chem concert. I was in the pit. I'm sore. It was awesome. I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I love MCR; they are by far the greatest band to ever walk the face of the earth. They're probably angels… or gods…<strong>

"Baby, just change your angle," Magnus said, looking down at me with a slightly amused look on his face. I was irritated with that look; I was doing the best I could, it's not like I had done anything of that nature before.

"Change my angle?" I repeated. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Well, if you would move your head so I could see," Magnus started.

"If I move my head I won't be able to continue," I argued.

"You will if I let you," he said. "So far you're doing an awful job."

"I'm trying my best," I whined.

Magnus sighed and swiped the bobby pin from my hand, holding it in front of my face and moving it so it pointed towards the floor at a 45 degree angle. "Like this," he said. "Then curl it, pretend you're drawing a circle with it."

"Ugh, _fine_," I said, taking the bobby pin from him again. "I don't see why you can't undo your own stupid handcuffs."

"Maybe because I'm _handcuffed_," he stated.

My face felt hot and I nodded. "Oh, right," I muttered, getting back to work. I tried moving it in a circle like he told me to, and after a few moments of manipulating the bobby pin the handcuffs made a snapping noise and unclenched themselves from Magnus' wrists. I caught them before the fell to the ground and placed them on the table.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Magnus said with a smirk, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I guess not," I muttered, sitting back in my chair.

Magnus' smirk grew wider and he pulled me forward by my waist, depositing me in his lap. "That's better," he said in my ear. "I missed you today." Warm lips found my jawbone and I felt the corners of my mouth quirk up. Had the boys in the bunk room not been used to our PDA, I probably would've blushed instead.

"I missed you, too," I murmured.

"You're what I've been looking forward to all day long," he said quietly, kissing my cheek that time.

"Aw," I said, moving my eyes down to my combat boots and feeling the usual cherry-red blush coming on. Magnus never ceased to amaze me with his ability to make me blush like crazy. You'd think his compliments wouldn't have any effect on me after I had known him for six months, but you'd be wrong.

"That blush of yours is the most adorable thing I've ever seen," he commented.

"Even more adorable than Chairman Meow?" I asked.

He nodded slowly and grinned up at me. "Even more adorable than Chairman Meow when he's eating peanut butter."

"What does peanut butter have to do with it?" I questioned.

"Whenever I feed him peanut butter from a spoon, his tongue goes crazy," Magnus said, letting out that giggle I loved so much. "I think it gets stuck to the roof of his mouth and it just goes insane." Mimicking Chairman Meow, Magnus stuck his tongue in and out frantically, multiple times. It was pretty cute.

"That does seem very cute," I agreed.

"If I ever feed you peanut butter from a spoon will you have tongue spasms adorably?" he asked.

"I might have tongue spasms but it probably wouldn't be nearly as adorable as Chairman Meow," I said.

"Why not?"

"I'm allergic to peanut butter," I stated.

"Well, you don't know that for sure," he insisted.

"Magnus, the last time I ate peanut butter my throat closed up and I had to go to the hospital," I said.

He paused for a second and then brought his face up to me. "Alexander," he said slowly and dramatically. "I think you might be allergic to peanut butter."

"I would've never guessed," I said with a laugh.

"You're not allergic to chocolate syrup, dairy, whipped cream, or cherries are you?" he asked randomly.

"No, why?" I asked.

"Because as soon as we get out of here I am so taking you out for ice cream," he stated happily. "I'll make sure it's not peanut butter-y."

"Thanks," I said with a smile.

Magnus smiled back at me but it faded away as he got more serious, his eyes darkening slightly. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.

"Alright," I said, shrugging.

"I'm still really sorry I didn't get there faster," he muttered.

Running my fingers through his long, dark hair, I shrugged again and kissed his forehead. "It's not your fault," I said.

"I know." The hold he had around my waist tightened. "But I'm very protective of you."

"Someone has to be," I said.

"If something else happens you'll tell me right?" he asked with a worried expression.

"Yes, Magnus."

"And if I do something to make you uncomfortable you'll let me know?" he asked.

"_Yes_," I said again. "You don't have to be so paranoid."

"I'm simply trying to be a good boyfriend," he said sheepishly.

"You succeeded in doing that a long time ago," I said.

"If you say so," he muttered, tilting my chin up so our eyes met. The kiss we shared was the sweetest kiss we'd had before. Magnus seemed tentative to kiss me at all, so I pulled him forward and made him kiss me. Secretly, I was trying to make sure Magnus was overriding the leftover Sebastian in my mouth. That was probably the most illogical thought I'd ever had, but I wanted anything that had to do with Sebastian out of my life and mind forever.

My hands had been tangled in his hair and when I pulled back there was something shimmery on my fingers. "What is this?" I asked, experimentally rubbing my fingers together.

Magnus ran his fingers through his hair as well and they came back shimmery. "Ragnor," he grumbled. "That sneaky bastard."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He got Rodney to put glitter in my pillowcase like he said he would once he left," he said. "Glitter messes up my hair unless it is expertly applied and… ugh I need some shampoo."

"Go into the bathroom and rinse your hair out," I suggested.

He stood up after carefully placing me on my feet and stretched his long limbs. "I'll go do that," he said. "Be back in a sec." He kissed my nose and walked into the bathroom.

Suddenly, some guy was standing in front of me. For a split second I thought it was William, but he was too tan to be William. He seemed kind of like a surfer-type guy, all tall and tan. He may as well have been a troll compared to Magnus.

He smiled and sat in Magnus' empty chair. "Hey, dude," he said with a small drawl in his speech. He was definitely a surfer.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked, albeit rather rudely.

"I'm new here," he explained. "And I was wondering if you and your friend could help me out."

"I guess so." I stuck out my hand and he firmly shook it. "I'm Alec."

"Kyle."

"Nice to meet you, Kyle," I said kindly.

He flinched. "Ah, well it's really Jordan."

"Wait, it's Jordan?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Wait, yes, it's Jordan."

"Jordan or Kyle?"

"Jordan Kyle."

"Which is it?" I asked.

"_Jordan Kyle_."

"Your name is Jordan Kyle?" I repeated.

"Yes."

"Seriously, Jordan Kyle?"

"Mhm."

"You have two first names?"

"_Yes_."

Magnus walked in at that moment, hair slightly damp and lacking glitter. "Hey babe," he said to me. After nearly walking into the tan guy, Magnus demanded to know who was sitting in his chair.

"That's Jordan Kyle," I said.

"Jordankyle?" he asked, mistaking his first and last name for one full name. "What is that, French?"

"No," Jordan/Kyle said, getting fed up with it all. "My first name is Jordan and my last name is Kyle!"

"Well why didn't you just say that?" Magnus asked. "That would've made things simpler."

"Can you just tell me how it works around here?" he asked.

Magnus and I shared a glance and carefully explained to Jordan all of the rules of Idris that the guards left out. His face got more and more anguished as we went on and by the time we were finished he was near tears.

"Dude, this place sucks," he said, crossing his arms. "Why do they make you wear cuffs the first night?"

"So they know how dangerous you are," Magnus said.

"Some black-haired kid pretty much yanked mine off of me when I got here a few days ago," he said.

It took me a moment to make the connection that it was Sebastian he was talking about and my heart stuttered before I regain my composition. "Maybe you should go to sleep," I said. "It'll help to have as much sleep as possible."

He nodded and got up to walk to his bunk. I saw that it was Ragnor's old bunk. Vacancies don't last long in Idris.

* * *

><p>Life without Sebastian was pure bliss. I didn't have to worry about a thing at all and I was slowly but surely forgetting about what happened. Magnus was a little more than protective, he was borderline insane with certain people talking to me. In the week Sebastian was gone, Magnus made sure no one messed with me. When William sneered at me from across the room I think Magnus almost exploded, but it was actually kind of cute.<p>

**(A/N- Meanwhile, Bee went to the Lightwood residence and kicked Maryse in the taco.)**

A day or two before Sebastian was due back to the normal routine of Idris, I got a letter from Izzy with some mildly surprising news, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't somewhat see it coming.

"Look who Izzy found wandering around Manhattan," I said to Magnus, showing him the picture that was included in the letter.

He took the photo from me and gaped at the smiling forms of Izzy and Ragnor wearing "I heart NYC" shirts in the middle of Taki's. Ragnor had only been gone for less than a week and he had already found Izzy.

"I can't believe they didn't buy me a shirt like that!" he exclaimed.

"Izzy's letter said they're trying to find you one in yellow," I said.

"Ooh," he said, eyeing the photo again. "Hopefully they'll find it by my birthday. I'm already expecting a load of designer things from Camille when I get back."

"You're really into fashion aren't you?" I asked.

"Hells yes I am," he answered with a grin. "I have a walk in closet that deserves its own zip code and I rarely ever where anything twice in the same month, unless I'm too lazy to do laundry."

"Wow, I know absolutely nothing about fashion," I said lamely. "My wardrobe consists of sweaters, jeans, and tennis shoes."

He gasped and looked at me with his mouth open. "Okay, after we get out of her and I take you out for ice cream I'm making you try on some skinny jeans," he said.

"Aren't those for girls?" I asked, confused.

"Not if you wear them the right way."

**A/N- FUCK THESE SHORT CHAPTERS! FUCK YOU SHORT CHAPTER!** **DAMN! Anyways, could you all do me a favor and review even though I totally suck. It took forever to get this up and then I give you a shitty piece of fuck excuse for a chapter. That sounded mean. I'm sorry little chapter *feeds chapter a cookie.*  
>Review like the good people you are!<br>-Ella, who is sad that her chapter is too fuckin short.**

**P.S. – If I skip forward a bunch in the next chapter will you still love me?**


	15. Happy Birthday to You!

**A/N- Thank you for the reviews! I love reviews. I'm wearing My Chemical Romance gloves. I like pie. FUCK YEAH MUTHAFUCKAAAAA! Hey, so I posted a new story called 'Nine Lives' and it's basically nine different scenarios in which Alec and Magnus meet. So go look at that. NOW.  
>Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments series. If I did, Clary would have perished by now because she's a red-headed devil. A DEVIL I TELL YOU!<strong>

Magnus' overprotective qualities advanced tenfold when Sebastian got back; he wouldn't let me out of his sight. One time, he argued with me for ten minutes until he finally let me go to the bathroom by myself. At first, I thought it was cute, but then it started getting on my nerves.

He eventually let up though and we got back into the normal swing of things. Sebastian hadn't said a word to me or even looked me in the eye since he had gotten beaten up, which I was very grateful for. He and William were obviously trying to avoid me and no one was stopping them.

Jordan Kyle had sort of kind of become part of our little group after a few weeks of knowing him. He was no Ragnor but he was still a decent guy and Magnus seemed to like him. No, I wasn't jealous, where in the happy fuck did you get _that_ idea?

…Okay, _maybe_ I had a _bit _of a problem with the fact that Magnus had been with so many people and Jordan being there didn't help that. Magnus told me all the time that I was better than anyone he had ever been with, but it still bugged me sometimes. I was very glad that Jordan was one hundred percent straight.

Izzy's letters to me had started to mix with little anecdotes about her and Ragnor going shopping or him doing her hair and from the pictures she sent, I could tell that that was not what he wanted. Ragnor was desperately trying to either get in her pants or in her mouth but she was too busy having a gay best friend. I believe she forgot that he was bisexual and preferred women. It was actually hilarious from my point of view.

Excluding Izzy's/Ragnor's letters to me and Magnus, nothing else out of the ordinary happened. It wasn't until June that something good happened. The 18th was Magnus' birthday and I wanted to do something special. I couldn't have gotten him anything so I got Isabelle to help me out like she had on Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day had been great. Magnus and I were already celebrating Sebastian leaving me alone and Magnus had a plan to kiss me every hour on the hour for the entire day, so I made sure to tell him I loved him every hour on the hour as well. Needless to say, it was the greatest Valentine's I'd ever had; way better than the one I'd been forced to share with _Sharon_. Izzy helped me get Magnus a gift card to Hollister and I think he almost had a heart attack.

But for his birthday I had absolutely no Idea how to give him something or what to give him. Izzy and Ragnor still hadn't been able to find that yellow I love NYC shirt for him yet and I was at a complete loss.

Three days before his birthday, Izzy wrote me a messily written letter exclaiming that she had found the shirt _and_ designer boots for Magnus. I thanked her about ten jillion times and couldn't wait to tell him.

When the day came we both made sure to shower quickly and went to the bunk room together in record time. He lay down on my bed next to me and grasped my hand.

"Happy birthday," I told him immediately, giving him a quick kiss.

"Thanks, boo," he said. His pet name for me changed every other week, and at that moment in time it was boo. It made me feel like the little girl from Monsters Inc. but I didn't want him to change it. It was better than honeybee, which he had called me for nearly a whole month before I put an end to it. Honeybee was the worst one, then it was cupcake, and one of the other awful ones he'd called me was chipmunk. I shuddered at the thought of that name.

"Sooooo," he said, tugging on my sleeve. "Where's my present?"

I scoffed and mocked irritation. "Am I not a good enough present for you?" I asked.

"Of course you are, boo," he said immediately. "But that doesn't mean I don't want something else."

"Okay, well, there is something else," I started. "But you won't get it until you're out of Idris."

"Oh, just tell me," he pleaded, shaking my shoulders. "Please, please, please, please, plea-"

I held up my hand before his fifth please could escape and grinned at him. "Izzy found you some designer boots," I said. "Now you two will match."

"_Yes!_" he exclaimed, giving me a spine shattering bear hug. "Did you tell her thank you?"

"More times than I can count," I answered, taking a deep breath after than intense hug. "She and Ragnor also found you that shirt."

"Double yes!" He kissed me fiercely and smiled. "You and your sister are so kickass."

"Thanks," I said with a laugh. Magnus had once stated that we were so kickass that we would probably be ninjas in another life. The funny thing was that I wanted to be a ninja when I was a little kid.

"Only one month and ten days and I'll be wearing designer boots," Magnus said excitedly. "Speaking of getting out of Idris, I have something to ask you."

"What's that?" I asked quietly, snuggling into his side.

"You know how you told me that you don't want to go home when you get out?" he asked.

"Yeah…"

"Well, I was wondering…" he left his sentence hanging in the air.

"Yes?" I prodded.

After a few moments of him chewing his lip like I usually did, he finally spoke, "Do you think that maybe you could stay with me for a while?"

My breath hitched and I looked at him. "You want me to move in with you?" I asked.

"Not if you don't want to," he said quickly. "I just figured that since you didn't have anywhere to live and we've only got a month till we leave that you could stay with me until you find a permanent place."

"Why do you think I wouldn't want to live with you?" I asked quietly.

"I didn't want you to think that I was pushing you into it," he said.

"Will Camille be okay with me being there?"

He shrugged, saying "She's got her own apartment." I smiled and leaned over to give him a sweet kiss and I felt him smile back at me. "Is that a yes?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "I'd love to stay with you, and no, I am _not_ just saying that because it's your birthday."

"How'd you know I was going to ask that?" he asked.

"Because I know you too well," was my answer.

A happy sigh pressed against my neck where Magnus' head lay. "Today is such a great birthday," he said. "That question has been bugging me all week, y'know."

"I can't believe I have the power to get you worried," I mused to myself. "What was the worst you thought I would say?"

"I don't know," he said, tilting his head up a little. "I figured it would be something along the lines of 'What kind of question is that? Can't you see I'm not ready? Stop rushing into things and start acting like a gentleman, you pretentious bastard!'"

Blinking a few times, I looked up at him with an appalled expression. "I would never say that!"

"I know that _now,_" he said. "But I still have my worries; I want to do things right with you."

"It's a little difficult to do things right with me when we're in a juvenile delinquent center, don't you think?"

He paused and pursed his lips, seeming to be deep in thought. "Damn, you're right."

I laughed as the guards called us in for breakfast and I tugged Magnus out of my bed. "I'd be very happy to move in with you," I whispered in his ear as we made our way to the cafeteria. "Even if we don't do things the right way."

**A/N- GAH! *throws laptop against the wall* What in the fuck? What is this? ^^^^ What is that? GAH! *takes deep breath* Okay, sorry about that, I just don't really like this chapter because it's too fucking short, but I needed to get this idea down and this is the third time I wrote it. The other two were OOC and angsty and just ugh. Please review? For me?  
>-Ella, who wants you all to know that this story is far from being over. It will extend to the outside world. I'm estimating about 30 chapters total ;)<strong>


	16. Back in the Big Apple

**A/N- Hey! I loved your many reviews! Really, reviews are what keep me going. Sometimes I have these moments of weakness when I think I'm a sucky writer and blah, blah, blah. You all always prove me wrong :D So, thank you from the bottom of my black little heart.  
>Now, this chapter skips forward a bit. Sorry if it's rushed, I just wanted to get this over with…<br>Disclaimer- Uh, yo, I like… don't own the Mortal Instruments series so… yeah… *cries***

Magnus was more than a little excited about getting out of Idris. For the next month and ten days, he was constantly reminding me about how many days were left until we got out, how ecstatic he was, that he was glad I would be living with him, and many other things that just seemed to give me a migraine. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by shouting at him 'I heard you the first trillion times!' like I wanted to, so I endured his jabbering until the end of July and relied on one of our smuggling friends to get me Tylenol when I needed it the most.

At the end of the day on July 28th, Magnus and I would be free. The only problem? William and Sebastian would be free as well. Neither Magnus nor I had any idea where they lived, but it had me antsy for the entire day. I almost cut myself on the barbed wire I had to crawl under, I was shaking so badly.

"Sweet pea," Magnus said as I was freaking out during dinner, using my latest pet name. "It's going to be fine. If you keep stressing out about it it'll only make it that much worse."

"But what if he stalks me or something?" I exclaimed, earning a few odd looks from the other boys at our table.

"He hasn't stalked you since…" He paused and his eyes got kind of shifty. "Since that thing happened," he finished much to my relief. "He already got what he wanted, he won't bother you again."

"How do you know that?" I challenged.

"I just do," he said vaguely.

"That's not an answer," I muttered, turning back to my dinner that consisted of mush and more mush. Again, the only edible thing on my plate was the piece of bread and what I think was applesauce. Or maybe it was just regurgitated apples…

"Paws off my bread," I exclaimed, slapping away Magnus' hand as he tried to steal said food item away from me.

He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted at me. "But mine is all gone," he whined.

I kindly pointed out that the reason his bread was gone was because he had already scarfed it down like a crazed pig that hadn't seen food in a week.

"A crazed pig?" he repeated, appalled. "A crazed _pig_!"

"A crazed… rainbow," I corrected slowly. "A really hungry rainbow."

"Oh, alright," he agreed, digging back into his applesauce/upchucked apples.

I looked at him for a second, scrunching my face in an odd way as I tried to comprehend his _unique_ tendencies. Really, he could be seriously weird at times, but it was another one of his many quirks that were kind of cute so I didn't dwell on it any longer.

"What time are we leaving?" I asked quietly.

"Right after this," Magnus answered immediately with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

As if on cue, the guards called us back into the bunk room in the same barking tone of voice they always used. I (hopefully) wouldn't have to hear voices like that ever again. The feeling of knowing that was fantastic.

Literally as soon as we got into the bunk room, the large guards started calling out the names of guys that were getting out that day. My stomach was all twisted up worse than when I had first kissed Magnus and that was saying something. For a split second, I was afraid that something horrible was going to happen. Like the guards suddenly told me I couldn't go home because I was in trouble for doing something that I unconsciously did in my sleep one night.

Luckily, nothing of that sort happened. They simply gave us the clothes we had arrived in on our first day along with our wallets, IDs and things like that then sent us outside to the bus, no checks or preparations or anything. It was all very… offhand-ish. None of the guards really cared about what was going on, they just gave us clothes and kicked us out.

Magnus' outfit was simpler than I thought it would be; just skinny jeans and a brightly colored green t-shirt. May I point out that his rear end looked particularly perfect in skinny jeans? I think I will. It was legitimately _perfect_. He caught me staring at his ass and grinned before pulling me through the big gates of Idris.

His arm immediately went around my waste when he saw William and Sebastian leering at us from across the way. He paused and waited for them to get on the bus before climbing up the few stairs as well and taking a seat next to me in the very back. Our fingers intertwined as the bus started up and began down the gravel road. I finally let myself breathe again.

"Are you okay?" Magnus asked, concern tinting his tone.

I nodded and breathed in through my nose then out through my mouth like he'd told me to when I was about to have a panic attack. I had yet to actually have a severe one, but sometimes I forgot how to breathe and may as well have been an inanimate object for a minute or two.

"I can't wait to be away from them," I whispered, looking towards the front of the bus where they were sitting and conversing quietly.

"Me either," he agreed. A small smile appeared on his face when I rested my head on his shoulder.

"What's the game plan for when we get to your house?" I asked with a yawn.

"I'm not sure," he said honestly. "Camille will probably freak out because I didn't tell her I was coming back today. Then we'll have to get you settled in and stuff like that. You said you were going to wait until tomorrow to see your siblings, right?"

"Mhm."

"That'll be a good time to get some of your things, too," he said quietly, noticing that I was falling asleep on him. He kissed my forehead just as I drifted off.

* * *

><p>Magnus shook me awake however many hours later and gently told me that we were in Manhattan again. I was a bit discombobulated from having just woken up so I trusted him and went along with him off the bus.<p>

There were people standing around with their cars, waiting for the boy they needed to bring home. Magnus didn't have anyone to wait for him which made me feel kind of sad. Had Izzy and Jace not been out partying that Friday, I would've had someone for me but Magnus still would've been alone. He hailed a cab for us instead, quickly telling the driver his address in Brooklyn.

To be honest, I was nervous as hell about being back home and moving in with Magnus. For one, I would have to face my 'parents' when I went to get my stuff from my room, and I was _moving in with Magnus_. I loved him and he loved me, but it was a little scary no matter how in love we were. Moving in meant sharing the same bed but with actual privacy and that meant that Magnus would more than likely want to do something other than just sleep next to me and I wasn't sure if I was ready to do that yet. I wasn't sure if I would ever be ready. It scared the shit out of me.

The ride to Magnus' apartment was short and oddly quiet. I was still groggy from my nap on the bus and Magnus was suddenly a mute. His hand didn't leave mine but he stared out the window and chewed at his pursed lips until we arrived at a small apartment complex. He handed the driver a few bills from his wallet and led the way outside.

I followed him up the few stairs to the building and then up another flight of stairs to get to his actual flat. He produced a key from his very tight back pocket and used it to open up his door.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said with a smile, closing the door behind him.

Feeling shy, I took a few steps forward and looked around. It was no surprise to me that everything was mismatched and brightly colored. The doorway led into what I guessed was his living room, with a bright pink and fluffy couch, flat screen TV, and a glass coffee table with every fashion magazine in the world on it.

A furry, white tabby cat darted out from under the bright couch and curled itself in between Magnus' legs. Magnus squealed in delight and picked him up, smothering him with many kisses while I stood there with an amused look on my face.

"Where's Camille, huh?" he asked the feline, using a rather high pitched voice. "Where's our favorite girly friend, hm?"

"Meow," Chairman answered, tilting his head to the side and blinking.

"The shower?" Magnus asked. He handed me his cat and went off in search of his friend, calling her name.

Chairman Meow blinked at me and mewed softly, licking my hand. I smiled at him and jumped when Magnus screamed for Camille again. He came back into the living room and smiled, looking devious.

"_Camille!_" he shouted.

"_What?_" she hollered back, coming out of the bathroom in just a bra and jeans. I blushed at her scantily clad-ness, but she was very beautiful. Her long, blonde hair hung past her shoulders, looking almost white in the florescent lights. Her skin was a nice shade of ivory but her lips were full and light pink… As I looked closer I saw that her boobs were very much fake. I could only tell because she was in her bra and I blushed when she caught me staring. She was like Isabelle in the sense that I wouldn't doubt guys were all over her. I was ridiculously relieved that Magnus favored guys over girls…

Her eyes widened when she saw Magnus and then widened even more when she saw me. Her arms shot out and she smiled hugely, jumping into Magnus' arms when he hugged her.

"Maggie!" she exclaimed, pulling back to get a good look at him. "I had no idea you were going to be back so early!"

"That's 'cause I wanted to surprise you," he said with a smile.

"You look so different!" she said, running her fingers through his hair.

"So do you!" he exclaimed. "You changed your hair again!"

"God I missed you!"

"I missed you more!"

"Eep!"

"Eep!"

They embraced again, grinning from ear to ear, while I, yet again, stood there holding Chairman Meow. After a few moments of hugging, they pulled back and Camille eyed me for a second.

"And who is this?" she asked Magnus.

"This," Magnus started, pulling me forward by the sleeve of my black shirt. "Is my lovely boyfriend, Alec." He grinned at me and I smiled shyly at Camille.

The blonde, shirtless, woman raised an eyebrow and then nodded. "He's cute," she said. "I approve." Her eyes drifted downward and I think she realized that she was hardly wearing any clothes. "Well," she said. "I should probably get going before I start choking on the sexual tension in the air."

"Don't forget to put a shirt on before you leave," Magnus called to her as she strolled back into the bathroom.

I handed Chairman Meow back to Magnus and sat on the couch with him. "She seems… nice," I said quietly.

"She's actually really awesome once you get to know her," he explained right as she walked back in with a revealing shirt on.

"We definitely need to hang out soon," Camille said, strutting to the door in high heels. "But right now, I've got a date."

"With who?" Magnus asked, walking over to her.

She shrugged and waved her hand. "I don't know," she answered. "Some guy I met at some bar somewhere."

"Riiiiight," he drawled, giving her a quick hug. "Well, get your sexy ass out there. Make sure his pants are too tight by the end of the date, mkay?"

"Of course," she said, leaving the flat with a smirk.

Magnus came back over to me and held out his hand. "Would you like the grand tour?" he asked.

I set Chairman Meow on the floor next to me and nodded, taking Magnus' soft hand. "Sure," I said.

He pulled me along across the living room and through an arched doorway into a brightly lit kitchen, complete with lime green counter tops. Chairman Meow's food bowl was in the corner next to a small table and three chairs.

"This is the kitchen," he said simply, making a sweeping arm gesture at the room. "Knowing Camille, the fridge is probably full of various edible things, so feel free to eat whatever you please. What's mine is yours."

We went back through the archway and into the living room again but took a right and went through a different door. My eyes were assaulted with a canary yellow bedspread and I grinned when I saw that it was Magnus' bed. A vanity was sitting against the wall, right next to a big open window.

"This is my fantabulousticatious bedroom," he said. "The bed was custom made for me, I have back issues, and I'm sure you'll find it quite comfortable."

Off to the side of his room was another door and he opened it, leading me inside. "And, obviously, this is the bathroom," he said. "That other door next to this is my closet but I doubt you want to see that."

"Actually, uh, could I use your shower?" I asked slowly. "That bus ride was pretty long…"

"Yeah, sure," he said, moving out of the way so I had access to the shower/bath combo. "I think there's non-fruity soap in there somewhere."

"I don't mind smelling fruity," I muttered.

"Oh good," he said. "That makes things easier. Just so you know, the water takes longer than most showers to heat up so you might have to let it run for a couple minutes until its warm enough."

"Okay."

Before he left, Magnus gently stroked my cheek and kissed me very softly. "I'm glad you're staying with me," he whispered. My knees turned to jelly and I slumped against the wall behind me.

"Me, too," I whispered back, smiling at him. He pecked my lips once more and left the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I took a moment to gather myself and turned the water for the showerhead on. Magnus was right; it was freezing cold, so I stood in front of the mirror for a while, staring at my reflection and pointing out every imperfection I could see. There were a lot more than I had originally thought.

My eyes were too far apart, my chin was oddly shaped, my nostrils were too big, and my lips were very chapped. I was just looking at how bushy my eyebrows were when Magnus knocked on the door. I wondered how long I had been standing there.

"Hey babe?" he called.

"Yeah?"

"Toss me you clothes," he said. "I'll wash them for you."

"Oh, okay," I muttered. I quickly stripped my clothes off and cracked the door open just enough so I could hand them to him. "Thanks."

"No problem at all, love," he answered, shutting the door again.

The water was hot by then so I hopped under the warm jets, sighing happily. It was great being out of Idris, I felt so much better in an actual house. I scrubbed myself everywhere, noticing that the bruises Sebastian had left _down there_ hadn't even faded that much. They didn't hurt unless I made the stupid decision to forcefully poke them. Six months and they were still purple, yellow around the edges. That was a problem for me.

I used Magnus' grapefruit soap and wrapped a towel around my waist, running my finger through my wet hair in an attempt to tame it. I had no idea where my clothes were so I ventured out into Magnus' room. The door next to the bathroom was where he said his closet was so I opened it and my jaw pretty much hit the ground.

His closet was _huge_. There were drawers and racks of clothes all over the place; a couch was in the corner of the room, too. My eyes were probably about as huge as the room and I walked around in awe. Surprisingly, a washer and dryer sat in the midst of all the clothes where my own articles were spinning around and around.

My underwear was in there.

_Shit_, I thought, staring at the washer. I walked over to wear a bunch of dark pants were hanging and picked out a pair of dark blue silk sweatpants. On the other side of the big room were simple t-shirts. To the left of those were graphic and sparkly t-shirts with a lot of different designs on them. Everything was so freaking complicated and fancy and I was overwhelmed by the amount of fashion around me.

There was a cozy looking sweatshirt on the floor and I picked it up, making sure it was mostly clean. It was bright green and splattered with rainbow paint, the words 'New York City' spelled across the front but I put it on anyway.

The thing that was bothering me was that I had no underwear. I wasn't about to borrow some of Magnus'; I wasn't sure if he would be cool with that. So, as a last resort, I pulled the silk pants on without any boxers and tossed the towel on top of the dryer.

I bit my lip as I caught sight of myself in one of the many mirrors in the room. My hair was messy and the sweatshirt was tighter than I thought on me and the pants hung too low on my hips. I sighed and went into the living room anyways.

Magnus was sitting on the couch with Chairman Meow in his lap, flipping through the channels mindlessly. He turned his head to me when I shut his bedroom door.

I tugged awkwardly at the bright sweatshirt. "I hope you don't mind if I wear this," I muttered. "My clothes weren't done yet."

He smiled and walked over to me, putting his hands on my hips. "You are incredibly cute," he muttered in my ear. "Actually, it's pretty sexy that you're wearing my clothes."

"Thanks," I whispered, slinking my hands up his chest and around his neck. I closed my eyes and sighed into his mouth when he kissed me, being as gentle as a feather. No tongue, just a simple closed-mouth kiss that made my heart go crazy.

**A/N- Woo! I am terrible at ending chapters. Ah well, whatever. Review please? You're lucky I even put this out, my original plan was to end it with Magnus and Alec breaking out of Idris and running away together to live a life of crime, but then I figured they'd have to steal stuff to survive and just end up back in Idris. So that wouldn't have worked. Anyways, review right now because I stayed up to write this damnit. Really, like, review. I am a review whore and the only way to keep me under control is to review like a mad man!  
>-Ella, who likes to drink juice when she's killin cause it's fuckin delicious. <strong>


	17. I Was Trying To Prevent This

**A/N- Thank you for the reviews. Reviews make me happy. I like them. By the way, school starts tomorrow so I will be crunched for time for a while, so let it be known that I will still try to update regularly.  
>Disclaimer- fuck this shit, I don't own the Mortal Instruments series. Meh.<strong>

"You want something to eat, Alexander?" Magnus called from the kitchen after a 'brief' makeout session. Pssh, brief; my lips were bruised.

I was curled up on his couch with Chairman Meow, watching a rerun of American Idol. It was the season with Adam Lambert and I'd do anything to hear him sing so I left it on that channel even though Magnus teased me a bit. Adam Lambert was fantastic, there was no denying it.

"Sure," I said, stroking Chairman Meow's head and grinning when he purred.

"Oh! We have ice cream," Magnus said excitedly. I heard the clanking of bowls and silverware and he came back into the living room with two huge bowls of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. He handed one to me along with a spoon then sat down and snuggled into my side.

"Wow," I said, cradling the bowl in my hands. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to eat this entire mountain of ice cream."

"Luckily for you, I can put away a gallon of ice cream faster than a pregnant woman who hasn't eaten in three days," Magnus stated, completely serious. I turned my head to him and saw that nearly half of his ice cream was gone.

"How the hell did you do that?" I exclaimed.

"Magic," he answered with a grin.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, our empty bowls lay forgotten on the coffee table, leaving sticky rings on an issue of Vogue magazine. Magnus and I were still on the couch, but in a completely different position; he was lying on top of me with his hands on my waist while my head rested on the arm of his very large couch and my arms were around his midsection. It seemed like he suddenly couldn't keep his hands off of me.<p>

His mood had been changing randomly throughout the day. At first he had been hyper, then on the cab ride to his house he was silent and fidgety, he got hyper again after Camille left, then he got kind of bitchy at me but at that moment he was all lovey again.

Needless to say, I was very confused.

But I wasn't exactly complaining either; Magnus was a great kisser. His lips were soft and supple, reminding me of rose petals at times, and he never used too much tongue. Some people (SHARON) were sloppy, wet, slimy kissers and that made my skin crawl. I didn't want my face to be eaten off when someone was supposedly trying to kiss me.

I think Magnus knew my mind was drifting away because he pulled back long enough to look in my eyes before slamming his lips back to mine.

"Say it again," he demanded softly, using a certain tone of voice that made my skin heat up.

"You have to earn it," I muttered shakily.

He smirked and leaned down to kiss me again, moving his tongue across my lips and parting them with his own. The wet muscle snaked into my mouth and I was overcome with the wonderful taste of vanilla.

"Please," he said against my mouth.

My fingers threaded into his hair so I could pull him away far enough to look at his face. "I love you," I said wholeheartedly.

A smile lit up his already beautiful face and he said the words back to me, sounding as graceful as I had ever heard him. His lips found mine again but I had to pull back so I could yawn. He raised his eyebrows, looking amused, and I blushed.

"Am I that bad of a kisser?" he asked jokingly.

"No, not at all," I muttered. "I'm just kind of tired."

"Let's go to sleep them," he said, climbing off of me and rolling off the couch to land on his feet. "It's been a long day."

I stretched my body out on the couch and sighed when my muscles relaxed. "But now I'm all comfortable," I groaned.

Magnus slowly started moving out of the room, keeping his eyes on me that entire time. "Then I guess you'll have to sleep on the couch if you don't get off your lazy bum," he called. "You're going to be cold and lonely and sad."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I muttered, hearing multiple things crack as I got up.

Magnus was already in his room by the time I got up off the couch and I padded quietly to his door. Halfway there, I stubbed my toe on something soft and ended up on my ass on his carpet. Something between a cry, a hiss, and a squeal sounded in the room, yet I wasn't sure if those noises had come from my mouth or not. I looked down curiously and found Chairman Meow on his side, eyeing me carefully. Had he been human, I would have thought that he was about to cry. _I_ was about to cry; I had just stepped on an innocent cat.

"Aw, I'm sorry," I said slowly, picking up Chairman Meow. My hold on him was light as a feather and I brought him to my chest, all the while still sitting on the floor.

Someone chuckled from behind me and I craned my neck to see Magnus standing in his bedroom doorway with is hands on his tan hips, shirtless and wearing a shit-eating grin.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I tripped over Chairman," I said, holding up the aforementioned cat.

"Well, bring 'im here," he said. His accent was randomly getting thicker and I tilted my head at it. "He can sleep in my, _our_ bed tonight."

I got to my feet and followed him to his bed, shutting the door behind me and setting Chairman Meow on the bed with us. Both the feline and I curled ourselves into Magnus' side, falling asleep before he even got the chance to turn the light off. Good thing he had clappers.

* * *

><p>I'm naturally an early riser, so when I opened my eyes at around seven in the morning, Magnus was still very much asleep, his chest rising and falling in a slow, even pattern. In Idris, I never had the chance to watch Magnus sleep. It was ridiculous how beautiful he was, even in his sleep. Hell, he was more beautiful in his sleep than I thought possible. There was a tiny smile pulling at his lips and I unconsciously smiled back at him, though he couldn't see me.<p>

After a few minutes (cough, 45, cough) of staring at Magnus, I couldn't bare the taste of my own breath so I got up to go brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I absolutely positively did NOT want to go to my old house and face the possibility of seeing my parents or Max. What was I going to do about Max? I already knew I was never going to speak to my parents again because they didn't accept their son for who he was, but Max was just a little kid stuck in the middle of a huge family feud. It was a shame that he had to go through so much at such a young age.

I used Magnus' less fruity soap but only because I had a weird feeling that if I smelled like a 'kiwi infused delight of citrus' then my parents would inexplicably find me wandering around our house. I had the weirdest thoughts sometimes.

Magnus was still asleep when I got back into our (I still smiled at the word) room and I awoke him with a kiss after I had thrown my clothes from the day before back on.

"Good morning, sunshine," I whispered to him. I blushed at the random name I had called him but he smiled at me. Not sure what to say next, I kissed him again and he laughed into my mouth, pushing me back a little.

"Whoa there, Tex," he said with a grin. "Wait until I brush my teeth, okay?"

I giggled and sat next to him for a moment, stroking back his hair. "I'm about to leave to get my things," I muttered.

"Oh," he said, moving away from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked after I tugged him back down to the bed by his wrist.

"I just wanted to be there in case something bad happened," he muttered. "You know, for moral support.

"I'll call you as soon as I leave," I said. "Don't worry about me."

"Alright, fine, get a move on, Blue Eyes," he said, giving me a halfhearted smile.

I kissed him one final time before walking out the door to his flat, saying that I loved him. He said it back as he always did and I had a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't completely sure if it was good or not.

The trip to my house had been planned as a get in, get out, go home ordeal, no dilly-dallying or talking to anyone. My siblings (minus Max) were more than likely hung over from the night before and wouldn't be up at eight in the morning, whereas my parents were probably too busy working to notice me sneaking into the house.

I arrived at my house far too early for my liking and unlocked the door with the key we kept under the mat. My old house was huge, like a mansion. My parents were filthy stinking rich and our house even had an elevator. It was a huge shocker to everyone when they found out that the 'perfect little Lightwood boy' turned out to be gay. Society in Manhattan had never been very accepting.

I opened the door and immediately went up to my room, taking the old elevator. When the doors opened up, my heart fell down into my stomach. My mother was standing at the doors, tapping her foot and looking impatient. No doubt she had some work thing she had to do and was going to abandon her children on a Saturday to do whatever it was. We had a moment when we just stared at each other, frozen in a throw down between mother and son, before she spoke.

"Alexander, what are you doing here?" she asked coldly.

I stepped out of the elevator and the doors closed behind me, though they sounded so much louder than I remembered. "Oh," I said. "So I _do_ exist, huh?" My heart was racing and I surprised both myself and my mother by using such a forceful tone.

"I never said you didn't," she insisted.

"Well, that's not what I heard!" I exclaimed, taking another step toward her. I was getting madder by the second.

Her dainty hand reached up to touch my cheek and I instantly flinched away from her touch. She frowned and moved a half step back, pausing to tilt her head up at me.

"What did we do wrong, Alexander?" she asked, referring to my homosexuality.

My face got stony and I glared at her like she used to do to me when I did something bad. "What did you do _wrong_?" I repeated. My voice was getting louder with every word and my blood was boiling. I was definitely not going according to plan; I wasn't supposed to be talking to her in the first place because I knew it would just get me in some sort of trouble. Unfortunately, I wasn't listening to my brain and continued anyway. "You did everything wrong! You paid too much attention to your precious work and never had time for your four children. You left us with the butler, for Christ's sake! All I ever cared about, all Jace, Izzy, Max and I ever cared about was being accepted by our parents. But if we did one thing wrong, stepped out of line _one time_, you couldn't even process it. It was like we weren't your children for weeks at a time. _**What did you do wrong**_**? **You kicked your eldest son out of his house and sent him to boot camp for something he didn't do, after falsely accusing him of trying to kill his little brother and sending him to therapy because he was _gay!_ THAT'S what you did wrong, Maryse!" My voice had risen to a shout and it echoed down the hall, causing my cat Church to scurry off through the door.

Her face had gone pale and her voice came out in a strained whisper. "You have no right to talk to me like that," she said. "I gave up everything for you and your siblings; you don't have any idea what I went through to keep a roof over the four of you."

"You know what that is, _Mom_?" I said, putting emphasis on what I was no longer going to call her. "That is a big, steaming pile of bullshit!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that!" she shouted. Maryse rarely lost her cool; she was a business woman so of course she had a poker face. I knew that I had really gotten into her head when she shouted at me. "Alexander Gabriel Lightwood, I am your mother!"

"My mother," I began in a normal tone of voice, though it was shaking and uneven. "Wouldn't do this to her son." I walked away and left her standing there to stare at the back of my head.

My feet helped me stalk over to my room which was down the hall and to the right. It was exactly the same as I had left it, squeaky clean and very simple.

I immediately went to my closet where I pulled out the bag I used when we went on a family vacation, a.k.a. my parents' trying to make up for the years of lost time with us. The bag was big enough to fit my entire wardrobe so I stuffed every article of clothing I had inside of it along with my usual toiletries and stopped in my tracks when I saw a photo of my parents sitting on my bedside table.

They looked so happy in that photo, but it was just a façade. I knew they would get a divorce as soon as Max was fully recovered and old enough to understand what was happening. Max… I bet I had woken him up with all my shouting. I wanted to see him and Jace and Izzy but that moment wasn't a good time for a visit. I promised myself I'd come back another day, when my parents were out of town, to actually talk to my siblings.

After emptying out the contents of my bedside table, I looked at the picture again and felt my heart clench. The two loving adults in that picture were nothing like the people in the Lightwood residence now. No, they were exact opposites.

In a fit of rage, I smacked the front of the picture with my hand and sent it flying across the room, broken glass cutting the back of my hand and making a horrible crashing sound on my wooden floor. There was only a split second in which I felt bad but it quickly turned back to hatred and rage.

Much to my naïve surprise, my father stopped me on my way down the hall and eyed the bag in my hand. His demeanor was more intimidating than I had ever seen and I was petrified for a moment.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he exclaimed, using the same tone as my mother. "How dare you talk to your own mother like that! What are you even doing here?"

"I'm moving out, obviously," I said, gesturing to the bag. My voice had sounded much like a teenager when I told him that and I would've blushed had I not already been fuming.

"And where, exactly, do you think you're going to live?" he questioned.

_Well_, I thought. _He already hates me. There's nothing left to do but tell him the truth_. "I'm going to live with my _boy_friend," I spit out. "My boyfriend that I met in juvie, my boyfriend that loves me for me, my boyfriend that has treated me better than you or Maryse _ever_ have!"

His eyes met mine and the cold, hard, disappointment and hatred in them made me so scared that my knees started shaking and the room suddenly seemed too small. I had a right to be scared for my life, too. My father, the one who had originally claimed that he and his wife would love me no matter what happened, hit me. His rough hand smacked against the side of my cheek and jaw. I just barely stumbled but it was enough to bring tears to my eyes, and I heard the small sound of him saying 'sick faggot' to me as I caught myself from falling. Robert had never hit me in my life, not once. I didn't understand why he thought that was all of a sudden okay to do. Hadn't he caused enough emotional pain in my life? Why did he need to add physical abuse to it?

So, I did the only thing I could've done. I slung my bag over my shoulder, my pride and dignity horribly bruised.

And walked away.

I gave him the biggest glare I could muster and just walked away from him without another word. He didn't say anything either and turned his back to me to stalk down the hall, mimicking my actions.

Once I had jogged down the stairs and passed Maryse on my way out of the front door, I began walking faster, feeling the sting of Robert's slap and his rejection bring tears to my eyes. There weren't many people walking around in Manhattan but I was pushing past anyone who was in my way. There was no point in getting a cab, as I was walking faster than I needed to with tears streaming down my face.

As soon as I got to Brooklyn, I broke into a run, going immediately to the flat we shared. Had Magnus not been alive, I wouldn't have either. He really was my sunshine, he was the only thing keeping me alive, he was the only happiness in my life that not even my siblings could supply. He had become my life now that my parents were out of the question. I would never forgive them for what they did to me.

I was at the apartment faster than I thought I'd get there and realized I'd forgotten my key. I pressed the buzzer and Magnus' voice came though the speaker.

"What?" he asked grumpily.

All I had to do was say his name and I heard the buzz go off, telling me that the door was unlocked. I threw it open and dropped my bag in front of it, climbing the stairs two at a time. Magnus met me halfway up the stairs, looking bewildered. He caught me in his arms as I collapsed into tears and we sat there, in the middle of the stairway, the sound of me sobbing and him soothing me filling the corridor.

**A/N- Fuck you Maryse and Robert, fuck you. Review review review! I wrote this right after an earthquake shook my town in Virginia and I don't have school tomorrow so I stayed up to write it but didn't edit so sorry if there are any mistakes! Please review, I desperately need your thoughts!**


	18. Lollipops Are The Bomb!

**A/N- None of you stuck up for Maryse or Robert. I love you. *walks around and gives all of you high-fives, hugs, and cookies* Thank you for the reviews! I am almost to two hundred, can you believe it? And I'm fine. The earthquake didn't hurt anyone I know, it's all good.  
>Disclaimer- I own NOTHING but the awesomeness, yo. <strong>

I cried into Magnus' shoulder for what seemed like forever, and his hold on me was tight the entire time. Not once did he let go of me or stop rubbing my back. It was reassuring to know that _someone_ loved me.

After a long while, Magnus finally realized that the back of my hand was still heavily bleeding and he carefully led me upstairs. The encounter with Maryse and Robert had left me shaken and I could hardly stand up but with Magnus' help I made it up the stairs.

He sat me down on his couch and went to grab something from his bathroom; it was a mini first-aid kit. It had everything a normal first-aid kit would have had- rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, Band-Aids, gauze, and everything else you could think of. The thing that made me smile a tiny bit was that it was all in a Toy Story metal lunchbox and included a small glass jar of lollipops. Magnus could make me smile without even doing anything; his normal quirkiness was enough.

"This might sting a little," he said as he pulled out the rubbing alcohol and cotton balls and knelt in front of me. He took the cotton ball and poured a small amount of the rubbing alcohol on it, placing the cold soaked cotton on my hand. It did sting, but not as bad as my father's hand on my cheek. Magnus continued to clean out the cuts, pulling out bits of glass as he went. Once he was done, he put two Toy Story Band-Aids on the back of my hand and gave me a lollipop. It was lime, our shared favorite.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly. The couch cushion sunk down when he sat next to me and I felt his arm go around my waist.

I unwrapped the green lollipop and stuck it in my mouth with a shrug.

"Do you _want_ to talk about it?" he asked.

Sighing, I shook my head and closed my eyes, feeling the waterworks starting back up again. It was just really horrifying to know that my father had hit me. He'd never laid a hand on any of his children and it scared me to death. And it was only because I was _gay_. That wasn't something I could choose about myself, just like I couldn't choose my eye color or my pale skin. If I could control something like that then I would've been straight as a board.

I immediately took back that thought and put my head on Magnus' shoulder, feeling guiltier than ever. If I had been straight, I would've never found what I have with Magnus now. He was my everything. If I hadn't been born gay, I would be empty. There was no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be happy if I was heterosexual.

The shrill sound of my phone ringing made us both jump. My Chemical Romance was blaring out of the speakers on my cell phone, causing it to buzz and nearly vibrate off the coffee table. It was almost ironic, because the song that was playing was one of their more hopeful songs. The chorus was Gerard Way belting out that he was not afraid to keep on living, to walk this world alone. It was the exact opposite of what I was feeling at that moment.

Magnus caught it before it fell and looked at me then back at the piece of plastic. He sighed and flipped it open, all the while looking right at me.

"Hello?" he answered, moving his eyes towards the ceiling. "It's Magnus… Uhm, no, sorry, he's not feeling very well right now… What do you mean you heard yelling? Okay, calm down, he's fine, mostly. Yeah, he's right next to me. Hold on."

Magnus put his hand over the phone and turned to me. "Are you up to talking to anyone?" he asked me. I shook my head vigorously and he brought the phone back up to his ear. "No, he doesn't want to talk… Look, I asked him if he wanted to talk and he shook his head; I'm not going to _make_ him speak to you if he doesn't want to." He sighed and his voice got calmer. "I know you're worried about him, Jace, but he really doesn't want to talk right now. Yeah, I'll tell him you called. Later."

He snapped the phone shut and looked back at me. "Your brother is worried out of his mind," he said.

The lollipop made an odd sound when I took it out of my mouth. "Is he?" I asked, cozying into Magnus' side again.

"Yeah… He said he heard screaming in the hallway," Magnus whispered into my hair. "Do you want to explain that?" If I didn't want to talk to Jace, what made Magnus think I'd want to talk to him?

"Not right now," I muttered. "I-I really don't want to talk about it; I'll just start crying again."

"Alright," he sighed. I closed my eyes at the feeling of him massaging my scalp. "You tired?"

"Mhm," I answered lazily.

"Go back to sleep, then," he suggested.

I slowly got up and went to his room, tossing the leftover lollipop stick in the trashcan as I went. Kicking off my shoes, I collapsed onto his huge, comfortable bed with an equally huge sigh. Magnus appeared in the doorway and gave me a small, sad, but beautiful smile.

"Come here," I muttered, rubbing my tired eyes.

He crawled into bed with me and put his arms back around my waist so we were facing each other, our foreheads pressed together. My lips barely moved when I said his name.

"Hm?" he answered.

"I love you," I whispered. "More than anything in the world."

"I love you, too," he said. "Now go to sleep, okay? I'll wake you in a few hours." He kissed me very softly, like he was afraid he would break me.

Right before I fell asleep, I heard him singing quietly to me and promising that he'd make me happy again. He didn't need to promise; he'd already made me happier than I'd ever been.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, the smell of something cooking in the kitchen made me wake up. Magnus wasn't next to me and I figured he was probably in the kitchen so I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My mouth still tasted like lime lollipop when I smacked my lips and I got up to pad softly to the kitchen.<p>

Magnus was talking quietly on my cell phone while he used his other hand to stir something that was sitting on the stove. When he saw me, he shushed the person on the other line and smiled.

"Hey sweetness," he said happily. "Your sister wants to come over and catch up; when is a good time for her to drive over?"

I shrugged and sat at the counter where I could see what he was cooking. It was spaghetti sauce. I didn't really want to see Izzy because she'd probably bother me, but it was an excuse to not talk about what happened earlier so I told Magnus she could come over right then.

He squealed slightly and told Isabelle to come over 'ASAP.' It seemed to me like he had forgotten about my refusal to talk that morning and was too excited about having his friend over to really care. Sometimes, Magnus could really act like a child. It was actually pretty cute.

It was silent for a second, just the sound of the sauce sizzling in the pan. "So," he said slowly. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Kind of," I admitted. "My head is all over the place right now so I'm not really sure."

"Ooh," he said. "Would a lollipop make you feel better?"

I chuckled a little and shook my head. "No, that's fine."

"Whatever you saaaaay," he sung. "But lollipops make the world go rooouuuund."

"You've got a pretty voice," I said randomly.

His eyebrows furrowed together and he smirked a little. "I would take that as a compliment if I were a woman, but…"

"Oh, excuse me," I said with a grin. "I meant to say that you have a… _handsome_ voice. Are you happy now?"

"Quite," he answered. He poured noodles into a pot of boiling water and stirred them up for a moment before turning back to me. "Go change into something cute," he said, eyeing my crumpled jeans and t-shirt. "Your sister is coming over. Look alive, sunshine."

"I thought you were sunshine," I muttered.

He gave me a look that told me we were both sunshine, no matter whether I liked it or not.

"Fine, fine," I said, standing up. I had just walked out of the kitchen when I popped my head back in and smiled at him. "Just for the record, you make me feel better more than any lollipop could." Yes, I admit, that was oddly random, even for me, but it came into my mind and I felt like Magnus needed to know how happy he made me.

"Aww, thanks babe," he said as he walked over to me. His lips pecked my nose and we smiled at each other. "I could say so many perverted things about that but I'm refraining from doing so because you're you."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered.

He chuckled at my expression but quickly got serious again. "Really though, put something decent on," he said.

I nodded and walked away to find something alright to put on. My thoughts were going to whether or not I had any jeans that didn't have holes in them as I paused in the doorway when Magnus' hand suddenly smacked my butt.

"Get a move on," he said in my ear. "She was already halfway out the door when I hung up."

**A/N- Wooooooooooooooow I haaaaaattteee thhhhiiissss chhhaappptteerrr! Meh, oh well. I have a proposition for ya'll- will you pretty, pretty please with extra Malec and sprinkles and chocolate syrup and LEMONNNNNNNNNNNNS (hint, hint) on top? I'd love it if I could get to 200 reviews! My two-hundredth reviewer gets lots of virtual goodies from me! And I'd be happy. And happiness=longer, better, lemony-er chapters! LEMONS I TELL YOU, THEY'RE COMING! (OOOOOOOHHHHH, double meaning!)  
>AND! Also, there were like… four MCR references in here. If you can find at least two (minus the OBVIOUS one), you get H-U-G-S-! Because a fan of MCR is a friend of mine *grins like the crazy person she is*<strong>

I'm leaving now.  
>-Ella, who is not afraid to keep on living. Because if she were dead, pie wouldn't exist! D:<p> 


	19. Cat's Out Of The Bag Now

**A/N- Warning, this is a very excited, very long, very hyper author's note. You have been cautioned~~~ HURRAY! I GOT TWO-HUNDRED REVIEWS! Literally, I went to bed with 199 reviews, then after school today I checked and I had 211! (213 now) WIN! Beasty95, you are my amazingtastical 200****th**** reviewer! CONGRATULATIONS! *Turns on Adam Lambert song and dances with you along with all of my other reviewers, throws confetti in the air, turns disco ball on, everyone parties hard, passes out cookies that have Magnus' and Alec's faces on them, celebrates madly* Woo, that was fun! BEASTY95- I LOVE YOU. Girl, boy, dog, whatever, I love you 'cause you reviewed like three times in one night ^.^ So thanks to you and everyone else who reviewed/favorited/alerted/ this and all that jazz!  
>ALSO- QuartzEiffel, malec 4 eva, and Freakin-little, you get extra love and brownies from me for catching the MCR references. For those of you who don't know, MCR stands for My Chemical Romance which is my favoritest band ever. The references were~ the song on Alec's phone was Famous Last Words by them of course, Look Alive Sunshine is one of their catchphrases, Alec said at one point 'Gee, thanks' and the singer's name is Gerard, Gee to his friends. That last one doesn't really count but whatever...<br>WOW, that was a long note. Ah well. ON WITH THE STORY!  
>Disclaimer- Bitch, I didn't steal no fucking Mortal Instruments. Shoot. <strong>

_Decent_, I thought again. _Put on something decent_. _I can do that... right?_

I had originally thought that a mouse had gotten into my wardrobe when I found that almost every pair of pants I owned had some sort of hole in them. But no, I just had sucky taste in fashion. It was embarrassing, I'll admit that.

Magnus was standing next to me, his face scrunched up like it always did when he was thinking hard about something. He knew everything there was to know about fashion and his closet needed its own apartment so he asked if I wanted to borrow something of his.

"That depends," I said. "What exactly do you want me to wear?"

With a flick of his finger, Magnus gestured for me to follow him to his huge-ass closet. We walked past the washer/dryer combo and went over to the rows upon rows of nothing but jeans. Magnus had told me the night before that he had them organized- it went from jeggings (which looked like jeans but were actually some odd material they used for leggings… I thought it was weird), to super-skinny jeans, then normal skinny jeans, straight legs, boot-cut, normal jeans, flares, and finally, super-flares. He literally had every type of jeans on the planet stuffed into his closet. It was almost scary.

He handed me a dark pair of skinny jeans and smiled. "Try these," he said. "They might be a little long, but they look cute if they bunch at the bottom, especially on you."

I held the jeans like they would explode if I moved the wrong way and only looked at him. "I'm not wearing skinny jeans," I stated.

His long-fingered hand swiped the jeans from me, making a small _swish_ing sound. "Well," he said, smirking. "If you don't want skinny jeans, I could always take you over to the miscellaneous section."

"And what does that consist of?" I asked skeptically.

"Leather-"

"_No_," I said immediately.

"Then just wear the skinnies," he said as he pressed the aforementioned jeans into my palms.

I said, "No," once more and pouted at him. "Can't I wear the normal, not skinny, jeans?"

Magnus stuck out his bottom lip and stomped his foot. "But you have dynamite legs," he whined, jumping up and down like a child.

"Dynamite legs?" I repeated.

"_Yes,_" he insisted. "They're perfect and skinny jeans will make your bum look even greater!" He sure was giving me a lot of compliments that day…

"Let's compromise," I suggested. "I'll wear the straight leg ones but they have to be black so we're both happy. How about that?"

"That works for me." My fashion-crazed boyfriend took the skinny jeans out of my hand, replacing them with the straight leg ones. "Now, quick like a bunny, sweetheart," he said. "Izzy should be here soon and I haven't even done my hair! Good thing I already have my clothes ready." He gazed down at himself in admiration and grinned at me.

He was decked out in white super skinny jeans, and I mean _**super**_skinnyjeans, along with bright aqua socks that went with his multi-colored shirt and green vest. I had to say, he did look very good.

"Don't forget to put on that tight black shirt I showed you," he said to me, gesturing to the corner of the room where it lay. "Get dressed, gorgeous; I'll see you in a few."

Once he was out of the room, I stripped off my torn jeans and put the straight leg ones on. They were a tiny bit tighter than what I was used to, but I could move just fine in them. That black V-neck shirt Magnus had shown to me was tight, too; I felt fat in it. Feeling fat made me feel like a teenage girl which made me feel pathetic. I was suddenly having body-image issues and I didn't know why. It wasn't because Magnus didn't compliment me, he did that all the time, but it was just foggy upstairs in the depths of my mind for some odd reason. I decided not to dwell on it and came out of the closet **(A/N- LAUGH) **in search of Magnus.

I found him sitting at his vanity, humming to himself and slopping immense amounts of gel in his hair. Personally, I preferred his hair long and down, it was easier to run my fingers through, but he was spiking up the back and top front of his hair. The sides and a bit of the back were left down, though, and it looked like a halo of spikes. He added a splash of green and blue glitter then started applying black eyeliner.

"You sure are putting a lot of work into your image for my sister," I commented.

"It's not work," he said, spinning around in his chair to look at me. "I love it." His eyes roamed over my body and I subconsciously blushed. Magnus was always blatantly checking me out but I still wasn't used to the attention he gave me.

"That shirt is totally sexy on you," he muttered.

"Really?" I asked. I eyed myself and tugged on the hem of it, feeling self-conscious.

"Absolutely," he said with a smile. "It shows off your muscles."

I smiled shyly and a bit sadly, shaking my head. "I don't have muscles."

"Pfft." With a fast stride, he crossed the room and took me by the wrist, dragging me over to his mirror.

"Magnus, don't-"

"Shh." His fingers crawled up my shirt and lifted it up enough to show my stomach. "_Muscles_." I winced at my reflection and only saw the imperfections in it. "You've got an eight pack," he continued, poking my stomach with his index finger. "I can actually count all of them."

"Alright, alright," I said, shoving his hands away from me and tugging my shirt back down. "I believe you."

At that moment, his apartment's buzzer went off and he raised his eyebrows at me before going into the hallway to let Isabelle in. Much squealing was heard from them and I sighed, bracing myself for the onslaught of fashion talk and questions about my feelings.

"I got you something," I heard Izzy say.

Magnus thanked her a million times when he saw whatever it was and I assumed it was those designer boots she'd gotten him for his birthday. I was right; for when I walked in, Magnus was wearing knee-high boots that were about the same color as his socks.

"Oh, hey Alec," Izzy said, sounding calmer all of a sudden.

Someone from behind her said my name in the doorway and she shifted to the side to reveal the blonde devil, Jace.

Saying that there was an awkward silence in the room would've been an understatement.

"I didn't know you were bringing Jace with you," I said slowly.

My brother and sister stepped forward and closed the door behind them. "Yeah," Izzy said. "Magnus told me to bring him."

I stiffly turned to Magnus and said through my teeth, "Didyou?"

"Yup, dude," Jace said, strolling into the apartment like he owned the damn place. "Got any food? I'm starving."

"You always are," I muttered to myself.

"There's spaghetti in the kitchen," Magnus said.

"Sweet." Jace sauntered off in search of food and a few minutes later the rest of us joined him in the dining room, all of us helping ourselves to the spaghetti.

"So," Magnus said, trying in vain to stir up some conversation. "What's the most groundbreaking gossip in Manhattan right now?"

Isabelle immediately launched into a fascinating story about how Aline Penhallow cheated on her boyfriend what's-his-name but her boyfriend had actually already cheated on her with another guy because he was bi-curious and she secretly had a crush on some girl or whatever and I really couldn't have cared less. There seemed to be a lot more closeted gays in my highschool than I remembered and all while Izzy was telling us (Magnus) this, she was texting away on her phone. I swear she lives on that thing. By the time she was done, all of us were done eating, even Jace who'd had two helpings.

Magnus' hand remained on my thigh the entire time, and I blushed when Jace raised his eyebrows at me. Said golden-eyed boy nudged my foot under the table and I looked at him.

"You wanna tell me what happened this morning?" he whispered to me.

"Now's not the time," I muttered out of the side of my mouth.

He stepped onto my toe, harder than necessary, and I bit my lip to hold back my gasp. "Now is a great time," he insisted.

"_Oh my freaking Adam Lambert!_" Izzy suddenly exclaimed, gaping at her phone. "Aline's cousin just asked me out via text message!"

"Who's her cousin again?" Jace asked, only half-interested.

"Sebastian something or other," she said. "You know, pale skin, black hair, weird eyes."

I realized who she was talking about and my heart flew across the room along with my stomach and I knew I had paled dramatically when the three of them looked at me questioningly. Magnus' eyes held something I hadn't seen before, too. He was expecting me to do something…

"_Do not_ go out with him," I barely said.

She raised her eyebrow and shrugged, typing away on her phone again. "I wasn't going to," she said. "He's annoying and I've got Simon anyways. Why do you hate him so much?"

Magnus eyed me and muttered, "You didn't tell them?"

"Tell us what?" Izzy asked.

"Well, I'm sorry," I whispered to Magnus. "But I didn't exactly have the time to tell them. Was I supposed to message it to them telepathically?" I didn't know why I was whispering, the table was small enough that they could hear us, but it was force of habit.

"Tell us _what_?" Izzy asked again.

"You could have told them in all of the fucking letters you sent!" Magnus countered.

"_Tell us what?_"

"That's not something you just tell someone through a letter!"

Jace and Isabelle shouted at us in unison. "_TELL US WHAT_?"

Magnus and I looked up from our frantic whispering and sat straight in our chairs. "Tell them," he said. "Now is as good a time as any."

"Look," I said, moving my eyes toward my empty plate. "Sebastian was in Idris with us and he was… he _is_ insane."

"How do you figure?" Jace asked, confused.

"His eyes give him away, he's unhinged," Magnus said. He gripped my hand as a way to encourage me on. He knew that even though it was over six months ago I still hated talking about it, and yet he was making me tell me siblings.

"I was beaten up by him and his friends for a while and then one day he cornered me in the bathroom," I said, pausing as I felt my heart clench at the memory. It took me a moment to gather myself enough that I could form a sentence. My voice was hardly making its way across the table when I next spoke and my siblings waited anxiously for my words. "And he, uhm… he…" I took a silent breath. "He raped me."

Their faces held a variety of fast moving emotions- confusion, realization, anger, grief, and a whole lot of pity. Isabelle's fingers froze on her keyboard and her mouth opened and closed a few times.

Jace was the first to speak, breaking the tense silence. "Are you fucking serious?" he asked incredulously.

I nodded tersely.

"That sick son of a bitch," he breathed.

"Alec, I…" Izzy started, as a loss for words. "I had no idea, I'm so, so sorry." She closed her sliding phone and shoved it in her purse, nearing the point of tears.

"You don't need to be sorry," I said. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel like I should've known about this…"

"When did it happen?" Jace asked suddenly. I could tell that his brotherly protectiveness was coming out like it always did when someone messed with me. When we were back in highschool, he would almost always threaten the people who picked on me.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "Late January? Okay, I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"Well, are you seeing anyone about this?" Jace asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, have you gone to any therapy sess-?"

"No," I cut him off. "And I don't plan on it. I'm fine if I don't think about it."

"Alexander, darling," Magnus started. "I don't think pushing it to the back of your mind will help."

My grip on his hand had started making my knuckles turn white but I didn't let go. "It's working so far," I muttered.

"You already told us one bad thing, so why don't you tell us what happened this morning, too?" Jace said. "Izzy here slept through it and I'm sure we all want to know. Unless you told Magnus before you told us like you do with everything." I couldn't believe he was jealous of me telling Magnus things before I told them. The only thing I told him first was the Sebastian ordeal, and that was only because he witnessed it.

"All that happened was that Maryse and Robert argued with me over where I was living," I said. "That's really the gist of it, you don't the detail and, quite frankly, I don't want to go into it right now."

My voice had risen and Izzy shrunk away from me for a moment while Jace sighed and ran his hands through his hair. A strained silence filled the room until my brother cleared his throat. Magnus remained quiet but he gazed at me like he knew I was hiding something.

"Since we're spilling secrets," Jace started. "I have something to say as well." He paused for what seemed like dramatic effect. "Clary is pregnant."

"_What_?" Izzy and I exclaimed.

He grinned at us and chuckled. "I'm totally kidding," he chortled. "Just wanted to lighten the mood."

No matter the situation, you could always count on Jace to try and make things funny but just end up irritating people.

**A/N- I can't end chapters to save my life, but it doesn't matter now. Did you like my HUGE FUCKING AUTHOR'S NOTE UP THERE? ^^^^^ Did you read it? No? WELL GO DO THAT NOW!  
>Sorry for the lack of lemony goodness in this chapter, but it's definitely coming! (HA!) I've already told Jess that there will be a ton of passionate love-making in the future between Alec and Jace! BAHA, I'm kidding. It'll definitely be Magnus and Clary. STILL KIDDING. IT'LL BE MALEC FOREVER, BITCHES! (I'm not really calling you bitches, it's just a phrase I use.)<br>OH! **_**AND REVIEW LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THE MORE YOU ASK FOR THEM, THE MORE LEMONS THERE WILL BE! I JUST HAVE TO BE ENCOURAGED! **_** *sly grin*  
>REVIEW!<br>-Ella, who is a nutcase, and is totally okay with it. **


	20. Ice Cream Ain't Half Bad, Either

**A/N- I loved your many amazingtastical reviews! And yes Bee, you DO get brownie points. *hands you brownies* you're welcome and I miss you, too. Stupid school always gets in the way of awesome people.  
>SO, there WILL be lemons galore in later chapters; you gotta give me a little while to gather my thoughts, though. I'm like Alec; things are all jumbled up in there. And I'm talking about my brain. Besides, I can't just have Alec and Magnus randomly make passionate love have sex/ do the nasty/ bump uglies/ touch fun parts/ do adult pushups/ go at it like rabbits without some type of pre-sex plotline. Are ya catching my drift?  
>Disclaimer- I OWN EVERYTHING! *gets tackled by evil lawyers of doom* KIDDING, KIDDING, I OWN <strong>**NOTHING!**

Jace and Izzy told me that things at home were pretty tense. Mom… I mean Maryse and Robert had been fighting more than usual and their arguments usually ended up with them sleeping in separate rooms. Max had left the day before for summer camp for a few weeks and when I skeptically asked what kind of camp it was Jace happily said that it was superhero camp. I should've seen that coming.

There was an awkward pause around three in the afternoon when my ex-mother called, hysterically asking them where the hell they were. Being himself, Jace told her exactly where they were and she started screaming at him. So what did he do? He hung up and grinned at me.

"Looks like we've got to head out," he said somewhat sarcastically, standing up and walking to the living room.

Izzy, Magnus, and I followed him, all emotionally drained. Us three Lightwoods stopped at the door and Isabelle pulled Magnus off to the side to discuss a time and place in which they could meet up with Ragnor for lunch. Jace on the other hand got very serious and spoke to me in a low voice.

"I cannot believe Sebastian did what he did to you," he said through his teeth. "That monster was in our house last week. I let a _rapist_ into the house with a little boy there."

I ran my fingers through my hair and down my face, sighing in my palms. That word almost sent me over the edge every time someone said it. "Jace, you couldn't have known what he did," I said quietly. "Don't punish yourself over this, because I know you'll start doing that."

"It's just…" He paused and met my eye. "I'm really sorry all of this shit happened to you."

"Don't worry. I'll get through it," I said. "I've got Magnus to help me."

Jace saw me gaze at my boyfriend and he cleared his throat. "If you ever need someone else to talk to, you know Isabelle and I are here," he said.

"I know." I gave him a small smile and he barely returned it.

Suddenly seeming uncomfortable, Jace rubbed the back of his neck and his eyes drifted towards the floor but never really stayed put. "I love you, bro." His voice was small enough that neither Magnus nor Isabelle could hear him. I could barely hear him.

"I love you, too," I muttered. I held out my arms and smirked at him, wiggling my fingers. "You know you want to."

He smirked back at me and walked into my arms, slowly putting his own around my torso. The brotherly hug was quick and tiny, as Jace wasn't the greatest at expressing affection -I had no idea how he and Clary managed to stay together- so, after a small smile, he walked out the door to wait for Izzy in the car, while she finished her conversation with Magnus.

"Bye, Alec," she said in my ear. Her hug was much different than Jace's; she almost broke my ribs again. Then she did something she hadn't done since we were kids- she kissed my forehead. "If anything else happens with Max, I'll call you," she said. "Bye Magnus." He smiled and closed the door behind her, turning to me immediately.

"You big, fat, liar," he said.

I blinked at him. "What?"

"You told them that you and your parents just had an 'argument,'" Magnus stated. "That's total bullshit."

"I didn't lie to them!" I exclaimed. What I told them wasn't necessarily a _lie_, but it wasn't the whole truth either. It wasn't lying; just not telling.

"Alexander, _please_," he said, tossing his hands on his hips. "You came home sobbing your eyes out and your left cheek was bright red. Would you have called that a simple argument?"

"Why didn't you say anything when I came home then?" I asked, turning the conversation around.

"Again, because you were _sobbing_," he said. "And it wasn't simple little crying or anything, no, you were almost hysterical. It hurt my heart to hear you like that and I wasn't about to ask you why you had a handprint on your face!"

I didn't answer him.

He stopped and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I don't want to push you into telling me something that you don't want to say, but I know that if I don't _make _you tell me you'll _never_ tell me."

"Okay, fine," I snapped. "You wanna know what happened, Magnus?"

"Yes, that would be nice!"

"My stupid fucking father slapped me and called me a sick faggot!" I yelled at him. "Are you happy now?"

"No," he said quietly, his voice a whisper compared to mine. "Now I feel like a jackass." His steps toward me made a _shuff_ing sound across the carpet and I had to resist the urge to flinch away from him when he touched my chin. I looked down to his boots instead. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"That's what everyone's been saying," I spit out. "I'm sorry your brother was hurt, I'm sorry you had to go to Idris, I'm sorry you got raped, I'm sorry your own fucking dad hit you. I don't want your pity, too. And I don't need your apology, either. None of you did anything wrong."

"I'm not trying to apologize," he said. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry that all of these horrible things have happened to you. I don't pity you; not in the least."

"Oh." I put my head on his shoulder and his arms slid around my waist, leaving Goosebumps in their wake.

"You know, sometimes my dad would hit me, too," Magnus said. "But only when he was drunk."

I gave him a sideways glance and asked, "How did they die?"

He moved his head in a nonchalant way like I bet he would have if he shrugged. "My mom didn't have the best immune system and she got really sick. My dad though… I think he died because his wife died." He paused and rested his chin on my head. "The first time he hit me was a few months after she died and he just couldn't handle it after a while. Once the love of his life was gone, he lost his will to live."

"But he had you," I muttered.

"I wasn't her, though."

"So he died of a broken heart?" I asked.

"Exactly… I thought I told you this story before," he mused.

"No."

"Whups."

"How can you talk about it so easily?" I asked.

"I guess I'm used to it," he said. "It's been nearly eight years since my mom passed, five since my dad. The idea of them being gone doesn't bother me."

"That's sad." I had almost said 'I'm sorry' out of habit but then I would've been a hypocrite and my point five minutes ago would've been shot down.

A tiny chuckle vibrated through his chest and he said, "I know." He pulled back to look at me and a sad smile tugged at his lips. "We need to do something happy," he stated. "I never took you out for that ice cream I promised and -like lollipops- ice cream makes the world go round."

"I'd love that," I said.

His fingers crawled up my palms and laced with my own fingers, holding them up on both sides of our bodies. "And we're not going to talk about anything depressing, alright?" he asked. "No dead parents, no mentally unhinged bastards, no nothing- just plain happiness. Promise?"

"Promise." I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, smiling when he gasped a tiny bit.

"Let's go now, then," he said. "We can get ice cream, then maybe have some dinner and see a movie or something."

"You're very spontaneous," I commented.

"Yes, I know," he purred in my ear. "It's one of my best qualities."

**A/N- Okay, I give you an awesome chapter yesterday and then this short, stupid mother [CENSORED] piece of [CENSORED] Hey… [CENSORED] you, censorship. REVIEW NOW! I want your reviews pretty please! The next chapter will be cute and sweet but maybe a little… sour. *evil laugh*  
>-Ella, who believes that lemonade is de-fucking-licious. (Emphasis on <strong>_**fucking**_**…)**


	21. Sticky Kisses With Sprinkles

**A/N- YOUR REVIEWS SPIN MY HEAD RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND WHEN YOU POST THEM WHEN YOU POST THEM! I totally just blew off that one song by whomever the fuck it was but that's because I love you guys but in a friendly way.  
>BEE! *GLOMP* I missed you!<br>Lil Badass Kaulitz, YES I AM VERY HYPER! TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!  
>CEntErOfTHeSuN (did I do that right?), OMG you used mah nickname! WOOT! *virtual fist bump* usually, peeps just call me Ella or Crazy Hyper Author Person. That made me smile, you've got no idea.<br>ON WITH THE CHAPTER THAT MAY HAVE LEMONS IN IT. I'M NOT SURE YET. LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS. ARE YOU READING THIS BY SCREAMING IN YOUR HEAD? I KNOW I AM. MY FAMILY IS SO CONFUSED.  
>Disclaimer- *sigh* I own nothing… YET. *evil laugh*<strong>

I'm not one hundred percent sure why, but Magnus absolutely _insisted_ on changing his outfit before we left for the ice cream parlor near the park. Apparently, he wanted to 'show me something special.' I was a little worried because, well, it was _Magnus_ but I was pleasantly surprised.

Unbeknownst to me, Izzy had also given Magnus his much anticipated gift of his yellow with purple letters spelling out 'I love NYC' shirt. He paired it with purple tiger print leather pants, a red belt, red combat boots, and yellow, red, and purple glitter in his hair. He was very sexy but I couldn't help but wonder where on Earth he got those pants.

"You look… nice," I finished lamely.

"_Nice_?" he parroted. "I look damn sexy and you are very aware of that."

I smiled at his egotistical tendencies and nodded shyly. "You _do_ look sexy. I'll admit that."

"Damn straight," he muttered, swiftly walking over to me and capturing my lips with his in an unexpectedly heated kiss. I returned it with full force and felt my cheeks warm up when he pulled back to grin at me.

"That was random," I commented.

"But it was hot, right?" he asked.

"Yes, it was," I said.

Magnus took my hand and faced the door. "Shall we precede, good sir?" Trying not to laugh at how cheesed up he had made his accent, I took his hand and nodded.

"We shall."

* * *

><p>"So you're telling me that someone is convinced that Lady Gaga is really Justin Bieber's alter-ego?" Magnus nodded enthusiastically and licked the top scoop of his double chocolate with rainbow sprinkles ice cream cone. "But that's not possible," I said. "Lady Gaga actually has <em>talent<em>."

He laughed against the top scope of his cone and smiled at me, taking my hand in his. We had just gotten our ice cream cones and were walking down a small dirt path in a quaint park. It was a beautiful day out (or maybe Magnus was making the world seem brighter) and there were lots of people outside that day. For the first time in a long time, I was feeling much better about things. I was suddenly an optimist.

I think it took Magnus about twenty minutes to simply pick an ice cream flavor. The little parlor we had gone to literally had ever single type of ice cream known to man. There were the usual flavors like chocolate, orange sherbet, vanilla, cookie dough, and mint chocolate chip, etcetera. But then there were confusing and bizarre flavors like cotton candy, potato chips, tomato soup, cherry Coca-Cola, and _bacon_. That last one made no sense to me, but Magnus actually considered it as an option for him. For such a small place, they sure had a lot of choices. Different cones and toppings could be picked as well so add that to seventy million flavors plus Magnus Bane and you will get a very irritated server along with a huge line. I probably would've been laughing if I wasn't so embarrassed.

Much later, he ended up picking the milk chocolate with rainbow sprinkles because I said it reminded me of him. When he questioned this by raising his eyebrow, I explained that the lightly colored chocolate was his skin and the sprinkles were his wardrobe/personality. He took that as a huge compliment and bought it immediately while I stuck with a simple scoop of vanilla/chocolate swirl.

At that moment he was still giggling about my Justin Bieber has no talent comment. "That was a good one," he muttered.

I let go of his hand when I noticed something and he frowned at me, looking a bit hurt. With an amused smile, I brought my hand up to wipe away a stray sprinkle from his mouth and took his hand again. He smiled back at me and licked his ice cream.

New York had a lot of gay couples after they legalized same-sex marriage and I'd already seen a few people like us holding hands. I had no problem showing affection with my boyfriend. I wasn't going to go full-blown makeout session with him, but holding hands was nice. Even though my pair of jackasses (a.k.a. Maryse and Robert) were absolutely against anything that wasn't straight as a ruler, I was pretty confident in my sexuality. Magnus had taught me that there was nothing wrong with it and I believed him. If you're looking for a flamboyant, confident, slightly egotistical gay man then Magnus was your guy. Nothing could faze him.

"Hey," I muttered. "Look." I lifted up our linked hands and used my index finger to point across the path for a second. Magnus followed my finger and smiled bigger when he saw what I was pointing at. Two really pretty women were holding hands and strolling down the path. They kind of looked like us; one of them was wearing lots of bright colors and high heeled shoes, while the other was in jeans and a hoodie. Their faces lit up when they saw us and they waved, smiling big. We waved back and continued down the path.

"If we were women, I bet we'd look like that," Magnus mused.

I laughed and nodded, swirling my cool ice cream against my tongue. My head snapped over to Magnus when I heard a crunch and I raised my eyebrow at his demolished ice cream cone. He was already half way done with eating the chocolate drizzled cone and I just shook my head.

"You and your ice cream," I murmured softly.

"Well, it is amazing. And pretty much the only source of calcium I have." The very last piece of the cone disappeared into his mouth and he crunched on it happily.

"You don't drink milk or anything?" I asked. My own ice cream was barely gone and I wondered how Magnus didn't have a brain freeze. He was probably immune to them.

"No, I do not drink milk or anything," he stated. "Milk makes my tummy hurt and cheese… the taste just doesn't appeal to me. Everyone, including the one doctor I went to, kept telling me that I need more calcium. So, I ate ice cream. Problem solved."

"I'm sure you could take vitamins for that."

He grinned at me. "I'd rather eat ice cream."

"You want mine?" I offered offhandedly.

"I couldn't take away your ice cream," he said.

"But I want you to have it."

It was snatched out of my hands in a split second and I barely had time to blink before Magnus was licking it. "Thanks babe," he said, giving me a sticky kiss on the cheek. I grimaced and wiped it off with the back of my hand. "You don't like my kisses?" he asked.

"Your kisses are great," I assured him. "I just don't like what's on the other end of your kisses."

"Your cheek?" he questioned. His head was tilted to the side and he was pouting, making him seem like an angry puppy. Ever seen an angry puppy before? Well, I've got a good image of one and it's pretty damn cute.

"No, it's the half melted ice cream on your lips."

"You don't like ice cream kissies?"

"Only because they're sticky."

He puckered his lips and tried to plant them back on my cheek but I grabbed the sides of his mouth and stopped him. "Pretty please?" he asked with his lips squished together like a fish. It sounded more like 'pwettwy pwease?'

"Later," I said. "We should leave now if we want to catch the movie."

"Let's get going then," he said, tossing the rest of my ice cream cone in his mouth.

The drive to the movie theater wasn't too long and we held hands the entire cab ride there. Magnus started complaining of a brain freeze and I almost died laughing. He just gave me a look and continued on with his complaining.

We decided to see Captain America instead of the other crap they were playing. I originally wanted to see that cute one about talking birds but he wanted to see some 'hot sweaty guys.' Then he quickly added, "Besides you of course."

Magnus Bane literally has the bladder of an infant. He has to pee every two hours of the day and it amazed me that he could hold that much pee. So I waited in the back of the theater, watching one hundred different previews, while he drained the lizard.

There weren't many people there which was a bit odd because it was a Saturday afternoon. I had seen on a flyer somewhere that a really famous author was doing book signings at one of the book stores in Manhattan. I forget her name now, it was like Cassie Claire or something. I'd never heard of her.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out of my pants. It was Izzy.

_Hey bro. how ya holdin up?_

I smiled at my screen and slide the phone to reveal my keyboard, quickly texting an answer.

**I feel a lot better, thanks. **

_Good… Y r u so proper w/ ur txting?_

I rolled my eyes and clicked away on my phone, trying to keep up with her text lingo.

**Because I feel like it. And I have a full keyboard so I might as well use it.**

_-_- ok then. watchya doin?_

**I'm on a date with Magnus :)**

_AWWWWW! xD Where r u 2 at?_

**The movies. Well, I'm waiting for him in the theater, he had to use the little boys room.**

_Lol U r unbelievably cute together!_

**Thanks :)**

_:) well ill let u go have fun with ur bf. Tell Mgs I said hi. Luv u. _

**I will. Love you too.**

Magnus came back at that moment, holding a huge bucket of popcorn and two sodas. He bypassed the many empty seats in the theater and sat next to me, handing over one of the sodas.

"Cherry Coke, just how you like it," he muttered in my ear.

"Thanks," I answered. "You know me so well."

"Of course I do."

We dug into that popcorn like there were diamonds at the bottom and when half of the previews were gone, so was half of our bucket of popcorn.

"I feel like such a pig," I said, looking down at my stomach.

"Don't you mean _rainbow_?" he asked sarcastically.

I laughed quietly and turned off my cell phone after being reminded six times by the annoying woman on the screen. "I mean pig," I said.

"Alexander, anyone would scarf down popcorn after being in Idris for a year," he said.

"It _is_ nice to have some real food."

"You could hardly count movie theatre popcorn as real food, but I know what you mean," he said. "Do I get my kiss now?"

In the darkened space of the theater, in our tiny little corner, I was very content with kissing my boyfriend. I leaned forward and pressed our lips together, melting at the feeling of his hand resting on my thigh again.

He pulled back and I saw his eyes shine in the dark. "I am so adding this to the list," he said.

"What list?"

"The mental one I made of all of the places we've kissed," he explained. "So far I've got prison, a prison bathroom, a prison roof, a prison supply closet, a prison cafeteria, a park, my house, my couch, and the very dark corner of a movie theater."

"That's a pretty long list," I commented.

"We should make it longer…"

**A/N-I suck at ending things, OH WELL. NO lemons yet, I am sorry, but I have this idea now so they won't be here for like… four more chapters… aha, please don't throw various items at me. When those lemons do explode via Fanfiction, They Will Be Amazing. I will write, rewrite, and re-rewrite those motherfucking lemons until you have to go take a couple dozen cold showers, mkay? You catch my drift? Yeah? Well then REVIEW NOW OR PERISH. No not really, but reviews make me happier than a baby on crack. Yes, so please please please review! I just live off of those things, I swear!  
>-Ella, who now has an excuse to readwrite more lemons ;) _Hellllllls yessss_. I mean, ahem, yay. **


	22. WalMart Adventures of Epicness!

**A/N- REVIEWS ARE SO FUCKING GREAT! I love 'em. Hey everyone, you know that outfit Magnus was wearing in the last chapter? Well, I drew a picture of it. I have a deviantART so I'll post it on there probably tomorrow. My username is MCRSavedMyLife512, just in case you wanna look at it one day.  
>ONWARD AND UPWARD AND FORWARD AND BACKWARD AND DOWNWARD. Lol wut<br>Disclaimer- shit, bro, I seriously don't own anything. Quit asking.  
>quick WARNING: this is one of those crack chapters I talk about. Beware the crack! *giggle* that sounds dirty…<strong>

My mouth, tongue, hands, and every other part of my anatomy were completely focused on the utter amazingness that was Magnus Bane. We were still in the corner of the theater, making out for a longer period of time than I think we ever had. Magnus had cleverly called it 'snogging' at one point and I laughed against his lips. I was very thankful that there were only like three other people in the movie theater and it was very dark because otherwise I would've made him stop a while ago.

His tongue was a little cold from the ice cream and the soda, but I wasn't complaining in the least. It was an odd sensation, having someone else's cold tongue in your mouth, though it added to the happiness I got just from kissing him.

Neither one of us even realized that the movie was very much over until the lights came on. We pulled apart instantly and looked around, mildly confused. I blinked and blushed at the glance I got from an elderly lady walking past us. Then I wondered why she was seeing Captain America in the first place; she was like ninety years old.

"Guess we missed the movie," Magnus muttered, eyeing the old lady as well.

"Guess so," I said with a smile.

"Where to now?" he asked, standing up and stretching. "It's only about seven."

I stood up as well and threw away our various movie theater items, taking Magnus' hand. "We can go back home if you want."

He shrugged as he pulled me forward and we walked out of the theater and to the sidewalk. "It's too early to for that," he said. With his arm raised, he whistled loudly and a cab stopped in front of us, causing tire marks to appear on the road behind it. I followed him inside the cab and gave him a face when he told the driver to take us to the local Wal-Mart.

"Wal-Mart?" I questioned. "Do you need to pick something up?"

"No," he said, grinning. "But it is a great place for adventures."

"You're so weird."

He shrugged. "I embrace it."

* * *

><p>We had barely gotten through the door when Magnus made a bee-line for the customer service area,<p>

producing a folded up list from his back pocket. When I asked what it was he quietly explained that it was a '100 Things to do in Wal-Mart' list. He just grinned when I asked what sort of things were on that list.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the nice-looking lady at the customer service desk near the end of Wal-Mart.

He put on a fake country western accent and tapped his foot, pretending to think about something. "Uh, yeh, I'd like to order somethin," he said. I didn't know how he was doing a country accent when he had a natural British accent, but it was pretty convincing. I was almost dying from keeping in my laughter.

"Sir-" she started, looking confused.

"Can I get, uh" -he smacked his lips- "two double cheeseburgers with extra may-o-naise and lot o' those fancy pickles ya'll got?"

"Sir-" she tried again.

"Oh, all that to go."

"Sir, we don't do that here," she said quietly.

"It's because I'm Asian isn't it?" Magnus snapped, using his normal tone of voice.

"Uhm..."

"I cannot believe this!" he exclaimed, popping his hip like Izzy always did. "Asians have nothing against you! What have we ever done to _you_?"

"It's not because you're Asian, sir," the poor lady said quickly. "It's because-"

"_Oh, I get it!_" he drawled. "It's because I'm _gay!_ This is segregation, this is discrimination, and this is a lot of other –ations! Good Lord, woman, I am leaving this institution at once!" With that exclamation, Magnus grabbed my hand and turned on his heel, leading me away from the wretched woman.

He giggled when we turned to corner and checked something off from his list using an eyeliner pencil. "That was fun," he said to me. "You should try something."

The list was pushed into my hands and I looked at it skeptically. Some of the things included on it were 'Drop a box of condoms into someone's cart while they're not looking,' 'While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are,' 'Sample every air freshener you see,' and my personal favorite 'Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.'

As I was about to tell him what I wanted to do, someone started speaking over the intercom, demanding that a janitor get to housewares ASAP. I dropped the list and threw my hands over my head, curling into the fetal position and muttering, "No, _no,_ it's those voices again!" When the person stopped talking, I made my eyes go all shifty and stood up, clearing my throat.

"Omigod I love you," Magnus said, his eyes sparkling.

"Let's do one of these together," I suggested with a small smile. "It'll be more fun that way."

He gave me one quick nod along with a peck on the lips and grabbed a nearby blanket (I realized then that we were in the baby aisle), tying it around his neck. "I am Batman!" he stated in a deep voice, striking a very Batman pose. "Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

I chuckled and followed him to the toy section where we picked up two huge Nerf guns. We hummed the Mission Impossible theme song as we ran around like the total goofballs we were, occasionally seeing a clerk and making turkey noises at them until they turned around. Then we'd tuck and roll into a different aisle and nearly die of laughter before pulling another prank on the poor people of Wal-Mart.

At some point in our adventurous hours, we ran past a pimply ginger kid looking at comic books. His eyes got wide when he saw us run past him wearing blanket capes and duct-tape on our foreheads.

Magnus did a ballerina leap over a book on the ground and spun to face the kid. "We're on a mission," he declared.

I smacked his arm but not enough to hurt him and glared at the kid. "Don't blow our cover," I told Magnus. "Gingey over here might be a double agent."

The red-headed boy blinked. "I swear I won't tell anyone your secret," he said quietly, leaning forward in a dramatic way.

"You're a good lad," Magnus said. He was using another one of his many accents- Irish. "I bet you'll be a gggreat agent one day." He patted the kid's bright hair and smiled.

"We must go now," I said deeply. "Our time is almost up." I wiggled my fingers in front of my face and narrowed my eyes at him. "You saw _nothing_."

We then slithered across the tile and disappeared into an aisle. Magnus popped his head back around the shelf we were standing behind and nearly gave the kid a heart attack by shouting, "_Beware my powers!_"

* * *

><p><strong>Mini AN- Wtf is wrong with me? What is this ^^^ I don't even understand what's happening. But I'm going to continue this sucky chapter anyways. Here we go.**

* * *

><p>"Oh my goodness, Alexander," Magnus said breathlessly, shutting the door to our apartment behind him. "I cannot believe you agreed to do that. I embrace my weirdness but I didn't think you would, too."<p>

"It was pretty fun," I said, blushing a little. "That ginger kid was so confused!"

"I know right? We probably scared the shit out of him," he agreed. Chairman Meow greeted him by rubbing up against his legs and Magnus picked him up immediately, showering him with kisses. Sometimes I think he loves that cat more than he loves me. But Magnus always proves me wrong.

"And how did they not throw us out for eating the ice cream from the freezer section?" I asked.

Magnus shrugged as he sat next to me on the couch and kicked off his boots. "Maybe they're used to crazy people like us," he breathed against my neck. My arms went around his waist and we sat there until his stomach grumbled.

"You've eaten so much today, how are you still hungry?" I asked incredulously.

"Are you calling me fat?" he snapped.

I paused and shook my head vigorously. "Not at all. It just amazes me that you can put all that food away and not gain a pound."

"I have a high metabolism," he said. "Let's order out or something, I don't feel like cooking tonight. And Jace ate all of our damn spaghetti so we have no leftovers."

"Yeah, we can get whatever you want," I said, sitting up straight so I could look at him. "I'm not really hungry."

"Coolio. I am _soooo_ getting Chinese takeout." He reached over to grab his cell phone from the coffee table and I couldn't help but let my eyes drift down to his butt. It was really nice in those tight pants. I almost drooled for a second.

"Are you looking at my ass?" he asked as he dialed the phone.

"No."

"Liar." He grinned at me and something in my stomach jumped around like an excited puppy. I blushed and looked away before I pounced on him. I knew that if I pounced on him I would regret it later. I wasn't ready for that yet. No pouncing for me.

Magnus hurriedly ordered a simple carton of fried rice and egg rolls, telling the man on the other end that he wanted extra 'eggroll-y-ness.'

My boyfriend and his lovable quirkiness had really made me feel better. That morning and the encounter with my parents felt like it had been years before, thanks to Magnus. There was just something about him that always brightened my day. Maybe it was his glitter…

"They said it'll be about half an hour," Magnus said, snapping me out of my thoughts about him. "What do you want to do until then?"

I shrugged and snuggled back into his arms where I belonged. His body was perfect and warm, like my own personal couch. "We can just do this," I suggested.

"Works for me." He turned on the TV and we gorged ourselves on a Glee rerun marathon until the stupid delivery guy ruined everything by bringing the food.

"I got it," Magnus called, hopping off the couch. A few seconds later he came back with Chinese takeout cartons and a baggie of eggrolls, the smell of deliciousness wafting from his hands. "They gave us extra eggrolls!"

As I followed him into the kitchen I asked, "Is that a good thing?"

He set the food down and whipped out the chopsticks, exclaiming, "It's a great thing!"

Much to my surprise, he didn't use the chopsticks to eat the food with; he just put them in his hair by twisting them around his dark locks and making a messy bun of sorts. It was totally cute.

He used a normal fork to eat with and held up the fried rice. "Do you want some, dear?"

I smiled at him and shook my head but sat down anyways. "You go ahead," I said. "I'll keep you company."

That fried rice was gone in seven minutes flat and those poor, helpless eggrolls had been demolished by a food crazed man who acted like he hadn't eaten in three weeks. I wasn't even completely sure if he had eaten it or flat out inhaled it. Not one grain of rice was left, just the grease it produced.

"That was super delicious," he said as he tossed the cartons in the trashcan and the fork in the sink. "Sorry I didn't save you any."

"It's okay. You were _really_ hungry, that's all."

"I'm always really hungry," he stated flatly. "But now I shall go get comfy and get out of these pants before I die of tightness overload." He kissed my cheek and sauntered into his bedroom to change into sweatpants.

Something sharp scratched against my calf and I jumped, looking down. Chairman Meow had his big eyes on me, his head tilting to the side.

"Meow," he said, tilting it to the other side.

"Hello there," I said back. I scooped him up into my arms and tilted my head back at him. "You're too cute, you know that?"

"Meow," he said again.

"Meow to you, too, sir."

Someone's hands slinked around my waist and I jumped a little before turning my head to see them. Of course it was Magnus, we were the only two people in the house, and he chuckled at me.

"What are you doing, darling?" he asked. "Talking to my cat?"

"You do it, too," I countered, setting the feline on the ground and placing my hands over top of Magnus'.

"That's very true, violet, but I only do that when no one else is home," he said.

"Violet?" I echoed. "Are you ever going to pick one specified nickname for me?"

"I believe 'darling' and 'love' are the two most commonly used ones." His breath ghosted across my neck and I involuntarily shivered. "Cold?" he asked.

I muttered, "A little." Turning around in his arms, I was suddenly struck by how beautiful his eyes were when they were softer. Usually they had a hard edge to them but that edge seemed to have melted away.

The kiss he placed upon my lips was smooth and soft, like a rose petal. He was being very gentle with me and I felt my knees go to jelly. Magnus had that effect on me a lot and I had no idea how he did it. But I think I liked it.

I felt his hand on my hip and I pushed my lips harder into the kiss, wanting much more of him. I got what I wanted when his tongue found its way across my lips and into my mouth, exploring every inch of it. With my hand on the small of his back, I pushed him closer to me and our hips rubbed against each other. He moaned, very softly, into my mouth and the sound vibrated on our lips. Things were getting heated and I didn't want to stop, not in the least. Not when we started moving toward the bedroom, not when the backs of my knees hit the big mattress, not even when he tugged on my shirt like 'this needs to come off.' No, I was much too into everything to want to stop.

It wasn't until we were shirtless and in full on makeout mode when something hit me. Really, it was when his hands caressed my stomach and down near my belt that I felt my heart clench. Magnus' fingers were cold.

_His_ fingers were cold.

The memory came flooding back to me tenfold and images flashed across my eyes all while I was thinking _No, no, no. Not now, anytime but now_. I felt like Sebastian was on top of me again, not Magnus, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I knew for a fact that Sebastian was not the one on me, kissing the crook of my neck. No, I was well aware that it was Magnus but I wanted him off of me anyways. That was not a good feeling at all.

"Magnus," I said meekly. When he didn't answer I said it again and pushed on his shoulders until he could see my face.

"What is it?" he asked, concern swimming in his green and gold eyes. He sat back on his heels and I got off our bed to stand on the plush carpet. "Do you want to stop?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I mean, yes, I mean, I don't know… I just can't do this right now. Not yet."

"That's okay," he said softly. "I'd rather wait until you were ready instead of pushing you into-"

"I need to go take a shower," I said suddenly, moving away from his outstretched hand.

His eyebrows furrowed together and he looked taken aback. "A shower? But you just took one this morning."

"I know, but I… I need to take a shower," I said with my words rushing together.

Before he could even give a reply I was slamming the bathroom door behind me and turning the water on. I didn't bother to let it get warm, I stripped and stood under the jets of cold water anyways, desperately wanting to get the horrible feeling off of me.

I sat on the floor of the shower and put my arms around my knees, burying my head in them. _What is wrong with me?_ I thought. I had literally pushed away my boyfriend whom I loved very much because I was afraid he was going to _hurt me._ Magnus would never do such a thing, and in the back of my mind I knew that, but thoughts of Sebastian were overriding everything in my brain. All I wanted was to get him off of me, out of my head; I wanted to forget he ever existed. But I couldn't do that when I knew what he had done to me and that he was still out there.

It was hard to tell if I was crying or if the water had just heated up but there was definitely moisture on my cheeks. Shakily, I stood up and scrubbed every visible inch of my body with fruity soap and a rough washcloth. I couldn't scrub hard enough, as he still seemed to be everywhere. He would not get out of my mind but I tried so hard to get thoughts of Magnus and his gorgeous eyes in my brain instead of ones about Sebastian and his insane eyes.

After who knows how long of me scrubbing my skin raw, I turned off the water and put my boxers back on, running my sore fingers through my dripping wet hair. Carefully and quietly, I stepped out of the bathroom and peeked into the bedroom to see if Magnus was still there. He was on our bed, and thankfully he was asleep. I didn't want to have to answer a lot of awkward questions that were sure to come up so I only threw on some sweats and crawled into bed next to him, though I was farther away than usual.

I didn't sleep at all that night. There were moments when I felt my eyes slip closed but my mind never shut off and I resorted to staring at the numbers on Magnus' digital clock until the sun came up. I used that as an excuse to get out of bed and decided to make breakfast or something, thinking that maybe it would help me calm down a bit.

The only breakfast-y food in the fridge was a carton of eggs so I turned on the stovetop to make vegetable omelets. They were simple enough to cook and I had made them many times before. I hoped that I remembered how to do them the right way.

Magnus wandered into the kitchen when I was almost done with the first omelet and I felt him tense up when he saw me. He tried to shrug it off by pulling himself up onto the kitchen counter behind me and yawning loudly.

"Good morning," he said sleepily.

"Morning."

"What are you making?" he asked.

"Omelets."

"Oh, smells good." He paused for a second until he decided to acknowledge the huge elephant in the kitchen. "You want to explain what the hell happened last night?"

"No," I said stiffly, refusing to look away from the egg I was cooking. "I'm pretty sure you have a good idea as to what happened. You don't need me to explain."

"It's about him again, isn't it?" he asked softly.

"What do you think?" I snapped, still not meeting the gaze that was burning into my shoulder.

"I'm only trying to help," he said angrily.

"Well stop it!"

There was another, longer pause and I went back to my egg. The vegetables and cheeses were already on there, all I had to do was flip over one end of the egg so it was folded like a taco. I was about to try but I saw that my hands were shaking too much.

"Alec, I don't know why you're acting like this," Magnus finally said. "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head, feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

"Then tell me what I _should _do," he whispered. His voice was barely making its way to my ears over the sound of the stovetop.

One of the tears fell off my cheek and onto the stove, making a tiny sizzling sound. My hands had stopped shaking so much and I reached for the spatula to flip over the egg but I couldn't see very well through my tears. I didn't commit to the flip and the omelet flopped, turning into an eggy gooey mess. All of the bottled up anger and frustration I had inside me was taken out on that omelet and my grip on the handle of the pan made my knuckles turn white. With more tears falling down my face I flipped the pan over and sent it spiraling off the counter, making it splatter all onto the floor. The action made Magnus jump and he hesitantly walked over to me, his steps light as a feather.

"Alexander?" he said cautiously.

I was gripping the counter and the tears were becoming a steady flow. Through the thickness in my throat I managed to form a sentence.

"I can't get him out of my head, Magnus."

**A/N- Wtf is up with my bipolar chapters? I personally think this is my worst chapter because it doesn't make sense but will you review anyways? Please? At least this was a long one, right? Please review. Please… *gets down on hands and knees and begs pitifully*  
>-Ella, who is tired of sucking. <strong>


	23. I Don't Want To

**A/N- Okay so… bipolar, sucktastic chapters = reviews? I don't know why, but I got more reviews than usual for the last chapter so now I'm just as confused as you guys are… Oh well. This one will be more straightforward and have ONE mood throughout the chapter. Maybe, Idk, I haven't even written it yet, I write as I go along. Here goes nothing.  
>By the way, I have 101 people who alerted this. If I had 101 regular reviewers like I have with alerted people, I would be more inspired to write like an awesome badass. I'm just saying that if you alertedfavorited, it would be great if you reviewed as well…  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing. <strong>

"Magnus," I whined. "I really don't want to do this. It's so unnecessary. Can't we just go home and cuddle?"

He continued to pull me along into the big brick building and frowned. "As tempting as that offer is, you need to do this," he said.

Right before we entered the room filled with a circle of chairs, he stopped me and gripped my hands. "What happened yesterday really scared me, okay?" he said quietly. "I think this group will really help and I'll be here with you every step of the way."

"Fine," I grumbled, barely accepting his kiss.

All day yesterday he'd been coaxing me into talking to him about my 'issues.' It took a long time, but eventually I opened up, just a little. I didn't spill everything to him; all I said was that I was still trying to get over what happened with Sebastian and he didn't push for anything more. I didn't mention that I couldn't sleep, I didn't mention that I was having body image problems, I didn't mention that I almost had a mental breakdown. No, it was just Sebastian. However, I did tell him that I'd do anything to get Sebastian out of my mind and that's what ended me up at a youth group for young people that have had traumatic things happen to them. The only reason why I agreed to go was because Magnus promised to go with me.

We walked into the small room together and sat in two fold-up chairs near the edge of the circle, if you could call it that. Some teenagers were already sitting down and talking amongst themselves while others were still filing in. Magnus and I got a few glances from people, probably because we were new. Or maybe because Magnus was so bright and colorful. Or maybe because we were holding hands. Either way, it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to get it over with.

Not too long later, an adult strolled in with a clipboard and glasses. He looked like he was in his early thirties or late twenties. I assumed he was the person who ran the group, most likely a psychologist of some sort. He took the big seat in the front and cleared his throat.

"Good morning everyone," he said happily.

I didn't like him.

All of the teenagers mumbled their 'good morning's and some were still looking at me and Magnus.

"We have some new members this morning," he said, gesturing to us. "Why don't you two introduce yourselves?"

Magnus nudged me with his elbow and I sighed. "Hey," I said unenthusiastically. "I'm Alec-"

"Hi, Alec," they all said. _Oh great_, I thought. _They talk in unison here._

"And why are you here today, Alec?" he asked. When I didn't answer he told me that everything was kept inside the room at all times and no one else would know about what happened to me.

"I was sexually assaulted," I muttered under my breath, refusing to use the r-word. There were a few nods and a one or two 'oh em gee's but that was all.

The leader dude turned to Magnus. "And how about you, young man?"

"Hi, I'm Magnus."

"Hi, Magnus," they repeated.

He smiled when they said his name and I rolled my eyes playfully. Magnus loved it when people said his name.

"Why are you here, Magnus?"

Magnus smacked his lips together and thought for a moment. "Uh, well… Oh! Both my parents died when I was fifteen," he said. "And I'm here for moral support."

The leader, whose name I would eventually find out was Mr. Rankins, nodded and cleared his throat. He quickly explained that the class was for troubled teens (his words, not mine) who wanted to express their feelings with people who understood what they were going through. Much to my dismay, he wanted us to pair up with someone who was going through a similar situation as we were. Magnus gave me a very reassuring hand squeeze before leaving to find someone to talk to.

I really wanted him by my side through the whole thing because I was socially awkward as it was; being in a group filled with distressed teenagers wasn't helping. But, in a way, I was sort of glad that he was letting me go on my own. There was no way I could get over my problems if he was there holding my hand the entire time… though I missed that feeling.

A young girl, probably only thirteen or so, was slowly drifting towards me. She was dressed in head to toe black, with a large chain and skull necklace. There was lots of eyeliner smudged underneath her eyes and she was clad in a baggy hoodie, also with skulls. She seemed much too young to even be there but her light red and bouncy hair made her look more inviting. The seat next to me was then taken by her body instead of Magnus' and she smiled sadly at me.

"Sexually assaulted, huh?" she said, getting straight to the point. At that moment, she reminded me of Izzy with her bluntness.

After swallowing, I nodded and cast my eyes down to my feet. I saw her cross her legs out of the corner of my eye.

"Those aren't the words I would've used but I know what you mean," she muttered. "It sucks, doesn't it? Same thing happened to me."

My eyes snapped up to her and I nodded again. "What's your name?" I asked quietly.

"Simone," she said. "Talk."

"What?"

"Talk about what happened," she said. "You won't _want_ to, you may never want to, but it will definitely help. Mr. Rankins has worked wonders for me."

"Uhm, I don't really know where to start." My mind was drifting to Magnus and I saw him at the opposite end of the room, chatting with a small girl. He seemed fine, and when he met my eyes he smiled at me.

"What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of what happened?" she asked.

Without a moment's hesitation I said, "Pain."

"That's a start," Simone said. "I can tell you don't just mean physical pain. It's in your eyes."

"Oh."

"Tell me, was it a boy or a girl who did it?"

The question caught me off-guard and I stuttered for a moment before saying that I wasn't exactly comfortable with telling her something like that.

She sighed through her nose. "Listen Ringo-"

"It's Alec," I interrupted.

"That's what I said- Ringo. If you don't talk about this now –and I mean talk about _everything_- it will eventually take over your mind, body, and soul completely," she explained, leaning forward intently. I noticed that Simone used her hands a lot. "Now is the time to say whatever's on your mind. I made the dumbass mistake to leave it bottled up until I broke down and now I have scars all over my body. You don't want that to happen, do you?" I shook my head. "You need to talk."

I sighed and tried to get my thoughts together, opening and closing my mouth multiple times. "He's always in the back of my mind," I murmured slowly. "No matter what I do, he's there, taking over a portion of my brain until it's all I can think about."

She sat back in satisfaction and crossed her arms over her chest. "That's what I mean," she breathed. "Keep going. Don't stop talking until your mind is calm."

With lots of stuttering and hesitation, I told her what I had told Magnus, word for word. The look on her face was making my skin burn, and not in the good way. It felt like she was burning a hole into my skin instead of simply looking at me.

Eventually, that expression made my tough bravado crack and small amounts of truth started seeping through. I told her about the problems I was having with confidence and sleep. The blazing stare melted off her face and it softened.

"That's what I meant. _Everything_ about what happened needs to come out of your mouth in one way or another," Simone said. "Talking seems to work the best for you."

I raised my eyebrow at her, much like Magnus would at me, and asked what she meant.

Another sigh. "I talk about my… problems by singing about them," she explained. "I don't write songs, but I find ones that express my feelings perfectly and sing almost every hour of the day."

"Oh… I've never tried that."

"I'm not saying you should." A glazed tint appeared in her eyes, almost like she was looking through me, not at me. "The only problem with singing your heart out is that there's nothing left of you heart when you're not singing. It's made me emotionally disconnected from everyone around me." She paused, her eyes going back to normal. "If you want to get better, the best thing for you to do is spill everything to that cute boyfriend of yours."

Dodging all the other things she said, I asked, "How could you tell we were a couple?"

A perfectly shaped eyebrow jumped up and her lips parted. "How could I tell?" she repeated. "You two were holding hands when you walked in and he's sparklier than a disco ball on crack."

I smiled a tiny bit and she smirked back at me. Just as I was about to thank her, Mr. Rankins announced that the hour was up and it was time for all of us to go home. With a final nod of her head, Simone walked away from me and I saw her put in her headphones as she walked out of the room.

Magnus strolled over to me, looking happier than he had lately and took my hand, leading the way outside. "That wasn't too bad, was it?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It wasn't as awful as I thought it would be."

"Who was that girl you were talking to?" His hand flew up to hail us a cab and we got inside the stuffy vehicle. It smelled like cigarettes.

"Simone. She's like a gothic Izzy," I said. "Minus the boy obsession."

That night, while I was lying on the couch with Magnus playing the part as my pillow, I took an entire episode of Project runway to think about what to tell Magnus- how to word it, what my facial expression was going to be, and a lot of other things that didn't really matter. I decided when a commercial was on that he just needed to know.

"Hey Magnus?" I ventured.

"Yes, darling?"

"I have to tell you something." I muttered.

He turned down the volume on the TV and paused for a moment. "Is it bad?" he asked.

"I… I guess." _Pfft, you __guess__, _I thought. _It's obviously bad, why can't you just say it?_

"Tell me," he said softly.

"I just haven't been sleeping a lot and there are too many things in my mind for me to really put them into words," I muttered. "And… my self-confidence is really low."

"Why is that?" he asked. "You're gorgeous."

"I don't know," I said. "It's never been all that high either, but it's hit an all-time low right now."

"Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of."

His fingers linked with mine and I felt the tiny pressure of his chin resting on my forehead. "I'm glad you told me… You're going to get through this," he said. "I promise."

I sighed. "I wish I could believe you."

**A/N- Yes, I used myself as an OC, no I was not raped, and yes, I am aware that this chapter is OOC and sucky. No need to tell me. I am trying to fix all of the issues with this story as I type; it's all flying through my mind at the speed of light. I'm in a terrible mood due to… uh, I don't want to force my personal issues on those of you who don't give a flying fuck, but let's just say I had a very shocking discovery the other day and it's messing me up. I'm not pregnant and I'm not dying, that's all you need to know. I'll leave you with this- if you could review, that would make me very happy.  
>-Ella, who has nothing clever to say here.<strong>


	24. 2 sxy 4 u

**A/N- Awwww, you all care about me! *huggles* thanks for the reviews and well wishes! I love you all.  
>Disclaimer- Brosif Stalin, I don't own anything. <strong>

The next morning, Magnus and I were pleasantly surprised when Izzy, Camille, and Ragnor showed up at our apartment, elated and grinning from ear to ear. My boyfriend and I were a little confused as to why they were there, but still very glad to see them even if we were still in our pajamas.

Magnus made a beeline for Ragnor and gave him a bone crushing hug. Ragnor's eyes widened then narrowed then went back to normal and he embraced Magnus back, murmuring something to him that was lost in the air.

"What was that?" Magnus asked, letting his best friend breathe again.

"It's good to see you," Ragnor repeated, slapping him playfully on the shoulder.

Izzy sauntered over to the reunited best friends and handed Magnus a small, plastic card. His excited gasp made me jump and I looked over his tank top clad shoulder to see what it was. The large letters "H & M" stood out against the dark background but I wasn't sure what that was about.

"Forty-five percent off you entire purchase," she stated, accepting the hug he gave.

"Isabelle, you are the best girlfriend a gay guy could have!" he exclaimed, smiling hugely.

Ragnor didn't seem to think the same thing. I knew for a fact that he wanted Isabelle more than a starving person wanted a cheeseburger. Izzy was under the naïve impression that he didn't like boobs/girls. She was so off.

"Hey!" Camille whined, referring to Magnus' comment.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Oh please, Camille," he said. "You know I love you more than anything."

"Hey!" I interjected.

The now cornered sparkly male paused and looked between the three of us then over to Ragnor for help. He just shrugged so Magnus calmed his shifty eyes and cleared his throat. "I love you all equally," he concluded.

"That ain't gonna cut it, sweetheart," Camille said, only half-serious.

"No offense you guys," I started. "But why are you here?"

Isabelle grinned and I raised my eyebrow at her mouth. "I promised Magnus we'd get together this week," she said. "And that I'd take you shopping…"

* * *

><p>"Magnus, this is worse than yesterday!" I whined. "I love you and everything but I'm <em>not<em> going to wear that!" I pointed at the sparkly t-shirt in front of me like the evil monkey from Family Guy points at the fat kid. That was a weird analogy, I know, but there was no way in hell I was going to put on a shirt that said '2 sxy 4 u' in blue sequence. No, no, no, no.

"Why not?" he asked, pouting.

I gave him a pointed look and he frowned at me. "That's really not my style," I explained patiently, watching Ragnor ogle my sister from across the store. "Maybe you should buy it, if you like it so much."

He contemplated that for a moment before giving a triumphant nod and snatching the shirt from its hanger. "If I wear it when I'm next to you, it'll make your eyes pop."

We walked across the dimly lit room that passed as a store to the checkout counter and I narrowed my eyes at the shirt. "Is that a good thing?" I questioned.

A ten dollar bill was produced from his very tight back pocket and he handed it to the cashier. "Alexander," he said. "That's a very good thing. You have gorgeous eyes."

I felt my cheeks heat up at his compliment and I looked down at my boots in slight embarrassment. It's not like I wasn't used to him calling me gorgeous, it was just that we were right in front of a cashier who was giving us a look. Not necessarily a bad look, just a look. The dude handed Magnus a dark bag that held his newly purchased, sparkly shirt and we strolled over to where the rest of our group was chattering excitedly.

Camille and Isabelle were talking nonstop. They were actually talking so fast that the rest of us guys couldn't understand what they were saying once they got started. Ragnor on the other hand was half pouting and half fuming from having to listen to them go on, and on, and on about fashion and gossip the best sex moves.

Wait, _what_?

"What are you two talking about?" I interrupted loudly.

The two high-heeled girls ceased their chatting and blinked at me.

"Nothing," they said simultaneously.

I simply shook my head and decided to leave it at that, leading the powwow to the food court to tame Magnus' growling stomach. Camille and Izzy got salads from some odd vegetarian place, Magnus got sushi, and Ragnor and I stuck with the original New York pizza.

No matter how much they denied it, I knew both Izzy and Camille were still hungry after those measly salads they scarfed down. Their eyes were always drifting over to my pizza and I ended up giving Izzy the crust. She gave me one of her trademark sister smiles that meant 'you are the best brother ever.' I missed seeing those smiles.

"Can we go to H & M now?" Magnus whined. Sometimes he acted like a child who wanted a lollipop so freaking bad that it was the only thing he could think about until he got it.

"I hear they just got a new shipment of trench coats!" Camille exclaimed, her hair bouncing across her shoulders.

They looked at the rest of us excitedly, silently asking for permission to go to their favorite store ever. Izzy and I nodded and watched them bound out of the food court and to the large, expensive store. It was kind of cute, seeing Magnus act like such a child around his best friend.

With a sigh, Ragnor stood up from our shaky metal table and announced that he was going to the nearest Starbucks and if anyone bugged him they'd die painfully.

"Who crawled up your ass?" Izzy asked.

He shook his head but I didn't miss the "No one, unfortunately" that slid off his tongue before he left. Poor Ragnor wasn't getting any… but then again neither were Magnus and I.

Surprisingly, once Ragnor had stalked off out of earshot, Izzy got really serious. She leaned her elbow on the table, resting her head on the palm of her hand. "Can I talk to you for a second?" she asked quietly.

I raised my eyebrows a bit but nodded anyways. "About what?"

She curled her finger in a 'come hither' gesture then stood up and began to walk along the paths between stores. I got up to follow her and had to pick up my stride to keep up with how fast she was walking.

"I didn't want to ask while Ragnor and Camille were around because I wasn't sure if they knew or not," she said, slowing down her walking so we could stroll at a modest pace. "Do they know?"

"No," I said. "Well, I think Ragnor might, but Camille doesn't."

Her eyes showed the maternal hue that my mother's used to hold and something inside me stirred, like my stomach was aching for something else. For the last year, it had been like my mother was dead, only I was well aware of her existence and it didn't help in the least.

"What were you going to ask?" I questioned, trying to get the aching out of my stomach.

"I was just wondering if you were okay," she asked quietly. Her tone of voice kept everyone else around us from eavesdropping, which I was very thankful for.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm fine," I lied, not meeting her eye.

Her immediate response was, "Tell me the truth, Alec."

"It's been pretty rough…" I swallowed thickly and looked at her.

"Magnus is helping you though?" For some reason, her voice sounded almost suspicious of Magnus.

"Of course he is."

"Good," she said with a smile. "I'm glad you finally found someone you love. I was getting worried there."

**A/N- I've found out recently that I cannot end chapters properly, nor is Magnus ever in character unless he's in juvie. Do I care? Nope, sorry. I'm in a really bad mood… don't know why, but I am. You know what makes me feel better? REVIEWS! I got a ton last chapter and even though this chapter was just a way to get over writer's block and keep you all contained until I got up and actual GOOD chapter, that doesn't mean you shouldn't review. You should always review. If you don't review it is a sin to HUMANITY! I'm kiddin, but still, I really think you should review. Maybe it'll cure me of my cold. That's why I'm in a bad mood, I'm sick. I figured it out! Byyyyy theeee waaaaay, you know those lemons I promised? Sorry they're taking so long but they'll be worth the wait. Yes~ **_**they**_**. There will definitely be more than one ;)  
>-Ella, who also knows that her author's notes are too fucking long. <strong>


	25. And Now My Pants Are Wet

**A/N- Hey all, I've had a super shitty day so I thought I'd give you all what you've been waiting for. *raises eyebrows suggestively* Well… sorta kinda give you what you want, OH MY GERARD I'M GIVING IT AWAY!  
>Dear mysterious 'Y'… Whatever you're putting in that coffee of yours… I want double xD<br>I AM SO CLOSE TO THREE HUNDRED REVIEWS I CAN TASTE IT! . that's fuckin weird, you can't taste reviews. Unless… NeVeRmInD!  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing… GOD, STOP MAKING ME SAY IT. <strong>

_His hands were everywhere on my body in a way that brought my mind only to him, not to Sebastian or anything else going on in my mind, just Magnus. He had the skill to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time; he was connected to me yet a whole other, more amazing being. I briefly wondered where he learned how to do that but waved it off as something that didn't matter at that particular moment. _

_The way he moaned my name into my own mouth made my stomach tumble around in a circle, vaguely reminding me of the washer and dryer inside his closet. There was nothing I wanted more than to pause time at that one moment and relive it over, and over, and over again. _

_Hands. His were warm, exactly unlike someone else's hands. What was their name again? I don't even remember now, what with Magnus on top of me. _

"_Alec," he whispered, his breath causing goose bumps to blaze a trail along my neck. Something warm encompassed my member; gliding and stroking until it arose without my permission. All of my immediate thoughts were gone and my brain was left to mush as he worked his magic. _

_I involuntarily thrust up into his hand and with a sly quirk of his mouth he leaned down to kiss me. It was the sweetest thing we'd ever shared, though anything would seem sweet compared to what we were doing down there. _

_Something cold scraped against my stomach and I felt it clench in anticipation. It was Magnus's bellybutton ring, a small metal ball sliding against my skin, raising even more goose bumps. He was being slow and sweet, almost agonizingly so. I bucked my hips against him again, silently complaining that this was going much too slow for me. _

_He picked up the pace almost instantly, moving his hand faster and adding more pressure. That's what I wanted, he understood that, too. I moaned his name repeatedly, tangling my hands in his dark hair. My eyes, bleary with both love and lust, looked down upon him to see his head go lower and lower. I didn't know how much time had passed, and I didn't care either, I just knew that I was enjoying every second. _

_All it took was for him to kiss the very tip of what he'd originally had his hand around and I shot off against his stomach, skimming his neck just a tiny bit. _

I had to slam my hand over my mouth when I woke up to keep me from gasping for breath. The disappointment I felt when my mind finally registered that it was a dream was awful. But then I realized that it was actually a _good_ dream and not one filled with Sebastian's crazy eyes.

Magnus and I had been going to the group sessions for a week or two then, it was a nice night in August. The only problem was that there was something wet all over my side of the bed.

_Shit,_ I thought, looking up toward the ceiling in irritation.

I honestly didn't know what to do at that point; just lay there in my own bodily fluids, or get up and risk waking Magnus which would begin a really awkward conversation that would probably make his ego inflate and make my face turn tomato red. My final decision was to at least try and change my pants before figuring out what to do with the sheets.

As light as a feather, I slowly lifted my body out of my now wet side of the bed and reached into our shared dresser for a new pair of boxers and some sweatpants. Luckily, his room was carpeted so there was no creaking going on with the floors.

I was more embarrassed than I had ever been in my entire life, no exaggerations. The whole time I was changing my clothes, I was thinking _Really? Did you __really__just have a wet dream about your boyfriend who was more than willing to do that himself? __REALLY?_

Eighteen years old and still having wet dreams. I mean… not _still, _it's not like they were frequent before Magnus came along but I've never _not_ had one before and… everyone has one, right? It's part of puberty, yeah of course. But I'd passed the point of puberty already. I was technically an adult. I could vote. I could join the military. I was still having wet dreams…

Fuck.

I still didn't know what to do with the soaked sheets so I just threw my shirt down on top of the spot and prayed to everything that Magnus would wake up before me, not see anything because I was lying on top of it, and leave the bed long enough so I could change the sheets without him noticing.

Great plan.

* * *

><p>The next morning was horribly awkward for me, though I did get to change the sheets without Magnus noticing. He'd woken up before me and I feigned grogginess until he got up to use the bathroom. I knew for a fact that whenever he went to the bathroom he'd check himself out for at least twenty seconds before actually doing whatever he was doing. That time he had to brush his teeth AND pee so I had a solid three minutes until he emerged.<p>

I was like a ninja. Those sheets were ripped off and thrown into his washer then replaced with ones of a similar color all while he was probably staring at his reflection. Then I jumped back into bed, in the same curled up, sleepy position I had been in before and he came back out, clean and smiling.

"Get up, gorgeous," he said. "Ya can't lay in bed all day with your lovely boyfriend in need of some kissin."

I sat up, kicking the clean sheets away from me and hoping he didn't notice the tiny color difference. "I haven't even brushed my teeth yet," I groaned, still going with sleepy instead of embarrassed.

"I'm not gonna French you, just a little kiss would be nice," he muttered. He kicked at the carpet, putting his hands behind his back and pouting, acting like a three year old.

Magnus was too cute being a six foot tall, nineteen year old child, and I couldn't stop my smile. "Maybe if you come over here I'll consider it."

He sauntered over to me, tan and exposed hips swinging back and forth. My usual blush showed up when I remembered my dream from the night before. Good thing Magnus never got to see it, he was too busy pushing hair out of my eyes to notice it.

God his lips were almost magical, he was so talented with them. He knew exactly what do and how much pressure he should use and a bunch of other things that really just left me to relax and let him do his thing, all the while his hand was resting lightly on my upper thigh.

So much for no Frenching.

I don't know how long he'd been kissing me, but both of us had to breathe and eventually disconnected our lips to force air down our lungs.

"You never cease amaze me with your kissing skills," I muttered, still close to his mouth.

He smirked and I could almost see his ego inflating inch by inch. "Nothing but the best for my Alec." He kissed me one final time before standing up straight and pulling me up as well. "Now get a move on, we've got things to do," he said, smacking my butt to get me walking towards the bathroom.

I blushed and rubbed my abused backside then made my way to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth and do the usual morning routine.

"Wait a sec," he said, stopping me in the doorway.

"Hm?"

"Why did you change the sheets?" he asked innocently.

"Uhh…" I looked to the ceiling like _ya bored up there?_ "Uhm… I…" He raised his eyebrow and I blurted out the first thing I could think of. "Q!"

His reply- "I'm sorry, what?" –was cut off by me slamming the door and locking it in a frantic haste.

…

Hopefully he'll forget by lunch.

**A/N- IF YOU DON'T READ THIS VERY IMPORTANT A/N, YOU WILL PERISH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GO TO THE DEVIL'S WIFE'S VAGINA. AND NO ONE WANTS THAT.  
>Now that this sucktastic filler chapter is over, I can get to my fucking POINT. I want reviews. I know, I know, I'm a review slut. I changed it to slut cuz I ain't no whore. I want three hundred reviews oh so FUCKING bad I could die. Sorry for all the f-bombs, I'm in a cussy mood cuz I'm suddenly really pissed off. Bipolar disorder does that to you. Oh did I forget to mention…? Yeah, I'm bipolar, DEAL WITH IT, I AM.<br>Jesus Christ, I'm fuckin insane. Would you please just review cuz now I'm mad that I'm mad?  
>SHITBALLS OF DOOM, I NEED HELP.<br>Alright, sorry for the awkwardly bad and straight up 'meh' filler chapter, but I have immense ideas for the future. Please stick around for the amazingness that is to cum. And yes, I did mean to spell it like that ;D  
>-Ella, who fuckin hates the entire fuckin world. (except for MCR, Reviewers, and Readers of course.)<br>P.S. - Sorry for all the caps. I know capital letters are like being slapped with words. Also, sorry for the bipolar-ness. I honestly cannot control it without **_**prescription**_** drugs and I can't get them until I see a stupid therapist next week and blah, blah, blah, if I'm suddenly really mellow you'll know what happened. **


	26. Worth The Wait

**A/N- It's official. You are the greatest readers ever. I love my readers. I love my alerters more. I love my favoriters even more… but I love my reviewers the most. *huggles* Today was arguably one of the worst days of my still very young life and all of your reviews made my day a lot better, so thank you from the bottom of my black little heart.  
>Let's head over to two very sexy, I mean lucky people whose lives are a lot better than mine. Well… not really. Wait, yeah. No, wait, I don't fuckin know.<br>Disclaimer- Nope, still don't own anything. **

"What was up with you this morning?" Magnus asked me during lunch that day. "You were acting all weird."

I shrugged and blushed in what was probably a very unhealthy way. "I don't know what you mean," I muttered.

He smirked and I blushed harder. "Alright," he said, stretching out the last syllable. "You don't have to tell me then. Will you at least tell me why you had to change the sheets?"

"No reason…"

"Oh please, Alexander," he scoffed. "Something's going on and you're not telling me. Is it something I did, or…?"

_You're too damn sexy,_ I thought.

"Did you have another dream about him?" he asked, quieter than usual.

"No… I haven't dreamed about him in weeks," I explained.

"That much is good." He picked at his salad in dismay and eventually reached over to steal my dinosaur chicken nugget. I pouted at him so he ripped it in half and handed me the bigger half. "I guess I'm going to half to keep interrogating you until you tell me what happened," he continued. "We've been together for almost a year and you still won't open up to me."

Damn my guilty conscience, it made me want to tell him what happened but I was pretty sure my head would implode or explode for that matter from embarrassment overload.

"It's really embarrassing," I muttered.

His hand slipped into mine and rested on the table, squeezing my fingers encouragingly. "You can tell me. I won't make fun."

I told him what happened in a very simple, dull sentence, spit out and muttered awkwardly in a span of about ten seconds. Though, his reaction was not one that I was expecting. He didn't look horrified or like he was about to make fun of me or anything of that nature; he seemed understanding and… _amused_?

"And why exactly did it take you that long to tell me something so simple?" was his first question, which I was not expecting either. Magnus could be pretty unpredictable sometimes.

If my cheeks hadn't already been redder than a tomato, I would've blushed harder, but I could tell they were practically on fire. "Because it's embarrassing…"

He shrugged nonchalantly and waved his hand in a blasé manner. "It happens to everyone, Alexander, and it was about me so I really don't care… Had it been about someone else I would be really worried right now."

That much was enough to make me smile, just a tiny bit, but I did feel a lot better about it all. "Thanks for not being an ass about it," I muttered.

His eyebrow cocked up and he smirked at me. "You say that like you'd been expecting me to make fun of you or something," he said. All randomly, he got serious. "I would like to talk to you about something, though."

"What's that?" I asked skeptically.

"I just…" He paused. "I think you should get tested…"

"For what?" I asked, horribly ignorant. "I'm already taking online college courses."

"No, that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?"

He refused to meet my eye like he always did when he didn't want to tell me something. I caught his gaze eventually and saw it waver for barely a second.

"I want you to get tested for STDs."

I blinked at him. "Why do you think I have an STD?" I asked.

"Well… I don't know where Sebastian's been," he explained quietly. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"It's been almost eight months, Magnus," I said. "Don't you think I would've noticed by now if I had one?"

"Some can take years to find and it's not like we could do anything when we were in Idris," he said. "But now that we're out I really want to check."

"Fine." He looked relieved but the expression faltered when I spoke again. "But you have to get tested, too."

"What, you don't trust me?" He looked skeptical about the whole thing and I bet he wished he hadn't said anything at all.

"No, that's not it," I said slowly. "Better safe than sorry, though."

"Okay."

"Okay."

There was an extremely awkward silence for a moment but then I realized our hands were still linked together. I'm not sure why, but that spoke to me in some way; the fact that we could have little arguments like that and still have our hands clasped made me smile.

* * *

><p>"When are we gonna get the results back?" I asked for what was probably the thousandth time.<p>

Magnus sighed and continued threading his fingers through my hair in a soothing way. We were lying on his huge couch, waiting anxiously for the call from the local doctors' office. I had more to worry about than Magnus did, he could count on one hand (okay that's a lie) how many people he'd been with and where they had been, but I was violated by someone who I'd never meant before. And then Magnus got into my mind that I might have a problem so naturally I was freaking out.

It was getting dark and I was still worried out of my mind when Magnus put a reassuring kiss on my lips. "You need to stop worrying," he murmured into my hair.

I watched Chairman Meow scurry across the carpet, in hot pursuit of a fly that was crazily buzzing about the room, much like the thoughts in my head. We'd gone to the doctors' office days ago, why was it taking so long to get the results back? That must mean there's something wrong… All they needed was a spit sample, did those take long to examine? Maybe they were just understaffed, yeah.

"Baby, really, I can feel your heart beating," he said softly. "Why are you so nervous?"

"Because what if there really is something wrong and we can never… you know?" I asked.

His answer was cut off by the phone ringing and I jumped off the couch like a spazz, squarely hitting my knee on the corner of the coffee table. After a quick outburst of "Fucking shit, that hurt!" I was grabbing the phone and listening intently to the person on the other line.

"Hello," I tired, male voice said. "Is Alexander Lightwood there?"

"Speaking."

"We apologize for how long it took to get your results back," he started. "But rest assured all of the tests came back negative."

"Really?"

"Yes sir, neither you nor Mr. Bane have anything wrong," he said. "You're both healthy."

"That's great news, thank you," I said, relieved.

"You're very welcome."

I hung up and practically flew over to Magnus, jumping onto the couch next to him and smiling my head off. "They came back negative," I said simply. "For both of us."

His reply was pressing his lips to mine and beaming a smile that competed with my own. He pulled back to say something, but I didn't let him. I wanted to kiss him forever and kiss him only, no talking, no anything. What he had to say couldn't have been _that_ important; he didn't try to speak again, just kissed me harder.

Somehow, though not surprisingly, we got into another makeout session and I ended up straddling his hips, barely rubbing our groins together. The added friction immediately turned me on and I was struck with an epiphany of sorts- I was ready. I was ready to be connected with Magnus on that physical and mental level that I'd been craving for the past week. It was about damn time, too, we'd only been dating for a _year_.

My jeans were much too tight right then, and I bet Magnus' were as well, because both of us were almost to the point of moaning each other's names we were so hard. He pulled back to look at me, eyes misty with the heat of making out, and raised his eyebrow. I realized I was gripping the bottom of his shirt hard enough to make my knuckles hurt.

"Why'd you stop?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"I don't want you to start something you can't finish," he said. I'll admit, I was a little hurt by that but I understood what he was trying to say. If I had a nickel for every time we'd _almost_ had sex but then had to stop because I was a pussy, I'd be a rich man.

I thought for a moment longer before saying, "Tonight's different."

His eyes lit up and I saw his lips part. "You mean…?"

"Yeah," I breathed.

He slammed his lips back to mine heatedly, snaking his warm tongue into my mouth and leaving no inch of me untouched by the wet muscle. I moaned softly into his mouth, sending vibrations through our lips. With a roll of my hips I silently told him that this was not a good thing to do on a couch.

Magnus sat up, lips still connected to mine, and reached behind my knees to lift me up. I complied and wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me to the bedroom, his bare feet scuffing against the carpet. Poor Chairman Meow tried to follow us and got the door slammed in his face, but neither one of us really cared. We were caught up in the moment and didn't have time to think about rejected felines.

I felt my back hit the huge fluffy bed and Magnus trailed his fingers up my abdomen, grazing my nipple. Shivering, I helped him pull my shirt off then tugged at his own, demanding the article be abandoned now. He threw it off and tossed it to the floor, where it landed somewhere near my shirt.

Seeing him without a shirt on in Idris was one thing, but in real life it was ten times hotter. I was almost salivating at the sight of his caramel skin and bellybutton ring. It was enough to make my jeans even tighter, though I didn't believe that was humanly possible at that point.

He was kissing me again before I got much of a chance to ogle him, but I wasn't complaining in the least. I'd do anything in the world if it meant I got to kiss Magnus. We were being sloppier than usual; more tongue and much more noise, probably because we were both extremely turned on.

Though my pants were becoming an issue, all thoughts of discomfort flew out of my mind when Magnus discontinued our lip lock and moved down to my neck, nipping and sucking at the tender skin there. No doubt he was going to leave some marks there but it was sort of romantic. He was marking me as his like 'Back the fuck off, he's taken.'

I moaned quite loudly when he sucked on that particular spot behind my ear, one that I remembered he had called my button. For a split second I wondered where his was but my brain went to mush when he blew on the now wet skin, sending shivers down my neck.

He certainly knew what he was doing.

Warm hands moved down to my belt buckle and shakily undid it… He was nervous. Why was he nervous? I reached down to help him out a little and we pulled the belt free of its loops then tossed it away, hardly hearing the clinking sound it made as it hit the floor.

Somewhat clumsily, I kicked my pants off and swept them off the bed. Magnus hesitated before letting me take his own jeans off. They were harder to remove because they were practically glued onto his slick skin but we managed to shake them off as well. Even though our constricting jeans were now off, my boxers were still withholding my straining member and it was almost getting painful. In the blink of an eye, Magnus slid them down and my erection sprung free.

I knew what he was looking at when Magnus stopped altogether; the bruises were still there, an ugly yellow color then. Yes, they had faded, but I doubted they'd ever go away completely.

"He did this to you?" he asked, his voice sultry.

I bit my lip and nodded, keeping my eyes closed. My teeth let go of my abused lower lip when Magnus leaned down to kiss me, the tenderness in it obvious. I could tell exactly what he was trying to say; that he would never to that to me. And of course I believed him.

With both of our eyes closed and our lips locked together, I blindly snapped the elastic on his boxers and tugged them down far enough until he could kick them off himself. I was on top of him but it was impossible not to see how fucking huge he was. It didn't make sense that he could even fit that thing into skinny jeans…

It was an odd feeling, being stark naked and pressed up against someone equally as naked but it wasn't a bad feeling. I liked being that close to Magnus, with no boundaries or anything.

I felt the anxiety I'd been holding in rise to the surface when I realized we were almost there. It wasn't really that I was scared, just nervous because I was afraid the memory of Sebastian would come back. He hadn't made an appearance in my head in quite a while but he tended to show up at the most inopportune times.

The only way for me to get over my fear of him was to have Magnus do the same thing Sebastian did, except that Magnus would be loving and gentle whereas Sebastian was a raving lunatic. I rolled us over to Magnus was on top and he looked down at me.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Positive."

I took a deep breath as he slowly reached across my chest to get to his bedside table where I'm guessing he kept the lube. I'm actually glad he left out using a condom, it didn't seem necessary to use one since neither one of us had an STD nor had we any risk of getting pregnant. Being gay had its perks.

He popped the cap and I blinked at the cherry smell coming from the bottle. Was it cherry flavored or just cherry scented? I'd probably find out later but was much too focused on watching Magnus slather some onto three of his fingers and move them towards my opening, teasing the hole there. He took one more look at me and kissed me while inserting his first finger.

I gasped against his soft lips at the half pain and half pleasure feeling I got from the intrusion. It felt alien, having someone's fingers inside me, but I wiggled around against Magnus' hand until I was comfortable with it. It was when I started moaning that he finally added the second one and he did something, hit _something_ that sent waves of pleasure through my body, making me grip his hair and buck my hips harder. He curled his fingers and hit that sensitive bundle of nerves before entering his third finger. I was a moaning mess, completely gone to jello, as he stretched me out, getting me comfortable with the idea of having him inside me.

The loss I felt when he removed his fingers made me whimper, so he kissed me harder and with more meaning to keep me occupied while he reached for the lube again. It took all of my willpower not to burst into tears when Sebastian popped into my head. Magnus noticed the change in behavior and stopped moving.

"Look at me," he whispered hoarsely, pushing my hair away from my forehead.

I forced my eyes open and found that he was very close to me, his face flushed a light shade of pink.

"I know you're scared," he murmured. "But I am not him. I'll never hurt you, understand me? _I'm not him._"

I nodded and accepted his kiss, fluttering my eyes closed again when he bent down to leave fleeting kisses along my neck and down my chest. His tongue dipped into my bellybutton for a moment and he grazed his lips on the inside of my thigh, teasing me.

He showed off his multitasking skills by moving back up to kiss me as he lubed up his member, repeating again that he wasn't Sebastian.

_I'm not him._

My breath hitched when I met his eyes. They were filled with such an intense love that it plucked at my heart strings. He honestly didn't want to hurt me, and I think he was hesitant to continue, but I gave him a firm nod and pushed his head down to make him kiss me. His lips were a good distraction from the pain as he pushed inside me, agonizingly slow.

I almost bit Magnus' lip while I was trying not to cry out at the pain he'd just caused. There was no way to make it not painful, I knew that, but it still really hurt… not nearly as much as it hurt when Sebastian did it, though.

_I'm not him._

Magnus filled me up until his hips hit the back of my thighs and he paused there, waiting for me to tell him when I was ready to go on. I couldn't get past the searing pain and a few hot tears slipped out of my closed eyes. He patiently wiped them away and kissed me lovingly, nuzzling his nose into my cheek.

The pain was slowly residing, or maybe I was just getting used to it, but either way I took another deep breath before muttering, "Okay."

His hands caressed my sides and he pulled out even slower than he'd originally pushed in. Trying to get more comfortable, I wrapped my legs around his tan hips and pushed him closer with the heels of my feet. I'd practically pushed him back inside of me and he barely touched those nerves that sent me moaning.

After a few more minutes of slow thrusts like that, I mumbled that he could go faster. He did so immediately, rolling his hips against me and pulling out faster than before.

We found a nice rhythm then, getting faster and louder and harder with every second he was inside of me. My cock was in between our stomachs and that damn bellybutton ring of his kept gliding up against it, just like it had in my dream.

I bucked into him, all of the pain melting into pleasure when he hit those nerves again, and I found out what he was doing. He was angling himself so that every other thrust was hitting that spot and I was overcome with the roaring sensations all over my body.

Tugging at the handful of hair I had ahold of, I moaned out his name and felt him shake out of rhythm for a second. I don't know how long we'd been thrusting and moaning and touching, but it felt like a lifetime and I never wanted it to end. Magnus' fingers tickled against my ribcage and my walls tightened on their own, making the sensations intensify tenfold.

"God, Alec," he moaned hotly.

I'd been trying to keep quiet for the neighbors' sake but eventually I couldn't control how much noise I was making. His name, profanities, almighty beings, anything you could think of was coming out of my mouth and distributing themselves against Magnus' lips, making them vibrate.

I almost went over the edge when he gripped my throbbing cock and pulled at it, pumping and twisting it skillfully. My fingers dug into his sides and back, moving all up and down his body until they found they're usual place in his hair.

He kept going faster, kept hitting that spot inside me, and I arched my back and bucked my hips to meet his thrusts, creating the most amazing feeling between us. With one of his hands pumping and the other all over me, I gave a strangled cry of his name before exploding in his hand and on our stomachs. He kissed me and came directly after that, shooting off forcefully inside me and making my own climax harder. All I could do was lay there with my eyes half open, squeezing his hair while riding out the best orgasm I'd ever experienced.

However many seconds after that we had stopped making so much noise and I could hear both of us breathing rapidly, like we had just run a marathon. Magnus was about ready to collapse; his arms were shaking and his damp with sweat hair was hanging in his eyes. I unlocked my sore legs from around his torso and he pulled out, falling into bed beside me. He wrapped me in his arms and placed his chin on top of my head, lifting the blankets up to cover out sweaty bodies.

"That was so worth the wait," I whispered against his still hot skin.

He gave a tired chuckle and kissed my forehead. "I think the best thing about this is that you got over your fear," he said. "But I'm still glad I was that good."

I laughed too and felt my eyes slipping shut for what seemed like the hundredth time since we'd gone into the bedroom. Before they fell completely closed, I snuck a glance at the digital clock and my sleepy eyes widened- It was after ten-thirty, nearly an hour since we'd gotten to the bed.

Magnus looked at the clock, too and breathed, "Holy shit. I think that's a new record."

I moved my eyes up to his. "Do you usually time how long you have sex with someone?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes, but that wasn't just sex to me," he said. "This is my first time making love so it automatically makes it a new record."

"That's very sweet and slightly egotistical of you," I said.

"That's what I was going for."

I smiled an exhausted smile and rested my head into the crook of his shoulder, clasping our hands together. I was asleep seconds later, but didn't miss Magnus' last words of "I love you."

**A/N- Cheesy ending, but it's a lemon so you better be fuckin happy. There are many more of these to come, I promise. Sorry if it's a little rushed and sloppy and sad, but this is only my second lemon, so… Yeah. REVIEWS=LEMONS. Just sayin ;)  
>Oh yeah, and REVIEW. I finally gave you what ya'll wanted, no more of that teasing crap. So you better review or Ella is gonna be pissed. No one wants a bitchy Ella, cuz that shit just ain't pretty.<br>-Ella, who hopes you all enjoyed your nice helping of LEMONade. **


	27. Happiness

**A/N- *Facepalm* Son of a bitch. For one, that lemon made me feel like a perv, and two, someone kindly pointed out that Camille was supposed to be living with them and has suddenly disappeared off the face of the planet. SO, because I'm an idiot, let's just say that Camille got her own fucking apartment half an hour away from Magnus and Alec's, mkay? She moved there a while ago, blah, blah, blah, Ella is fucking stupid.  
>I found out today that my 25<strong>**th**** chapter has 25 reviews and 425 hits. I giggled immensely when I saw this.  
>Disclaimer- Pfffffft. I don't own shit. <strong>

After a very pleasant dream/reliving of the night before going on in my mind, the bright sunlight that was leaking through the bedroom window woke me up, making me blink my eyes against the evil beams. I blushed at the thought that we hadn't closed the blinds and someone may have caught us doing the horizontal tango… Oh well, too late now.

I stretched my sore back, legs, arms, _everything,_ multiple muscles pooping and cracking as I did so. Thankfully, Magnus had back problems so his bed was amazingly comfortable, but there was no way I couldn't be sore from the night before. The soreness I felt was absolutely nothing but a bit of discomfort compared to what Sebastian put me through. Maybe because I knew Magnus meant well that it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would…

Speaking of Magnus, he was still sleeping, his tan arms wrapped around me lovingly. I, on the other hand, was awfully uncomfortable with the stickiness in my nether regions and decided to go take a shower. Skillfully, I slinked out of bed without waking Magnus and snuck in for a quick shower. Once finished with that, I slipped on some _clean_ sweatpants and headed to the kitchen, rubbing my fingers through my damp hair.

My initial plan was to make Magnus a huge breakfast but we had absolutely no food in the fridge and I was distracted by Chairman Meow mewing at me in the cutest way. His eyes looked so big and he kept tilting his head to the side, I couldn't help but stop and cuddle him for a little while. The cat was only the size of a smartphone, easily held and fluffy. More mews from him told me that he was hungry but I couldn't find his food to save my life. That much was probably my fault; I didn't exactly keep our kitchen as tidy as I would've liked it to be.

While looking through the pantry, I found a half-eaten jar of peanut butter labeled _Chairman's PB, no touchy._ I blinked at it questioningly then picked it up and screwed the lid off, resting the abandoned cap on the counter. Chairman Meow, now on the tile floor, meowed hungrily at the jar of creamy peanut butter. After spending a good five minutes trying to find a spoon, I dipped it in the peanut butter and bent down to Chairman's level, watching him amusedly as his tongue attacked the spoon.

Magnus was right; his cat was the most adorable peanut butter eater on the planet. His scratchy tongue kept darting in and out of his mouth, licking more peanut butter from the silverware. The cute thing was that even when he seemed to have enough his tongue was still spazzing out, creating a tiny line of the light brown substance on his fuzzy cat chin.

My face = :3

"Whatcha doin there?" Magnus' smooth as creamy peanut butter voice drifted across the kitchen and to my ears. I looked up and saw him wearing one of my sweatshirts and silk pajama bottoms, one hip cocked to the side.

I straightened up and beckoned Chairman Meow to scurry off, clanking the dirty spoon into the sink. "Nothing," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "Morning, honey."

"Honey?" he repeated. He melted into our embrace and nuzzled his nose into my neck. "Haven't heard that one before."

"Would you rather I called you sugar?" I asked.

"If you make it brown sugar, then yes."

"Brown sugar?" I mimicked. "That makes you sound like a pimp."

He pulled back and looked me in the eye. "Aren't I, though?"

"I hope not…"

I felt him chuckle and removed myself from his arms, pecking his cheek. Just like I figured he would, he slinked his arms around my waist and pulled me back, my bare chest flush against his tan one that was wearing my sweater. With the most adorable smile in the world, he leaned forward and ever so gently brushed his lips against mine. The kiss was soft and sweet, filled with all of the love we possessed for each other.

Piercing green eyes looked into my blue ones and we both smiled, silent in the morning sun. It took all of my self-control to keep me from exploding into a girly mess of glittery Magnus-ness. I honestly couldn't get over how _Magnus_ he was. His name was probably synonymous with _perfect_. Or _sexy_.

"What do you want for breakfast, babe?" he asked softly, his hand lingering on my wrist before moving to the fridge.

"There's not much to eat for breakfast," I said.

He turned to me, smirking. "Just because it's morning doesn't mean we have to eat breakfast food."

"Feel free to make whatever you like," I said. "I take great pleasure in watching my man cook." His smile lit up the room and I sat on top of the counter to watch him get to work, completely ignoring the leftover soreness in my body.

Magnus bent his head down into the fridge, inspecting it thoroughly while I most certainly did not stare at his perfect ass. He straightened back up and softly closed the door, looking disappointed.

"You're right," he said. "There is nothing in there. Are you up to going out for breakfast or would you rather have Pop-Tarts?"

I swung my legs back and forth, occasionally hitting the counter with the back of my heel. "I'm good with Pop-Tarts," I said. "Think I'd rather stay here and recover while eating a children's breakfast food instead of going outside."

"I was thinking the exact same thing," he said as he sauntered over to me, his hands resting on my knees. "Pop-Tarts it is."

The most perfect man on the planet, all smiles and golden skin, put the aforementioned fruity food into the toaster, pushing the button down until the little blue light came on.

"Thank you," I muttered. When I held out my arms he instantly walked over to me, letting me wrap them around him.

"Luckily for both of us, making Pop-Tarts hardly requires any effort at all," he said.

"That's not what I meant," I whispered. "But thanks for that, too."

I felt him bury his face into the crook of my shoulder and I squeezed his waist. "What did you mean?" his voice came meekly.

"Thank you for last night." His arms went around my shoulders tighter. "What you said really helped. You're not him."

"You are very welcome, love," he murmured, sounding tired. "I'm just glad I finally got to make love to you."

"Me, too," I whispered, only blushing a little. "Thanks for waiting a year…"

He chuckled a little. "I knew it would be worth it. Once I came to the conclusion that I was immensely in love with you I knew I'd be able to wait as long as I needed to."

There's no way I couldn't smile at that, and the grin taking over my face was one of the biggest ones I'd ever had. "That is unbelievably sweet," I said in his ear. "You know, I felt different this morning than I have in months."

"No doubt you're a bit sore…"

"No not that… though it is true," I said with a laugh. "I feel _happy_… and I'm not scared of him anymore."

"Not scared of who?" he asked.

I raised my eyebrow but answered anyway, "Sebastian."

"What about Sebastian?" he asked.

"I'm not scared of him," I repeated.

"Of who?"

"_Sebastian_."

"What about him?"

"_I am not scared of Sebastian."_

He paused. "I just wanted to hear you say it."

"Oh."

We were both quiet for a moment, just embracing. It was a really nice feeling, not talking but simply _being_ together. The feeling was called happiness.

That feeling was called living.

That feeling was called _love._

"I love you," he whispered, reading my thoughts.

"I love you, too."

The Pop-Tarts popped.

**A/N- Hurray for shortness, fluffiness, and cheesiness! I thought I'd give you something cute and extra Malec because I fucked up with Camille :/ But I hope this chapter is alright, please review. It would be crazy to ask for fifty reviews so I'm gonna ask for like ten. Averaging ten per chapter is pretty… average for me. Right now I'm averaging almost 13 per chapter and that's a new high for me ^-^ so ten would be great!  
>~Ella, who wants some reviews pretty please. <strong>


	28. Way to be Fast, huh?

**A/N- Hey everyone. I have some bad news. I lost my writing mojo and have decided to stop writing forever. AH I'M KIDDING. Jeez, I would never do that. Why would you even…? Never mind. Back to my point, my writing mojo has been slapped in the face by a huge case of writer's block. This is the worst that's it's been in a long time so I am very sorry if my writing isn't as 'ELLA' as it usually is. Jess has been helping me get my inspiration back and it's working so far.  
>Disclaimer- I don't own anything. GOODNESS GRACIOUS WE KNOW.<strong>

I would love to say that Magnus and I went on another excellent adventure in the middle of a local Wal-Mart and proceeded to save the world as the epic fucking ninja badasses that we are, but sadly all we did was watch reruns of shows like American Idol, Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, and all of the other shows that are the stereotypical standard for gay men.

We can't be epic all the time.

To be honest and obvious, sitting on the couch, wrapped in Magnus' arms, the ever shining glow of being with someone I love splayed across my skin, was the happiest point in my life. Magnus was almost unbelievable, like he was some sort of different being, always making me smile even when we had just been arguing. You couldn't stay mad at Magnus; he was _Magnus_

Ever since the night before we'd been closer than ever. I can't even imagine why that would happen. (Sarcasm is great) Really though, if we were inseparable before, we were joined at the hip then. I'm glad no one was visiting at the time- they would have exploded from lovey dovey overload.

"So," Magnus said quietly that night, turning the volume down on the TV. "Tomorrow we are going to go out for the entire day, just the two of us."

I sighed sleepily and stretched my cramping legs out on the couch. "Why such a random date night?" I asked.

He scoffed in such a Magnus way that I cracked a small smile. "Love, tomorrow's our anniversary."

"No… it's not…" I muttered.

"Tomorrow is August twelfth which is one year since we met," he explained.

"Well, yeah, but…"

"But I'm right," he interrupted.

"Sort of," I said. "But our _real_ anniversary isn't until September."

He looked at me funny and blinked a few times. "I'm lost."

I shifted my body so I could face him and cleared my throat, trying to get my words to sound the right way without making it seem like he was wrong. "We met one year ago tomorrow, but we weren't an _official_ couple until a few weeks later," I explained. "Which was when we first kissed."

"You remember when we first kissed?" he asked, a bit skeptically.

"Of course I do," I said. "Nothing compares to that first kiss we had... except last night."

That little smirk he had definitely showed me that my signature blush had showed up from me speaking about the night before, but I tried not to care. Apparently, Magnus found my blush adorable but I didn't believe him.

"Besides," I continued. "You remembered when we first met so it shouldn't be any different that I remember when we first kissed."

"I only remember when we met because you were the most adorable thing ever that day," he said. "With your messed up hair and handcuffs… and those combat boots… I miss those combat boots."

No matter how hard I tried to make it go away, my blushing was getting hotter, I could tell. "I'm going to have to get some new combat boots then."

"Damn, I hope so."

I realized what position we were in and blamed my heated skin on Magnus. My knees were on either side of him so I was sitting on that small strip of skin between his crotch and his stomach. What an erotic pose to be in…

My hands slid from where they had been resting on his chest up to his shoulders, then to his neck and finally grabbing ahold of his midnight colored hair. His own hands gripped my hips and pulled me down to kiss him.

Usually, Magnus was the one to take control, but I was in a dominant mood that time. My alter ego was starting to show as I pushed his mouth open with my own and slipped my tongue inside it. He gave a surprised inhale of breath but didn't pull away, letting his lips and tongue melt into perfect unison with mine. Now I know why he likes being in control so much… it is _really_ fun.

"Mm, wait a second," he whispered. Warm hands pushed gently on my shoulders until I let my boyfriend's mouth go.

"What?" I asked.

"We're still going out tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," I muttered. "We'll do the same thing in September."

"Good." His smirk shined in the dim room. "Now give me those lips back."

I did just that, with a large smile on the lips he was asking for and we went back to our usual evening activities.

* * *

><p>Let it be known that I was the one waiting for my significant other when the next day came. Our original plan was to head out before noon, but it was nearly one o'clock when Magnus finally got out of the bathroom to show off his ensemble for the day.<p>

Surprisingly, he was a lot more toned down than I had seen him in quite a while. The only thing mildly flamboyant about him was the scant amount of dark glitter in his hair that had been left down for the day. Paired with black skinny jeans and a tight green and black plaid t-shirt, the glitter was hardly noticeable. Once I saw the studded belt and green Converse shoes, it was officially my favorite outfit for him. And he had a lot of outfits, let me tell you that much.

"I feel underdressed now," I said, slowly walking over to him as I savored his body. As I got closer, I saw that he had on black eyeliner, too. God, the things he did to my mind…

"How so?" he asked. Bright green eyes slid over my simple black sweatshirt and I subconsciously shied away from his gaze. "You look beautiful as always."

"Thanks. You look even better." I gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking his hand and leading the way out the apartment to the sidewalk. "Where are we heading first?" I asked, letting my legs carry us to the bus stop.

"Well I was hoping to take you out for lunch but we were a little late getting out of the apartment," he started.

"_We?_" I repeated.

He cleared his throat and watched the bus pull up. "Okay, maybe I took a bit longer to get ready…"

"Uh huh."

We boarded the large bus along with a small flood of other New Yorkers and took a seat near the back. Much to my happiness, we didn't get any glares from anyone even though we were still holding hands. Thank goodness Brooklyn was gay-friendly.

"But we'll still go out for dinner, alright?" he said.

"Sounds good to me," I agreed. "Where will we go until then?"

He smiled at me and one of his dimples showed itself. "Wherever life takes us," he said. "And by life I mean this bus."

**A/N- Okay… so maybe my writing mojo isn't COMPLETELY back but I tried. This is about the… tenth time I've tried to write this chapter, no exaggerations, and it's the best I have right now. I'm hoping against all hope that the next chapter will be a lot better. Magnus and Alec get a little surprise. Hehe, I'm not saying whether it's a good surprise or a bad surprise. Aha, it's good. No, I'm just kidding, it's bad. HA, nah man, it's good.  
>Actually… it all depends on how many reviews I have. The more reviews I get the better chance you have of Alec and Magnus getting a good surprise.<br>Or am I just kidding?  
>-Ella, who has thoroughly confused herself. <strong>


	29. Tattoos Burn

**A/N- Hey, hey, hey! Fat Albert here! Nah, I'm just joshin you. GOOD NEWS. My new webstie (I have lots now, YAY!) captainmoosen whose first name I DON'T KNOW, aha, gave me an idea that I MAY or may not use in this story. When/if/when I do use it, SHE GETS CREDIT FOR BEING AWESOME. WOOT!  
>I'm here with a lovely new thing I've invented called WRITING. WOOT WOOT FOR WRITING!I'M!NOT!HIGH!HAHAHAHA!<br>Aha, I, uh, ahem… Let's just get on with it.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing! WOOT WOOT FOR NOT OWNING ANYTHING!I'M!STILL!NOT!HIGH!AHA!<strong>

First and foremost, it was in no way my idea to go into the sketchy tattoo parlor/piercing shop, unarmed, and wearing a sweater. Magnus was the one who just _had_ to get a new tattoo… although, I wasn't exactly complaining. The second we walked into the shop, he turned into old Magnus from Idris- tough, protective, badass, and unbelievably sexy. It's not that I didn't like every day Magnus, it's just that Idris Magnus is the man I fell in love with…

Seeing him in a tattoo parlor was like witnessing a child in a candy store. His eyes lit up and he inhaled the bitter scent of sweaty leather and ink. He led the way to a mahogany front desk that was graphitized with tons of different signatures underneath of very complicated looking designs. There were a few leather chairs along the opposite wall, which also had ink all over it. The entire place was much too small and smelled like a biker gang gone wrong. Magnus made the room seem brighter but I knew it was a dump.

There were tons of tattoo parlors around New York, especially Brooklyn, but of course Magnus would be the one to choose the dirtiest, scariest, most randomly placed shop in the state. And I was in love with this guy.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" boomed a loud, accented voice. The man behind the voice popped up from behind the desk and nearly made me jump out of my skin.

The young man fit the tattoo parlor owner stereotype almost perfectly- greasy black hair, bandanna, leather jacket, "I love mom" tattoo, the whole nine yards. The only difference was that he was wearing mostly pink, except for his black jacket and he was about 5'4". That didn't make any sense to me, but I didn't utter a word about it. He was intimidating, no matter what color he was wearing.

"Hey Frank!" Magnus said happily, flipping his hair out of his face in a very model way. They shook hands firmly and I listened closely to the man's accent again.

"You out of jail or did you just break out again?" he asked with a huge grin on his face.

He was from New Jersey.

"It was juvie," Magnus corrected. "But I'm legally out."

"Well it's great to see you, man!" Frank, probably barely thirty years old, turned to me. "And who are you?"

"Alec," I said, somewhat meekly sticking my hand out for him to shake. He did so and gave me a big grin.

"He your better half or what?" Frank asked Magnus.

In answer, Magnus slinked his arm around my waist so his hand rested on my hip and pulled me towards him. "Sure is."

"I'm happy for you, Maggie," he said, returning to his desk and flipping through a few papers. "Are you two here for a tattoo?"

"I am," Magnus said immediately. "I don't think Alec is really up for his first one just yet."

Feeling brave, I said, "I might get a small one…"

Frank blinked before laughing. "Just because it's small doesn't mean it's less painful."

"Oh."

I felt the stuffy air land on my back again as Magnus pulled his arm away to look through Frank's book of tattoos. Magnus had tattoos, more than I thought he did, but they were all subtle and hidden in such a way that you had to look for them. They weren't like Frank's; blatantly displayed and all over the place.

"Love," Magnus said. He made his eyes real big and batted his eyelashes. "Which one do you think I should get?"

"Something that says _Magnus_," I said.

He got that mischievous look in his eyes and I felt a little wary. "How about something that says Alec?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Frank you remember when I broke out and I stayed here for a bit, right?" he asked the tattoo owner.

"Yeah…"

"You told me about that signature tattoo thing," Magnus said. "I want to get that one."

Frank, seemingly embarrassed, rubbed the back of his neck and played with the ends of his air. "I don't mean to be rude," he said. "But I wouldn't recommend getting someone's name tattooed on you unless you're both dedicated to the relationship. I have my wife's name on me but… we're married."

"He's not William."

With a tiny shrug, Frank agreed to do the tattoo for him and handed me a pen and paper. When I asked what it was for, Magnus explained that Frank could make a copy of my signature using some computer program and get it tattooed on Magnus' skin. I signed my name on the paper and handed it back to Frank, blushing just a little. The tattooed man nodded and excused himself to the back of the shop for a moment while Magnus and I waited at his desk.

"You're going to get my name permanently inked onto your skin?" I asked.

"Tattoos can be removed, hon," he answered. "But yes, your name will be on my skin, in your handwriting. It'll be like you signed me; marked me as yours."

I bit my bottom lip. "I thought we did that last night?" I whispered.

He giggled like he always did when he didn't want to straight up burst into laughter and shook his head slightly. "I mean it in a way so everyone can see."

"Alright," I said. "How much is this going to cost, hm?"

"Won't even put a dent in my small fortune," he said slyly.

"Uh huh."

Frank returned then, carrying a new slip of paper with my carefully scribed signature printed on it. "This shouldn't be too hard to too," he muttered mostly to himself. "You have great handwriting."

"Private school until tenth grade will do that," I said shyly.

It didn't take long to get started. In no time at all, Magnus was lying on the short table, his feet hanging off the end, ready for his new tattoo with his shirt very much nonexistent. My signature was small enough that it fit above his right nipple, settling comfortably on his tan skin.

I held his hand throughout the whole thing, even though it was completely unnecessary. Magnus was chatting casually while Frank dragged a needle filled with ink onto his skin, making it turn a light shade of pink that didn't even compare to my blushing as Magnus talked nonstop about me. He kept giving me compliments and telling Frank all of these supposedly amazing things about me, while occasionally tossing around the suggestion that I should get a tattoo for myself.

"I'm not saying you have to get my name," he said as Frank finished up. "But a cute little design would be nice."

"Magnus," I muttered. "I don't know…"

"Oh come on," he said. "If you get it on your leg it won't hurt so badly."

"I don't have a very high tolerance for pain," I lied.

He scoffed. "Please Alexander. You faired pretty well with broken ribs and…" He paused, eyeing Frank for a second. "Boot camp."

_Thanks,_ I mouthed, grateful for the fact that he didn't mention Sebastian. Just because I wasn't scared of him anymore didn't mean that I wanted to talk about him all the time.

"You don't have to get a tattoo if you don't want one," he murmured quietly.

I bit my lip as I thought for a moment and finally nodded, enjoying the look on his face. "I'll get one," I said.

* * *

><p>"Ooh, I want this one," Magnus said. He plucked the pair of earrings from the rack and plopped them on the counter. His eyes lit up as he saw a silver hoop for his lips so he set it down next to the other piercings. "I want this one, too. OH MY GOD! And these!"<p>

"Guess we're not gonna get dessert tonight," I muttered to myself.

I flinched when my jeans rubbed against my calf, making my skin burn uncomfortably. I'm proud to say that I ended up getting Magnus' initials on my leg, down near my ankle. Two cursive letters '_M. B.' _were now etched onto my skin in black ink. If you looked close enough, you'd see that they were outlined in silver with tiny specs of green in them. Frank was a miracle worker and it didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. It was a little sore and stung some, but after being violated and having broken ribs, pain wasn't much to me.

"Christ, Magnus," he said. "You have enough metal in you already, why do you need more?"

"I don't need more," he whined. "I _want_ more." Before even paying for it, Magnus took the hoop lip ring out of its tiny cardboard hanger and replaced his original diamond stud with it.

"Hey, hey, not around the other customers," Frank said. "At least pay for it."

"Sorry," Magnus muttered. He handed Frank an oddly small stack of bills and I realized that they were fifties. I questioned exactly how many places he robbed.

After he finished paying for and replacing his many new rings, including the tattoos, he dragged me outside and sat me down on a small bench. "Lemme see," he demanded.

I carefully lifted up the leg on my jeans so as to not scrape against my skin. The intricately drawn letters appeared and he smiled at them. I never would have told him this, but I was worried that I would eventually have to remove it. After me with Jace and Sharon, and him with Will, I almost lost faith in our relationship. But the love I felt for him was better and stronger than anything I ever felt for Sharon or Jace. It was real. And I trusted him enough that I knew he would never hurt me or use me to his advantage.

"Earth to Alec," he said, waving his hand in front of my face. His lip ring glinted in the afternoon sun and I wanted to kiss him so badly but he started talking again. "Where do you want to go now?"

"Uhm, I don't really care where we go," I said. "As long as you're coming with me."

"Aw, cupcake." He leaned forward to kiss me and the cold metal from his lip ring made for an interesting sensation.

"Seriously?" I whispered against his lips.

"Cupcake's not going to work then?" he asked.

"Definitely not."

**A/N- Dear chapter, why are you lame?  
>Hey, at least it was longer this time (that's what he said) but reviews are still very much needed. There was a rather large My Chemical Romance reference in here because I'm crazy obsessed with that band. If you find it you get love and cookies from me.<br>-Ella, who needs so reviews to make her happy. **


	30. Showers Aren't Just For Bathing

**A/N- Hello Mortal Instruments fangirls and beyond, I am here with a lovely chapter supplied by captainmoosen. She is made of awesome and came up with the first half of this, while also helping me get my writing flow back when I was down. So give her props for half of this and supplying my mind with happy writing. Also, thank Jess and Bee, my other two websties who just rock in general. They are all Fanfictioners and I have read all of their work. They are all great writers.  
>Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments, nor do I own the first 1,991 words of this chapter.<br>P.S. – I didn't edit captainmoosen's half because I trust her not to be stupid, so if there are typos or nonsensical things, we are both to blame. So is Microsoft Word…**

"Magnus come on! We'll be late!" I exclaimed towards the bathroom.

From behind the closed door I could hear this hiss of Magnus' hairspray and the gentle clicks of his gel bottles snapping shut.

"Oh Alec, keep your shirt on," Magnus responded from the closed door. "On second thought," he continued, "I'd rather you left it off."

I immediately felt the blood rush to my cheeks, making me blush so easily as Magnus always makes me.

"Seriously Magnus we have a reservation and I don't want them to give away our…"

Just as I was about to finish my sentence, the bathroom door swung open and in the doorway stood the most beautiful and sexy person I have ever laid eyes upon.

I exhaled with the last word "table" and just stared at Magnus. Magnus was clothed in a shiny black tux with a sparkly rhinestone cumber bund and matching bow tie. My sparkly boyfriend also wore a dark purple button down shirt, almost dark enough to be considered black but light enough to be noticeable in color. He had his hair down, with his flowing locks nearly reaching his shoulders, just the way I like it. I could see there was glitter in his hair as well as a thin line of shiny black eyeliner around his eyes. I was completely speechless.

"Darling, you'll catch flies if you keep your mouth open too long," Magnus said while smirking.

"Magnus…you look….beautiful," I finally spit out.

"As do you dear," said Magnus as he raked his eyes over my wardrobe.

I decided to wear the very traditional black tux, white shirt, black vest, and a dark blue bow tie to bring out my eyes. No matter how simple I dressed, Magnus would always comment on how ravishing I looked. I never truly saw anything that special.

I watched as Magnus' eyes combed over every part of my body, making me shiver when I saw his gaze linger on my groin area. I gulped and took an unsteady breath. Almost unable to control myself, I crossed the room to where Magnus was still leaning in the bathroom doorway and immediately crashed our lips together.

I saw Magnus' eyes shoot open, clearly surprised by my aggressiveness, but without another second thought Magnus fell into the kiss. Magnus reached his hands up to cup my face, while my hands ventured down to pull Magnus' hips against my own. Magnus groaned at the sensation and smoothly slipped his tongue into my mouth. This caused me to moan and buck my hips hard into Magnus'. As Magnus' breathing picked up he had to force himself to pull away and look deep into my ocean blue eyes, as he once called them.

"Alec, darling, I thought you said we would be late?" asked Magnus.

I could feel my face was rather red and my lips a bit swollen from Magnus' kisses. I was worried Magnus would be able to hear my heart beating through my skin it was pounding so fast.

"I don't care. I want you now," I said huskily, inclining my head for another kiss, but Magnus placed his index finger against my lips stopping me from proceeding further.

"Uh huh. Come now. Let's get going. I didn't spend all that time getting ready to not let anyone see how marvelous I look in this tux," Magnus said smiling.

I took a deep breath. Since when does Magnus refuse to get nasty? I realized that this night must be very important to Magnus and he wanted to make it special. It was our anniversary after all, and I knew for certain Magnus would not let the night go on without certain nightly activities taking place.

"Ok," I replied as I leaned forward and gave Magnus a quick peck on the lips. "But when we get back, you're mine," I said with a mischievous grin and as much bravado as I could muster.

Magnus gulped as I know doubt could tell he felt his cock twitch slightly, for he loved when I was more aggressive.

"We better get going," Magnus said a little out of breath. 

We left Magnus' apartment and hailed a cab to a fancy Italian restaurant where we had a reservation. When we arrived, a maitre'd greeted us and asked for our name. Magnus gave his last name and the maitre'd led us to a small table for two in a small alcove of the restaurant. Both of us thanked the gentleman and began looking over the menu. I just happened to glance up and found Magnus wasn't looking at his menu, but instead had his gaze trained on me.

I smiled sheepishly, slightly concerned about why Magnus was staring at me and asked him, "What is it?"

With a sigh Magnus said, "Nothing dear. You are just really beautiful and I'm so lucky to have found you."

I smiled from ear to ear and reached across the table to take Magnus' hand and, while staring into Magnus' perfect green-yellow eyes, said, "Me too."

The waiter walked over and bid us good evening and took our order. Both of us ordered pasta dishes then passed our menus to the server. When he left the table I asked Magnus, "So how did you know about this place?"

Magnus replied, "Actually, my father said he once took my mother here for their anniversary, so I thought it would nice if we did the same."

I was touched at Magnus' sincerity and thoughtfulness. I knew that his parents had passed away when Magnus was barely fifteen so I knew this place was special for him.

"Well I love it, but I still love you more," I said.

"I love you too Alexander," Magnus said.

I immediately blushed when Magnus used my full name. It reminded me of when we made love and Magnus screamed my full name in complete ecstasy. I immediately thought of that first night, when I let Magnus in and never looked back. I felt my pants suddenly become tighter, as my cock began to harden.

Magnus noticed my blushing and said, "I love how I can do that with simple words or simple..."

Suddenly, I felt Magnus' foot creeping up my leg to rest on the inside of my thigh, dangerously close to my now growing bulge in my pants.

"…touches," Magnus continued.

"Magnus, we can't do this here," I said with cheeks as red as tomatoes and eyes bugging out of my head, fearful of anyone seeing this.

"Why not? No one's watching and the table cloth is full length to the floor," Magnus said with a voice that just dripped sex.

I gulped anxiously and went to protest when I felt Magnus' toes move to massage the tent in my pants. I nearly leapt off the chair but held on to the seat with white knuckles.

"Magnus…stop…we're at a restaurant," I protested.

"But Alec, seeing you in that tux makes me so hard for you. Don't you feel the same?"

I was always appalled at how easily Magnus could talk dirty, as if it was just normal conversation. I knew there was no true way to deny that I wasn't hard now, as I felt Magnus' foot move all the way over my groin and begin to rub up and down, causing my breath to hitch in my throat.

"Ah, I see you do feel the same way darling," said Magnus with an evil glint in this eye.

"No, Magnus," I said and pushed Magnus' foot off my lap.

"Not fair. You stopped me at home so I'm stopping you here," I explained.

Magnus made a pouty face but obliged and placed his foot back on his side of the table, just as the waiter returned with our trays of food.

"There you are gentlemen. Enjoy your meal," said the waiter.

I immediately dug into my ravioli dish and heard Magnus chuckle from the other side of the table.

"What?" I asked, looking up from my plate with a mouth half full of ravioli.

"Nothing, I just guess you're hungry," said Magnus.

"Yeah I am. Today was a long day. Lots of fun, but I'm famished."

I could still feel Magnus' gaze trained on me I speared another piece of ravioli and placed it in my mouth. I removed the fork from my mouth with what I thought was complete normalcy, but Magnus saw something else.

I looked up and saw Magnus lick his lips as I pulled the fork all the way out of my mouth. I caught on rather quickly that Magnus was probably imagining me doing the same thing to his cock. I saw Magnus shake his head, most likely in attempt to think of anything else and enjoy the evening meal. Later on he would admit to me that it was most difficult a task.

When we had finally finished our anniversary dinner we paid and exited the restaurant. It had begun raining and both of us stayed under the awning of the restaurant to prevent our fabulous tuxes from getting drenched. The space was small so we huddled together with our arms wrapped securely around one another.

I couldn't help but look up into Magnus's eyes as I lightly placed my lips against my perfect, sparkly boyfriends'. Magnus gently hugged me tighter, our lips moving in perfect unison and complete passion. Magnus begins to suckle on my bottom lip and I couldn't help the small sigh escapes my lips. Feeling things heating up, I pulled back.

Breathlessly I said, "Can we go back home now?"

Magnus gave a smirk and replied "Anything for you blue eyes." 

Magnus reached out into the pouring rain to wave down a yellow taxi. Both of us hoped in and as soon as Magnus told the driver his address we were attacking each other's lips again. Hands were roaming all over each other's bodies, neither able to get enough of the other. My hands reached under Magnus' jacket and Magnus got the hint to shuck it off letting it fall on the cab seat beside them. Magnus's hands dared to travel down to my waist and tease me with gentle squeezes along my sides. I moaned and shivered and Magnus took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into my mouth.

I eventually had to come up for some much needed air but Magnus did not let up and simply slid his lips to the side of my neck, licking and sucking on my pulse points. I grabbed Magnus' hair and gave a good tug, not entirely sure where all this confidence was coming from but it did not matter so long as it was there. Eventually we noticed the cab had pulled up to Magnus' apartment when the driver loudly cleared his throat from the front seat.

Magnus handed over the fair for the cab and him and I slid out of the cab, practically running up the front steps. Suddenly, Magnus stopped short remembering he left his jacket in the cab seat.

"Go on ahead blue eyes, I'll be right behind you," Magnus whispered in my ear with a sexy undertone.

I continued up the steps and let myself in with my own key that Magnus had given to me when we moved in together. I immediately began to shed all my clothes except my boxers, wanting to leave a little something to the imagination, and then went into the bathroom to quickly run a toothbrush through my teeth and gargle some mouthwash. I checked myself out in the mirror and with a shaky breath nodded to my reflection. I was ready to make this anniversary the best one ever. I was ready to be with Magnus, to feel his body pressed hard against mine, his lips pressed firmly on my own, and his cock buried deep into my behind until I could no longer see straight or walk correctly.

Well, I was still recovering from last night so it might be the other way around, but who am I to complain? It's Magnus being the extremely sexual being that he is… there's nothing to complain about.

The sound of the door closing snapped my attention back to reality and not my daydreams. Magnus was leaning against the shut door in all of his exotic glory, his tux long forgotten and his silk boxers faintly reflecting the bright light of the porcelain bathroom. My heart started speeding up, whether with love or lust I don't know, and we were nearly on top of each other in a millisecond. I shivered when Magnus lifted me up and set me on the granite counter, the cold rock sending goose bumps around my thighs.

In our haste to lock lips, Magnus had managed to hit the knob on the shower and the hot water was cascading down the side of the half open shower door. His eyes took on a mischievous tint and he pretty much yanked me into the shower, letting the jets of scalding water fall across our skin. I took a second to turn the temperature down and our lips collided again.

I let Magnus slip his warm tongue into my mouth and moaned just enough to get him moaning as well. The water dripping off my hair was falling into my eyes and both of our boxers were soaking wet, sending a multitude of different sensations coursing up and down my body.

Magnus snapped the waistband of my boxers and I tugged them off before throwing them out of the shower and onto the floor. They made a plopping sound and were soon joined when Magnus pulled off his, too.

You remember how I said that being stark naked and pressed up against someone just as naked was a bit weird feeling? Try adding water. Makes things so much more interesting.

He made a small noise of surprise when I took control and lifted him up so his back was against the wall. I braced my feet against the sides of the shower/tub combo and let him wrap his legs around my waist. A delicious noise came out of his mouth when I gently scraped my fingernails against his thigh.

"Alec," he panted. "Alexander, please."

That's all he had to say to make me push myself into him, very thankful for the water that acted as lube. He bit his lip in what was probably a mixture of pleasure and pain and resituated himself so he was more comfortable with me being inside him.

Being as rock hard as I was, I couldn't control it when I rolled my hips against him. Luckily, all he did was moan deep in his throat and push against me. I tried it again, looking for those nerves that had sent me over the edge. I wanted him to have the same feeling, but better. He nodded and I pulled out then pushed in again, faster and harder than before. The noises he made started to get louder but I knew I hadn't found that certain spot yet. I would _know_ when I found that spot. I thrust in again and-

"Holy fuck!" he shouted.

I found it.

He was panting and tugging at my hair and pushing me farther inside of him. His hands found my ass and he used it as leverage to lift himself off my throbbing cock until he reached the very tip where he squeezed his walls together. I pushed back into him, probably a little more forcefully than I needed to and he cried out my name again, this time using my full name.

"Faster," he whispered.

I did as he wished and met in time with his thrusting until we created a marvelous rhythm that made my legs shake and my breathing pick up speed. My hands were getting sloppy and at one point my fingers raked across his bellybutton, making his mouth fall open in complete ecstasy. So _that's_ where his sex button was… Feeling brave, I gently tugged at his belly button ring and grinned internally at how many sounds he made.

Something inside me took over, that daring, dominant side that hadn't come out in years, and I whispered Magnus' name right in his ear, taking that chance to nibble on his ear lobe just a tiny bit. My hand wrapped around his cock and he just melted in my hand.

"Oh god, Alexander," he moaned. "Please cum inside me." He stopped puling at my hair to turn my face towards his. "_Please,_" he whispered against my lips.

My hands probably left marks on his hips when I came at his command, going so hard my legs started shaking. The added weight of holding Magnus up wasn't helping but he shot off on my stomach and I felt his toes curl against my back where his ankles were crossed together. His face was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. His head was thrown back and his eyes closed, the tiniest of smiles pulling at his lips. And to think I was able to make him do that.

Eventually Magnus dropped his legs and breathed slowly as I pulled out of him. He was shaking more than I was; the strain of keeping his body tight against mine for so long taking a toll on him. I slid down to the shower floor with him and ran my fingers through his hair when he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Alexander," he muttered.

"Hm?"

"You found my button…"

I had enough strength left to chuckle a little and he smiled up at me.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

About an hour later, after we'd taken a real shower and gotten dressed, Magnus and I were lying on the couch together when his phone went off.

"Shit," he muttered. "I'm sorry baby; my parole officer is bothering me about some shit with my lawyer…" He sighed, pushing the hair out of his eyes. "I wish I could stay here and canoodle with you-"

"Canoodle?"

"Yes, canoodle," he repeated. "But I really need to talk to him so I don't end up going to federal prison for past offences."

My eyes widened. "Oh," I breathed. "In that case, you have permission to go. You gave me an amazing night."

He smiled cutely. "I won't be long," he promised. "Though it might be a bit longer than planned when I have to walk like this."

I blushed a little and pecked his cheek, watching him slip on a shirt and shoes before heading out the door.

After being with someone all day every day for such an extended period of time, once they leave you feel horribly lonely. I didn't know what to do with myself. I really just sat there and watched the Food Network, stroking Chairman Meow for I don't even know how long.

It wasn't until Saturday Night Live came on that I got really worried about where he was. When I had texted him earlier that night he'd said it would only be half an hour but it was nearly two hours since he'd left. Chairman Meow was mewing nonstop for his owner and not helping at all with calming my nerves.

I dialed him and when he didn't answer I started to panic so I called the first person I could think of.

"What?" grumbled a feminine voice I hadn't heard in a few days.

"Izzy," I said. "Have you seen Magnus lately?"

She paused. "No?" Her voice was strained and squeaky.

"You're lying to me."

"No I'm not?" she said.

"Izzy! I haven't seen him in hours and he won't answer his phone," I exclaimed. "Would you just tell me where he is?"

"He said he was going to the jewelry store but he also said not to tell you!"

"Christ." I hung up the phone before she could answer and threw on my shoes and a loose sweatshirt.

The chilly air hit my cheeks and I hailed a cab, directing the driver to go to the jewelry store. I was worrying my head off but then thought I might be overreacting just a bit. Izzy said he was going to the store and I assumed he was going to buy something for me there because I wasn't supposed to know. He could've just been taking too long or got distracted by the shiny objects. But did it take someone two and a half hours to pick out jewelry?

It seemed like it took forever to make it to the store and I threw some bills at the guy before taking off down the sidewalk. When I reached the store, a little red lettered sign announced that it was closed. Where the fuck was my boyfriend?

I tried his phone again with no success and stopped running down the pavement to take a deep breath. All of the worst case scenarios were running through my mind and if I wanted to find Magnus I was going to have to keep calm.

"Magnus!" I called, getting a few odd looks from random passersby.

The alley in between the jewelry store and the pharmacy caught my eye. I blinked at it and bit my lip, thinking about whether or not I should I should venture into to it to try and find Magnus. Curiosity and general worry for my boyfriend's safety brought me into the alley by myself.

"Magnus?" I said quietly.

There was no response, and I began to walk away until I heard the tiniest of exhales. I whipped around and scanned the alley for any source of human life. A human sized lump was lying on the ground, barely moving.

"Magnus?"

God, I hoped and prayed to everything that that was not my Magnus. But at the same time I wanted it to be, just so I knew where he was. I rushed over to the figure and tried to make out any facial features.

"Al…" it muttered. "Alec."

"Oh my god," I whispered.

He was beaten to a pulp; bruises and cuts everywhere. All I could see was his face and a little bit of his arms, but it was bad. I wondered who could've done this to someone like Magnus as I put his head in my lap, leaning against the brick wall of the alley.

"What happened, Magnus?" I asked.

"Jumped," he choked out. "Will and Sebastian."

"They did this to you?" I asked. He nodded and I blinked back tears. They'd gotten us again. What did we ever do to them that made them hate us so much? Did our existence just piss them off?

Magnus was making a motion at something on the ground a few feet from him. It looked like a red box, innocent in all of its beauty. I reached over him, being careful not to disturb his delicate form, and picked up the box.

"What is this?" I asked quietly.

"Open it."

"Magnus-"

"Please."

I sighed and opened up the velvet box, the shiny object inside catching my eye immediately. It was a silver necklace, the words 'Forever and Always' writing in English on a small silver rectangle and another one behind it that had Japanese symbols on it. I guessed it said the same thing and the blue and green stones in the corner of each pendant completed the whole thing.

Magnus' strained voice barely made its way to my ears. "Happy anniversary, Alec."

**A/N- Woot, that sucked. The first half was good (thanks cap'n) but the second half was meh. My fault guys, I'm not up to par today. I would love to have at least ten reviews because I know you can do that. Ten is my average, remember? Just, please review? Please? For me and captainmoosen?  
>-Ella, who is a fail today. <strong>


	31. Wild Night In

**A/N- I am so sorry this took so long, I was distracted by boys xD Ahem, here we go. But first, WHO SAW THE PROJECT RUNWAY FINALE? OMG, Anya freaking won, but I so wanted Josh to win! ARGH! Well, at least she has cool hair.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing.<strong>

"Ow," Magnus hissed again, flinching at my touch. I accidentally pressed harder and he finally smacked my hand away, sending the alcohol soaked cotton ball to the floor where Chairman Meow attacked it. He looked almost satisfied at his work.

"Magnus," I groaned. "Don't be stubborn; it's just to make sure it doesn't get infected." I walked over to Chairman Meow and smacked the top of his head until he dropped the cotton ball so I could throw it away. With a sigh, I sat back down in front of Magnus at the kitchen counter and checked out his cuts.

There were a few on his face and more on his arms and legs but I was more worried about whether or not he had a concussion. The description he gave me of what happened was something along the lines of 'Two dicks cornered me in an alley and beat me up. End of story.' That didn't give me much of an idea as to what sort of injuries he had but Magnus wouldn't elaborate any further.

"Well it hurts like fuck," he said, pulling me onto the stool next to him. "I'm fine, really."

I gave him a pointed look. "When I found you, you were almost unconscious," I stated. "That's not fine."

He shrugged nonchalantly and said he was 'acting.' I watched silently as he scratched at one of his cuts and was suddenly reminded of our time back in Idris when Magnus was usually the one cleaning my cuts. He'd beaten up Sebastian before… it didn't make sense that he'd gotten his ass beat just an hour ago.

I sighed again and reached across the counter to grasp his hands, running my thumb along his bruised skin. "You love me right?" I asked quietly.

"More than anything in the world," was his soft reply.

"Then why won't you tell me what really happened?"

His hands pulled away from mine and I frowned at him. "You can't pull that card," he muttered. "Don't guilt me into this."

"Listen to me," I said firmly, turning his head so he was facing me. "When I was going through all of that shit with Sebastian, you made me talk about it until I got better because you _knew _something was up. So why can't you talk to me, too? You have to tell me about things like this…"

While running his fingers through is damp midnight locks, Magnus finally looked me in the eye and bit his lip, something I rarely saw him do. "I don't know what happened, Alec," he muttered. "I just froze up when I saw them and I thought of what they did to you." He closed his eyes. "I thought of finding you on the bathroom floor and just the look on your face, your_ eyes_… I could handle Sebastian just fine when he was on his own but not with Will throwing punches, too. I'm sorry I let them ruin our anniversary…" He paused and looked at me. "At least you like the necklace."

Smiling, I played with the rectangular pendants around my neck and nodded. "It's beautiful."

He gave me a tiny smile back. "Just like you."

There were no signs of Sebastian or Will for the next few days and Magnus' cuts had faded away into his honey colored skin. We decided not to tell anyone about what happened in the alley. We didn't think it was necessary for my siblings to know and I was secretly worried that Jace would go bat shit crazy if he heard that Sebastian was being a maniac again. _I_ was close to going crazy and beating him to a pulp, but I had no idea where he was living or if he was still in Manhattan. It didn't matter then; he wasn't making an appearance anywhere so we weren't worrying about it.

We were just sitting around on a nice evening later that week when he randomly announced "We're going to have a Halloween party."

I blinked at him and looked at Chairman Meow for support. He just yawned. "Magnus, it's the middle of August," I said.

With a groan, he slinked onto the couch and blew a raspberry at me. "So?" he asked. "Before Idris, I used to throw the wildest and most epic parties in the state, and now I'm so… blah."

I swiveled around in my desk chair where I had been working on an essay for my online college and smirked at him playfully. "Are you saying I've made you boring?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.

"No," he said immediately. "I'm simply suggesting that we need some entertainment in our lives."

"Uh huh." I turned back around to focus on my essay and tried to think about anything in my mind that had to deal with ancient Egyptians. There was nothing in there. A melodramatic sigh filled the air and I shut my laptop to traipse over to Magnus, hoping to negotiate well enough that it got me out of throwing a house party.

"Alec," he groaned when I sat on his lap. "I only allow this when we're not wearing pants, otherwise you'll break me."

With a smirk, I hopped off and sat on the couch instead. "Now what's this about a party?" I asked.

Magnus' face lit up and he crossed his legs on the sofa cushions, reminding me of a small child planning his sleepover party. "Not a lot of people know I'm back so what better way to let them know than throwing a huge party?" he exclaimed. "Ragnor and Camille know everyone in a fifty mile radius and it's only six o'clock, that gives us plenty of time to-"

I held my pointer finger to his lips to shush him and smiled a bit. "Okay… I'll agree to let you throw a party-"

"Yay!"

"_But_," I interrupted his squeal. "Nothing too extreme, alright?"

His answer to that was an excited nod and a long, warm kiss to me. Hands on my knees, he touched our noses together for just a moment before stating "I'll definitely show you my thanks later" and running off to plan his get together.

Watching Magnus Bane, the badass from Idris, squeal all over the place and strut around his apartment while planning a party was one of the oddest yet most adorable things I'd ever seen. My boyfriend was like a kid on Halloween, bouncing off the walls and hyper out of his mind. He had three different people on his cell phone at once, occasionally borrowing mine to text certain people. It was almost like he was a business man, but much more sparkly.

You'd be surprised at how fast he could plan a party… In less than two hours he had drinks and various party foods set up, his surround sound speakers up and ready, and a very sexy vampire costume on. When I questioned this, he explained that he had arranged the whole thing as a costume party instead of a casual one. Then he criticized my sweater and sent me off to his room to find something more 'Magnus-worthy.'

Biting my lip, I wandered into his fucking huge closet and decided to be daring as I came across an article of clothing that was most certainly Magnus-worthy. It absolutely screamed "HI, WELCOME TO MY GAY BAR!" and since it _was_ a costume party I thought _why not_ and just put it on, accentuating it with some other things that really made me feel like Magnus.

By squatting up and down a few times, I got used to the feel of being a Magnus-like clone and got ready for people to arrive, claiming I was taking a shower so as to surprise my lovely boyfriend. His sexy vampire outfit didn't even compare to this.

As soon as the sun sank down into the ground people were showing up at our door, pairs and couples, some of which I'd never seen before. Their costumes were some of the most unusual I'd ever witnessed on a human being and I discretely wondered who exactly considered themselves a friend of Magnus. To be quite honest, I don't even think he really cared who showed up, he just wanted people in his house, eating his food and taking up his personal space.

Immediately after two people showed up, more made an appearance and eventually started popping in by the dozens. Our apartment was going to implode if any more randomly dressed New Yorkers showed up. Music started thumping through the walls, making doors shake and Chairman Meow dart underneath some furniture, but nothing could really be heard over the excited chit chat of the various party goers.

I didn't exactly show myself from my hiding spot in our bedroom until I cracked open the door and saw some silver-painted guy pressed up against Magnus, _my _Magnus, and swinging his head back and forth to the beat of the Lady Gaga song blasting through the speakers. It took a lot of my self-control and sanity to prevent my body from rocketing towards the guy and ripping his head off. My pants made it hard to do so, but I squished and squeezed my way through the much too big crowd of people and found my way to Magnus and the man whore.

"Hey!" he shouted when I yanked him off my boyfriend by his silver shirt collar. I guess I pulled him too hard because he knocked into some other chick that very rudely pushed him back into me. The cheaply painted silver guy fell on his ass but quickly got back up and dusted at his shirt, glaring at me.

"Back off," I said simply, my voice rising to be heard over the music.

"What?" he exclaimed. "You trying to start something with me?"

I faced him very slowly and set my jaw. "Come at me, bro." All he did was scoff and slither around the chick that shoved him, moving back into the throng of people. "Yeah, slink away skank!" I called after him. Someone's hands were on my waist and I almost punched whoever it was in the face until I saw that it was Magnus.

"Who are you and what have you done with my innocent Alexander?" he purred in my ear. I could feel his eyes rake across my body but surprisingly I didn't care that he was blatantly checking me out around hundreds of other people. I kind of liked it. "Are those my jeans?" he asked.

I nodded and looked back down at my tight black skinny jeans, seeing the light reflect off my brightly colored tank top. "You said it was a costume party." His eyebrow rose at the sound of my voice and a tiny smirk appeared on his face.

"Are you drunk?"

I grinned. "Not yet." With a swipe of my hand, the drink he had been holding was now in my possession and I took a swig of it before even figuring out what it was. The burning sensation that ran down my throat as I swallowed the bitter liquid alerted me that it was some sort of alcohol. Whiskey, maybe. I suddenly didn't care and chugged the rest of it down, enjoying the satisfying after-burn and not worrying about my actions at the time. I knew I'd probably regret it later but what did it matter? I was three years away from legal age, I could join the army for Christ sake so I should at least be allowed to drink.

Right?

"Alexander," Magnus said firmly, taking the empty cup from me. "You can't handle this stuff, I can barely deal with it."

"Oh please." I tried to get another cup but he stopped me.

"What is up with you tonight?" he asked suspiciously.

I groaned and reached for the cup again but he obviously wasn't going to give in until I gave a good enough answer. "You've got to admit that things have been pretty shitty lately, right?" he nodded. "Then let me have tonight to let loose, to be the crazy teenager I never got to be. Tomorrow when things are fucked up again, you can say I told you so, but let me have my night. Weren't you just saying we could use some entertainment?"

"Yes…"

"Then let's live a little, be crazy, drink, have some _fun_," I said.

"That's a very convincing argument," he muttered to himself. "I'll let you do what you please, but if you feel the need to vomit do so in the trash can."

"Deal."

"Oh," he said, pulling my closer. "And don't leave my sight."

"I'd never think of such a thing."

He smirked at me. "Care to dance?"

"I'd love to."

Tossing the cup over his shoulder to where it landed somewhere on the floor or upon someone else, Magnus grabbed the sides of my tank top and pulled me flush against his body, my ass right up against his crotch. Warm lips kissed at my neck and we moved in time to the fast rhythm of Adam Lambert's Strut. It wasn't until three songs later that I almost died of thirst and dragged him along with me to a clear space away from the dance floor that held a table and all of the refreshments. And I'll be honest, I was strutting not walking.

"Eh, look who it is!" I shouted at Ragnor who was casually sipping at his drink while leaning against the nearest wall. He jumped but gave us a nod until he saw my ensemble.

"Having fun, you two?" he asked.

"Fuck yes we are," I slurred at him, the one drink I'd had fifteen minutes earlier getting to me. Without thinking, I grabbed another concoction of the same types of alcohol that were in Magnus' drink and guzzled that, offering some to him but drinking more when he declined.

The rest of the night is sort of lost on me; I was ditzy and drunk and horny as fuck, grinding on my boyfriend like there was no one else in the room. But there are certain parts of the evening the really stick out in my memory. I distinctly remember feeling the bulge in Magnus' pants and making out with him in front of everyone, earning the sitcom famous 'Ooooooh' from the partygoers. Thank all that is good and holy, neither Jace nor Isabelle could make it. Prior commitments or something.

Another thing I know for sure I did was feel him up in the middle of the living room and drag him to our bedroom where Chairman Meow had been hiding. My brain wasn't so fogged up from binge drinking that I couldn't lock the door but I remember almost missing the bed.

I was about to undo Magnus' belt when his hands stopped me and he looked me right in the eye. "Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"_Yes_," I moaned, bringing his hand away from his belt and down to my straining erection. Those skinny jeans were getting tighter by the second and him stalling things was not helping at all.

"You're drunk," he stated plainly.

"And needy," I said.

Magnus pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. I could tell just by his demeanor that he was a bit tipsy, too. "Alec, I'm not going to take advantage of you when you're drunk."

"Oh come on," I groaned to the ceiling. "You're drunk, too, and you're not taking advantage of me if I like it."

Some sort of disagreement was going to come out of his mouth if I didn't convince him immediately so I slammed my lips to his and rolled my hips against him, begging for him to do _something_, anything to relieve me. "Please?" I whispered.

In the dim light of our bedroom, the outside noises of chattering and a thumping bass drum could barely be heard but the aroused noise he made reached my ears in no time. I was going to have my way with him if it was the last thing I did.

Slowly, he let me remove his vampire pants and shirt, his cape having been long forgotten in the sea of people outside. He was just as hard, if not harder than I was, his cock making a tent in his boxers. My mouth started watering and I quickly shook off my clothes as well until I was in my boxers.

We rolled over so I was on top of him and I wasted no time by forcefully kissing him and slipping my tongue in his mouth. My dominant side was starting to show again and there was nothing I could do about it but I think Magnus was finally beginning to enjoy himself. Our kisses were wet and sloppy, nothing like we had been the first time we made love. This time was different; we weren't looking to make love, we were looking for some way to get it in before we both exploded.

I practically ripped his underwear off as he simultaneously did the same to mine and we kicked them off until the landed somewhere on the floor near the bed. The first thing I did was wrap my hand around his throbbing member and twist at it until the wetness of his pre-cum dripped onto my fingers. Magnus was making all sorts of noises that were absorbed by my lips as he bucked into my hand from below me, begging for more.

He pouted when I pulled my hand away from him but brightened again when I commanded him to get the lube from our handy dandy end table. The cool bottle was in my hand a millisecond later, sending waves of excitement throughout my body. I was getting what I wanted, and fast.

His cock twitched ever so slightly when I popped the cap and slathered some onto my fingers. I made a split second decision and went for his dick instead of where my fingers usually went. The surprise was obvious on his face but it quickly turned to ecstasy when I continued my previous hand job. Once all the sticky substance was on him, smooth and ready, I lined my entrance up at his head and slowly slid on until I was completely filled with him.

"Shhhhit," I moaned, throwing my head back.

He made a very sexy noise in the back of his throat and thrust his hips up just enough to reach that spot in me that always made things ten times better. I experimented in rolling my ass against him and found it to be very effective in the pleasure category. If I moved my hips just right I could feel every inch of him inside me, experience the heat he was giving my body, feel the hot pulsing of his manhood. My hand, resting on his stomach, curled into a fist as I bit my lip, willing myself not to blow my load right there. We'd just started.

"Mmm," Magnus moaned as I rolled into him again.

He began to create a perfect rhythm between the two of us and soon I was panting like I'd just run a marathon. Profanities filled the room as we picked up speed, occasionally throwing out each other's names and other indecipherable noises that luckily could not be heard outside in the jam-packed party space.

The noise I made was most certainly one I would've been embarrassed about when Magnus saw how hard I was and took control by pumping me up and down at the same time he was thrusting his burning cock into me. The telltale sign of the coiling sensation in my abdomen made me fall out of rhythm for a moment, only to be brought back in by Magnus. I moaned loudly when he stroked my head, coating his thumb in the wetness that had collected there.

Feverish goose bumps appeared on Magnus' sweaty skin when I contracted my walls around him, making him throb even harder. Without much warning, he came inside me harder than I'd ever felt him and I came only seconds later, the aftermath of his orgasm making mine last longer. The room started to spin and I closed my eyes, seeing tiny black and white dots appear in my vision. I stayed around him, breathing steadily, until I had enough energy to open my eyes and get off of him then collapse onto the inviting mattress.

My head was pounding and my eyes were slipping shit again, but Magnus helped me under the blankets and pulled me close, cradling my body in his until I passed out cold.

**A/N- You know, I think I'm getting better at these lemons.  
>After re-reading my entire story like the paranoid weirdo I am, I realized that me whining after very chapter about how bad it was really gets on my fucking nerves. Go ahead, admit it, that was fucking annoying. I looked back at all of those chapters and figured out that they were actually pretty good. As of right now, I hate this chapter so badly, but I'll probably love it in a few days. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I would LOOOOOVE to get to 410, pretty pretty please, because I KNOW you guys can do that. My highest number of reviews for one chapter was 26. Let's see if we can beat it *hopeful face*<br>-Ella, who hopes this chapter doesn't… never mind "/ Happy fucking Halloween. **


	32. Puking Can Ruin Your Entire Day

**A/N- You know… I was checking out my story stats today and found out that the chapters that had lemons in them or whose titles **_**sounded**_** like they had lemons in them got more hits for this month than any other chapters (besides the most recent one and the first one.) For example, chapters like "2 sxy 4 u" "Princesses and Incest" "Worth the Wait" and "Showers Aren't Just For Bathing" all got more hits than any other chapters. So I couldn't help but wonder~  
>Who the fuck is jacking off to my story?<br>You all are so perverted xD  
>But, hey, <strong>_**I'm**_** the one who wrote them that way…  
>This note isn't over yet, I also want to say thanks for the big hunk of reviews I got! Love everyone last one of you, even those perverts. ;)<strong>

**Disclaimer- I don't own shit.**

**P.S. – This chapter is going to be short. Get over it. **

In any romantic comedy that was ever created, there's always a drunken one night stand that ends in fighting but then the happy couple makes out in the pouring rain and it concludes happily. Whenever you see that movie you always think _Oh, that'll never happen to me_… and you're always wrong. Unless you're a hardcore Christian or something like that, you are more than certain to have a one night stand, whether it's with someone you know or not. And, if you don't have a one night stand, you're at least going to have drunk sex. And if you don't have drunk sex once in your lifetime … you will forever be sad.

Drunken sex may sound like a brilliant idea at the time, but once you pass out from the combination of hard sex and binge drinking, you wake up the next morning with various bodily fluids on your everything, a headache the size of the Great Wall of China, a churning stomach, and an angry significant other.

Talk about a rough morning.

The first thing I did when I woke up was dart to the bathroom and puke everywhere, barely making it to the toilet in time. Once done with vomiting, I sat back and swiped my sticky hair away from my forehead. My head was swimming and no amount of blinking made it stop so I leaned against the wall and breathed deeply until I knew I wouldn't throw up again.

Someone in the doorway cleared their throat and I swayed my head to the side to see Magnus, leaning up against the wall smoothly with a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. The cinnamon smell wafting from it was strong enough to make my stomach tumble again.

"Hey," he whispered.

I sighed. "Hi."

* * *

><p>"So," I muttered, rubbing the side of my coffee mug thoughtfully. "Are you positive I did all of that stuff?"<p>

"I'm sure, love," Magnus said. He sipped at his own coffee and batted his eyelashes at me, looking oddly innocent after having told me all of the explicit things I'd done the night before.

"Uh… and we um…?"

"Had sex?" he finished for me. "Yes."

My head was still pounding no matter the amount of extra strength Tylenol I popped and his words echoed deep in my brain but I refused to hear him. "You're _absolutely sure?_" I asked again.

"Why don't you ask your bum?" he said. "It must be damn sore from how you were goin' last night."

I shifted uncomfortably and winced at the random pain. "Yeah, it hurts."

"I don't doubt that," he muttered into the rim of his coffee cup. "You definitely weren't yourself last night…"

Sighing, I rubbed my eyes and put my head in my hands, trying to stop my growing migraine. "How bad was it?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, for starters, you were dressed like me so that really added to the tipsy gay guy affect," he said. "You got so drunk I think you almost blacked out at some point and… I don't even know. It was weird, let me tell you that much."

I groaned and slowly lifted my eyes to his. "How come you remember all this and it's just a blur to me?" I asked.

"It was your first time being drunk, correct?"

If I had nodded, I would've puked again so I resorted to forcing a tiny 'yeah' out of my mouth instead.

"That's why," he concluded. "You'd never had alcohol before so you didn't know how much you could handle. I believe you alone drank the majority of a bottle of whiskey. That's pretty damn impressive for your first time."

All of the information trying to be retained into my brain was making my head pound even harder but I hated not knowing what I'd done so I kept asking Magnus questions about the night before until something came to my attention. He had been drunk as well but he remembered just about everything… so why hadn't he stopped me?

When I asked him this he just shrugged and sipped at his lukewarm coffee. "I don't know," he said. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself; who am I to rain on your drunken parade?"

"Magnus!" I exclaimed. "You let me run around being inappropriate and rude to random guys? And then you did absolutely nothing when I… when _we…_" I blushed just thinking about how I had acted the night before and Magnus raised his eyebrow at me.

"Sex, Alec._ We had sex_," he said. "The people who saw you and spoke to you will never see you again, excluding Ragnor, so what does it matter? If I'd tried and stopped you last night you would've whined about it until you got what you wanted because you were _drunk_. As for us having sex… I don't see why you're so upset about that."

"Because when we have sex I want it to mean something," I said. "I don't want to do it just for the sake of doing it."

"Last night was different and you know that," he stated plainly. "You were drunk, I was drunk, you were horny, I was horny. Would you be happier if one of us had had sex with a random stranger?"

"No…"

"Then stop it. There is absolutely no reason for you to be so mad." He was getting irritated then and it was obvious in his expression. "We're a couple; sex is part of the relationship. Last night was like, what, the fourth time?"

"Third," I corrected. "And I'm mad because I wasn't in a very coherent state and you went along with whatever I did when you could've stopped me from making an ass out of myself."

"What did you want me to do, Alec?" he exclaimed. "Say 'No, I won't have sex with you. Go away'?"

"Yes! That's exactly it. From what I'm hearing, it sounds like you allowed me to get completely drunk and then took advantage of me."

His laugh was humorless. "Took advantage of you?" he repeated. "That was not at all my intention when you were grinding up against me and giving me that sexy look you always give me. I wasn't thinking anything like that when we were in my bedroom!"

"_Our_ bedroom."

"Whatever!" he almost yelled at me. "My point is that you shouldn't be bitching about this; you should be thankful that I made you a very intricately created black coffee to nurse your hangover and was nice enough to not be pissed at _you_ for getting shitfaced at my party. Yes, we had sex while we were totally hammered, and yes, that wasn't such a great idea, but there's absolutely no reason for you to be mad at me. We were _both_ drunk; it's not like I raped you!"

He froze at the same time I did, though his eyes got wide and mine closed slowly. We hadn't said the word in weeks but it still had the same effect on me. The feeling of Sebastian being on me, around me, was coming back again but not nearly as strong as it used to. I'd been a little more on edge about it since they'd jumped Magnus, though it'd been less of an issue until then.

"Alexander," he whispered. I felt his hand lay on top of my hand but I quickly slid it away as I stood up abruptly, feeling the tears coming on. It wasn't just the word that made me emotional; it was the memory, popping up out of the blue at the most inopportune time. And on top of that, I'd just been told that I'd been a drunken bastard for an entire night and screwed my boyfriend without remembering it.

The sudden movement of standing up made me unbelievably nauseous and I faltered in the middle of the living room as I felt that black coffee coming back up.

"Alec." His hand was on my shoulder now, turning me around. "Please don't be mad. I didn't mean-"

"No, I just…" I didn't even know what to say or do after that. It was such a random bout of emotions and arguing that it was too much for me. My brain was still foggy from the hangover and it was going to shut down if something else happened.

He slowly pulled me towards him, being extremely hesitant with me but it wasn't necessary; I melted into him and locked my hands around his waist as his arms went around my neck.

"I'm sorry for saying it," he murmured into my shoulder. "I know you hate it."

"It's okay, really," I said, genuinely meaning it. "I'm sorry for… everything else."

He chuckled softly, I could feel it in his chest. "Shit happens," he answered. "Just promise me you won't get drunk like that ever again."

My stomach churned roughly. "You can count on that."

**A/N- *Facepalm* don't say it, don't say it, don't say it Ella, don't you dare, you're reviewers will fucking hate you. Oh good lord, please just review before I cry at myself.  
>-Ella, who hopes her chapter was alright and just realized she used the word sex about 403204302948302984 times. <strong>


	33. Maybe She Does Have a Heart

**A/N- THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET AND FANTASTICALLY AMAZING REVIEWS! I mean it… and uh, there won't be A LOT of Malec in this chapter because… ah well, you'll find out. You'll probably hate my guts by the end of this chapter but I do what I gotsta do.  
>Disclaimer- same thing it's been for the last 32 goddamn chapters… I own nothing. <strong>

"What do you think she wants?" I asked Magnus again.

He was too focused on driving to really answer but gave me a small "Don't know…" and took the right turn at a stoplight to get to my house.

After our argument the day before, Magnus and I had been giving each other some space but I immediately

clung to him when my mother gave me a stoic call saying that she needed me at home as soon as I could. She didn't sound angry, nor did she sound horribly depressed so I tried not to think about worst case scenarios. That wasn't working much for me; I was paranoid as hell and I think Magnus was paranoid that I was paranoid.

"What if something happened to Max?" I exclaimed frantically.

His hand squeezed mine gently. "Calm down, love," he soothed. "If something happened to Max, your siblings would've called you first, not your mother- I mean ex-mother. And, knowing Maryse, she would have probably been screaming or sobbing so…" His voice trailed off but I understood what he meant.

Much too soon, we pulled into the driveway of my huge mansion house and Magnus unnecessarily opened my door for me, asking if I wanted him to go with me.

Closing his car door behind me, I shifted from foot to foot and thought for a moment. "Whatever the situation is, I don't think having you there will help, as much as I'd like you to be my crutch," I said with a sigh. "Will you walk me to the door, though?"

He nodded and grasped my hand as I slowly walked to the front door, dreading what was behind it. Magnus was being unusually quiet and I could tell he didn't want to let me go in by myself. Arguing or not, he would always be protective of me. At my front door, we turned to face each other and both our hands were sweaty with nervousness.

"You'll call me if something happens?" he asked quietly.

"Mhm." I didn't want to let him go and pulled him in for a warm, reassuring kiss.

"Good luck in there," he called as he slowly walked back to his black car. It wasn't until he had driven away that I realized we hadn't said 'I love you' like we always do but I shrugged it off and got back to the main issue.

The front door was surprisingly unlocked and I stepped into our grand hallway, covered in paintings and sculptures. Maryse had told me to meet her in the library at eleven so I immediately took the old elevator upstairs, hearing it creak with every movement.

My cat, Church, was waiting outside the elevator doors when I arrived on the right floor, ready to lead me to the library. Oddly, his eyes searched me like he was disappointed in me or something. He was giving me the same look Maryse had given me not so long ago. Maybe I was seeing things.

The library wasn't far from where the elevator was and my footsteps echoed down the hallway as I slowly trekked to the one place in the world I didn't want to be… besides Idris.

Maryse was just as intimidating as the last time I'd seen her, all cold stares and frowns. It seemed as though she had aged ten years in just a few weeks but I wasn't sure why. When she noticed me enter the room, she stood up slowly and gave me a curt nod, her lips pursed as they always were.

"Alexander," she said quietly.

"Maryse."

She cleared her throat and walked a few steps closer to me, though she was oddly hesitant to do so, like I had a contagious disease. "I realize I called you here quite abruptly," she started. "But Max wishes to see you."

My heart stopped and soared at the same time. Max didn't hate me or want to kill me or think I tried to kill him, it was such a relief and one of the many things bothering me was lifted off my shoulders for once. I actually smiled.

"Really?" I breathed.

"Yes. He asks for you every day," she explained quietly. "Your father and I have agreed to let you see him a few times a month. He… He's too young to understand, Max is, and we've been telling him you moved to focus on your studies."

"When will I get to see him?" I asked.

"Today," she answered. "And again in two weeks but you must have him back by one o'clock, understood?"

"Of course," I said immediately.

"He's in his room." I nodded and began to walk past her but she stopped me by grasping my arm. "I'm not doing this for you, Alexander," she muttered. "Nor am I doing it for myself. It's for Max."

"I'm aware."

Maryse let me go then and I nearly ran to Max's bedroom down the hall, almost out of breath by the time I got there. I barely knocked on the door, second guessing myself eight times over, but a soft "Come in" came from the wooden door. I opened it slowly and smiled when I saw Max lying on his bed, comic books strewn about the sheets. The only thing that made me cringe was the small scar on his cheek where one of his really bad burns had been, but the joy on his face when he saw me was enough to make the thought of his burns fly away. I fell to my knees as he ran towards me, exclaiming my name, and caught him in my arms. He was smiling hugely, making the scar on his cheek almost disappear.

"I didn't know you were coming home today!" he said excitedly.

I could feel myself choking up so I just embraced him again, blinking away the tears that had collected behind my eyes.

"How long are you staying?" Max asked happily.

"Just for today," I sniffled, clearing my throat. "But I'll be back in a few weeks and I've got until one o'clock until I have to leave. We can go out and get some ice cream and go to the park if you want."

"I'm gonna go get my shoes on!" He ran downstairs as I stayed on my knees on his carpeted floor, wiping away my happy tears and collecting myself before joining him at the front door again.

* * *

><p>"So what's college like?" Max asked, licking his mint chocolate chip ice cream again.<p>

I shrugged nonchalantly and stared down at the picnic table we were sitting at. "It's like highschool but bigger," I said vaguely. Having never been to college before, just taking online courses, I had no idea what college would be like but I told Max about the classes I was taking.

"Did you make any new friends?" His too big glasses slipped down his nose and he had to push them back up.

"Yeah," I said with a smile. "Ah, there's Ragnor and Camille. They're both really great. And there's this guy named Magnus… He's my best friend. You know, he lived in London for a while."

"Really?" he asked through a mouthful of ice cream. Max loved London and any place in Europe and has always wanted to go there.

"Really," I said, laughing and wiping ice cream off the corner of his mouth. "I'll ask him for some pictures and bring them to you next time." My phone vibrated on the table, telling me Magnus had sent me something, but that's not what made me start. It was nearly one o'clock. "Shoot, Max," I muttered. "It's time to go, buddy."

"Aw man," he whined, pouting.

"I know." I stood up and he stood with me, frowning into his ice cream cone. From the park we could walk back to the house but it was a short walk and Max didn't talk much.

We arrived at the mansion with five minutes to spare and I walked with him up to his room, passing by Robert at one point. He didn't even acknowledge me and walked right by, raising his eyebrow only slightly at me.

"I don't want you to go, Alec," he muttered pitifully when we stopped at his bedroom doorway.

"Well I'll see you in two weeks, okay?" He nodded but I saw the moisture on his cheeks and carefully wiped it away. "When Jace and Izzy get back from whatever they're doing, ask one of them for their phone and you can call me whenever you want."

"Okay…"

I kissed his forehead and ruffled his hair before leaving him to his comic books, my heart tugging painfully in my chest.

* * *

><p>I took the bus home and arrived at our apartment by a quarter after one, feeling lonely and tired from the stress of the week. I'd been almost scared out of my wits three times and it was making me paranoid.<p>

"Magnus?" I called as I unlocked the door and stepped inside.

His head popped out of the kitchen and he gave me a shaky smile. "How was it?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Fine. Max and I got to have some time together and Maryse agreed to let me see him every month," I explained.

"Oh good," he said. "So Max doesn't hate you?"

"Not at all," I answered with a smile. "He actually misses me."

My day with Max had made my mood lighten and I leaned forward to kiss him gently. His mouth tasted oddly minty to the point where it was almost unbearable but I could still detect something else. I pulled away and gave him a look.

"Why do you taste like cigarette smoke?" I asked quietly.

He visibly swallowed and bit his lip. "You didn't call me like you said you would and you didn't answer my text so I got worried…" He paused. "And we're all out of gum."

"No, Magnus," I muttered. "Those things will kill you."

"I'm sorry." His eyes were cast downward to the floor and I sighed. "I only had one."

"That's one too many," I said. "I know those help calm you down but they're awful for you."

"I know…"

"Today is supposed to be a good day, alright? No arguing, no worrying about crazy people or parents, no _smoking_." He nodded. "And maybe later we can call Ragnor and hang out somewhere, get the gang back together."

"Okay, but…" I watched silently as he opened up one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, forcing it into my hand. "Take these for me. I don't want to be tempted."

I gladly took it from him and tossed the pack in the trash, slamming the lid closed to make a point. "No more of that," I said firmly. "Go call up Ragnor and maybe we can go to the bar later, shoot the shit."

"A bar?" he repeated. "I'm going to assume you're gonna be the designated driver?"

"Pssh, yeah, with you and Ragnor there I'm going to have to be."

**A/N- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Steelers beat the Bengals, SUCK IT CINCINNATTI! Sorry to any Bengals fans out there, but I'm a Fuckface when it comes to football xD Anyways, sorry about the lack of quality in this chapter, I'm just excited for the next one. I love Ragnor with all my heart, thank the lord he's bisexual ;) Someone help me, I'm fantasizing about a fictional character. OH AND BY THE WAY YOU ALL BETTER **_**FUCKING**_ **REVIEW OR I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEADS AND FEED THEM TO MY DOG. Not really. But reviews would be nice.  
>- ELLA!<strong>

**P.S. – The next chapter may have a possible lemon in it but you're reviews are the only things that'll make that happen. **


	34. What an Odd Place for Jizz

**A/N- JUST REACHED 100 FAVES! Actually, that's a lie, I got that like… yesterday… *shifty eyes* Here's the next chapter which probably won't have any lemons because I'm really sick and I won't have time to perfect it because I'll be running to the bathroom to puke. Yay. -_- OOOOHH by the way, I also just reached thirty thousand hits. It's a good day, minus icky sickness. **

**Disclaimer- I'm a thirteen year old girl with frizzy hair, glasses, and lots of puke. Do you think I own any famous book series? The answer is no.**

"You _really_ said that, Alec?" Ragnor asked me through his immense amounts of laughter. Embarrassed, I nodded ever so slightly. "Q? Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately," I muttered.

Ragnor and Magnus had been laughing about the pitiful answer I'd given my confused boyfriend when he asked me why I changed the sheets on our bed. I would've rather talked about my day with Max but I let the two best friends have their fun while slightly mocking me. It was embarrassing and almost painful to endure… They were lucky I was in a good mood; otherwise bad things would've happened to good people.

The three of us were sitting at a small round table pretty close to the actual bar. Ragnor and Magnus were on their second round of beer, and I, being the designated driver, had to sip idly at a glass of ginger ale. We'd been there for almost an hour but it was barely nine o'clock and Magnus wanted to stay there till at least eleven. That meant we'd more than likely be leaving at three in the morning.

It was a little odd being in a bar at age eighteen, but Ragnor supposedly knew a guy and got us in without anyone asking any questions.

"Oh good lord, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard." Ragnor was beside himself, covering his face with his hands and nearly choking on his beer when he tried to drink it.

My cheeks were on fire, as they should have been, but I was used to them poking fun at me and just when with it. "Hey, I've done more embarrassing things and you should know that," I said. "You remember my first day at Idris right?"

"How could I not?" he bellowed heartily. Maybe Ragnor had some Scottish or Irish in him because he had a very mighty laugh that made the majority of the bar turn and see who was making so much noise. "You were so scared! Didn't you almost shit your pants?"

I looked down at my ginger ale silently. "No…"

"Oh, it's okay Alec," Magnus cooed, touching my chin. He turned to Ragnor. "So how have you been? I haven't seen you since the party."

Ragnor chuckled into his beer. "I should be asking you the same thing," he said. "Last time I saw both of you, you were dragging each other into the bedroom and never came out." His trademark smirk pulled at his lips. "So tell me, were you two banging or was someone being murdered in there?"

Magnus and I shared a nervous laugh and I saw his neck turn a light shade of pink. I don't know if he was embarrassed because he knew people heard us or because he knew _Ragnor_ heard us. Either way, he was turning redder by the second.

"The first one," we said simultaneously. Huh. I guess that's what happens when you're around someone every day for over a year…

"I don't know if I should say congratulations or fuck you."

"Why the second one?" I asked.

"Because," he whined. "Everyone is getting some, but me. You two, Camille, every one of Camille's boy toys, Iz-" My glare made him stop talking but we got the gist of it.

"Oh please, Ragnor," Magnus said, sitting forward. "You're bisexual, you have your own apartment in a freakishly populated state called New York, you've got a shit ton of money, lots of connections, and you're damn sexy."

"And I _still _can't get laid!" he exclaimed. "Ugh, I need a scotch."

"I'll get it," I offered, standing up a little too fast. Don't really know why, but Magnus giving Ragnor a bunch of compliments rubbed me the wrong we and I needed an excuse to leave for a second. Guess I'm the jealous type.

I strolled on over to the bar and leaned against it as I asked for a scotch for Ragnor. The bartender smiled a little too kindly at me and got right on that, excepting my request to just add it to the tab. A few seconds later, a full glass of honey colored liquid slid down the wooden bar and stopped right in front of me, not one drop of the alcohol sloshing out. It was pretty impressive.

"Is that for you?" the bartender asked, nodding to the drink. "You don't really look like a scotch guy."

The liquid looked nice but the smell wafting from it burned my nose. "I usually stick to ginger ale," I said shyly. "This is for my friend."

"Oh." His lightly colored eyes darted over to the table Magnus and Ragnor were quietly talking at. "So you're just friends?"

"Yeah…" He was talking about Ragnor, right? So it technically wasn't lying when I said we were just friends. I didn't realize he was quite obviously flirting with me until a few seconds later which just shows how naïve I am. No one besides Magnus and somewhat Sharon had ever flirted with me so I didn't exactly know the signs.

The mildly attractive bartender was halfway through asking me for my number when a warm hand grasped my left hip, the person attached to it appearing on my right and not giving me the chance to politely tell the bartender to fuck off.

"Hello, love," Magnus said with a cocky smile. I had noticed over the last few months that his accent got thicker when he was pissed, nervous, hyper, or crying out in ecstasy. It was definitely thick and he wasn't crying out in ecstasy, nor was he hyper or nervous so I assumed he was pissed.

My fault.

Apparently he wasn't _that_ mad at me because his tongue was immediately down my throat and the hand that'd been on my hip was now groping my ass, making me gasp and moan at the same time. I wish I could've seen the bartender's face when all of this was happening. I bet he felt rejected.

Magnus pulled away from me and smiled, before looking at the guy who was flirting with me. "I'm sorry," he said. "Were you two talking?"

The poor, rejected, lonely, bartender didn't even have time to answer as Magnus dragged me across the bar and to a small empty bathroom.

He leaned against the closed door and blinked at me. "Seriously?"

"Sorry," I muttered. "It's not my fault I'm clueless when it comes to people flirting with me. It took me days to figure it out with you!"

"You weren't going to give him your number were you?"

"Hell no!" I exclaimed. "Why would I need to give him my number when I have you?"

"I'm just making sure you're not _that_ clueless!"

"No one is that clueless."

He sighed softly and looked at me. "Well at least you let me make out with you in front of someone."

"Without being drunk," I added.

"That too." He pecked my lips and began to walk away but I pulled him back to me by his wrist and made him kiss me the way he had a few minutes before. Maybe I had a secret fetish or something because I really liked the way he had been so rough with me at the bar. And he liked having his hair pulled so it was a win-win situation.

Never in my life did I think my significant other and I would be so kinky.

I grabbed a fistful of his silky hair and tugged at it, earning a lovely moan from him. Faster than I thought, I was in that kind of mood and my pants were much too tight. What better place to have sex with your boyfriend than a dirty bar bathroom?

My hands went to his belt buckle and he removed my tongue from his mouth to stare at me. "Are you sure about this, Alec?" he whispered.

We were close enough that I could smell his breath and it smelled more like Trident layers than alcohol. I knew he'd only had one and a half beers so I nodded and kissed him again, admittedly with a bit too much force but he didn't seem to care. We both liked and rough and there is nothing wrong with that.

There was no one else in the bathroom and I quickly locked the door for us. It took a few tries because the knob was rusted but I eventually got it and went back to Magnus.

"Shit," he said. "What about Ragnor?"

"We'll be fast," was my answer. I yanked his tight hoodie off of him along with the equally tight tank top he was wearing beneath it, tossing the articles to the floor where they would probably get dirty. He did the same to my t-shirt and we kicked off our shoes and socks together.

I was the one to start on his jeans when I remembered something that we kind of needed- lube. There was no way I was going with this if we didn't having anything. No fucking way.

"Magnus," I muttered. "Do you have anything?"

"Back pocket."

My hands were already on his ass so I simply reached into his pocket and pulled out his leather wallet, ruffling inside of it until I found a small packet that I first thought was ketchup.

"You came prepared," I commented with a smirk.

"Don't I always?" he said.

I kept the packet grasped in my hand as I used to other to strip him of the rest of his clothes. That's easier said than done when his pants are practically painted on and you're only using one hand.

I carried him to a bathroom stall where he tugged off my jeans and boxers. The packet of lube had miraculously stayed in my fist the entire time and I ripped it open with my teeth, spitting out the little piece of plastic that landed on my tongue. It smelled fruitier than what we usually used but lube was lube.

We'd developed a rule over the last few weeks- If we were laying down Magnus would top, but if we were standing up it'd be the other way around because I had stronger legs. Personally, I preferred being the taker but I kind of liked our little rule. It was sort of almost cute in a bizarre mildly gross way.

The fruity smelling lube was soon coating me and I asked Magnus if he was ready once then slowly pushed into him. He bit his lip and moaned deep in his throat, one of his hands grasping the top of the stall and the other pulling me towards him for a sloppy kiss.

He rolled his hips against me and moved his right leg to rest on my shoulder while his other foot held him up by the toilet. Both of us were very thankful that he had a flexible body.

His rhythm was faster than normal, probably because lonely Ragnor was back at the bar by himself, waiting for his scotch and wondering where the hell we'd gone off too.

Our bar bathroom quickie was indeed a quickie, but I wasn't upset in any way, shape, or form even though it was only about seven minutes long (not that I was counting.) It was still as amazing as it always was when Magnus and I made love, minus that one time during his house party of course.

The only major issue was that when Magnus came, he got some on the back of my jeans that had been lying in the stall with us.

"Damnit," I muttered as he pulled on his completely clean jeans while I stood there in my boxers. It was colder in that bathroom afterwards than it had been when we first got there. "Thanks a lot Magnus," I said playfully.

"Next time I'll try to aim," he said back. He picked up his black hoodie and tossed it to me. "Tie that around your waist, it'll cover it up and then we can wash it when we get home."

"Okay." I finished getting dressed while Magnus fixed his hair and redid his eyeliner. Good thing he left his hair down that day.

I tied the jacket around my waist, making sure it covered the smallish white spot and looked at myself in the mirror. I realized that I looked really hot after just having sex… and I mean hot in both ways. But that jacket around my waist… ugh.

"This makes me look really…" I searched for the right word and finally said "gay."

"Sweetheart, you are gay."

"Still…"

"Come on," Magnus said, fixing my hair then taking my hand. "Ragnor is probably wondering where the hell we are."

As it turns out, Ragnor wasn't wondering where we were at all. He was too busy making out with the bartender.

**A/N- So that was more like a half lemon. It was lemon byproduct not full lemon. I told you I was sick and the thought of sex just made me go "BLEH!" but I love you guys for giving me 100 faves and 30,000 hits so I gave you a miniature present. You're welcome and thank you for the aforementioned faves/hits/reviews. Thank you, and goodnight. I'll probably update again next week and may or may not post something holiday-y over Thanksgiving break.  
>-Ella, who hopes this chapter is better than she thinks it is. <strong>


	35. Fuck Spiders

**A/N- Hey everyone. Ella is here with some new news. Yup, new news. Anyways, my new news is that I PLAN (key word: PLAN) on writing more Malec stories in the next… however many months. Now, I need your opinions, my lovely little readers you. I need to know if I should do a Malec story about a zombie apocalypse in which Alec and Magnus and Max (yes, Max) are some of the few surviving human beings, OR a story where Alec is a rockstar (like he's Gerard Way famous) and Magnus is his guitar player and blah, blah, blah. I have multiple ideas for both stories but I need to know which one I should do after Innocent calms the fuck down.**

**Oh. And if any of you randomly come out with a zombie apocalypse and/or Alec is a rockstar story, I will fucking kill you. I hope that is abundantly clear. My ideas will not be stolen, understand?**

**Disclaimer- Fuck me, I don't own anything. **

**P.S. – I was reading my other story, Changes, last night and I realized how shitty it was xD That is completely apropos of nothing but the thought just crossed my mind. **

Since Ragnor had mysteriously disappeared with the bartender, Magnus and I sat alone at our table, him with a beer and me with a ginger ale. We'd both safely assumed that Ragnor's dry spell was officially over when he texted us saying he and the bartender (whose name was apparently Dave) had gotten a cab ride home. By home, he meant Dave's apartment.

"The bastard just ditched us," Magnus muttered after reading what he had sent. "He didn't even pay for his five drinks!"

"Cut him some slack," I said softly. Magnus had been fuming about him leaving us for the last five minutes and not much I said really calmed him down but I kept trying in vain. "He probably had the most uncomfortable boner in the history of the world and needed to fix it."

"Who knew you were so perverted…?"

Perverts didn't blush at the perverted things that came out of their perverted little mouths, so I was not a pervert in any way at all ever.

"I am not being perverted," I said, still blushing. "I'm just saying that maybe he really needed to get it in or go to the hospital for a preexisting condition."

Magnus chuckled at that one and shook his head as he reached across the table to link our fingers together. "And you say you're not a pervert."

"Well it's not like I walk down the street and wolf whistle at little boys," I countered. That one had him cracking up in seconds.

Once he had calmed down after explaining the half frightening half hilarious image that entered his mind, the two of us had a few moments of comfortable silence, our hands firmly grasped in their usual places. It was nice just sitting there with him, not having to really say anything at all.

"You know Alec," he started after a few minutes. "I bet my parents would've loved you."

I smiled a little. "If mine weren't so homophobic, they would've loved you, too."

His eyebrow rose slightly. "Do you think you'll ever be able to talk to them again?" he asked quietly. It was hard to hear him in the loud atmosphere of the bar.

"Maybe."

There was no way in hell I was ever going to speak to my so-called parents ever again. Not after what they did to me, their own flesh and blood. They didn't deserve my cooperation or my affection or anything for that matter. If anything, they were completely dead to me, nothing but two random names that fled in and out of my life on a weekly basis. I only said maybe for Magnus' sake because he doesn't have parents and thinks that I need to work on the ones I was blessed with. It made sense but still…

"We should head out," I said before he could say another thing about my parents. Luckily, with both of our wallets combined we could pay for the expensive drinks and leave with still some amount of money.

With Magnus being just a little too fuzzy upstairs, I decided it would be much safer if I drove. I was freakishly tired but I was also the one without any alcohol on my breath so I was automatically determined to get home in one piece.

Magnus was even more tired than I was and almost nodded off on the way home, but we found a way to drag our asses inside, to see Chairman Meow asleep on the counter, purring like a kitten. My sleepy boyfriend seemed jealous of him.

I raided the refrigerator for something to drink that wasn't ginger ale or beer and ended up tossing Magnus the last water bottle when he kindly whined for it. In about four gulps it was completely gone and he aimlessly threw it on the counter where it made a hollow sound, not even waking Chairman Meow as it flung drops of water on him.

"What time is it?" he asked with a yawn, slinking into my open arms.

"Time for you to get a watch."

He groaned in response and looked over my shoulder at the oven's digital clock. "It's almost three in the morning…" he muttered. "I'm goin to bed." I stayed put as he tried to pull me to our bedroom by my wrist. "Meh."

"I'll be there in a second," I insisted. My hands rested on his lean hips for a moment. "I've gotta clean up your water bottle mess over here."

With a chuckle and another hearty yawn, he headed to the bedroom and I got a paper towel to quickly wipe up the leftover water on the counter. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something small and black dart across the tile floor. At first glance, I thought it was a rat or something but it didn't have a tail. My heart sped up as I realized what it was- one of the very few things I was deathly afraid of was crawling across my floor.

It was a spider.

In a complete fit of horror and girly-ness, I screamed bloody murder and jumped onto the most available thing in the kitchen, which just happened to be the counter. Being as fucking scared shitless as I was, I wasn't particularly paying attention to our favorite little feline that was snoozing on the granite and accidentally stepped on his tail. He hissed and squealed louder than I did and literally plummeted to the ground, thumping horrendously on the floor.

I'd lost sight of the demon in my haste to get to safety but it appeared again, out of literally fucking nowhere, right by the counter.

"Fuck!" I shouted as a knee-jerk reaction. My shock from seeing that asshole spider nearly made me fall off the opposite end of the counter but I steadied myself just in time.

As I was keeping a close eye on the arachnid that was scurrying about, I barely saw Magnus slink back into my vision, wearing his favorite silk pants and rubbing his eyes.

"What is with all the noise?" he asked sleepily. His eyes widened when he finally registered that I was standing in the middle of our kitchen counter, nearly to the point of curling up in the fetal position. "What the hell are you doing?"

"There's a spider on the floor," I said meekly.

"Well come down here before you fall and break your neck."

"But what if it jumps up and lands on me?"

He sighed and blinked once, very slowly. "Are you that afraid of spiders?"

"Yes," I said immediately.

"Run fast and you'll be fine," he insisted. "We'll kill it later, come on I'm tired."

"Magnus..." I whined.

"Alec…" He slowly walked over to me and held his arms up. "Come on."

"No."

"Alexander Gabriel Lightwood," he said firmly. "I will leave you standing here all by yourself and I know you don't want that. Now get your adorable little as over here."

With a noise of fear, I made my way across the counter and into his arms, letting him pick me up bridal style. He carried me to the safety of our bedroom and set me down on the mattress, standing in front of me with a certain look on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Spiders? Really?"

"They're scary…"

He just smiled and lay down on the bed as I changed into my pajamas, making my blush show up when he kept his stare going. Then I crawled into bed with him, feeling like a little kid. It was not my fault I was suffering from arachnophobia… I'd been scared of spiders since I was a little kid.

"You're so cute," he sighed as he snuggled into my arms, wrapping his own around my waist. Usually it was the other way around, but he was being extra cute that night… probably from the alcohol.

Magnus fell asleep immediately, whereas I was up until five, worrying about whether or not there were spiders in our room.

**A/N- Woot, that was a hard chapter to write, but it was so simple. I would write a big slew of excuses as to why this is short and not my best chapter, but it all comes down to school and me learning how to play guitar but running into issues and blahbity blah blah. Would all of you lovely readers do me a big huge favor and review? Pretty pretty please? I am dying to write a lemon, as weird as that sounds, but I couldn't write one in the chapter because they literally just did it like… last chappie which was only a few hours ago for them xD Just review  
>~Ella, who loves reviews. <strong>


	36. Make It Work

**A/N- In case you all didn't see, I wrote the zombie fic instead of the Alec is a rockstar fic. It currently as two chapters and I would love it if you guys would read it and review it.  
>Here's the next chappie. As you all know, I write as I go along, so I'm not sure if this will be fluffy or lemony…<br>Oh just so you know, this has a bit of crack in it.  
>Disclaimer- FUUUUCKKK YOOOUUUUUU SOOO HAARRRDDD III OOOWWWNN NNOOOTHHIINNNGG!<strong>

I held up the odd bondages to my eye level, wondering what they had been used for and why they were cheetah print. Or maybe it was leopard… Either way, it was weird to see in the dark corner of my boyfriend's closet, silently laughing at me. Fuzzy, animal print handcuffs, lying alone in a small box shoved underneath mounds of clothes. What they were doing there, I don't even know, nor do I want to know.

In a search for one of my sweatshirts, I pulled away the pounds of clothes on the floor, thinking maybe Magnus had meant to put it in with the laundry pile which was closer to the washing machine. Being the curious person that I am, when I stumbled upon the box I had to open it. I wouldn't call it snooping, not _exactly_, but I probably shouldn't have been rifling through Magnus' things. He had a rough past and I knew it could be something related to his parents or when he was younger. I just felt like I needed to know.

Imagine my surprise when I saw handcuffs just chilling in the bottom of box, looking weird. Luckily for me, there were no strange bodily fluids stuck in the fur and Magnus was still asleep, so I picked them up for no apparent reason and examined them. The metal on the inside was worn away, indicating they had been used more than once.

Ever since being stuck in Idris and having Sebastian violate me and generally ruin my life, I had a bit of a problem with handcuffs. They didn't make me cry or freak out but I definitely didn't like them. Handcuffs were weird, so S&M, sadistic, just weird. I didn't see the fun in being chained up to something then being hardcore fucked for an hour. That didn't appeal to me.

Did Magnus have a fetish that I didn't know about? It's not like I would stop loving him if he was into that kind of stuff but that's pretty odd, even for him. I know he liked to get his hair pulled and I was fine with that because I liked… never mind. Point is, handcuffs didn't work for me. Neither did chains, whips, or gags.

I wasn't really sure what to do with them once I discovered them. I couldn't just put the handcuffs away and not mention anything to Magnus because that would bother me all day long.

"Why do you have those?" was the frantic voice of Magnus from over my shoulder. The cuffs were whisked out of my hands as he grabbed them from me and I looked up at him. His eyes were wider than they were supposed to be.

"Why do _you_ have those?" I countered.

He blinked slowly. "They… were Camille's?"

"Magnus," I warned.

Groaning, he threw the animal cuffs back into their box and dragged me to our bed where we both sat down. "When I had just broken out of Idris, I had a few flings with a few guys. One of them had a thing for bondage, that's all."

"That's… interesting," I said unsurely.

"You think I'm a whore now, don't you?" he asked.

"No it's just…" I paused for a moment, getting my words and thoughts together. "Remember when you first told me you loved me?"

A smile appeared on his tan face. "How could I forget?"

I smiled back at him and continued. "Well you also said that you'd had a lot of relationships and I can't help but wonder how many you've had."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know," I muttered with a shrug.

"I've only had…" Magnus quickly counted on his long fingers, using both of his hands three times. "Thirty-two relationships in nineteen years."

"I'm sorry; it sounded like you said thirty-two."

"I did," he said. "Not including you."

I'm sure my mouth was hanging open and I was staring at him. Thirty-two partners is ridiculous for one person, I don't care who you are.

"That's crazy," I said. "I've had like, three, maybe."

"Well, I'm counting one night stands and flings as well as actual relationships," he explained. "See, I've had probably twenty something one night stands and less than ten real relationships. I only remember some of my flings, like Michael, and his sister Michelle, and uh Josh, and Benjamin, and Camille and I had a thing for like a day, then there were Jess and Ella, they were crazy bitches, and Ragnor, and-"

"Whoa," I interrupted him. "Pause, rewind, play. Did you just say _Ragnor?_ As in _our_ Ragnor?"

"Ooh, yeah I forgot to mention that didn't I?"

"Pssh."

"It was an accident, really, we were in Idris and I thought he was the guy I was with and he wasn't and we made out and other things happened…"

"Right," I said skeptically. "Wait… did you… did you two have sex?"

"Only once!" he exclaimed. "But then we decided to just be friends and I'm not into him like that."

"Ew! That means I have Ragnor on my lips and in my mouth and… _on my dick!"_

I continued to freak out about him and Ragnor until Magnus finally got me to calm down a bit and stop screaming. It was just weird, thinking about two best friends gettin it on and then being totally okay with it all afterwards. Once I'd taken a few minutes to breathe and calm the hell down, I realized Magnus looked a little upset, which I guess made sense. I'd kind of exploded.

"Why have you been with so many people?" I asked quietly.

"I don't really know," he murmured. "Guess I was looking for the right person. Without my parents around I didn't know what to do… needed some affection."

He must've read the expression on my face because his own changed drastically. He could read me like a book, my eyes being the things that gave me away every time. Magnus could tell when I was lying, when I was sad, angry, confused, lusty, anything at all he could figure out no matter how hard I tried to conceal my emotions.

"Alexander, I've only truly loved one person in my life and that is you. I told you once, and I'll tell you again, I've never said 'I love you' to anyone else, okay?" he said quietly. "You're my one and only."

I smiled enough to make Magnus breathe a sigh of relief and he reached around to give me a warm hug. It was a long embrace, one of the things I loved most about him. He was such a good hugger.

"Hey Magnus," I said quietly, still hugging him.

"Yeah?"

"…We're really fucked up."

He laughed into my shoulder and pulled back to look at me. "I know, but we make it work."

**A/N- This is not my favorite chapter but I've been off lately, in writing I mean. Hm, I'm just stressed out. Once the holidays start, I'm gonna be on a roll. Don't worry bout that. Please review for me? Eight more reviews and I get to five hundred. So excited.  
>-Ella, who would love some five hundred reviews. <strong>


	37. Arguments

**A/N- I'm not making Sebastian kidnap Alec. Isn't he scarred enough? Disowned by his parents, sent to straight therapy camp shit, sent to boot camp after his brother almost died, getting beaten up every day for a month, RAPED RAPED RAPED, nightmares about his rapist, his boyfriend getting beaten up by said rapist and friend, his dad slapped him in his face and called him a faggot, oh yeah and HE WAS RAPED. Ahem. I just think we should give him a break is all, I'm not **_**that**_** cruel… and, I'm not bringing Sebastian's (evil) character back. Well… I **_**am**_** but I'm **_**not**_** but it's really… he's just gonna… I can't exactly… Ah, let's just say that he'll be back but not really and probably not at all. I'm confusing myself.  
>ALSO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE FANTABULOUSTICATIOUS FIVE HUNDRED (and three) REVIEWS THAT I HAVE. I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT ON THE BUS WHEN I OPENED MY EMAIL ON MY PHONE AND SAW LIKE 928759238572 REVIEW ALERTS IN MY INBOX! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS STILL IN CAPS? GOD DAMNIT ALL TO FUCK!<strong>

**Disclaimer- I still don't own anything. Go away. *cries in a corner***

With Magnus' thirty-two relationships, and my amazing three, we both knew that every couple, no matter how in love or sexually involved or fucked up, will have their fair share of _arguments._ I'm sure every couple on the planet, whether it's the president and the first lady, or the average married couple, knows that arguments happen, sometimes too often or barely at all.

Like there are different couples, there are different arguments. You have your "How many times have I told you to take out the goddamn trash?" the small little scuffle that's an everyday thing. Arguments like that won't affect your relationship in the long-run, though one of you may end up sleeping on the couch, or on the floor, or in the garage. Petty arguments like these include "I don't want your mother to stay for the holidays" and "You're not pulling you weight in this household, blah, blah, blah go clean."

Then, of course, you've got the disagreements that are a bit bigger than just yelling about garbage. They're not too frequent, and if they are then you and your significant other need to communicate better. The subject of these disagreements is usually a repeating subject, one that you don't like to bring up but it's necessary to help your relationship move forward. If I could give you all an example, I would. But it's different for everyone.

And lastly you have the intense arguments, with screaming, crying, and possibly throwing things, where the two of you are bringing up things you promised never to speak of, all because of something one of you said. It's episodes like these that determine whether or not you stay together. I don't care who you are or what you've been through, you _will_ scream at the person you love the most as some point in your life. But, if you can get through that, you can survive all of the other tiny disagreements in your life.

Now Magnus and I, we've only had two of the three arguments. There's the whole thing with my nightmares that we eventually pushed through, and the fact that he nearly killed me, but those weren't _that bad_. We'd never started bellowing at each other and pointing out all of the flaws that we claimed we loved. Yes, I'd raised my voice at him a few times, and he'd done the same, but we'd never… hollered or screamed. I had only cried once or twice, though it wasn't because of our arguing. And Magnus… he didn't cry. He wasn't the type of person to show weakness through tears; he was better at holding back his tears than I was. In the year that I'd known him, Magnus had only cried once, when he found me on the bathroom floor in Idris, chained up and in more pain than I could comprehend.

Like every couple, I knew we'd get there eventually, but I was almost positive we'd make it out alive, hugging, kissing, and wiping away each other's tears like we always did. We _always_ made up after we fought, even if it was about Sebastian or therapy or something. As far as I knew, neither one of us had ever thought about breaking up.

That is, until the middle of fall, after a very uneventful Halloween due to what may or may not have been mono. It was the very beginning of November, right when it was starting to be cold and we were stuck in the rut we'd been in almost since we got out of Idris.

I guess my mind wasn't working completely that day, because I decided to say something annoying and whiny about my parents. Don't ask me why, but they had been coming up more and more in our conversations. I was confused about them, and if I wanted them in my life again.

"Alexander, maybe you should give them a chance," Magnus said quietly, surprising me. "You write them off as these terrible devils but I think they actually love you. It took them a while to do so, but they let you see Max and you even said that you and your mother spoke for a moment."

"You do realize what they did to me, right?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," he said calmly. "You've only told me about it twenty times."

"You were implying that they actually care about me…"

"Because they do." He sighed. "You've got to try and let them in, just once. That'll help your relationship and your life, and I'm sure that will make things with Max easier-"

"Don't bring Max into this."

Immediately I knew where this was going, and yet I didn't do anything to cease the oncoming fight. I pulled anger from anything I could think of and let it take me over, telling him over and over again that my parents were out of the picture altogether.

"Listen, Alec," Magnus said, getting more irritated by the second. "Believe it or not, I've had parents before, and I know how they can be! There was a point where they were almost like yours…" He went on to tell me that it took them a while to get used to the idea of him being gay but I wasn't listening.

In retrospect, what I said next was completely out of character for me. I didn't poke fun at Magnus like he did me, nor was I as blatantly obvious as he could be with some things. He was blunt, like Jace and Izzy, getting right to the point when he had one. I wasn't being myself at all and was sick of hearing him telling me what to do with my life. I finally exploded.

"No, Magnus, you don't know!" I screamed at him suddenly. "Your parents are _dead_!"

Instantly, I regretted what I said, wishing that I could rewind and hold my tongue for once. The apartment became eerily quiet compared to the sound of us yelling at each other just moments before. Even Chairman Meow, who had taken refuge underneath the couch, was no longer mewing helplessly. But it was Magnus' face that really got me. His expression was one of complete disbelief. Not even hurt… just… blankness. I saw goose bumps rise on his neck and felt my anger melt away, only to be flared up by his next words.

His voice was quiet as he spoke. "You have the nerve to tell me that I don't know jack shit about parents?" The usual silky and suave voice I was used to turned rough when he was to the point of yelling. "You're one to talk Alec!"

It simply went downhill from there. I don't know why we were screaming at each other so much, but if I had to take a guess it would be because we had so much bottled up anger over things that had nothing to do with either one of us. I was mad about my parents and Sebastian and being an eighteen year old kid in no real college, trying to make a living with my boyfriend and his cat. Magnus was mad about nearly everything else- he was trying to make do with the sparse amount of money we had and could barely handle the rent, apparently he was sick and tired of trying to make sure I didn't 'fall apart at the seams' and was fed up with the way I was acting about my parents.

The topics seemed to go on and on; after a while I wasn't even sure why we had started fighting in the first place. Then the pointing fingers and flaws started.

"The reason why we don't have any money is because you spend it all on fucking clothes that you only wear one time!"

"That's not even true! I paid for your stupid online college shit!"

"Really? Because it's _free!_"

It just went on.

"You cannot possibly be mad at me for being fragile after all of the hell I've been through."

"_It's. Been. Months._ I know that's scarring, but think about what I've been through! We've both had rough pasts and now it's time to get over it!"

"That's bullshit Magnus, and you know it. You haven't been through half the things I have."

And on.

"I am not a rock, Alexander! I cannot keep you together and stay sane at the same time."

"Well why'd you wait till now to tell me that? You act like you don't have a care in the world so I figured you didn't."

"Then you don't know anything about me."

And, unfortunately, on.

"I cannot handle you anymore, Alexander! There's only so much one person can do."

"Would you quit calling me Alexander? And I didn't ask you to take care of me, I'm capable of doing so myself."

"Could've fooled me."

It took me much too long to realize how much we were screaming and how many things were so wrong. I felt alienated from my own boyfriend and I'll bet money he did too. We'd only known each other for just over a year… but I still felt like I should know these things about him. The more I thought about it the more I noticed that we had more of a physical relationship than anything. He didn't really love me.

Magnus sighed loudly, rubbing his face with his hands. "Alec, I can't do this anymore."

"What?" His shoes were on.

"I… I don't know." He sounded defeated and his voice was hoarse from yelling. "We're stuck in a rut like we have been since we got out of Idris. The only things happening are screwing and fighting."

"Where are you going?"

"Ragnor's… but only for a day or two." He paused. "I think all we need is a little time to cool off."

"That's not… you don't have to leave," I said lamely.

"It'll be good for both of us," he insisted. "Just hear me out, okay? I don't want to fight with you again. Not like this."

"And you think leaving will help?"

"I know it will," he said.

I wish I had believed him then. "Really?" The necklace he gave me suddenly seemed frigid and I reached up to touch the pendant around my neck. With one quick tug, I yanked it off my skin and probably broke the clasp. "Here," I said, dropping the broken chain in his hand.

He blinked at it and closed his hand around the charm, nothing but slight confusion in his eyes. No more love or comfort, no more disbelief or hurt. Nothing.

I decided 'forever and always' ended when the door clicked shut.

**A/N- They needed a fight. They really did. There's so much going on in this story and they needed something different, you know? Stuck in a rut as I said. This isn't a very good gift for the five hundred reviews I got but uh, I guess things will get better. This fight was bound to happen. Yeah I hate myself, too.  
>Review?<br>~Ella, who doesn't really know what's going on right now. **


	38. Tired and Lonely

**A/N- Oh good, none of you hate me. Glad you understand what's going on. This will probably last for about ten chapters. KIDDING. I actually have no idea.  
>Disclaimer- *GROAN* FUCK YOU DISCLAIMER. WE ALL KNOW I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. <strong>

The magnitude of our fight didn't really get to me until I tried to go to sleep that night, silently waiting for the quiet 'goodnight, love' that was always sighed or whispered in my ear, right before I fell asleep. Everything was quiet, not even the sounds of the busy New York streets filing the empty void. My body felt numb and I kept looking around, waiting for something to happen, waiting for Magnus to come bursting through the bedroom door, saying he was sorry. But of course that didn't happen.

Half the things we talked- er… yelled about I hardly even remembered at all. We had both been so furious with each other that we were literally spitting out words that didn't process in our minds first. The little filters from our brains to our mouths had been split down the middle, letting uselessly angry things come out. The only thing I vividly remembered about the whole thing was Magnus' face. I didn't see it then, but once I thought about it I knew his heart was breaking into smaller and smaller pieces every time I said something. His eyes would dart away from me whenever I said something hurtful, like he was being physically hit. He might as well have been.

I'd had days that I had to spend alone, while Magnus was off getting groceries or had to help someone to earn some extra cash. Yeah, I'd been lonely, but I always knew he would come back. This time I wasn't so sure. It was a different kind of loneliness, one of more grief. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I bet Magnus was getting drunk with Ragnor and having fun without me, while I had no one.

Even Chairman Meow missed Magnus. As I was trying to fall asleep, he came slinking in after midnight, and curled up on Magnus' pillow, looking at me like _this is your fault._

"I know," I whispered to him, disturbing the silence around us. I reached out to pet him but he snapped at me, settling back into his pillow afterward.

Feeling utterly defeated, I lay on my back and sighed to the ceiling. I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, that much I knew, so I tried to remember the things I said to Magnus, coming up with ways I could apologize for them. Involuntarily, I started letting other memories come through, happier ones that made Magnus not being there even worse.

I remembered when I first met him and the way I had idiotically introduced myself. He helped me through my first day in Idris and got me gummy bears… and how could I forget seeing him shower every day? Even though I was an idiot and a klutz, he eventually treated me like an equal, helping me out when I was getting beaten up.

I remembered when he kissed me for the first time and the way my stomach tumbled around inside, making my head swim. His lips had been so soft and tender, very gentle, warm. I had been thinking about how it was crazy that he tasted so good with all of those cigarettes he smoked. My skin tingled wherever he touched me and that smile he had when he pulled away was perfect.

I remembered when I broke my ribs and he carried me to the nurse's office. He found the letter to my sister and we were officially a couple. He stayed with me when he could and when I got out early he was happier than I'd ever seen him.

I remembered when he told me he loved me and how he was so nervous. He was blushing, something he rarely did, but I said it back and he just lit up.

I remembered when he helped me get through everything with Sebastian and how he was so careful with me. He was almost scared to touch me, fearing he would cause me more pain. I wasn't let out of his sight for weeks.

I remembered when we first made love and how gentle he had been with me… how close we were afterwards… how we didn't let go of each other the rest of the night…

I remembered all of those moments when we were just _with_ each other, not speaking, but lying in each other's arms, no need to say anything at all. Completely content and at ease.

I really fucked it up this time.

My teary eyes swept over to the clock and I saw that it was quarter till two. I had been reminiscing and making myself cry for an hour. All I wanted was to sleep. All I wanted was the sun to come up. All I wanted was Magnus.

Somewhere between three and five in the morning I got what I guess you could call sleep. I wasn't exactly asleep, per say, but my eyes were closed and my mind shut down so I guess that's better than nothing. The sun was barely up when I dragged myself out of bed and grabbed my beaten up cell phone out of habit.

Not many people called/texted me, I only had so many friends, but that morning I had two missed calls. My heart stopped when I flipped it open, though it sank when I saw the calls were from last night at nine thirty, hours before Magnus left. They were from Izzy, including a voicemail about if Magnus and I could double date with her and Simon on Saturday. Oh the irony.

I was about to call her back but it was a Friday at five in the morning, she was either awake and getting ready for school, or sleeping in and would undoubtedly be late for school. That excluded Jace as well and I wouldn't call Ragnor because Magnus was there.

So, in a miserable nutshell, I was completely alone, with nothing to do and no one to talk to, my own cat even ignoring me.

What else was I supposed to do at five in the morning? Sleeping was out of the question. I was exhausted to the point of painful insomnia. You'd think that doesn't make any sense, but it makes perfect sense to me.

I tried to make myself some coffee to keep me away and/or mildly sane for the time being, so of course we were out of coffee beans _and_ filters.

_Great,_ I thought. _Sad, tired, alone, and now un-caffeinated. _

I needed something to keep my mind occupied, something mechanical and mundane that I would do automatically. I needed coffee.

Thinking that maybe some stores would be open, I decided to take a walk, get some fresh (cold) air and pick up some coffee. I laced up my shoes and grabbed my sweatshirt, quickly shedding it when I figured out it smelled like Magnus. There was no way I could've made it all the way across town to the supermarket when all I could smell was my maybe sort of ex-boyfriend.

I quickly opened the door to the apartment and made my way down the stairs, my tired legs shaking. Whether that was from exhaustion or sadness, I do not know.

Halfway down the stairs, I stumbled, barely, and steadied myself by bracing my hand on the metal railing. I thought that I had fallen because of being tired and shaky, but when I turned around I found that I actually tripped over something. At first, it just looked like a string or something, and how lame would it have been if I tripped over a string? But at closer inspection, I realized it was my necklace, looking mangled and dim, though mostly still intact. The two matching pendants glistened at me, reminding me of none other than Magnus… In a split second decision, I bent down to scoop it up and kept it in my pocket, continuing down the stairs more heartbroken than before.

**A/N- I'm probably not gonna stretch this out too long, don't get too used to the angst/sadness/ blahness. Eventually I'll just kill the both of them and get it over with. Still kidding, god I needa stop doin that. REEEEVVVVIIIIEEEEWWWW NNNOOOOWWWWW OR NO MALEC FOR YOU! (you had to say that in the soup Nazi voice or else it's just weird…)  
>~Ella, who wrote 'gay pride' on her hand in purple along with a purple flower while she was thinking about Malec in geometry class. RAAANNNDDDOOOMMMM!<br>P.S. – I gave you two goddamn chapters in two goddamn days without doing my two goddamn pages out of my goddamn math textbook. Goddamnit, you better review. **


	39. Barely Surviving

**A/N- Eleven reviews in less than twenty four hours. If I loved you any more, I would explode. And don't any of you worry, Alec and Magnus will reunite soon. His parents may or may not show up sometime but I really don't know. I'm one of those authors who plans nothing out ever because it ends up shitty I'm rambling. **

**Disclaimer- I own nothing -_-**

It stared at me as it rested on the table, patronizing me, chastising me, mocking me, as I just sat there and stared back at it, trying to build up the courage to actually reach for the beat up piece of shit. My cellphone- probably the only hope I had of speaking to Magnus for the time being. And I couldn't pick it up for the life of me. I wasn't going to be the one to succumb when this was his fault.

Okay, so _I_ was the one who really started the entire argument by running my mouth, and saying that thing about his parents, and I was the first one to yell, and I broke the necklace he gave me… but he's the one who left. He could've stayed and tried to talk like civilized human beings instead of leaving… but I didn't stop him. No matter whose fault it was, I wouldn't be the one to call first.

I'd been sitting on the fluffy couch for nearly an hour, with lukewarm coffee and fresh tear tracks on my cheeks. My venture into town was uneventful, as I expected it to be. My legs had barely stopped shaking and I almost broke down halfway there, but got myself together long enough to make it back home. The coffee was unappealing to me when I took a sip so I just held it, letting the warmth sooth my stiff fingers and breathing in its smell.

Chairman Meow was still ignoring me and there was nothing on TV. I tried to call Izzy and Jace that evening to see if they wanted to hang out but they were both busy. When Izzy said she was sorry she had to cancel our double date because of one of her friend's parties I felt my chest contract.

"It's fine, really." I said softly. "Magnus and I are uh… not on the best terms right now."

"You two fighting?"

I cleared my throat a little. "Yeah…"

"Do I need to call Jace and beat some ass?" she asked, completely serious.

"No, I'll be okay," I insisted.

"Well, do you want me to come over? I can bring chocolate."

I wanted so badly to say yes and let her come over and talk to my baby sister about my boy problems. She was going to bring _chocolate_ and some sort of chick flick, which I wasn't completely opposed to. But she was getting ready for her party when she called me and I couldn't keep her from having fun.

"You go to your party and have fun for me, I'll get over it." I paused. "And if I don't, you have my permission to grab Jace and beat some ass."

Izzy giggled a little and I barely smiled. "I'll hold that to ya," she said. "I hope things work out with you and Magnus."

"Thanks, Iz."

"Love you, bro." And she hung up.

I went to bed alone that night.

* * *

><p>Magnus said he would only be gone for a day or two, so after the third I finally decided to call him, using Ragnor's house number. I could hardly say I survived three days without Magnus around and I would do anything to hear his voice again. It took me fifteen to twenty minutes to actually click the call button but I got there. I was nervous and didn't know what I was going to say, though I had a small sort of plotted out apology in my head. Three days without hearing his voice, silky and smooth like-<p>

"What the hell do you want?"

That wasn't the voice I remembered.

"Ragnor," I sighed. "Where's Magnus?"

"Out." He was mad at me. "What does it matter to you?"

"I really need to talk to him."

"Wow, no shit Alec, you think you might need to talk to him after _three fucking days?_" His bellowing voice was hurting my ear and I pulled the phone back just a second, regretting not calling Magnus' cellphone first. "Do you realize that he's been a complete mess? He hasn't worn colors in _days. DAYS._ Alec I thought you were different than every other random person he's dated and goddamnit you better be because I've never seen him like this. He came to my doorstep crying his eyes out and-"

"Would you just tell me where he is?" I finally screamed.

"If you really love him you'll find him yourself."

"Thanks a-" I stopped talking when I noticed he had hung up.

Even after our fight, I hadn't removed Magnus as my speed dial number one and pressed the digit, immediately dialing his number. I held my breath but it went straight to voicemail so he either rejected my call or had his phone off. However, I did get to hear the voice I'd been waiting for.

"Hey, it's Magnus," his recorded voice said, cheerful and happy. "I'm probably off doing something that doesn't involve you so leave a message after the tone and blah, blah, blah."

*beep*

The almost apology I had sort of set up in my head melted away into nothingness and I had no idea what to say. I couldn't hang up because the message was already recording and it would probably piss Magnus off for him to see he had a message and have it be nothing.

"Um, hi Magnus, it's Alec, though you probably knew that because you have caller ID, but I… really miss you and Ragnor won't tell me where you are. Maybe we can meet up somewhere and talk about things. It's not the same without you… I hope you come back soon. Please call me."

So much for my apology plan. I wasn't good at speaking without preparing first. Hopefully Magnus would call me back because ignoring me forever wasn't going to solve anything.

I sat down on the couch again, propping my feet up on the dusty coffee table. The sweatpants I'd been wearing for the last three days slipped down and revealed the tattoo I had of Magnus' initials. It was a painful reminder of all the shit I said to him the few days before and I couldn't stop the tears that pricked my eyes. Magnus had my signature on his chest, near his heart, permanently… but he had once said tattoos can be removed...

In the hopes that I'd get a call from Magnus, the only thing I did for the entire day was sit by my phone and wait. It was a shame I hadn't taken up Izzy's offer and let her come over with free chocolate. I needed some company; I couldn't wallow in self-pity until Magnus came back but it seemed like the only thing I could do right. Of all the things I excelled at, being moody was my number one.

It was really over. Magnus had been gone almost five days without speaking to me once. It couldn't be over, not like that. I thought he'd at least try to call me one time. I was let down, alone, confused. We needed to talk, that was obvious but he didn't seem to want to talk to me.

By ten o'clock at night I was ready to give up, go to sleep and accept the truth that I'd pretty much ruined the greatest man I'd ever met. I had said something completely awful to the love of my life and ended our relationship unwillingly, breaking both of our hearts in the process.

_It shouldn't have ended like this,_ I thought. It should have ended mutually, with both of us agreeing that it wasn't going to work out but ending on good terms… not screaming and crying and not speaking to each other.

While staring at my tattoo for the third time, I finally realized what I had to do. I had already tried calling him and that didn't work, so the last thing I could do was exactly what Ragnor told me to do- Go find him myself.

* * *

><p>When I rang the doorbell to Ragnor's apartment, I knew what I was going to say to Magnus, if he answered of course. For once, I had it all planned out in my head, ready to open my mouth and say the words I'd been thinking of for an hour. It wasn't hard to get to his apartment, only everyone knew who Ragnor was, so when I asked the cab driver to take me there he immediately knew where to go. I was still tired, sad, dirty and wearing four-day-old sweatpants, but I was ready to feel the pain I knew was coming. I was expecting disappointment, I was expecting Magnus and I to be over. I was not expecting him to answer the door.<p>

Ragnor wasn't kidding when he said Magnus was a wreck- his hair was lifeless, falling around his face limply. The once sparkling eyes I knew he had were dim, puffy and red from crying. He was displaying his emotions more than I'd ever seen… because of me. I'd done this to Magnus Bane, the always happy badass that kept everyone else together. He was worse off than I had been.

There was a strained silence between us and I tugged my sweater closer to me, trying to beat the cold air. He didn't do anything, didn't even look at me, only stared down at the threshold and bit his lips piercing.

I was the first one to speak. "Can we talk?" He still didn't look up. "Please?"

Seconds passed and I was still waiting for him to react, to scream at me or at least open the door so I could get inside. My stomach was in knots, from a terrible mixture of nervousness for what was to come, and excitement from seeing him again, and the feeling I always got when I saw him. It hadn't gone away since I met him.

Much to my relief, he finally let me in, closing the door behind me and muttering something to Ragnor who was sitting on his couch. With a glare, Ragnor left us alone and we sat down, Magnus replacing Ragnor, with me sitting on a loveseat made out of leather. The silence fell over us again and I rubbed my hands together, trying to get the blood circulating.

"Magnus," I said quietly, his name foreign on my tongue. "I just need to know, I need to hear this from you… Are we… over? Broken up? Because I haven't seen you in days and you weren't answering any of my calls and Ragnor wouldn't tell me where you were and-"

"Alec," Magnus interrupted, holding up a hand. His voice sounded horribly underused.

"But I-"

"_Alexander._" I shut my mouth, fearing the worst. "We are not broken up. At least not yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're sorry about everything you said, and I'm sorry, too, deeply so," he said sadly. "But I don't think you can ever take back what you said about my parents. That was crossing a line with me." His eyes were getting misty. "I really want to try and make this work with you but…"

"But what?" I questioned when he didn't finish.

"I don't know, Alec. Things aren't like they used to be. The excitement of falling in love has worn off, though I can honestly say that I still love you."

"Magnus, please," I said so softly I bet he could barely hear me. "I promise I'll try harder with my parents and with everything else… It hasn't even been five days and I'm a total wreck without you. I haven't slept or eaten or anything and I miss you so much. You said the other day that you couldn't handle trying to keep me from falling apart at the seams, but look what happened when you weren't with me. You don't have to worry about keeping me together as long as you're _there. _As long as you don't leave me again I'll never fall apart."

"I know," he whispered.

"Then why are you still here?"

"Because I'm afraid that if I go home with you… I'll just walk out again," he finally said. There was a single tear that cascaded down his right cheek, startling me. "I've had too many relationships that ended like this and I don't want to break up with you. I know neither one of us would be happy with that but I've had my heart broken by so many people that I can hardly trust anyone anymore. I thought that you would be different, that you would never do what they did, yet you ended up being exactly like them."

That stung. I'd always prided myself in being the one person that hadn't scarred Magnus and like he said, I pretty much became the opposite.

"Magnus, I'm so, so, sorry… about everything. I'll never do anything like that to you ever again, I swear. You deserve someone who can make you happy."

His eyes, wet with tears, glided up to mine. "_You _make me happy."

"So, will you take me back?"

He nodded. "But promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that you won't be just another one of them."

"I promise," I said, reaching into my pocket. I pulled out the necklace that I'd been keeping there for days and held it up. "Forever and always."

I stood up and he walked over to me, clasping the pendant around my neck once more. It felt good to have it back on my skin, the charms lying right over my heart.

Once Magnus had the necklace firmly on, his arms slid around my neck and pulled me forward, bringing me into a warm embrace. Crying harder than before, he rested his head on my shoulder, dampening it with his tears. I tightened my arms around his waist and squeezed my eyes shut, holding back the many tears that shook behind them.

I had Magnus back. We'd had the third and final type of argument, and somehow, throughout all of the hell in-between, we made it out alive. Because of that, I knew we would have a stronger relationship that would last if not forever than at least a long time. We were committed to each other for sure and, with his tears soaking into my shoulder, I knew Magnus was my one and only.

**A/N- Things I'm not good at writing- break ups and make ups. I just don't like it, maybe it's a bit too cliché? I'm really not sure, you know, maybe you should review to let me know how I did because I can honestly say that I've never written a break up/make up before…Not one that people actually read anyways. RREEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIIEEEEEWWW!  
>~Ella, who is so fucking tired right now. <strong>


	40. I Get It

**A/N- Aw, I loved your reviews. Some of you said you were crying! *success!* I tried to make it emotional, glad I got there. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENKAGAMINE133! Here's your present from me! *throws confetti in the air***

**Disclaimer- I own nothing. Boo. **

I'd never seen Magnus cry like that before. He was still holding onto me for dear life, his arms tight around my neck, and we hadn't let go of each other for I don't even know how long. There was no way I was letting him go anytime soon, not with him crying like that. Magnus wasn't making any noise, except for the occasional sniffle, but I could feel his body shake with sobs. It was frightening, seeing him like that… especially because I caused it.

It was hard to try and keep myself together while he fell apart, and I really understood him right then. He had to be a rock for me for _months_ and I could barely deal with just a few minutes. Now he was letting go, reversing the roles completely. I tried my hardest to keep it together, letting only a few tears fall.

It may have been three minutes or it may have been three hours, but Magnus finally let me go and halfheartedly wiped at my shoulder, trying to get his tears out of it. I looked at him then, really looked at him, and smiled a little. His cheeks were soaked, his eyes were red, and he wasn't wearing any make up… and he was beautiful. And he was mine.

"Sorry about your sweater," he said quietly, sweeping at my shoulder.

"It's fine. I've got plenty." He flashed me a small smile and I gently wiped away his many tears. "Sorry I caused all of this."

"I said awful things to you, too," he said. "This is not your fault."

"But I've never seen you like this…"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I know."

My hands caressed his cheeks and I thought, since his eyes were closed already, why not kiss him? It would be a perfect moment, kissing after making up and crying, creating the perfect mildly cliché movie moment. So why couldn't I do it? I just couldn't bring myself to lean forward the few inches and touch my lips to his. I couldn't do that, not while the both of us were still so heartbroken.

"Do you think you're ready to come home?" I asked him quietly.

Magnus' eyelids fluttered open and he stared at me for a second. "I think so," he finally muttered. "Let me just go tell Ragnor."

Sighing in relief, I sat back down on the loveseat and waited quietly as Magnus told Ragnor all that was going on. They embraced quickly and I saw Magnus slip him a pack of cigarettes, muttering that he didn't need them anymore. The entire time, all Ragnor did was stare at me. He was obviously pissed at me for being there in the first place and I couldn't exactly blame him.

Magnus was just getting his shoes on when he turned to me. "You coming?" His voice sounded scared for a second, like he was afraid I was going to leave him or something. The look Ragnor was giving me said I wasn't going home just yet, so I told Magnus I'd be there in a second while he hailed a cab.

"Listen kid," Ragnor said as soon as Magnus was out the door, using the nickname he had given me when we were in Idris. He was standing very close to me, looking oddly intimidating. "Magnus has been my best friend for over three years and if you _ever _hurt him like that again, I'm coming after you, and I guarantee you'll never do it again. He doesn't deserve this shit, okay? Too many people have fucked him over and you better not be another one of those people."

"I'm not."

"Good," he said happily. "Now get out of my house."

* * *

><p>The cab ride we had was short and awkward to say the least. I think Magnus was embarrassed about how much he cried and how he broke down… he shouldn't have been, really, I'd had my fair share of meltdowns, more than I could count. He needed a time when he could let go, if only for a moment. Otherwise all of his emotions would've kept building up and we would've fought again.<p>

We only exchanged words once, barely, the entire ride and that was when I asked him how much he smoked when he was at Ragnor's. It was a stupid question to ask, I'm aware, but I really wanted to know. I didn't want him getting lung cancer and dying or something. All he did was shrug and mumble that he didn't remember. That meant he didn't want to talk about it so I left it at that.

It wasn't too long later that we arrived back at the apartment. Magnus had almost fallen asleep on the way there, yet he was awake enough to get out of the cab and walk inside. I quickly handed the driver a twenty and hopped out as well, meeting Magnus in our living room.

There was a lot of unwanted and unnecessary tension between us and I could tell we were both very thankful when Chairman Meow came bolting across the floor. Magnus immediately picked him up and smothered him with hugs and kisses, smiling happily. I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do with myself, still wanting to kiss him but not knowing if I should, until I kicked my shoes off and sat on the couch, watching him… trying to understand him.

Eventually, he set his cat free of his iron grip and sat next to me. I wasn't sure what to say to him, whether I should apologize or accept an apology, so I sat there, saying nothing, when Magnus suddenly spoke about a topic I thought we'd left behind.

"I smoked a lot over at Ragnor's," he muttered. "You know it's the only thing that calms me down."

"I know."

"Smoked a whole pack by myself…" Biting his lip, he ran his fingers through his long hair and sighed. "I really shouldn't have."

"It's okay," I whispered.

"You threw out all the others I kept here, right?"

"Mhm."

"Good." He sighed again.

For once in a year and half, I didn't know how to comfort him. When he'd been sobbing into my shoulder, I knew to hold him tight and not let him go until he pulled away, but right then I had no idea what to do. The tension was getting thicker with each moment we sat there, yet I still didn't do anything. After much deliberation, I finally leaned forward and rested my hand on his knee, trying my best to be comforting. He gave me a really sad smile back.

"Can we go to sleep?" he asked quietly. "It's been a long day. For both of us."

I nodded and removed my hand then followed him to our bedroom. Since we were both wearing sweatpants, we crawled into bed together with our clothes on, farther apart than usual. After two minutes of this I just couldn't handle it anymore and reached across the mattress to grip his hand.

"If I fall asleep," I started. "Will you still be here when I wake up?"

He only hesitated for a fraction of a second before saying, "Of course."

**A/N- Len I hope liked your (short) birthday present. It may be a little early depending on what time zone you're in but I posted this a bit after midnight so yeah. Since I gave you a nice bday gift, be sure to review, and THAT GOES FOR EVERYONE. Sorry about the lack of uhm, idk, Malec? They can't have a big fight, somewhat makeup and then everything's all rainbows and unicorns again. Sorrrrry, but I promise they get fluffier and Malec-y-er soon, don't you worry. Also, this story's almost done :'( Five to ten more chapters and that's it. Just giving you all a fair warning.**

**~Ella, who is really tired and tired and did I mention tired?**


	41. All Over Again

**A/N- Your reviews were fantastic, as usual. Getting close to forty thousand hits…  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing still.<strong>

Just like he said, Magnus was still there when I woke up that morning, deep asleep and breathing steadily. The eyeliner he'd been probably been wearing for days was still perfect around his eyes that just barely fluttered as he slept. It was reassuring, seeing him lying in our bed. I'm still not sure why, but I was afraid he'd actually be gone and had lost sleep over it…

Our hands had stayed linked throughout the night and I didn't remove mine from his when I awoke. I felt like that would wake him up so I just rolled over on my side and watched him sleep for some time. Oddly, he still looked sad, even in his sleep. I hoped he'd get through his sadness and come back to me soon.

I very slowly took my hand from his and ran it through his hair, moving my body behind him to be more comfortable. Unconsciously, my other hand roamed freely, gliding softly across his cheek. I was trying to memorize his face, just to make sure I wouldn't forget it anytime soon. His skin was so mesmerizingly soft that I had to run the back of my hand against it again.

Magnus gave a small sigh and I ceased the scalp massage I was giving him, thinking it may've been a little weird waking up to your boyfriend doing that after a bad fight. "No," he breathed quietly. "Keep going." I continued threading my fingers through his hair and gently scraping my fingernails against his scalp. Goose bumps rose along his neck and he slowly reached up to lace his fingers with my other hand, the one that had been resting on his cheek.

It was a very intimate moment to me, one that I was glad we could share together. For nearly five days I wasn't sure if I would ever hold Magnus like that again and it really scared me. But that morning, with the blinds only letting small beams of sunlight glide across his skin, I knew I had no reason to worry anymore. If he was still there when I woke up, he was there for the long-run.

My leg started cramping after ten minutes but I didn't start moving, thinking that it would ruin the moment. Every few minutes, I'd look down at Magnus and see that his eyes were still closed. The corners of his mouth were pulled up barely enough to look like a smile, though it was more of a smile than it had been when he was asleep. He gave a sigh of relaxation, softly and only once, causing me to smile as well.

We stayed like that for fifteen more minutes until he broke the comfortable silence. "What time is it?" he whispered.

I skimmed my eyes over the digital clock, straining to read the numbers in the glaring light. "Almost eleven," I whispered back.

Magnus groaned slightly, sitting up and removing his hand from mine. "I have to feed Chairman." He was still whispering.

I didn't say anything back, only reached up to pat down a stray piece of his hair. The piece had gone down, but I kept my hand on him, sliding it across his cheek, down his jawline and finally letting it stay near his chin, ghosting my thumb over his parted lips. Suddenly I was on my knees in front of him, having sprung up from my sitting position on the bed with both my hands on his face, my thumbs and fingers touching his ears. He flinched almost indecipherably as I leaned forward, though I didn't get to see his expression when, after five awful days, I finally kissed him.

It felt so great to kiss him again. His lips were as soft as his skin, maybe even softer, and it felt like our first kiss all over again. I was nervous and my heart was beating much too fast, the only difference being that I was the one taking control for once; I was leading his lips with mine, trying my best to ignore the cigarette taste that was starting to creep into my mouth.

Magnus finally responded to me and fisted the fabric of my shirt in his right hand, using the other one to push me forward from the small of my back. He kept leaning backwards until his back hit the mattress and he pulled me on top of him, his arms going around my waist.

Our legs tangled together and though we were horizontal, it wasn't hot or sexy… it was all still very sweet and that's what I liked about it. Most of the time when we started kissing like that it ended with us having sex but I didn't want that right then, and neither did Magnus. If he did, he would've been acting much differently, trust me.

Unfortunately, the entire pack of cigarettes he smoked was coming back and I had to pull away from him. He smiled wider at me and bit his lip.

"Go feed your cat," I muttered. He gently got out from underneath me and walked to the kitchen where he kept the cat food.

I sighed as I fell back on the bed, more than likely smiling like a teenage girl who just got her first kiss. I was giddy, happy that we were finally getting back to normal, after damn near a week of pain and fighting. I had to fight the intense need to giggle.

While Magnus gave Chairman Meow his much needed food, I showered quickly and had to physically force myself to stop smiling because my cheeks were starting to hurt. I was excited and buzzing, almost forgetting to brush my teeth before leaving the bathroom.

Magnus was adding another spoonful of peanut butter to Chairman's food as I walked into the kitchen, freshly bathed, brushed, and wearing a different pair of sweats. He smiled when he saw me, though he was acting a bit shy. That wasn't like him, being shy, but I guess he was kind of feeling exactly like I was- as giddy as a teenage girl.

We didn't say anything to each other at first and I was very much okay with that. It wasn't quite as awkward as I thought it would be, probably because we'd gotten that chemistry back, the chemistry we'd been striving for.

"I don't understand how one cat could eat so much peanut butter," I muttered, gesturing to Chairman Meow who was munching happily.

"It _is_ a bit ridiculous," he agreed with a smile.

I walked into his open arm and let it rest around my shoulders, pulling me close. Then he became quiet, like he was really thinking about something as he stared aimlessly into Chairman Meow's food bowl.

"Alexander?" Magnus finally said.

"Hm?"

He paused, making me wonder what it was that he was about to say. "I love you." The words came out of his mouth quickly, making me take a moment to really let them sink in.

Like our kiss just minutes before, it was as if we were going through the milestones of our relationship all over again and the words had a bigger effect on me than they had a year ago. I was getting chills down my spine yet my face got warm.

"I love you, too."

**A/N- Make up sex soon. Be prepared for !  
>Why am I so immature? Geez, just review xD<br>~Ella, who loves SSSEEEEXXXX! (but only between Mag n Al because she can't write hetero-lemons and she's only 13 so she's a virgin and STILL talking in third person. Why is she doing that? No body knows…)**


	42. That Feeling

**A/N- Thank you for the fan-fucking-tastic reviews I got. I'm very happy right now. I'm on Christmas break until January third so expect lots of chapters. No makeup sex yet, but it is cumming for sure.  
>Disclaimer- I own-eth nothing-eth. <strong>

The thrill of having Magnus back in my life was more exciting than when I first fell in love with him. He was being unimaginably cute and we lounged around with each other for the rest of the day, both of us in a blissful state of mind. It was great just being with him, especially after days of thinking I'd never be with him again.

After we'd gotten over the excitement from our second first kiss and our second first 'I love you,' we went to the couch and I resumed Magnus' scalp massage. From what he told me, he really hadn't slept very well the night before due to how much he was craving cigarettes. He didn't look at me when he said this and I knew he was mad at himself but he also mentioned that when I played with his hair, it took his mind off of it.

My knees were on either side of him when we were sitting on the couch and he was leaning against my chest. "I'm beginning to think you only love me for my massages," I said playfully.

Magnus giggled the giggle I loved so much and smiled up at me. "That is not true," he muttered. "There are a ton of things I love about you."

"Uh huh," I said, unconvinced.

"Like how your dimples only show up when you're laughing and how your smile is just a tiny bit lopsided, and your hair- oh god, I love your hair. And of course the way you blush just kills me. And then there's the fact that you put up with me which is really hard, I know."

"Alright, I believe you," I interrupted with laugh. "But you've got to admit you're a whore when it comes to massages."

"Because they feel so good," he practically purred. "I'll pay you back later."

I blushed, though he didn't say it in a provocative way. I was nervous about what was going to happen between us but pushed it to the back of my mind and reached for his hand. He grasped it happily and smiled, looking completely adorable. I threaded the fingers of my free hand through his hair and left them there as I leaned forward to kiss his forehead.

Magnus fell asleep on me so I decided to let him rest for a few hours. He looked much more peaceful in his sleep and I knew for a fact that he got cranky when he was tired. Both my hands were still on him, one in his hair and one holding his hand but with him in between my knees I realized how small he felt. I was worried that he hadn't been eating as much as he should've been and very carefully lifted up his t-shirt. He still had his delicious abs but he was definitely skinnier, and I guess I didn't really notice until I _looked_ because there had been so many things going on with us. I was skinnier too, I knew that. Neither one of us had been eating because we were so heartbroken…

As thoughts of eating came into my mind, my stomach growled almost painfully and I had to get up before it awoke my sleeping boyfriend. Skillfully and carefully, I removed myself from Magnus without waking him, and draped a blanket over his relaxed body before making my way to the kitchen.

Chairman Meow was snoozing by his food bowl, almost like he was protecting it, and I had to step over him multiple times as I was searching for food. Soon I found a not-that-stale bag of Doritos in the pantry and sat at the counter, trying to be as quiet as possible when I opened it.

My cellphone started buzzing on the granite countertop, announcing that Izzy was calling me. I hastily opened it, getting artificial cheese on it in the process.

"Hey Iz," I muttered through a mouthful of trans-fat.

"Hi," she said. "Do you have something in your mouth?"

"I'm eating Doritos," I said as coherently as possible, swallowing the aforementioned chips.

"Oh… so you and Magnus _did _break up?"

"What? No. Why?"

"Alec I know you well enough to figure out that you only eat fatty foods when you're upset," she explained. "And Doritos are fatty foods for fat fatties."

"Okay, you do realize you just called me a fatty, right? And Doritos are not that bad; I could be eating double chocolate chunk chocolate cake." I paused. "And Magnus didn't break up with me. He's asleep."

"Oh, so everything's copasetic between you two?"

"It's not the seventy's, but yes, everything's fine."

"Does that mean you two can triple date with me and Jace?" She sounded pretty excited.

I popped another supposedly fatty Dorito in my mouth, chewing while thinking about whether or not it was a good idea to have Magnus and Jace in the same room. "I'll have to talk to Mag, but I can't make any promises."

In Isabelle's language, that translated to "Hell to the fucking yes, we will see you on Friday *girly squeal*" and she responded with "Awesome, I'll see you then" which, to me, meant "I'm going to get my nails painted and totally have a fangirl freak out when you and Magnus so much as look at each other." She hung up before I could say anything else.

"Great," I muttered to myself, tossing the empty Doritos back in the trash can. The way my taste buds worked meant that after I had something cheesy, I needed chocolate or I got upset. So I walked around the kitchen, scouring the place for some sort of chocolaty product, and finally found M&M's. Just as I was about to eat the delicious candy, Magnus came running out of nowhere and swatted it out of my hand.

"What…?" I started.

"Those have peanuts in them," he said simply. "You almost died."

"I did not," I said. "I'm not _that_ allergic." He gave me a smile that said nothing but 'Oh' and I couldn't help but kiss him right then. I pulled away and he smiled again, looking kind of dopey but in a really cute way. "You want something to eat?" I asked casually.

"God yes," he said, clutching his stomach.

I smiled to myself, glad that he wasn't randomly anorexic or something, because how fucking ironic would that have been? Anyways, I made him a sandwich with the works- turkey and ham (fuck yeah), two types of cheese, lettuce, tomato, a small onion slice, just the right amount of pickles, and a tiny bit of mayo. Magnus had been salivating the entire time I made it and when I finally handed it over to him, he placed it on the counter and slammed his lips to mine.

I didn't know why he suddenly started to kiss me but I was not complaining, let me tell you that much. The kiss was much more urgent than what we had been doing earlier and Magnus' tongue pushed its way into my mouth. He didn't taste so much like smoke since he had brushed his teeth, though I could still taste it, just barely. His tongue didn't leave an inch of my mouth unexplored and by the time he pulled away I was completely breathless.

"As much as I'd like to continue this," he started. "That sandwich you made is calling my name." He sat on the countertop along with the sandwich and I thought about how much we sat on the granite. It seemed like whenever we were eating or making something, one of us was on the counter.

Sitting on the stone with one of his legs crossed over the other, in all of his magnificent glory, I finally felt it. Something I hadn't felt in a long time, and something I really needed to feel- the clenching of my heart that I used to get all the time in Idris whenever I saw Magnus or held his hand or kissed him. My breath had barely come back from that intense kiss just moments before and it was taken away again because of that feeling in my chest. I didn't gasp so much as sharply breathe in, but Magnus caught it and looked up at me.

"What's the matter?" he asked quietly. "Is there another spider?"

"No, it's nothing," I said before he began searching for the horrible eight-legged freak of nature.

"Well get over here," he said, patting a spot on the counter beside him. "I'm lonely."

I hopped up next to him and he offered me a piece of his sandwich, but I turned it down because I figured he was really hungry.

"I insist. It's really yummy." He used his thumb and forefinger to open my mouth by my chin and popped the little pit of his sandwich in my mouth.

"That good," I muttered. "That's really good." He fed me another piece and smiled, touching his nose to mine for just a second.

Even after we had finished the sandwich I made, we remained on the counter together, though I'm really not sure why. It wasn't surprising when he ended up kissing me again and my heart clenched, harder that time. I pulled him on top of me, forgetting we were on the counter, and we nearly fell off, though we caught each other before we could fall to the ground, laughing our heads off.

**A/N- I said makeup sex soon, not right now. Goddamn, you horny little readers. THERE. WILL. BE. SEX. IN. THE. NEXT. CHAPTER. I promise, but it will probably take longer because MaybeThere'sHope is gonna be posting her new story on Sunday and god knows EVERYONE will be reading that, especially on Christmas day… Me = Jealous (of talent, popularity, etc.)  
>OH. BY THE WAY! I am twelve reviews away from six hundred and if I get there, that means that lemon I've been talking about will make you explode on contact. Like, don't read it around family members because your face will be so fucking red. JUST FREAKING REVIEW OR I SWEAR TO GOD, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU <strong>**AND ****YOUR FAMILY! Not really. But please review? I only need twelve and then automatically I'll be making that lemon more lemony than any lemon I've ever lemoned. Wait, what?  
>~Ella, who is still filled with envy. And lemons. <strong>


	43. What I've Been Waiting For

**A/N- Got to 610 reviews. Thanks a ton everybody and NOW IT'S TIME FOR SEX! YEAH SEX, FUCK ABSTINENCE, WE LOOOOOVE TO BANG! (By 'we' I mean Alec and Magnus) YEAH, GO SEX!  
>I realized just now that I have lots of issues. <strong>

**Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING BUT THE SEEEXXXX! God, I need to stop. **

It had been two days since Magnus and I got back together, though he said we didn't technically break up because it wasn't 'Facebook official.' The entire day had been busier than the last two weeks for me, with a huge essay due for college, and my day with Max, which actually went pretty well. When I went to drop him off that afternoon, my mother _smiled _at me. It was a real smile, a small one, but still real and I thought maybe, just _maybe_, I might be able to talk to her one day.

Around four thirty when I was on my way home, I got a call from Magnus begging me to go _grocery shopping_. He claimed we had absolutely no food in the entire apartment and he was busy 'cleaning' so he couldn't do it himself and I was already out, with my wallet. After him chewing my ear off for ten minutes, I finally said okay and had to make a big U-turn to get to the store.

Magnus texted me a ridiculously long list of useless things we needed, including chocolate three times. I swear, sometimes he had more cravings than a teenage girl when she was… never mind. It took me over an hour to find everything and by the time I was done the sun was starting to set. I thought it'd be a good idea to call Magnus before I checked out, just in case he needed something else.

I pressed number one on my sad flip phone and held it up to my ear, listening with a small grin as it automatically dialed Magnus' number. He picked up on the first ring with an enthusiastic "Hey babe."

"Hi," I said quietly. "I'm getting ready to leave."

"Oh, have you actually paid for everything already?"

"No…"

"Well can you get me one more thing?" he practically begged. "Please?"

"What is it?"

"We need uh," he paused for a moment and I heard scuffling in the background. "Bread crumbs!"

I blinked. "What."

"Bread crumbs."

"When would we ever need bread crumbs, Magnus?"

"For like… fried chicken and stuff. For dinner tomorrow."

I sighed and groaned at the same time, earning a strange look from an old lady buying Depends behind me. "We're going out with Jace and Izzy tomorrow, remember?"

"Right, yeah, that's what I meant."

That didn't make any goddamn sense. "So, you're saying that you're going to bring a can of bread crumbs to a restaurant tomorrow night?"

"Just get some!" he pleaded. "Please baby?"

"You think if you call me baby I'll do anything."

"Please baby?" he asked again.

I sighed once more before spitting out an irritated "Fine" and snapping my phone shut, rotating my cart to get to the aisle with bread crumbs.

What the fuck were we going to do with bread crumbs? I know Magnus has his cravings but _really_? I found them soon enough, grabbing the smallest and cheapest one I could find then quickly getting into the checkout line.

"Bread crumbs," I muttered to myself, shaking my head. "Next thing ya know, he's gonna be asking for tampons." Thank Morgan Freeman, no one heard that.

By the time I got to the apartment, I was tired and more than a little irritated. At least I'd had a pretty good day, when you consider everything with Max and Maryse. I climbed the stairs slowly, dragging the groceries along with me. Once through the door, I tossed my keys onto the coffee table and started putting away all the food.

"Magnus," I called. "I got your stupid bread crumbs."

I could hear him giggle at the tone of my voice and he shouted from the bedroom to just put them in the pantry. He was quiet after that and I wandered to our bedroom once everything was put away and Chairman Meow was fed. The door was locked.

"Magnus," I said, wiggling the doorknob. "What are you doing?"

The door popped open and Magnus' head appeared, grinning. "Nothing," he said innocently. "I just need to show you something." He opened the door wider and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the room.

The first thing I did was inhale deeply, as the room smelled like some sort of flower, maybe roses. I looked around curiously, not exactly knowing what was going on at the moment. The lovely scent was coming from candles that lit up the dim room and the sheets on our bed had been changed from their usual yellow to a very calming dark red. If I looked close enough, I could see that there were rose petals scattered around the bedspread.

It was Magnus himself that really made my heart soar. He was smiling so wide it looked like it hurt and his outfit was much more toned down than usual- just a simple black button down shirt and some dark jeans. He had eyeliner on, but besides that he wasn't wearing any makeup and his hair was down. He was absolutely beautiful.

The whole situation made me put my hand over my heart subconsciously and I felt completely awed. I sat down on the bed, disturbing a few petals, and gaped at him. "What's all this for?" I asked quietly.

"You." Just a few pieces of his hair fell into his eyes when he knelt down in front of me, gently taking my ankle. Slowly, he unlaced my Converse shoes and took my socks off for me, trailing his fingers up my legs. "I wanted to do something special."

I tried to think about the last time we had done something 'special' and realized I couldn't remember. If you can't remember the last time you and your significant other had sex, then you have a problem. Or you're married.

"And you needed bread crumbs for this?" I asked jokingly.

He giggled and blushed a tiny bit, looking up at me with shining eyes. "That was just to stall you." I leaned down and kissed him for quite a while, though I was really nervous. My heat was fluttering around almost painfully because I knew exactly where this was going. It's not that I was scared, but we hadn't done anything like that in a long time.

Magnus crawled on top of me at the same time his tongue pushed into my mouth. I was happy to discover that he didn't taste like cigarette smoke at all; he was back to his usual vanilla and mint, having not smoked in the last three days.

He was being slow, but not too slow, going at exactly the right pace for me. I was suddenly very awake, much different from the exhaustion I was feeling minutes before, which had been replaced by excitement. The nervousness was still there, but I knew Magnus would help calm me down.

I played with the hair on the back of his neck and slid my other hand down his shoulder to rest on his chest. He sighed into my mouth and gripped my hips, gently scraping his nails against my sides. I had to bite his bottom lip to keep myself from giggling and popped the buttons on his shirt, running my fingers down his toned chest as I went. Sooner than I thought, his shirt was completely undone and I slid it from his shoulders, tossing it to the floor without breaking our kiss one time. He had gained his weight back and looked much healthier that he had a few days before that.

My sweater suddenly seemed very warm but when I moved to take it off, Magnus stopped me. The look in his eyes said he wanted to do it himself, so I let him, looking at him the entire time. The instant hard on I got from the way he licked his lips at me made my jeans uncomfortably tight. Magnus must've felt it too because he pressed his crotch against mine and I closed my eyes, trying not to moan at the feeling.

In a blur of buttons and belts, our pants were taken off and thrown, landing somewhere in the room. Magnus wasted no time in slamming our lips back together and grabbing my ass, bringing my leg up to hook around his hips. There was a small spot on the fabric of my boxers where I was already starting to drip with pre-cum. Magnus, the sly bastard, dipped his hand into my underwear and stroked my entire length, rubbing his thumb along the wet slit at the very tip.

I moaned into Magnus' mouth as a shiver ran down my spine, tingling over my entire body. With one snap of the elastic, my boxers were off all the way and I was grabbing at Magnus, pretty much ripping his own off his body. I pulled him on top of me and bucked my hips, rubbing our cocks together.

Magnus barely removed himself from me as he opened our handy dandy drawer to grab the lube we always used. In just a few movements, he had coated his three middle fingers and was looking to me for the okay. I took a deep breath and nodded but he didn't do what I thought he would. Instead of pushing his finger inside me, he teased me, rubbing the tip of his finger along my puckered hole.

"Magnus," I moaned. "Please." He hardly complied by sliding his finger in to barely the second knuckle. I tried pushing my hips against him but he still wouldn't do anything else, just grinned at me, so I finally grabbed his wrist and pushed his finger all the way inside me, using my other hand to pull him by his hair to my lips.

He gasped against my mouth and added his second finger, pushing it all the way in that time. There was a fleeting moment in which I realized how much it didn't hurt, how it only felt good. Usually, when he was stretching me out, it started out with pain, yet that time it was just pleasure. I didn't notice he'd put his third finger in until he curled it, stroking my prostate and making me moan quite loudly.

With his fingers working wonders, and me a moaning mess, both Magnus and I were extremely hard. It was getting to the point where it was almost painful and I reached for the lube again, coating Magnus quickly and lining myself up.

"Be gentle at first okay?" I said quietly. "I haven't done this in a while." Even though his fingers hadn't hurt, I didn't know if his dick would. I mean, his fingers were nothing compared to _that_.

He nodded and very slowly pushed himself inside me, watching my expression before he moved again. I was right, it hurt, but only a little. It only took a few minutes for me to adjust to it and having him kiss every inch of my body was definitely helping with that. I nodded once and he pulled out only to push back in with more force than before.

It didn't take long for him to speed it up a bit and soon I was crying out different vowels along with begs and pleads for him to go faster. He was purposely missing my prostate with each thrust and the anticipation was killing me. Finally, Magnus hit it dead on and I nearly screamed.

"Oh god Magnus," I moaned loudly. "Right there baby; do it again."

On my command, he hit it again, causing me to literally scream. He smirked and kissed me, stifling my next cry. My hands found their way to his ass and I damn near clawed at it when he slammed into me again. His tongue ran over my bottom lip as he grabbed my cock, still thrusting in and out of me. Magnus was an expert at hand jobs and I felt my abdomen tightening within minutes.

"Mmm, I'm almost there," I barely said, my lips still touching his.

"Me too," he said shakily.

I removed one of my hands from his ass where I had probably left a mark and reached down to lace my fingers with his unoccupied ones. With just a few more thrusts, we came almost at the same time, him just a few seconds behind me. It must've been almost thirty seconds that I was riding it out and by the time it was over I was panting.

Magnus pulled himself out of me and collapsed on the bed as well, also breathing heavily. "Damn," he breathed. "You still got it."

I chuckled and pulled the covers over us. The once pretty sheets and rose petals were now coated in white liquid and the candles had burned pretty low, though it still smelled amazing when you got past the strong scent of sex.

"That was really sweet by the way," I said quietly, curling my body into his. "Doing all that just for me."

"You're welcome," he whispered, kissing my cheek. "You wanna know why I did it?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

I smiled widely. "I love you, too," I said. All of a sudden, my stomach growled so loudly it totally ruined the moment and I'm sure Chairman Meow could hear it from the kitchen.

Magnus laughed and asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"OH! We can use my bread crumbs for dinner!" He looked so hopeful that I just nodded and let him run off to make dinner with the bread crumbs he used to seduce me.

**A/N- UGH. Wasn't as lemony as I wanted it to be but I think it turned out pretty average for me. REVIEW RIGHT NOW PLEASE OR I SWEAR TO RAY TORO, I WILL DO SO MANY ILLEGAL THINGS TO YOU! Of course, I'm kidding, as always, but really, just review.  
>~Ella, who had to slam her laptop shut when her dad tried to see what she was writing. <strong>


	44. On the Balcony

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews, blah, blah, blah, I love you all, blah, blah, blah, -insert crazy psycho rant full of fucks here- blah, blah, blah. Okay, now we can get to my point- this chapter is going to be quite different with maybe some normalness in it. No, it is not another crack chapter (collective 'AWW!') I know, I know, but it's still gonna be different. It's in Magnus' point of view. One week ago. At Ragnor's. Yes, yes, I know it's different and you're all probably looking forward to the triple date BUT GET THE FUCK OVER IT BECAUSE ****I'M**** THE AUTHOR, GODDAMNIT! Ahem, sorry, but I've been wanting to write this for like a month. I had this image of Magnus and Ragnor on a balcony, smoking, talking about the shit that went down with bitchy Alec. This note is far too long. Let's get on with it, shall we?  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the fake British accent I've been using since I watched Harry Potter earlier today. Oh yes, you read that correctly. BLOODY HELL! A DEMENTOR! EXPECTO PATRONUM YOU FOUL BEAST! I'M HARRY POTTER YOU BITCH! SUCK MY STAG!<strong>

"I don't know Ragnor," I said quietly, staring out at the New York skyline. "Guess I just thought… he was the _one._ Alexander has always been so… sweet and kind to me. He was like this blushing angel sent to me from Idris or something." The thought of Alec was making me tear up, but I refused to cry, especially since I'd shown up at Ragnor's doorstep with a waterfall of tears just a few hours ago.

"He turned out to be just like the rest of 'em," Ragnor said with a tone of bitterness in his voice. "You'll find another one, Maggie. You always do." Ragnor was the only one who was allowed to call me that and it usually made me feel better but nothing seemed to help at that point.

In the hopes that maybe Alec had spontaneously texted me, I checked my phone again, with no such luck. It was after three in the morning and Rag and I were still out on his balcony, smoking, just talking about Alec alone. At first we didn't say much to each other, as I was too busy wiping away my tears, though Ragnor eventually coaxed me into speaking to him.

"You know for a fact that everyone I date isn't looking for a real relationship," I said. "I dated Alexander for over a year, I mean we're still dating I think because nothing's really official, but…"

"Go on," he insisted.

"I want a forever kind of thing, not a fling or another random one night stand with someone I've met one time who never talks to me ever again," I explained. "I've never had someone love me the way Alec did… does."

"What are you getting at?" he asked curiously.

"I thought I wanted to marry him one day, Ragnor. He's not just another boyfriend to me, he's husband material."

Ragnor pondered this for a moment and I could see the gears beginning to turn in his mind. "Well," he started slowly. "Why are you thinking of marriage right now? You have plenty of time to make that decision, I mean, hell, you're only nineteen."

"But I feel so much older…"

"That's probably from all those cigarettes you've been smoking." He nodded his head to the one I had just stomped out in the ash tray but handed me another one when I asked for it. "That's more than half a pack by you alone."

"I know," I muttered dejectedly. "I can't stop. Not right now." His eyes silently scolded me as I lit up again, though I chose to ignore it. I needed them for the time being as I was still shaking from holding in my tears, and yet not even the cigarettes were helping. Nothing was helping.

"Thought you quit," he whispered. I could hardly hear him over the wind from the chilly air.

"Me, too."

"Come on, man, put that thing out," he said. "I don't want you getting lung cancer and dying on me."

"That's not funny…"

"I'm being serious, Magnus," he said louder. "I smoke too, but this is getting ridiculous. You're obviously still not calmed down so smoking more isn't going to help you but that's like, what? You're twelfth one?"

I stared down at the cigarette in my fingers and sighed, closing my eyes. He was right, and in the back of my mind I knew that, but I didn't even want to listen to him. I wanted to get Alec back. _My_ Alec. But I couldn't. Not yet. So I just ignored him until the cigarette was too low and flicked it off his balcony, feeling utterly defeated and exhausted.

"Ragnor," I sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose Alexander."

"You'll live," he said simply. "Just like you have for the last nineteen years."

"But I don't want to if Alec isn't there with me."

That was when he stopped to look at me, really look at me, and I saw anger seep into his eyes. "And what about me, hm?"

I kept my eyes away from his impenetrable glare when I spoke. "You know I love you, but not the way I love Alec. You're my best friend, Alec is my… well right now I don't know. He's like a drug to me, addictive. More so than cigarettes."

"Listen, if Alec is really the one or whatever, he'll come find you," Ragnor explained, toning down his glare a bit. "If he really loves you like you said he does then _he_ will apologize first and _he_ will be the one to actually grow a pair and try and talk to you."

"I hope you're right…"

"I am right," he said.

"And you don't mind me staying here?" I asked again.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Course not," he said. "As long as you don't destroy the place."

I smiled more with my mind than my mouth. "Thanks." His arms opened up and he pulled me into a friendly, reassuring hug that lasted just long enough so it didn't take a wrong turn from Friend Town to Awkward Ville. Ragnor and I had an… _interesting_ relationship to say the least. We'd kissed, we'd had sex, we'd done other odd things that I'm not going to go into, but we were really just friends; brothers almost. I say almost only because brothers don't usually bang each other senseless. Once.

Back in the good old days, before Alec and after Will, we would sometimes uh, help each other out when we were horny and lonely. Oh I know- we're occasional fuck buddies. Before you freak out, please realize that Ragnor and I hadn't done anything along those lines in almost two years, so right then on his balcony, at three in the morning, with cigarettes littering the ground, we were just friends.

"Everything is gonna work out with Alec," he said as he pulled away. "And if it doesn't, I'll kill him." I gave him a tiny laugh and followed him inside. "Now, instead of continuing to kill your lungs, let's work on your liver. There's vodka in the cupboard and maybe, by tomorrow morning, you won't be so…" He paused, and gestured to all of me. "This."

Ragnor went off to bed as I sat on his couch, with a full bottle of vodka, that I sipped at for hours until the buzz I had turned into full on inebriation. The small simmer of hope and just the bit of happiness I'd been feeling from Ragnor's almost pep-talk completely melted away as thoughts of Alec took over my mind. Whatever show I was watching on Ragnor's television turned into distorted pictures and hollow sounds once my head started throbbing.

Even though my head was foggy, I could clearly remember his face when I said I was leaving and all of the things we screamed at each other. His eyes had been so innocent when I was leaving, so sad and defeated when he gave me back the necklace from out anniversary. In a fit of anger, I'd tossed it on the stairs as I was heading to Ragnor's. I wondered if he had found it yet and I regretted leaving it behind. For all I knew, it may've been the last thing I had of him.

I needed to see him again, but a happier version of him and my drunken mind turned to my cellphone; there were a lot of pictures of Alec on there, one in particular that always made me smile. I scrolled through my photos and finally found the one that brought tears to my already damp eyes. It was unbearably cute, one of those improve pictures that weren't posed.

Alec and I had been lying in bed and then, just randomly, he turned his head, closed his eyes, and kissed my cheek while I was texting, making me light up. I just had to take a picture while I could and almost didn't get the shot, but I think Alec knew what I was doing and stayed in his position until I'd clicked the camera button.

I let his name slip past my lips and finally the tears I'd been holding in all night fell as I realized I may never see him again. What would I do in my life without Alexander? He _was_ my life and if he left… I don't even know. I dissolved then, curling up with my vodka bottle and promptly spilling some on Ragnor's carpet.

A hand slid onto my shoulder and I looked up, coming face to face with Ragnor, who had been woken up by the sound of me crying yet again. He pulled me into a standing position by my shirt and coaxed my strong hand to let go of the bottle I was gripping so tightly. With a sigh, he handed me a tissue and led me to his guest room where I collapsed into a drunken, teary mess, which eventually ended with me sleeping, dreaming of Alec. My Alec.

**A/N- That wasn't supposed to end that way but I thought it was too short so I decided to wing it and I think it turned out okay. Now. This is the chapter I need the most reviews for, because I really need your guys' help. First of all, I wanna know if this was good enough to keep you preoccupied until the next chapter, AND I need to figure out what the hell is gonna happen on this triple date! They're going to Taki's, I know that, but I need topics and things that happen after, something funny maybe! GAHHHHH! This is like, the only time I'm going to ask you guys for any help so PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST REVIEW AND FUCKING HELP ME!  
>~Ella, who is desperate. Obviously. <strong>


	45. Siblings and Significant Others

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews and sort of ideas xD Hopefully this will work out well enough to make you guys happy, so let's see how this goes. By the way, I really forget what Taki's is like, and I'm far too lazy to check, so it's like a diner place that isn't exactly formal, mkay?  
>Disclaimer- I own NOTHING. <strong>

When Friday night came, I suddenly didn't want to go out with Jace and Izzy. It's not that I thought things would be awkward or something, though they might be because of Simon and Clary, but I just wanted to spendtime with Magnus, you know… _alone_. We had been very busy lately if you're catching my drift, having gone at it against the wall while our lunch burned on the stovetop that afternoon. Magnus had a thing about watching me cook or do any work really, and it made him all hot and bothered. Was that a little weird? Yes. Did I care? No.

Around six forty-five, Magnus disappeared into his closet to 'get beautified' while I pulled on the clothes he'd picked out for me earlier. Apparently, I didn't have anything that was classy enough for him so he let me borrow his own black button down which he had worn the night before. I let the top two buttons stay open, enough so I didn't look like a man-whore but so it showed my necklace. The shirt still smelled like him and I paired it with some dark jeans that weren't exactly skinny but weren't normal either. I was just lacing up my Converse shoes when he walked out of his closet.

We were practically wearing the same thing, though his jeans were white and his shirt was bright green, which matched his shoes. He blinked then giggled, mentioning that he didn't mean to match.

"No, I think it's kind of cute," I muttered, walking over to him. As I got on my tippy toes to kiss him, I saw that he was wearing black eyeliner and tiny dots of gold glitter around his eyes. Leave it to Magnus to add glitter to his ensemble. "You look fantastic."

"As do you, love." He smiled and went to go get his keys. "Shall we go now?" His voice faded away as he looked at my black high-tops. "Why aren't you wearing those combat boots you bought last week?"

I shrugged. "Those aren't exactly classy are they?"

"No," he agreed. "But they're damn sexy."

Hardly twenty minutes later, Magnus and I strolled into Taki's, with me grasping his hand and wearing my boots. Izzy and Simon were across the busy diner and we walked over to them, both of us accepting her bear hug. She was wearing what I guess was supposed to be a dress, that barely covered her up but she looked beautiful. Simon sat there awkwardly, eventually sticking his hand out and introducing himself to me. He didn't seem like a creep, weirdo, date-rapist, murderer, etc. so I shook his outstretched hand firmly, being sure to put on my scary older brother glare. His gaze didn't falter and I decided I liked him.

"So," he said as we all sat down. "Izzy tells me you went to jail."

I take that back.

There was a loud thump and his right eye twitched as he made an odd sound, turning his head to face a glaring Izzy. Before the awkwardness could choke me, Jace and a short little redhead showed up. She slid into the booth we were at so she was sitting next to Simon, with Jace on the end. On the other side of Simon was Izzy, then Magnus, and finally me. Jace introduced her as Clary to everyone and she blushed the color of her hair. She was actually kind of cute and a lot more polite than Simon was.

After everyone was introduced to everyone else, Isabelle and Magnus started chatting about clothes and she complimented his glitter. Clary and Simon were talking to each other and I wondered if they were friends or something, while Jace and I just glared at Simon. I guess he didn't like him other.

A waitress came by asking for our orders and I noticed that Simon ordered his steak rare. That's weird. Jace and Clary ordered the same thing (typical) while Iz and Magnus got this complicated thing with a lot of words and I got a chicken dish. The waitress smiled before leaving, throwing a wink in my direction. I just turned my head away and pretended no one saw that, but Jace wasn't letting it go that easily.

"Wow Alec," he said. "You're a real ladies man."

I chuckled, embarrassed, and shrugged. "I wouldn't say that."

"Does she not realize who you're here with?" Izzy asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Guess not…"

Before our food got there, Magnus and Izzy snuck off to use the 'bathroom' but I'm almost positive they were just giggling like girls and fixing their makeup/hair. Earlier, Magnus mentioned that he wanted Izzy to try out the eyeliner he was wearing so I bet that's what they were doing.

Simon, whom I'd been glaring at for quite a while now, slid a few inches over so he could talk to me without Jace and Clary hearing. "Hey man," he muttered. "Sorry about what I said earlier; I didn't mean to offend you."

I'll admit it, that was pretty ballsy for a nerd like him. I could be scary sometimes and he talked to me directly.

"It's fine," I muttered back. "No big deal."

"If you don't mind me asking," he started. "Why exactly were you in jail?"

"It was juvey," I corrected. I didn't think it would be a good idea to tell him everything with Max and Magnus because I didn't know him all that well, so I told him what was almost the truth. "Arson," I said.

"Whoa, you set something on fire?" he asked incredulously.

"It wasn't me," I said. "But the guy running the store that was on fire thought I did it."

"Did they ever catch the real guy?"

"More or less," I said with a shrug as Magnus and Izzy returned the same time the waitress was handing out plates of food.

Like a little skank, she winked again before she left and I realized that on the corner of my plate was a small sticky note with a number on it. I grimaced and ripped it in half, using it as a coaster for my water. When I didn't want anyone to know, everyone figured out I was gay, yet when I was out of the closet and sitting with my boyfriend, no one could seem to get their gaydar right.

Jace seemed to be the only one to really notice and he shot me a smirk to counteract my glare. I guess Magnus saw it, too, because he rubbed my knee affectionately as we dug into our food, ceasing all conversation for the time being. There was a point where his hand wandered just a little too far up and I started, causing my knee to collide with the bottom of the table.

Izzy raised her eyebrow at me. "You okay?"

"Mhm." Magnus was biting his lip, trying to keep his giggling in check. I cleared my throat, giving him a pointed look, and continued eating my meal.

Though she had only been gone ten minutes, the waitress sauntered over to our table again, asking if anyone wanted refills. Jace, the asshole, said he would just love some more soda. She poured him more, smiling at me the entire time, making herself look rather stupid if you ask me.

Magnus had been pretty quiet about it for the most part but he was finally fed up with some random bitch flirting with his boyfriend. She was just opening her mouth to ask if we (mostly me) wanted anything else when Magnus suddenly grabbed my collar and forced his tongue in my mouth. I heard a scoff and the sound of her stilettos as she clicked away. My lips were still connected to his as I had sort of forgotten about the skank now. There was a wolf whistle from somewhere at the booth and I figured it was either Izzy or Jace. Finally, I pulled away and took a second to catch my breath.

"Well then," Magnus said happily. "Glad we settled that." And he kept on eating like nothing had even happened while the rest of us awkwardly blinked at each other and stared at our food. Clary's cheeks were flaming and Jace was still smirking like Izzy but Simon just looked uncomfortable. I felt for the guy.

Eventually, the conversations started back up once we were full, and things were much less awkward then before. Izzy and Magnus resumed their highly intellectual chat about all things Gucci while Jace and Simon were muttering to each other about something that probably had to do with either video games, sex, or video games in which you have sex. Clary, being in the middle of all this, switched seats with Jace so he could talk to Simon without having to lean across her.

"So Alec," she said across the small table. "Jace talks about you a lot."

"Really?" I asked. "Hopefully he's only telling you good things?"

She laughed a little. "I assure you it is all compliments," she said. "As much as he denies it, he really looks up to you."

"Oh." No doubt I was blushing. "Actually, I haven't been able to talk to him in a while, so I haven't heard too much about you."

"I'm not that interesting…"

"Well, I want to know who my brother is dating," I said casually. "The only thing I know so far is that he bought you a sketchbook for your birthday. Start there."

"I'm a big drawer," she explained shyly. "Jace and I met because he saw me drawing in class. He had fallen asleep and I was drawing his hand because it stayed on his desk for the majority of English, but as it turns out, he knew I was there the entire time and still didn't move." She paused, smiling at the memory. "I like to draw people too, portraits mostly. Actually, I'd love to draw you sometime. You have a great canvas face."

Did she just call me rectangular? "A great what?"

"I mean you would look amazing as a painting," she explained. "Especially because of your eyes."

"Oh… thank you."

"I like your necklace by the way," she said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said, reaching up to touch the pendants. "Magnus gave it to me for our one year anniversary."

"That's so cute! What does it say?"

"'Forever and Always.'"

"Awww." Her eyes darted over to Magnus and she smiled wider. "You two are _so_ adorable."

"Hey Alec!" Jace said randomly, interrupting the nice conversation Clary and I were having. "I have a question for you."

"Oh god…"

"So, let's say, hypothetically of course, that tonight you and Magnus get home and decide to have ah… _relations_." Obviously, my face went beet red. "This is purely out of curiosity, but who would be on top?"

"Well, uh…" I stuttered for a moment. Everyone was listening then and I was about to go on a mini-tangent about how it was none of their business but I stopped myself. They were all expecting me to not answer, and even Magnus had his eyebrow up as he awaited my words, so I thought _what the hell_. Why not? "It depends," I said with a small smile.

"On what?" Jace asked skeptically.

"Whether we're against the wall or against the sheets."

That shut everyone up, let me tell you that much. Jace raised his eyebrows and I saw Izzy choke on her water a little.

"For the sake of interest, let's just say you're against the wall," Jace said.

"Then I'm on top," I said immediately.

"Jace, I do believe you owe me money," Simon said smugly. So _that's_ what they were talking about. Oddly, it didn't bother me that they were talking about my sex life. I was secretly happy about the attention, though I would never say that out loud.

"Not necessarily, Simon," I said. "If we're lying down, then Magnus is on top."

"Oh god!" Izzy exclaimed. "The mental image I just got is terrorizing my brain!" She rubbed her forehead with the balls of her palms and squeezed her eyes shut. "Make it go away. Quick, someone say something cute!"

"Newborn puppies learning how to walk on rainbows!" Magnus exclaimed.

"Whew." Her hands lowered and her eyes opened. "Thank you."

"Alec and Magnus having sex!" Jace exclaimed.

"God damnit!" Her eyes closed and her hands flew back to her head.

The night went on a lot better than I thought it would and everyone was laughing their heads off. Simon really wasn't that bad, he seemed to make Izzy happy so he was good with me, and the same went for Clary. They all seemed to love Magnus, too. Things were calm, happy, and coincidentally, Jace's 'hypothetical situation' turned out to be very true.

**A/N- Oh, I actually like this chapter, and as much as I want Clary to die, I'd like to imagine her and Alec as buddies. REVIEW RIGHT NOW OR YOU WILL DIE PAINFULLY AND SLOWLY, SO THAT YOUR LAST THOUGHTS ARE ABOUT HOW AGONIZINGLY HORENDOUS YOUR DEATH IS! Not really, at least I hope not xD Pwease review? Pwetty pwease? :3  
>~Ella, who loves Magnus and wants to fuck, I mean hug him… aha, Alec, please don't kill me…<strong>


	46. Too Many Things

**A/N- Thanks to all of you and especially Bee, I am now averaging just over 15 reviews per chapter. Thank you all, as this is a big thing to me, though I'm sure the majority of you don't care. This story has broken all of my records. It has the most words, the most chapters, the most reviews, the most hits, the most alerts, and the most favorites all because of you guys. So thank you from the bottom of my black little heart.  
>You remember how I was talking about making a zombie story and then a rockstar story? Well, I'm thinking about holding off on the rockstar story and doing an mpreg instead. Not as original as all of my other ideas, but it won't be the usual 'They have a kid, keep it, and everything's okay in the end.' No, it will be rather dark, not exactly for the faint of heart. It'll be violent too. Dramatic. Sad. Bleak. Like me. Oh, it's in the Shadowhunter Universe too, though I guess it'll be considered AU because there's no way in happy hell I'm doing that bullshit second plot with Jace and his bitch of a 'brother' Jonathan. Fuck that shit. <strong>

**Disclaimer- If I owned The Mortal Instruments series, book one would be City Of Malec, followed by City Of Hot Gays, then City of Lemons, and City of Penises, then City of the Vaginally Impaired, and finally City of OH BABY RIGHT THERE! Yeah, so obviously, I own jack shit. **

"I can't believe Mom let you come here," I told Max as we climbed the steps to my apartment. "I didn't think she'd be okay with it."

"Maybe she has some Christmas spirit," he suggested with a smile.

"Christmas isn't until next week, Max." I unlocked the door and he followed me inside, looking around at the mismatched furniture in the living room.

"I like your house," he said with a boyish smile as he sat on the big couch. "Is this where you go when you have off from college?"

I hated lying to my little brother but I reminded myself for the fourth time that it was for the best. He had only just turned ten and didn't understand some of the things going on with me and our parents. It was better for him to be under the impression that I had willingly moved out to go to college, than know that my boyfriend whom I met in jail almost killed the both of us.

"Yeah, uh stay here, okay? I'll be right back," I said, slowly walking to the bedroom where Magnus was more than likely sleeping. "I want you to meet someone."

Sure enough, Magnus was out cold in our huge bed, probably worn out from the night before. Apart from me fucking his brains out for two hours (yeah, I said two) he had woken up around three in the morning drenched in sweat, calling for me, claiming he had a nightmare. Magnus didn't usually have nightmares, none that I could recall at least. When I asked him what it was about he said he had a dream that Sebastian killed me. It was a scary thought, though we hadn't seen any sign from him in months, and I kept him in my arms for the rest of the night.

"Magnus," I said quietly, shaking his shoulder until his eyes opened.

"I thought you were with Max," he muttered groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"I am. He's here with me. Get up; I want you to meet him."

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, accepting my quick kiss. "I don't know if that's a good idea," he whispered.

"Why?"

"Well I did almost kill him."

"He doesn't know that."

He sighed, getting up to brush his teeth but agreeing to go see Max. I just sat on the bed, running a slightly nervous hand through my hair and hoping Max would like him okay. Maybe one day I'd get to explain to him all of the shit that's gone down in the last year.

Magnus walked out of the bathroom and cracked his knuckles. "Let's go then." He went to open the door but I immediately stopped him, slamming it shut. "What?"

"Magnus," I said bluntly. "You're stark naked."

He looked down and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, my mistake." Whenever having sex for that long, we were sweaty when we tried to sleep so we just slept naked. Looks like he forgot he was completely naked.

As he was putting his clothes on I explained some things. "He's only ten so no kissing or slapping my ass like you always love to do, okay?" He nodded, pulling on a pair of jeans. "I guess hugging is alright because I told him we were best friends… no cussing either."

"What's wrong with cussing?" The t-shirt he pulled on was just plain light blue and I knew he was toning it down for Max's sake. "I think it's pretty goddamn fun."

"Come on." I pulled him out of our room as I called Max over, beginning to sweat just a little. If Max didn't like Magnus I didn't know what I was going to do.

"Hi!" Max said cheerfully when he saw Magnus and I. He was sitting on his knees backwards on the couch with his elbows leaning on the back of it, letting his socked feet hang off the end.

"Max, this is Magnus," I said to him. "My… best friend."

He was off the couch in a second, standing in front of Magnus and hugging his long torso without missing a beat. Magnus looked a bit stunned but his arms went around Max for a few seconds before he gently pulled the ten year old off of him.

"Alec talks about you a ton Magnus," Max said. "You must be his best_est_ friend!"

Magnus smiled up at me. "I hope so."

They really hit it off after that and by noon they were sitting by the coffee table, coloring superhero books together while the Spiderman cartoon was on the flat screen. It was a huge relief to know that my little brother and my boyfriend liked each other that well. My other siblings liked him too, and so did their friends. In a broad way, I really had it made in life, if you take out my parents and Sebastian.

Unfortunately, only an hour later I had to take Max home and he clung to Magnus until I agreed to let him come with us. They sat in the backseat together playing I Spy while I drove to my old house, silently upset that my day with him had gone so quickly, and at the same time happy that things had gone so well.

"Alright Max," I said as I parked the car. "Time to say goodbye."

He gave Magnus a bone crushing hug and got out of the car, taking my hand as he followed me to the front door while my boyfriend stayed in the car. Maryse was on the other end of the door and actually opened it before I could do so myself, saying that she had seen us coming.

"How was he?" she asked as she opened the door wider.

"Great, as usual." I bent down to his level and hugged him quickly.

"Will I get to see you guys after Christmas?" he asked quietly.

"I'll have to check my schedule, but maybe."

"Go up to your room, Max," Maryse said in a motherly way, much different from her usual stoic tone. "Alec and I have to talk really quick."

"Bye Alec," he said with a sad smile.

I ruffled his hair and gave him another hug. "Bye Max."

Maryse and I watched him go and then she turned to me, sighing just a little. She seemed to be in deep thought and I didn't want to interrupt her, though the anticipation was killing me. The last time my mother wanted to talk to me, she ended up sending me to straight camp for a month.

"Thank you for letting Max come over," I said, breaking the strained silence. "He and Magnus really like each other." She didn't know about the fire Magnus set and she didn't need to know until I thought she did. End of story.

"Alexander, what are you doing on Christmas Eve?" she asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

"Uhm," I stuttered for a moment. "I was just going to spend time with Magnus…"

"Jace and Isabelle miss you and your father is in Washington for business reasons so he won't be back until Christmas Day," she said. "We were wondering if you would like to come over here instead."

If I wasn't caught off guard before, I really was then. I realized that over the few months I'd been back, my mother and I had started off with screaming at each other and now we were having civil conversations. It was odd, different, and I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to be over, even if my father was gone.

"You can bring Magnus if you'd like," she added.

"Maryse…" I paused. "_Mom_… I don't know if I feel comfortable staying for Christmas."

She nodded slowly. "I understand."

"A lot has happened over the last year or so and, as much as I'd like to, I can't completely forgive you right now," I explained. "Even though dad won't be there, I'm not sure if Magnus will be okay with this, either."

Maryse nodded again and looked me in the eye. "You're still my son, Alexander," she said quietly. "I'll let you think about it." She gave me a small smile and I barely returned it, leaving before things got more awkward.

Magnus had gone into the passenger's seat and lit up when he saw me emerging from the large house. I slid into the car and started it up, swallowing a thick knot in my throat as I pulled onto the highway.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," he commented.

"My mother invited us over on Christmas Eve," I muttered.

"_Us?_"

"Mhm…"

"Well, what'd you say?" he asked incredulously.

"I said I wasn't sure."

Magnus watched me watch the road and I could tell he was thinking. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… I think so. I'm just conflicted," I said. "I don't know if I can trust her yet... My father won't be in town but still."

"I think she means well," he said. "You're the adult here, I'll let you choose."

"You're older than me."

"You turned nineteen last week," he said. "So if you look at in a numerical way, we're the same age."

I faintly smiled at the memory of the amazing birthday sex I'd gotten and had to shake my head to stop from reminiscing for too long. Though the sex was fantastic, Magnus promised me an even better gift, but he said I wasn't getting it until Christmas; which brings us back to the problem at hand.

"Would you be okay if we go?" I asked him. "I mean, would you be comfortable with my mom being there?"

"Well she _did_ invite me so I guess I'll be fine," he said. "Why would she ask me to come over if she didn't like me?"

"That's true… I guess I'll sleep on it and call her tomorrow." I pulled into our driveway and we made our way up the stairs while Magnus offered to make lunch for us.

He got to work on making ravioli and I flipped through the channels until finally deciding to just watch the news. There was literally nothing else on TV and I waited for the weather report to come on, though a story caught my attention.

A man with a deep voice and an earring was talking about a five car pileup on one of the interstates. All but one person survived.

"Sebastian Verlac, a nineteen year old student, was the young man who had a fatal blow to the head and unfortunately passed," the man said as they flashed a picture of him with his cousin Aline. "But the reaction to his death may surprise some people. More than ten people have come forward and accused Verlac of assault and rape."

I paused the TV and frantically called Magnus over, trying to steady my heartbeat.

"What's wrong?" he said quickly.

"Just listen." I pressed play and we listened to the man again.

"None of the victims claim to have any ties with Verlac, and describe him as sadistic, unhinged, and mentally insane," he said. "Verlac served two years in a juvenile correction facility for attempted robbery and breaking and entering, though he had no record of assaulting anyone." A picture of Idris showed up on the screen, but quickly went back to the newscaster. "Some people believe the victims should've come forward sooner and found a better way to bring Verlac to justice, though others just say good riddance. Back to you, Sarah."

I turned the volume all the way down and turned to Magnus, not exactly sure what I was feeling. "He's… he's dead."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Magnus asked quietly, moving to sit on the couch next to me.

"It doesn't feel right to be happy about someone dying," I muttered.

"You haven't been the same since him, Alec," he whispered. "He raped you." My jaw clenched at the word but I wasn't mad or scared because of it. "Ten other people have been hurt by him and he deserves to die."

"Yeah, but," I whispered back. "My emotions are just all over the place, with my mom and now this…"

"I know," he said. He kissed my forehead and sighed. "Lunch is almost ready."

**A/N- Thing's I'm not good at writing- Everything. I'm so off my game right now, it took me a week to freaking write this, but I'm so glad I finally did. Jeez, I'm just stressed out so reviews are helpful. Anyone know good ways to un-stress yourself? I've got a headache I'm so stressed. Meh. Please review. This is over in less than ten chapters, so I'm milking all the reviews I can get and trying to tie up all the loose ends. Ow my head :'(  
>~Ella, who is in pain. <strong>


	47. Hey, My Life DOESN'T Suck

**A/N- I am sick. Throwing up among other things and I missed three days of school and I just found out that when I get back I will literally have ten tests to take. I ONLY HAVE EIGHT CLASS PERIODS, TWO OF WHICH ARE ELECTIVES; HOW THE HELL DO I HAVE TEN TESTS? One for each class period (minus gym) plus two midterms and a quiz. Fuck my life.**

**I am unbelievably sorry that this has taken so long, I'm just so stressed out and I probably won't be able to finish all of my makeup work because I have guitar at five! FUCK MY LIFE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!  
>*rant over*<strong>

**Sorry if this sucks, I recently became infatuated with Adventure Time and Finceline/ Fiolee. WHO'S WITH ME, BITCHES? Also, I've found that I have a strange obsession / borderline fetish with gay guys which is why I'm suddenly in love with the idea of Farshal (Finn x Marshall Lee) Yes, I have a problem and I admit it. I should seek help immediately. However, I really want Princess Bubblegum and Prince Gumball to die. They're both bitchy pussies and I hate them. Ya know what else I hate? That whole Marceline x Bubblegum thing. That irks me, cuz the only thing backing that up is the fact that Marcie gave her a t-shirt and they've had a 'complicated relationship.' -_- just because someone gave someone else a t-shirt doesn't mean they're lesbos. Then again, Marshall Lee and Finn have never met so it's just my boy crazy imagination going… well, boy crazy. HOPEFULLY MY THERAPIST WON'T EXPLODE WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT ALL OF THIS! *psycho face and high pitched laugh* **

**YEAH, FINCELINE WILL KILL YOU BUBBLINE FANS! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Ha. Haha ha ha ha ha… hehe… ha, he, hi, ho, hu, hy…. **

**Anyways, I've lost my touch people. I really have. *sobs* Toro help me. *goes off to corner to cry until Ray Toro agrees to help her*YEAH I KNOW I'M CRAZY. **

**GET ON MY LEVEL!**

**Disclaimer- *wails* I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!**

"Are you sure we should go?" I asked Magnus again, shakily buttoning my shirt. "I mean, I could always call and cancel but then Max would be upset and he seemed so excited about this, too…"

"Alexander, you're babbling." He sauntered over to where I was nervously standing in front of the mirror and buttoned my shirt for me. "Nothing will happen, I promise. And it would be extremely rude to cancel on your mother, especially because you already called to tell her you were coming."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm just nervous."

"That's totally normal." By scooting me to the side with his hip, Magnus moved me out of the way so he could fix his already perfect hair in the mirror. His outfit was really toned down- just a simple green shirt and dark jeans. It was really different, but I liked the way he was put together in a messy type of way, and he seemed very sophisticated. It was a nice change.

"Look I'm shaking." I held up my hand for him and he raised his eyebrows at how unsteady I was. "What am I gonna do if things turn to shit?"

His simple answer was "You'll get through it. And I'll be here for you." He was getting his shoes on and started to look for his keys. "Besides," he added. "What's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

><p>Magnus literally had to pull me out of the car when we arrived at the festively decorated house. Maryse always liked Christmas time and that should've been reassuring to me but to be completely honest it just made me a hell of a lot more nervous. Did that make much sense? No, not at all.<p>

Eventually, though quite reluctantly, I followed Magnus to the front steps and paused before ringing the doorbell. "My mom is still opening up to the idea that her son likes boys so not too much PDA, alright?" He nodded. "And she doesn't know about Sebastian or the fire or really anything."

"Do you ever plan on telling her?"

"I have to learn how to trust her first." After a few moments of internal battle, I finally rang the doorbell and anxiously awaited my family's appearance.

Like I expected, my mother answered the door with a warm smile. "Alexander," she said happily. "Come in, come in; it must be freezing outside."

It _was_ cold outside, probably somewhere between 10 and 20 degrees, and we gratefully followed her inside to the warm household. The mixture of the Christmas feel and the smile still gracing my mother's lips helped to ease away my nerves, and when I was about to introduce Magnus to her I knew my voice would only shake a little bit.

"Mom," I said quietly, trying my best to gain some confidence. "This is Magnus… my _boyfriend_."

I watched her intently and was very happy to find that she didn't even flinch at the word. There were no winces, cringes, gasps, jaw-clenches, fist forms, teeth grinds, eye twitches or anything. She just smiled and happily shook his hand, saying that she was glad to finally meet him. I was giddy after that in case that wasn't obvious.

She led the way to the living room where I found that _everyone _was there- Izzy, Simon (which threw me off for a minute because he was Jewish), Jace, Clary, Clary's mother and who I guess was either a family friend or her mom's boyfriend, and of course Max, who ran into my arms as soon as he saw me.

My mother introduced Magnus to everyone else, as she was completely unaware of the fact that he had already met Jace, Izzy, Clary, and Simon. I found out that Clary's mom was Jocelyn and her boyfriend's name was Luke. Jocelyn seemed a lot like Clary, with the freckles and pale skin, and she acted the same way too; shy yet polite about it.

"Alec, would you like some eggnog?" Maryse asked me, gesturing to the kitchen. "I know it's your favorite."

"Sure, thanks," I said with a smile.

"Magnus?"

He smiled as well. "That'd be great." As soon as she was in the kitchen, Magnus turned to me. "I like your mom."

"She's being very nice today…"

"Alec!" Max said as he bounded towards me again. "I told you she was feeling the Christmas spirit." He sat next to Magnus and me on the loveseat which made it only a slightly uncomfortable and we watched as he pointed out the different ornaments on the large Christmas tree.

As he went through probably each and every one of them, I recognized a few from when I was a kid, like the little cotton ball snowmen we made in school, or the pipe cleaner candy canes that were missing a few red beads. There were a few new ones, too, ones that I assumed Izzy and Jace made with Max when he was recovering in the hospital, including little cardboard gingerbread men. I counted three "Baby's First Christmas" ones but couldn't tell which ones were Izzy, Max and I. With the black hair and dark eyes, it was hard to tell.

A cold glass suddenly found its way into my hand and I looked up just in time to see my mom handing Magnus a glass similar to mine. "Thanks Mom," I said quietly. She paused for just a moment before smiling and walking back to the kitchen, no doubt to cook something.

Magnus was happily sipping at his own glass as Max continued to name off every decoration in the house and everyone else chatted softly. Magnus had the tiniest drop of eggnog on his lower lip and any other day I totally would have licked/kissed it off, resulting in us getting it on and lot of other things coming off but I couldn't. Not while I was at my mom's house and sure as hell not while Max was still under the impression that Magnus and I were just friends. So, I had to make do with using the corner of my sleeve to wipe it off instead.

The night went on pretty quietly until people started getting hungry. Jace and Simon acted like they were going to die if they didn't get food _right now_ while the rest of us simply shook our heads.

"If Mom had just let me help her cook we would all be eating right now," Izzy said with her arms crossed.

Jace groaned and held his stomach. "I think I'd rather starve to death than eat whatever crap you'd try to feed us."

"Excuse me, but I think my cooking skills are far superior to yours," Izzy exclaimed.

"Pfft, that's a lie! The Hot Pockets I nuke in the microwave are better than anything you've ever forced me to eat."

"Alright," I said, standing up from me seat on the couch. "If it's such a big problem, _I'll_ go help Mom with dinner, okay?"

They instantly ceased their arguing and muttered something that I assumed was some sort of thank you. On my way to the kitchen, I took my empty glass along with Magnus', shooting him a grin before I left. My mom was almost running around frantically in there, trying to take things out of ovens and put on timers and figure out how much of this to put in that recipe and where her recipe book even was. She hardly even noticed I had entered and put the glasses in the sink.

"Mom, do you want some help?" I asked.

She looked up from the casserole she was making and I was surprised to see that even though she seemed so overworked, not one piece of her hair was out of place, nor was she showing any strain whatsoever. That's Maryse Lightwood, always putting on the poker face when she needed to, though behind her eyes I could see she would appreciate just the tiniest bit of help.

"That would be great Alexander, thank you," she said. "The mashed potatoes aren't even mashed yet if you know what I mean."

I got the idea and quickly found the little handheld electric potato masher she'd gotten Izzy in hopes it'd give her something easy to do when it came to cooking, but unfortunately all it caused was the loss of two AA batteries and lots of potatoes ending up on the walls.

She was just putting the casserole in the oven along with the chicken when she turned to me. "I'm glad you decided to come over," she said, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

"Me, too," I muttered as I took a moment to taste the potatoes. They were awesome if I did say so myself so I went to the sink to clean up le masher while Mom went back to make something else that smelled rather gingery. Maybe she was making gingerbread. Mmm. Gingerbread.

"Magnus seems like a nice young man," she mused. "Where did you two meet again?"

"Uhm…" I hesitated for a moment, considering whether or not I should tell her the truth. Well, she already knew I was gay and she didn't completely hate me (anymore) so that was a start and I figured it'd probably be easier to start out with the truth instead of beginning on lies that eventually led to someone else telling her the truth, resulting in her being angry.

"We met in Idris, actually," I finally said.

She cleared her throat. "Oh?"

"He didn't rob a bank or anything, Mom. His parents died when he was really young so he had to steal to survive."

"That's awful," she said, and it sounded like she really meant it. "You're both faring well I hope?"

"Yeah, we're doing pretty well."

"Alright, I've had enough cooking for the rest of the year," she said with an exasperated sigh, putting the already cut out gingerbread men in the fridge. "I'll deal with these after we eat and now all we have to do is wait for things to cook." She began to clean up the counters and leftover pans and utensils but I stopped her.

"I got it," I said quietly. "You can go give Izzy and Jace the good news that the food is almost ready."

"Thank you Alec." She patted my shoulder and left, making sure to refill her wine glass on the way out.

It was so relieving to know that my mother didn't hate me and she was okay with Magnus and was cooking Christmas dinner. I had mostly forgotten everything that'd happened before that and was just focusing on what was happening right then, which was me cleaning dishes, but I'd rather be on dish duty than be in Idris again. There really wasn't much to clean and I was putting dishes on the drying rack in no time.

Someone's hands slipped around my waist and I had a faint idea of who they belonged to as the sweet scent of peppermint and vanilla washed over me. Magnus kissed the side of my neck and I dried my hands before turning around in his arms.

"I've decided that your mother is awesome," he muttered.

"Why is that?"

"She noticed that my shirt was designer and proceeded to compliment it," he said. "I guess that's where Izzy gets it. Oh, that reminds me." His hand went into his back pocket and he pulled out a small piece of mistletoe, holding it above our heads. "I'm sure you're aware of the rule."

"You don't have to tell me twice." I pulled him forward by the collar of his designer shirt and made sure to get some of that vanilla. My arms went around his neck as he completely forgot about the mistletoe and just lifted me up onto the counter, letting his hands grasp my hips as the holiday symbol fell to the floor. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and moaned just a tiny bit at the taste of vanilla, mint, and the smallest hint of eggnog.

As 'teen movie' as it was, I felt all rebellious and shit, kissing Magnus on the same counter our dinner was made in my parents' house. The hotness factor came from the fact that we could be caught at any time by anyone.

Who would have thought that 'anyone' was Max?

When his small voice said my name with a resounding question mark, Magnus let go of me so quickly that I literally fell off the counter and landed on my ass, only to pop back up and attempt to straighten my shirt.

"Max!" I exclaimed, my voice a few pitches higher than usual. "How… how long have you been standing there?"

"Quite a while," he said, getting all sophisticated on me. He did that whenever he knew he would be treated like a child unless he spoke like an adult, which was quite often.

Both Magnus and I were blushing and staring at each other, trying to figure out what exactly would be the appropriate thing to say to a ten year old who just walked in on his brother and 'best friend' making out on the kitchen counter.

"Did this just happen or were you lying when you said you were friends?" he asked innocently.

"I lied…"

"Why?"

"Mom didn't want you to know."

He giggled a little. "No one ever wants me to know about anything till I'm older," he said. "I go to a public school in Manhattan; I've known what it means to be gay ever since I heard that it was okay for gay people to get married here, which was like last year. I don't know why Mommy made it such a big deal."

I smiled at the way he gave a big speech about how mature he was then went and said 'mommy.' That night seemed to get better and better, what with Magnus being there, my mother actually being a mother and Max knowing that I was gay and simply not caring. I think he was more upset about me lying to him, really.

"So… you're okay with Magnus being my boyfriend?" I asked skeptically.

He shrugged. "Yeah, why would I not be okay with it?"

I shrugged back. "Some people don't like the idea is all…"

"That's weird… but really Magnus, I'm glad you're Alec's boyfriend. He was all mopey and lonely before you. It was kind of sad." I blushed as Magnus and Max laughed at me for a few moments. Max smiled and said that he'd let us "take care of business" then left with a few chips in his hand. I questioned just how much they were teaching ten year olds these days, though that didn't stop me from reconnecting my lips to Magnus' almost as soon as Max was out of eyesight.

**A/N- You guys know that author's note way up there? I apologize for being a crazy bitch, along with the fact that this chapter, like I knew it would be, isn't so… huh, what's the word? Uhm, AWESOME. Also, I need your opinion. I would LOOOOVE to drop a huuuge drama-bomb on this bitch, but I don't know if I should just stick with this nice, holiday, happy feel. SOMEONE HELP ME.  
>~Ella, who is upsetstressed to no end to say the least. She's also apologetic. **


	48. Merry Fucking Christmas

**A/N- Now, this is quite random, but I'm simply curious- how many of you readers are boys? I mean, I can only name one dude off the top of my head who is as obsessed with Malec as we are and that's Donavvin, who is simply awesome, but seriously, if you're a dude, come out and say it OR I'LL KILL YOU. Of course, you know I'm kidding, though I mean it when I say I want to know who's a dude. I don't care if you're anonymous or not, but it would be nice to know. **

**This chapter contains a drama-bomb, except it actually doesn't but it's going to except not really though there will be some drama but a good kind of drama, not the kind that everyone hates and this drama that everyone doesn't hate is the nonexistent drama so everyone will be happy except for those of you who wanted drama and those of you who didn't want drama will also be upset. **

**That sentence was a lie, and so is this one. **

**I bet you're confused now, huh?**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing but the confusion I ensue. **

It started snowing halfway through dinner, right as I was doubling up on my mashed potatoes. It was sort of an addiction of mine so I didn't even notice the snow until Max excitedly pointed it out as he ran to one of the large windows in our dining room. He was literally bouncing up and down at the sight of it, like he'd never seen the small flakes before. My mom had to get up to make him sit back down but I still saw the way his eyes darted to the windows.

Earlier before we had all started stuffing our faces, Max had come up to me and said that he'd told mom he knew about Magnus and I. I think I may have squeaked at that just a tiny bit, but he reassured me that mom didn't care. "All she did was do her mommy smile," he had said, and I knew exactly what he meant. All mothers had a universal smile that meant "I knew before you told me." I don't know how or why she found out Max knew before I did but I decided not to question it. She was a mom; it was probably in her genes.

I'll admit that when I was nice and full, quietly listening to all of the different conversations around me, I snuck a few peeks outside and smiled at how pretty it was getting. The outside lights were on so each and every flake was illuminated in the most beautiful of ways, making everything look like a cheesy Christmas card. Cheesy or not, it was still one of the prettiest things I've ever seen. Since then I had been formulating a plan in my head to get Magnus outside in that snow. Then it'd be even prettier.

Speaking of Magnus, his light green colored nails scraped across my knee and I had to try my best not to shiver. I linked my fingers with his and discreetly smiled at him, blushing at the look he gave me. It was that damn eyebrow of his that always got me and I couldn't help but scoot my chair a little closer to his. Izzy noticed this and smirked in my direction, then went back to snuggling up against Simon.

As I looked around, I realized just how much hand holding was going on, no matter how hard people were trying to keep it inconspicuous. Simon and Izzy were obviously being a couple, letting there linked hands rest on the table. Jace and Clary were even more obvious than them, as he kept kissing her cheek every five minutes and making her blush the color of her hair. Jocelyn and Luke were a bit more adult about it, only sharing side kisses and the occasional cute whisper. Max was bouncing from couple to couple, offering the gingerbread men that were just out of the oven, along with individual small tubes of icing for decorations. Then there was my mom, sitting all alone at the table, decorating a few gingerbread men for Max while he continued to freak out about the snow that was steadily building up outside.

I felt bad for her, though I guess I shouldn't have, I mean, she was married. But Robert wasn't there with her, wasn't there to help her cook, help her clean, help her stay sane. She may as well have been a single mom, raising three children and trying to reconnect with her fourth and oldest. Now that I think about it, I hadn't seen Robert at all whenever I'd dropped Max off and I questioned where he'd been all those times. I would've asked her about it, but it was Christmas Eve; it could wait a few more days.

I offered to help her clean but she shook her head and said she had it under control, so I just went back to the living room with everyone else, nibbling at a gingerbread man's head. Max dragged me over to one of the windows and tried to guess how much snow was on the ground. He was a little off when he said a foot.

"Maybe an inch or two buddy," I said with a smile. "But if it keeps going like this, then tomorrow morning you may be right." I ruffled his hair and went back to Magnus on the couch.

"I feel like a fatty," Magnus groaned, putting his arms around me.

"Oh please," I said with a smirk. "It's Christmas, you're supposed to gorge yourself with tons of food. It would be insulting for you not to."

"I guess we'll have to burn it all off later," he whispered in my ear.

I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I liked the little game we were playing. "And how do you suggest we do that?"

"Well, I guess you'll find out tomorrow."

"I hope so."

Isabelle, the biggest moment killer besides Jace, popped up next to my head as soon as I was cozy and nearly made me jump out of my skin.

"Hi," she said happily. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Uh, sure." As much as I didn't want to, I got up and followed Izzy to the archway that went from the living room to hall. "What do want?"

"Uh, I was just wondering, uh…" she stuttered and looked over my shoulder at something that was probably very interesting.

"Izzy," I said warningly. "What's this abou-"

"What's your favorite color?" she asked hastily.

"I don't know," I said. "Green," was the first thing that came to my mind, because I really didn't have a favorite color though Magnus' eyes were beautiful.

"Cool, I'll talk to you later, bye." And then she was gone, having darted away to Simon.

I found someone's back pressing up against mine and turned around to see the back of Magnus' head, whipping towards Jace in confusion who was walking away. Somehow, Izzy and Jace had gotten Magnus and I cornered. I didn't know why until I looked up and saw the mistletoe hanging from the top of the archway.

I'd been underneath mistletoe before, actually I had just a couple hours earlier, but I wasn't sure if I should kiss Magnus with everyone watching. My mom had just walked out of the kitchen and saw us there. Even though she gave me a small smile and nodded, I remained paralyzed.

"Well don't just stand there!" Izzy finally exclaimed. "Kiss him already!"

I only paused for a fraction of a second before connecting our lips together in a very sweet kiss. We smiled as we earned a few 'aww's along with a mini round of applause and with some small laughs. I pulled away a little sooner than I'd like to, but I didn't want to scar Max any further. He'd already seen us makeout once that day.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Jace said, clapping me on the back. "It was almost sweet if it wasn't so nauseating." I knew he meant that I was his brother not that I way gay, so I just blushed and punched his shoulder playfully, returning my hand to Magnus'.

From down the hall I heard the front door open and looked over at my mom. "Are you expecting someone else?" I asked. When she shook her head I turned to Jace, figuring he had invited one of his many 'friends' but he just shrugged.

"Robert," I heard my mom say, her tone was a mixture of surprise and worry and I followed her gaze to the doorway.

He didn't look like the put together man I remembered- he looked tired, stressed out, emotional. In his arms he held three gifts that he would probably use to try and make up for his absence yet he still had that angry flush to him, the one he almost always had, because he was just an angry person… but as soon as he saw me it was like dumping gasoline on a flame.

"What is he doing here?" Robert asked, not even speaking in my direction.

At that point, Jocelyn, Clary, Simon, and Luke excused themselves to the kitchen, trying their best to get Max to come with them. Eventually, he agreed to go and I was glad for him to be gone. Whatever was about to go down was not something he needed to hear.

"I invited him," she said simply, standing her ground.

"Why?"

"Because he's our son, Robert."

"He's no son of mine."

"Dad," Izzy said pitifully. "Please, Alec didn't do anything wrong, just let him stay."

"Shut up Isabelle!" he shouted at her, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. "This has nothing to do with you, it's about this faggot who's ruined everything."

He went on to say how I wasn't his son at all, how I was the abomination that had unfortunately been born, how I was the reason why so many things in his life had supposedly gone to shit. My mom tried to say something but he just kept screaming. As soon as this tangent began, Jace and Izzy's mouths dropped open completely, as they had never heard him like that. Even nearly two years ago, when all of this started, he always kept quiet with his anger, keeping it bottled up.

"Robert, please!" Mom said, finally interrupting his rant. "It's Christmas, the least you could do is try to be-"

"I don't give a fuck what holiday it is!" he shouted, startling all of us. "He shouldn't be here! You know what he did to our real son; you know what he did to Max."

"I never did anything," I finally said, my voice obviously shaking. "Why would I have any reason to try and kill my little brother?"

He took a step towards me and Magnus grabbed my wrist, trying to get me to move back but I shook him off and stood in front of him instead.

"How am I supposed to know what goes on in that queer head of yours?" He turned to Magnus. "And who the hell is this?"

"My boyfriend," I snarled.

"Well whoever he is, he needs to get out." He went to grab Magnus' sleeve but I immediately threw his hand away from my boyfriend and protectively held him behind me. The look Robert gave me was enough to scare me completely senseless and I could barely get my next words out.

"D-don't," I almost whispered. "Don't you dare touch him. I don't care what you do to me but you cannot lay a hand on him, or anyone else for that matter. I don't know what you think you're doing coming in here and destroying everything." The voice I thought had left me was screaming now. "No one here deserves what you're doing; Magnus doesn't deserve this, neither do Jace and Izzy, your fucking wife doesn't and Max sure as hell doesn't either. I don't understand why you feel the intense need to be such an awful father to him if you're always so mad at me for something I never even did-"

The searing pain I felt when his hand collided with my cheek was worse than the first time because everyone was there to see it. The room had gone deathly quiet and the sound of his slap echoed throughout it, the only other sound being Izzy choking on a sob. I held back tears and swallowed the lump in my throat, though it reappeared when a small voice called out into the silent room.

"Daddy?"

Robert turned to the door that went to the kitchen like the rest of us and saw Max standing quietly in front of it, confusion obvious on his face. I wondered how long he had been standing there, how much he'd seen.

"Max," Robert said, crouching down and putting on a phony smile. "Come here, son."

Mom's stride toward Max was frantic and she picked him up into her arms, acting as if she were shielding him from everything that was going on. "Robert," she said with a strained voice. "I believe it's time for you to go."

"Maryse, really," he said, his tone becoming overly cheery. "There's nothing wrong with me giving my son a Christmas hug."

"You need to get out of my house," she said calmly. "And if you don't, I have no problem with calling the police."

He pursed his lips but the look she was giving him made him pick up his half-assed gifts and leave without a word. The whole room seemed to take a deep, shaky breath and Max climbed out of Mom's arms to run into mine.

"Alec, why did Daddy hit you?" he asked so softly I almost didn't hear him. He was crying.

"This time, Max," I said, pulling away from him. "I'll have to tell you when you're older." He frowned and I wiped away some of his tears. "How about you go make sure everyone else is alright, okay? Don't let anyone go hungry." He nodded and went slowly off to the kitchen again.

I stood up when Izzy came over to me, crying as well and trembling hard enough that she could barely get her arms around me. "Alec," she choked. "I'm so sorry…"

I didn't reply, but let go of her when I saw Jace. His expression was one of complete shock and I think he was the only one who wasn't crying, though he seemed pretty close. Jace, one of the strongest people I'd ever met, was almost to the point of tears because of our father.

"Mom," I said, sweeping my own tears away. "I think Magnus and I are just going to go."

She pulled me into a hug and I could feel how hard her heart was beating. "Alexander," she said. "I will do everything I can to make this right." I nodded but I hardly believed her. "I'm sorry I let things get to this point."

"It's not your fault."

Magnus, who was being uncharacteristically quiet, nodded his goodbyes to everyone and barely accepted Izzy's hug. He grasped my hand and led me to the car where I burst into silent tears in the passenger's seat. Next to me, Magnus held back whatever emotions he was feeling and grasped my hand the entire ride home.

**A/N- Alright, who hates me? *raises hand* I hate you, Ella. I know Ella; I hate me too. But Ella… Yes Ella? Do you think the readers/ reviewers hate you? I don't know Ella, but they'd have a good reason to. I know, Ella, this wasn't your best chapter. Yeah Ella, but at least it was long, right? You know, Ella, you're right. Hey Ella? Yes Ella? DO YOU THINK YOUR READERS SHOULD REVIEW? Yes Ella, MY READERS BETTER REVIEW OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY. Wow, Ella, you seem to be really angry. I am Ella… I am.  
>So, in a nutshell, all of that craziness up there was just me asking you guys to review xD Do as you're told, my little monkeys.<br>~Ella, who just realized what a crazy person she is. **


	49. Maybe

**A/N- You guys… have no idea… how sorry I am for just abandoning this so abruptly. I am so fucking sorry. You all were fucking dedicated to this shit and I just suddenly dropped it and moved onto another story. I can't remember half the shit that went on in this story but I remember all of the reviewers. The people who told me what was awesome and what sucked and what they liked and what they wanted to burn in hell, all the while making me a better author and relatively stronger. I started writing this when I was really depressed a year ago and now that I'm happy it's hard to keep writing. But my angsty depressing nature is starting to seep back into my brain so I might be able to finish this. **

**I'm going to try, though I can't guarantee it'll be worth anything. It may suck, it may be great, or it may fall somewhere in between mediocre and awesome. There were only going to be two chapters left when I dropped this and I plan on keeping it that way so at least I can say I finished something. **

**I know for sure that I would be pissed as all hell if everyone randomly stopped reviewing everything I did because they were too wrapped up in another story. That would break my poor nonexistent heart, so I hope you guys haven't given up on me yet, because as I said before, I'm going to **_**try**_**.**

**Disclaimer- No matter what I write, I know one thing will always remain the same- I don't own shit.**

Magnus sighed as we walked into the apartment, and I would've done the same except I was too exhausted, emotionally and physically. I think he was about to try and talk to me about something, everything, but I collapsed onto the couch before he could, burying my face in one of our fluffy throw pillows and letting my arm dangle off the couch lifelessly. I wasn't crying though, as I was all out of tears. At least I thought I was.

As I felt my heart clenching out of pain and anger and grief for the second time, I also felt Magnus' hand on my neck, in my hair. He was trying to console me, and his touch alone was almost doing that. I thought I could at least cooperate with him, try to feel better, so I turned my head to look at him and saw my own feelings reflected in his eyes as he crouched in front of me. He was empathizing with me, because he had been through the same emotionally scarring situations and probably knew exactly how I felt.

"I'm sorry baby," he whispered, his voice oddly echoing in the otherwise silent room. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I took a shaky breath. "Can you just hold me instead?" It was a sappy line, one that was used in many so-called romantic comedies, but it was the only thing I really wanted at that moment. I didn't want my mother to try and make things better, I didn't want my dad to suddenly become a person with a heart and apologize, I didn't want to die and have a different life, all I wanted was for Magnus to wrap his arms around me and let me cry into his shoulder.

As soon as his arms were around me and I was lying comfortably against his chest, I let my muscles finally relax after a night of being tense. I realized I was wrong and that I had plenty of tears left to end up sobbing on his shoulder. He just let my tears soak into the fabric of his designer shirt without saying a word about it, simply stroking my hair and softly humming in my ear.

I had been crying more in the last two years than I had in my entire life. Not because of Magnus, but because of the things that led me to eventually find Magnus. Weren't these years supposedly going to be the best of my life? That's what everyone always said, along with 'enjoy it while it lasts,' which means it's supposed to be fun and free, wild and young. So why was it so shitty?

"Are you humming the 'Born This Way' chorus to me?" I muttered thickly. After crying for so long my voice was hoarse.

"Yeah, sorry… I'll stop."

"No," I said quickly, wiping my eyes and sniffling a tiny bit. "I like the sound of your voice."

"I can't sing it like Mother Monster, though," he muttered in my ear.

Call it a gay stereotype, but we both loved Lady GaGa almost as much as we loved Adam Lambert. Yeah, not something you would expect from me, I broke every stereotype around, like how all gay people love colors and are totally out and proud about everything. That's not me at all, and yet I was a lover of pop music along with my usual alternative rock.

Magnus picked up my hands in the way you would when teaching a baby how to walk and moved them around to the beat of the song as he sang quietly in my ear. "I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause god makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way!" He was shaking my arms in a dance that was a mixture of fist-pumping, arm waving, and some sort of noodle type movement. "Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you're set. I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way."

He was trying to lighten the mood a little, and he was succeeding if you ask me, which I was very grateful for. I'd never met someone who could pull me out of my bad moods just like that, especially when they were the result of something as horrible as what my dad did. It took a lot to get me out of bad mood and yet Magnus was the one person who could do that in just a song chorus.

"Thank you Magnus," I muttered.

"For what, love?"

"Being here," I said quietly. "With me."

"Well, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He paused. "Wait, yes I would."

My heart stopped for a moment when he started to get up to go to our bedroom. "What?"

"I was going to wait until Christmas morning, but it'll kill me if I do," his voice echoed from the bedroom. He came back with two slips of paper in his hand, which I saw were tickets to Paris when he sat down again. "And maybe it's the perfect time for a vacation."

"Magnus…" I was speechless to say the least. It was a strange time for me to randomly be going off to France, but he was right when he said it was also perfect. I needed to get away from everyone… everyone but my boyfriend.

"We can leave as soon as tomorrow or I can throw them away and forget about them," he said quietly, looking right at me while I stared at the tickets. "It's up to you darling."

"Of… of course I want to go with you… I'm just…"

"Surprised?"

"Yeah."

"I know you're going through a lot of shit right now so I'm not going to pressure you into leaving," he said slowly. "But maybe it'll be good for you to forget about it all, if only for a week or two."

"I'd love to."

Magnus smiled softly and leaned over to kiss me, making my fears melt away for just a few moments. I realized how young we were and how much we had gone through even when we weren't together. It was a lot for two teenagers just trying to survive and going to Paris would be like a break from everything around us. It would just be Magnus and I and a new place filled with opportunities.

**A/N- I'm not sure if I'm happy I finally got this up or if I'm upset that it's not very good. I seriously don't know, my mind is in a weird place right now, but the next chapter is going to be the last (I mean it) and I already know how it's going to end- They all die in a freak accident and then turn into bloodthirsty zombies/vampires. No, I'm kidding. I still have my sense of humor, did you notice? No? Me either…  
>Uhm. Review? Please? I'm kind of really sad about leaving you guys and every time I see a new review pop up for this story I get scared, like someone's gonna flame my ass off and I'll never write again. Here, I'll give you an example- *logs in* *checks legacy story stats* *sees one new review for Innocent* *stops breathing* *review isn't flame* *breathes**cries a little at the fact that there hasn't been an update in Morgan Freeman knows how long* *opens up unfinished Word Document for next chapter* *attempts to finish it* *can't finish it* *cries*<strong>

**Basically that's my life. **

**Review. **

**~Ella, who is confused in too many ways to be possible.**


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